Discipline and Babies

I realized that if I put to much food on the tray, babies will throw it on the floor. Try putting less food on the tray. When she eats what is on her tray, giver her more. I wait to give my kids sippies until they are done eating.

Mom,
I am a teacher of young children and have had many child development classes. Your baby/toddler is much too young to discipline for this (annoying to you)game she is playing. It is fun for her and is a learning process so don't punish. When my daughter started feeding herself we went to the baby superstore and got what was then called a "splat mat" it was a cute soft plastic colorful tarp thing that went under the high chair and extended out about 4 ft all around the high chair. After meal time we just wiped it off and it could even go in the washer. Picking up cups time after time is not as fun for you, but she is truly learning. The novelty will soon pass. THe only thing I would possibly raise my voice about at this age with her is if she is endangering herself or another child or pet. If your house is not safety proofed yet, I hope it is, I would only scold for an extreme example. This would be for example if she would try to stick something in an uncovered electrical switch plate or hurt a pet by poking its eye etc.. In this case I would shout "No" loudly and may even gently swat her hand away due to the danger. I don't believe in spanking at any age. Hope this helps and good luck getting through this dropping stage.

.

Well, learning cause and effect is great. She drops the food on the floor... and then she doesn't have any more food to eat! In our house, if food or drink ends up on the floor, there is no more food or drink until the next snack or meal time. I don't get all bent out of shape about it. And actually, I do not care in the least if they eat ANYthing at mealtimes. My job is to put healthy, tasty food in front of them. What they choose to do after that is entirely up to them. This eliminates many battles, trust me on this one. (For the record, my girls actually do have very good table manners at ages 5 and 7, so ignoring them in their baby heathen stages didn't have any long-term disastrous effects! =)

At this age this is a game. Just like dropping toys out of the playpen and throwing her bottle lol. She is old enough for you to say "NO NO" but follow that immediately with food stays on the tray. and to make this easier just give her one or two bits on her tray. not a handful also give the sippy cup to have a drink and then take it back. she will get better.

Hi A.-

When my charges (I was a nanny) went through this phase, I would take it as a sign they were all done with their meal and take them away. Since I (and you) know it's a developmental phase, like crawling, I do not punish, but I eliminate the behavior by ending the meal.

Simply say, "When you drop your food, you show me you're all done. Do you want to eat or play?" If they play again, then remove them from the table.

Good Luck-

R. Magby

I agree with the other moms in terms of cause & effect. If she drops something, you'll need to react (Taking the sippy away, etc.) I totally understand how frustrating it is, I went through it myself (and sometimes still feel like I'm going through it with my 2 year old!). Don't think of it as discipline, think of it as training. You're not punishing, you're teaching. At that age, my son didn't understand punishment... it's in one ear out the other. However, if I took something away (like the sippy or food), he just simply couldn't do it anymore. He was stuck just sitting there distracted by something else be it me talking to him or whatever was around. I didn't like to take away his food though, and would feed it to him instead of him doing it himself. I'd give him back his sippy after he was done eating.

Give it back to her after she drops it (well, the sippy cup anyways) and firmly say "no". After, say, 3 times of dropping it, take it away, out of her reach for a bit.

For the food, just take it out of her reach after the 3 times. If you know she still needs to eat, perhaps you can hand her one piece at a time (as long as she actually eats them).

She is still young to remember not to drop things next time, so you will have to keep it up for a while until she understands. Just be consistent!!!

My nephew will be 2 years in a few weeks. He went through this same stage & this is what we did with him. He does better now!

I would say is she dropping it out of a game or is she waving her arms around with the sippy cup in her hand and she lets go? The difference is intent. If she intends to drop it then it's a "game." If she's not aware that she's doing it, simply pick it up.

Next time she drops the cup just leave it there. Ignore it. Don't even look at it. She won't die of thirst. Let her finish the meal without it. You picking it up and giving it back is a game. You telling her "no" is even a game. So don't make it a game, just ignore it. If she squirms, points and indicate she wants it then ignore that too.

Most babies drop their cups when they are done drinking anyway. She will learn not to drop it faster with you ignoring it than you even acknowledging it with a "no." It may take a few meals but she will learn :)

Hi A.,

My daughter is 16 months old and I go through this with every meal and snack. Frustrating, I know! I feel like I am a slave to cleaning up spilled food and water. However, this is a VERY important stage of development and disciplining her for this behavior could set up some major eating/food issues. When my daughter starts throwing food, I ask her if she is done eating. Sometimes she shakes her head yes, sometimes no. If I don't get a response I will ask again then tell her that I guess she is done since she is feeding the floor. I remind her that food is for her mouth and not the floor and then I clean her up, clean up her mess and that meal is done. Explaining that food needs to be eaten and not thrown is the only "discipline" that you should give at this stage. Eventually, she will come to understand that throwing food it not the only way to communicate that she is done eating and now playing games. Make sure you explain why you are removing her from her high chair so she knows that when she throws food, she is signaling to you that she is done eating. Children are smart. By doing this, my daughter has become better at shaking her head yes or no when I ask if she is done eating. 9 times out of 10 she gives me an answer and then is pleased with herself that she communicated with me.

P.S. - When she starts throwing food, the worse thing you can do is immediately respond. Toddlers love to get a reaction. So give it a few throws before you ask if she is done. My daughter often times throws a few pieces of food, checks to see if mommy is watching, and when I ignore it, she starts to eat.

Good luck!

I don't think she's too young. If you let this behavior continue, imagine where you might be in a few months! It'll also be very hard to feed her outside - like at someone's house or a restaurant- without a lot of embarrassment. Make sure you give her a warning before you take things away though. If she throws her sippy on purpose, you can give it back once telling her if she does it again, she doesn't get it back this meal. With food, you have a few choices. If you want to stop her actions right away, you can warn her, then stop the meal. She's old enough to wait for a healthy snack a few hours later and the next meal. Then, at the next meal, remind her of what happens if she throws food again. We did this, and our son never threw food again. If you're concerned that she might be hungry and don't want to cut off the food for that meal, you can tell her if she throws food again you won't give her the opportunity to feed herself anymore that meal (or even the next). You'll have to feed her so she doesn't have food in front of her at all.
When she can eat appropriately, you should take her out to eat somewhere- restaurant or a friend's home. I'm a believer that the more places you take your kids, the more chances to model and teach correct behavior- and the more you can go out with them!