Disagreeing with My Husband on Forcing My Child to Try New Foods

It never ceases to amaze me how many parents see food as some kind of control or discipline issue, I just don't get it.
Offer good food, alternate the menu and continue to introduce new things, and the kids will either eat it or not. WHAT is the big deal?
I was a "picky" kid too. Slimy food made me gag, especially mushrooms, and there were other things that made me want to vomit. As traumatic as my childhood was I am thankful at least no one made me eat things that grossed me out.

Been there, done that. The more he tries to force her the more she's going to dig in her heels. He's being an a**. She eats fine. He needs to back off.

My granddaughter is a picky eater. She won't try a new food unless she's in the mood. I had to learn that being a dictator at the dining room table is not going to accomplish anything.

My granddaughter will actually start puking as soon as she is forced to put that food in her mouth.

I suggest you leave the table and let him deal with this. He can clean up the puke and he can deal with the other stuff that IS going to happen.

I know from experience that his method will not work, she will NOT try new foods and she WILL resist even more.

A parent does NOT have to be an a** at the table to get a child to try something. The more relaxed and happy the meal is the more receptive she will be to taking a tiny bite or even smelling it. That's a big step towards actually trying it.

Just tell him to stop. She can and will try things when she is a little older. She doesn't have the taste for it yet.

For every time he forces her, tell him he has to try cow tongue, prairie oysters, chocolate covered crickets, ants, dog, tripe, and what ever else comes to mind.

She sounds like she eats healthy enough. She will eat when she is ready.

Let your husband know, my father used to do this too, till the night I was forced to try something and ended up throwing up all over the dinner table.

There were years of stress I endured during meals. We never knew when he was going to insist we were bad girls for not eating what he liked.. Maybe he was taking it personally, I think he was just not educated about children.

Many children have a heightened sense of smell.. As we get older this sense wears down...this allows us to tolerate some smells we previously could not... Example skunks... When I was young, my eyes would burn my throat would clench up I would become nauseas by the smell.. Now I can tolerate it a lot better..

Same with Brussels sprouts,broccoli and cabbage...

I know he thinks it is ridiculous...but he needs to honor her ability to control what goes in her body... She sounds like a pretty good eater and will become more adventurous, if he will lay off on his control issue...

I agree with your way and not your husband's.
Food should never be a battle. We never force our kids to try something if it's just going to be a fight. They're just going to say they hate it just to be spiteful If you're fighting with them and demanding they eat it.
We will certainly nudge them to try something, nudging a little bit harder if we're a guest somewhere and the host made it for us. But never outright demanding that they try something.

i'm with you. and since this isn't a new issue, your husband needs to quit being passive-aggressive with you by expecting you to back him up knowing you disagree, and overtly aggressive with your daughter.
especially over crappy sodium-laden foods.
khairete
S.

Besides the fact that mealtime sounds real fun in your house, forcing food in any way is going to result in your daughter having an eating disorder!!! Do some research and you'll see WHY young girls develop anorexia and bulimia!! If she's eating a well-balanced diet, there's no need to force new foods on her at all. She's got plenty of time to try new things. Besides, just because she likes/dislikes something now doesn't mean she'll like/dislike it when she's older.

This is going to backfire on you both; plus, it's borderline abusive!!!

Just my opinion!!!

As someone who cleared the table by puking when my father insisted I "wouldn't even notice" the taste of those green peppers that night, I certainly see your point! It's taken me over 40 years to acquire a taste for them. Lol
I think the most important point is NOT to make good a battle, nor the kitchen a battleground.
Sounds like your daughter ears pretty decently, so I agree to kind of "add on" to her repertoire.
Gotta say, I spent many an evening sitting on a kitchen chair before a plate if 6 congealed Brussels sprouts or cold liver.
Guess what? I still don't eat them!
So "offer" and encourage her to "try" new stuff? Absolutely!
Force? Not in our house.
Oh, by the way, I have a 10 year old that eats EVERYTHING except 2 or 3 foods and we never forced any food on him. He loves to try new things. Big bites, no wimpy licking little nibbles.
So, yeah, wouldn't make it a struggle or a battle.

I don't agree with other moms that your scenario will cause an eating disorder.... Parents that don't provide children with the necessary self esteem are a lot more likely to cause eating disorders than a Dad who makes his daughter eat a hotdog.

Anyhow, i think it is completely normal for children to not want to try new foods. But, I also think encouraging them to try it and not just letting them decide for themsves is important. IMHO, this is life. you don't always get served what you want, so you can either be happy with what you get or go hungry. As the parent, you there to guide.

I serve my children SMALL portions of new foods and try to make it fun for them to eat. And I bribe... (the horror). My kids LOVE fruit, so I will 'say eat a couple more bites of whatever and then you can have grapes'. Yogurt works good too... Some nights are better than others, but for the most part it works! They aren't traumatized for life!

Kids can control three things. Sleeping, potty-ing and eating. In my opinion it's never a good idea to create a power struggle over any of these things.

I agree with your way of doing things. If it were me I would talk to him again... "I know it's really important to you for her to try new foods. What I have noticed is that when she's offered something new she often(?) chooses to try it and decides whether she likes it or not. I don't feel that she is such a choosy eater that we need to force the issue and it's upsetting to me to hear her get so upset over food."

By six (and younger) kids have definite opinions on food choices. And their tastes change... so what she may have liked when she was 2 might not agree with her now. In 6 months what she didn't like today might become her favorite food. She does need to be allowed to decide what she wants to eat and what she doesn't.

What kind of food does your husband detest? I would ask him how he would feel if someone forced him to take a bite of it.

Your husband is wrong. He needs to examine why forcing it is so important to him, because this is abut him, not the kid. Trying to force feed junk like a hot dog and pickle underlines that this is not about her well being, but about his control.

Make it clear that on this topic, you will never back him up so he has to back down.

Forcing a kid to eat is step one in creating an eating disorder. Food becomes the object of a power struggle and everyone loses.

I'm not a picky eater but there are a handful of foods that I absolutely despise, most of them because of texture. For example, I don't like gritty foods, so I don't eat pears or any desserts with that nasty large-grain sugar on top. No how, no way. I'm not touching it. So if my kid feels about green beans the way I do about pears, why should she have to eat even one bite of them?

In a nutshell, I'm with you. Maybe it would help if DH understood that some of kids' pickiness supposedly comes from back in the caveman days when you couldn't be sure if something was toxic or not to eat - so if it tasted bad, you spit it out. Studies have shown too that kids may have a much more sensitive sense of taste than us, which means strong flavors and seasonings are that much more heightened. Sometimes it's more about texture than taste. AND oftentimes, their tastes will mature as they get older - I eat a much greater variety of food and I am a much more adventurous eater as an adult than I ever was as a kid. Even with that said though, there are just some things I have never liked, and it's not the end of the world - pickles being one of them. I will survive just fine not eating pickles.

And really, is it that important that she eats hot dogs or pickles? They are some of the least nutritious foods on the planet, why should she be encouraged to eat them? Does he realize that the more he pushes eating certain foods, the more it's going to possibly traumatize her and turn her off? Maybe she will learn to like more things as she gets older if she is not FORCED to eat them now. I have a friend of mine that is one of the pickiest adults I know - he literally likes 4 things, that's it. He blames his mother, for pretty much forcing things on him at a young age - even at the point of physically stuffing raw tomato or cooked mushrooms into his mouth. Extreme? Yes, but that's what your husband is essentially doing to your daughter mentally and emotionally. While I do agree on presenting a united front and sometimes having to compromise, this IS a hill I think is worth dying on, for your daughter's sake.

Bottom line is, forcing anything food-wise is sure to backfire. Maybe if you've tried talking to him about this, and he refuses to listen, it's time to get a family counselor or the pediatrician involved. Sometimes my husband won't listen to me or believe what I am telling him, but as soon as it is a third-party authority figure telling him the same thing, he's all ears (makes me crazy - grrr!). If you printed out everyone's answers, would he be willing to read them?

Ask your husband to read this article:
http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2011/07/parents-of-pick...

You don't say how much she is expected to eat. If it is just a tiny "no thank you" helping, then back him up and provide a united front. If he is expecting her to eat an entire hot dog, then sit down with him and discuss some compromises (such as making it just a small bite). Agree that before each meal the 2 of you will discuss what and how much she needs to try so that when at the actual table there are no mixed messages to your daughter.

I started out in the camp of no power struggles over food...let my son just try what he wants...he eventually eat a wide variety. Nope! Didn't happen. He won't eat combined foods like soup, stews, casseroles, etc. He won't eat anything with tomato sauce. He won't eat most meats, won't eat potatoes or any cooked vegetables. The list goes on. And when he started going "backwards" and rejected foods he had previously liked, we decided on the "no-thank you" helping policy. Is it a battle some nights? Yep. Does he gag on some foods? Yep. Has he added any foods to his "like" list? A few. But he has learned ways to deal with eating a food where he doesn't like the taste or texture. We let him add what he wants onto it (he can hide it in a tortilla or in applesauce, etc). It took a 100% united front, but the drama level over trying new foods has decreased dramatically.

Learning to eat things you don't like is necessary in many situations so that you do not insult a dinner host or a boss or a client or a significant other. Learning how to gracefully handle a situation like that is very valuable...not to mention that someday they might actually learn to like that food.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has given helpful advice here. I will definitely check with the pediatrician about this issue.

However, forgive me if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that this site was for getting advice/help, etc... I thought it would be non-judgmental. I was not looking for strangers who know nothing about my life to tell me that I have problems in my marriage. Or that I have waited too long to address this issue. Or that you can't believe we're fighting about this. (We are not actually fighting.... it's just an issue we disagree on!) The bottom line is... we are having this issue now and I just wanted some NON-JUDGMENTAL advice from other moms. Please... if you can't just offer some helpful advice, please don't comment.

Aside from involving my daughter's pediatrician (or a family counselor, as one VERY helpful person suggested), does anyone have any advice on how to convince my husband not to try and FORCE her to eat things?

I agree with encouraging trying new foods, but not forcing it.

The thing that drives me crazy is when a kid refuses to eat a food they've never even tasted. How do they know if they like it or if they don't?

Fortunately for me, neither of my kids were picky eaters. In fact, they ate things that I wouldn't eat. I was a fairly strict vegetarian for many, many years, but I cooked meat and things for my children. I also promised them that I would never serve anything that I myself wouldn't eat, like liver and onions, for instance.

Both of my kids were very adventurous eaters. My son will literally try ANYTHING. Snake, alligator, chicken livers and hearts....blecchhhhhhh.
But...."How do you know you don't like it if you don't try it?" really stuck with him.

From the time my kids were super little, when we went to the grocery store, we hit the produce section first. First of all, they learned about different colors and textures. They were allowed to choose ANYTHING they wanted, but the deal was, they had to try it when we got it home. I didn't care if it was a $12 pineapple, if they chose it, they could have it. They were interested in watching me prepare it and helping out, and because it's what they chose, they were interested in trying it. I literally had people coming up to me in the grocery store and asking me if they just really did hear my kids begging for eggplant. Yep. They heard correctly.

To me, it was my way of giving them a learning experience and talking about how things grow. They got to hold their choice in the cart and they weren't allowed to ask for other things while we shopped. They got their choice out of the way first thing so there was no fussing and nagging for the rest of the shopping trip.

There really was a method to my madness. It worked great for us. My kids sampled just about every single thing you can think of. They loved brussel sprouts, broccoli, eggplant, kale, all fresh fruits, dates...you name it. They loved all kinds of things that they never would have experienced if they had refused to try it.

I think your husband is frustrated by your daughter's eating habits. He may have a right to be, but there are better ways than forcing a kid.

I'm 50 years old and there is something about creamed corn that I simply cannot stomach. I love corn, any way but creamed, and my mom tortured me on Halloween one year by telling me I couldn't go trick-or-treating unless I ate all of it on my plate. I tried, I vomitted.

To this day, I will NOT allow a can of creamed corn in my house.

Forcing just doesn't work.
Encouraging does.

Do you have room to plant a small garden? Even a container garden?
Carrots and zucchini are super easy to grow. So are pumpkins. Herb gardens don't require much room. If you can, have your daughter help you to grow some things. Let her pick the seeds.
You can also try my grocery store trick. At least once a week, let her choose something from the produce section with the agreement that she will at least try it. If you're not sure how to prepare something, just ask us.

Just my opinion and best wishes.

We have a two bite rule. I too can be picky and I have to follow the same rule myself. One bite to get over the initial "Of course I will not like it" mind set and the second to actually taste it. Now we do have some mild texture issues and those we do not press due to sensory issues but over all two bites minimum and I do not make it right away - I typically give some time to be ready.

P., force his hand and make him go with you to the ped, without your daughter and hear from the ped's mouth how to deal with your daughter and eating. You just flat out tell the ped in front of your husband what is going on and that you both need to hear from a professional third party what is the right way to handle food and your daughter.

If he refuses to listen to the doctor after this, then you have a bigger problem in your marriage than just the food issue.

Good luck

You are actually arguing about this!!??! I don't think there is anything wrong at all with your husbands expectations. You just don't want to see your daughter gag, and hear her yell "no no no". She's doing that, because she knows you don't want her to try them. For heavens sake, it's just a hot dog and a pickle. We would tell our kids that they had to try one bite. They had to. If they didn't like it, then so be it. But what happens if she tries something, and she likes it? Then she has a whole new food that she loves. How can that be bad? I think if you change your attitude about this, then she will too. My kids don't have eating disorders either.

No quicker way to create a power struggle than over food. She's not a picky eater. Yet. And personally, I can only tolerate canned vegetables, too. They're disgusting. If she's eating healthy foods already, introduce her to new foods and then let it go. Hot dogs are disgusting. Most kids don't like pickles. I think you both need to rethink your approach. But since you've already talked with him and he's not willing to bend, I'm not really sure what you want from responses here. Will he read the responses with you? Will you even shared that you badmouthed him on a public page? I happen to agree that you need to back off of her - insist on one bite each time and then let it go - but what good does that do you here?

I don't know if this will help, but I wrote a post about this a while ago:

http://skyteahouse.blogspot.com/2012/08/monkey-eyes-and-k...

My theory is simply this: for kids who are unfamiliar with new foods, it's a lot like us going to another country and being served monkey eyes. NOT what we were expecting. You can read the whole thing for yourself.

My other two cents is this: most of us have a palate which becomes more sophisticated as we age. Forcing a child to eat something is a *great* way to start kids on having food aversions. I know. I was also forced to eat certain foods--- and threw them up. What's sad is because I wasn't allowed to eat them when *I* was ready, there are a few which I simply cannot eat now. Salad is one of them. They look good. I want to eat salad. I've made it halfway through a salmon fillet+spinach salad, and that is huge progress. I have to take baby steps because my gag reflex gets triggered by lettuce.

If he's willing, try to get him to understand that your daughter is better served by letting her try things when she's ready. Otherwise, prepare for future food battles.

ETA: regarding "How do you know if you don't try it?"... I can look at some foods and tell I am not interested in eating them. I do like Shane's suggestion of growing fresh foods (even in those big black pots) and enjoying them from the garden. This makes the unfamiliar 'mine' in some ways, for some kids.

I suggest you put something "new" on your husband's plate, and force him to eat it.

If this is the only issue for which you are clashing on parenting then please go jump up and down for joy because your child is blessed with an incredibly happy home and fabulous parents, and maybe even acquiesce its so darn insignificant in the grand scheme of raising a little person.
But seriously, I'm assuming you're the primary care taker so you've been through these battles and come to the conclusion that you have. If your husband is anything like mine, he's a gung-ho parent when he gets to be there. So they are slower to learn lessons we learned months ago. For example, I heard my husband give our two -year-old a time out for not taking a bite. Initially I was pissed, even screaming from my bath tub that "WE DON'T GIVE TIME OUTS FOR NOT EATINGGGGGG! But I'm really glad he couldn't hear me. I recall that I had made that mistake once upon a time. I caught myself and realized it was a bad idea. So why can't I let him make some of the same mistakes I've made? Sure, you don't want your kids to have to suffer through more hit and miss parenting. But pause, will it really alter their life beyond repair? If the answer is no, then let your husband make some parenting mistakes.
As for me, I later told my husband, "you know time outs for not eating are a really bad idea because you ultimately can't control food nor do you want it to become an issue of control, and if you want to enter this battle, you will see that you will lose. So I think we should not punish kids who don't eat with time outs. Its really futile. I think its more effective to just let them go to bed hungry. " I gave him my opinion, I was prepared for him to disagree and make this mistake a few more times, but I wan't going to join him.
Also, I think its fair to pull the primary care taker card. "you know honey, I've allready been down this road, and I've concluded that it better to give her the choice to try new things than to force them. I find when I give her the choice she sometimes comes around and tries them. If you want to force it go ahead, but I'm just not going to do that, I think its ineffective and I think it causes her to regress."
I think you'll find that he comes around to your way of seeing things, not because your premonition is more right, but likely you've just had more opportunities to experience what does and does not work for your child. You can choose to be forceful with your feeling that you are correct and he is incorrect, but I encourage you to allow him to make a few parenting mistakes. To allow him to go through the same trouble shooting you've already been through. Like I said before, unless you feel its causing long term damage to your child, it will be better for your marriage if he can do some learning the hard way. And every once in a while, you will find his instincts were better than yours.
So in other words, I don't think its always possible to have a unified front in the sense that you are both on board, but only in the sense that you don't fight about it in front of the child and agree to step a aside and let dad try it his way now and again.
______________
FYI: We "strongly encourage" our kids to try new foods by withholding their treats if they do not. Perhaps you could suggest that as a middle road for the two of you?

Why make such a big deal about it? You're trying to avoid her being upset, and your husband is forcing her to have it on her plate. Both of you are reacting to a child-led power struggle that you don't need to engage in.

I love and suggest eating "family style" with all the food on the table. Don't put food on her plate for her. Pass around each dish and let each member of the family put food on their own plate. Make comments like "everything looks delicious!" or "I can't wait to try that....it's such a pretty color!" When there's something she hasn't tried, say to your husband, "Have you tried this? It's so crunchy/sweet/sour/etc!"

Just have the new foods on the table, and pass them around. Don't say anything about it. She's ask what it is....just tell her. And don't tell her "taste this....it's GOOD!" Be honest about what you like and don't care for and tell her she'll have to decide for herself whether she likes it or not. There are things everyone doesn't like, but they have to decide. Don't offer it, just let it be there. Eat it in front of her. Let her pick what she wants and put it on her own plate.

The thing is, at that age it's all about a child feeling like they have some control. If she feels like she has the same kind of control over her plate as you do, she'll choose to try things herself.

Best!

C. Lee

If the point is for the child to eat, then what's wrong with presenting it in a way that will solicit a favorable response? That doesn't mean that your child rules the roost; it means that you know your child and how to get through to your child. Transition does not always have to hurt. This does not need to be a stressful or negative experience, but your husband is creating just that. I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter decides that she will NEVER eat pickles or hot dogs, based on the experience that her father is creating for her. The point is to make her want to eat it. Some parents get so caught up in showing their kids who's boss that they seem to forget the point of the lesson. Or maybe that IS the lesson.

Also, keep in mind that we tend to have natural aversions to some things for a reason. I never took a liking to milk or bread. It turns out that when I consume either, discomfort immediately follows.

A kid who is forced to eat now may become a tween/teen with an eating disorder. (I was one.) Eating / not eating can become a control issue. To prevent this from becoming a control issue, your husband needs to drop this behavior. Power struggles are a waste of time and energy and can escalate as a child gets older.

Your daughter sounds like a great eater as is. It's probably best to tell your hubby to make food neutral. You can introduce new foods but forcing them is going to backfire and make food a battleground. NOT GOOD!

I believe that a simple introduction as in "want to try?" and a hands-off approach may work better.

If she says no this time, she may come around later.

The choice is hers.

You're more wrong, but his method is also in the wrong.

Picky eaters are created, not born. And you're creating one right now.

You don't know HOW you want to intro new foods? Time's up - she's SIX. She's SIX YEARS OLD AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO INTRODUCE NEW FOODS?????

Get a book. Ask. But DO something.

Once you get going - THEN you can rein in your husband on not making food an issue.

We use to do something called 'no thank you' helpings.
If there was something you didn't like (or never tried before), you still had to take some but it was only like one small spoonful.
You could save eating it till last or, if you ate it first then you could chase it with something you liked.
With one little spoonful, it's not too hard to try things.
For the hot dog, just one little 1/2 inch piece would be enough.

For your husband - serve him foods he dislikes.
My husband would do ANYTHING to avoid liver and onions - but he'd never force anyone to try a bite.
A little bit of empathy on his part should help a lot where your daughter is concerned.

I would also try to find out if she has any allergies or gag reflex problems. My SS has problems with certain foods and if he eats them, he will gag and vomit. He's been told recently it's a medical condition that may be correctable with surgery.

What we do is we encourage DD to eat new foods, we model the behavior for her, but if she truly won't eat brussels sprouts, she can have broccoli, salad or some other vegetable. If she eats a poor dinner in general, then no treats or snacks later.

I think what he's doing is causing a food battle and it's about control, not food. So what makes this so important to him? Control or nutrition? I bet he'll say nutrition (but then why the hot dog?) but it's really control. I wouldn't back him, either. Why won't he try your way? What does he get out of it when she cries and vomits?

ETA: There are a lot of parental hills I don't die on. DH feels more strongly? Sure, go ahead. But this one doesn't sit right with me. I'd tell him that forcing her to eat something to the point of her crying and vomiting isn't introducing new foods, it's abusive, and I will not tolerate it. I would tell him that I am not going to sit back and watch him make our child cry over a hot dog or pickle. It goes against the whole "unified front" thing but if I felt that I'd talked with him already and it was truly not something I could tolerate, I'd pull the momma bear card. If he won't compromise, then I maintain that this is not about food and I bet if you looked you'd find other areas where he is inflexible with her or you.

Wow, if your dd eats all of that, I certainly wouldn't classify her as a picky eater! I'd be thrilled if my dd would eat all of the foods you mentioned.

I told my husband long ago that I was going to pick my battles with my kid and food wasn't going to be one of them. She has to eat two vegetables a day, and other than that, no hard and fast rules. She's small and doesn't weigh much, but that's more her genetics. She's healthy and that's what counts.

Tell your husband that forcing kids to eat certain things only makes them resist it more. Setting a good example with your kids is probably the most powerful. We also sometimes make the "treats" contingent on eating the vegetables.

Bring something new home for him to eat. Say like tripe or some awesome Liver or cow brain. Pretty much how new food looks to your daughter. See how he likes being forced to eat something new he has never had.

We strongly encourage our kids to try new foods, but don't force them. We tell them that they need to try one bite of something new (or even something they've had before but would prefer not to eat, like a particular vegetable). If they don't eat at least one bite, we don't consider it "a good dinner". If you eat a good dinner, you can have whatever you want for snack. If you don't eat a good dinner, you have to eat something from the same food group that you skipped at dinner. So, if you refused to eat any green beans, you have to choose another vegetable to eat for snack (eg, you could have carrot sticks).

In some cases where it's not easy to substitute (like a child suddenly refuses to eat the grilled chicken that's for dinner), then we save the plate for snack, because I don't have easy protein snacks.

That said, we only fight this battle with healthy foods. I would never pick this battle over a hot dog or pickle!

My ex is like that. And like your'e husband, he has no clue about nutrition and tries to make the kids eat things I'd rather they didn't even eat....ugh. I used to keep quiet, then I stood up to him and told him to quit it. I usually don't have to deal with him now since he's hardly ever around. So. I have no good advice, just sympathy. He used to get upset and look to me for back up when he was having trouble forcing them, but I wouldn't back him up. He didn't quit doing it though. Sigh.

You're both wrong. You're giving your daughter way too much control and while she has a decent variety, it's not a wide variety. She needs to be encouraged to try new foods frequently and as her parents it's your job to encourage her to do that. "I know you don't want to taste it, but I expect you to take one/two/three/whatever bites and swallow it. If after this meal you decide you don't like it, you don't have to try it again for a few more months and then I'll prepare it a different way."

Your husband is also wrong for trying to force it AND for trying to force her to eat something as unhealthy and disgusting as hot dogs.

I don't think he'll back down until you show him that you're willing to compromise. And you should for the sake of your daughter. If she has sensory issues/tactile issues that would show up across the board in other areas so that's something to think about... and I bring that up since someone said that "picky eaters are not born they're created." I have a picky eater... she's very, very self-selective on top of some serious food sensitivities and intolerances. NONE OF IT IS BY CHOICE AND NONE OF IT WAS TAUGHT. I have Sensory Processing Disorder to thank for that. If you think that's coming into play, you can research the disorder and see if it fits.

Ask your pediatrician. I'm willing to bet that their attitude is not to fight about food because eating disorders are too easy to fall into. THAT might get him to listen. Opinion is one thing, medical recommendation is something else.

This is a tough one. My son is a texture/sight kid, so if it feels or looks gross we get the ewwww. I do make him try a bite, i refuse to cook a different meal for him. I know what he doesn't like, for instance he can not stand asparagus (hes tried twice) so when we have that i do not put any on his plate.
I know picky eaters are created, my ex husbands mother cooked whatever they "liked" and he would seriously only eat 4 different meals. It stunk.
Maybe you and your hubby can sit down and comprise on a way to handle this. The more you disagree in front of her the more she will notice and then she will see that if she reacts a certain way she won't have to try it because you two will be more focused on bickering over who is right.
Good luck to you and many blessings

Our rule is you have to try one bite. If you absolutely hate it, you can spit it out politely in your napkin. But you have to try it!

My son for the longest time would not eat anything with sauce on it or anything sauce like. This includes spaghetti and chili. I got tired of making him something special , so I made a rule this is what we are having for dinner , eat it , don't eat it your choice , there isn't anything else. he's gone with out dinner many times and finally decided to start eating his spaghetti instead of going hungry. He LOVE spaghetti now. Moral of the story. Eventually they will eat it, but don't let um manipulate you into giving them something else. You eat with family or you don't eat. You can't force her to eat , but you can also not give into it. No dessert , etc, no alternate dinner. And you are wrong on not backing him up. That shows weakness and kids use weakness. Now she knows that mommy doesn't agree with daddy on this so I can use that to my advantage. If a hotdog and pickle were what everyone was having then yes he did the right thing, if everyone else had something else then he did the wrong thing.

I see both your points.
Instead of putting a whole hot dog or baby gerkin on her plate, he should have cut them up and given her small pieces or half to try. Letting her choose which to try is good, she's still in control, but what if she doesn't? Should she lose tv for the night because she wouldn't try a hot dog?

My daughter is 3 and a bit and we both (me and my husband) take the same approach as your husband. My daughter is a pretty good eater as you said yours is but there are things that she claims she doesnt like and wont eat even though she hasnt even tried it. There are a handful of things like rice and mashed potatoes that she gags at and has since she was just starting on food so we dont push things like that on her because obviously its a texture thing but for her to state that she doesnt like something when she hasnt tried it is nuts to me. Im not suggesting that she eats a whole meal of something she doesnt like and we very much cater to her likings but when we ask her to try a bite we both feel that she should 'try' the new food. Just my opinion but Im with your husband on this one, sorry
Good Luck