Difficulties in My 5 Year Old Daughter

okay, I'm going to say it. Sometimes you just cant get it out without the help of a digit! I HATE those days where it seems like you can blow and blow and nothing happens, but you still have that thing up in there. It's stuck. It wont budge. You HAVE to get it out before it drives you crazy!
I teach my girls that blowing your nose is the proper way to handle it when they are around others. If it is a 'critter' that wont come out, to either excuse themselves to 'take care of it' in the restroom or deal with it until they can be alone with a tissue and a sink with soap for 'after'.
You tear ducts are connected to your sinus caveties. Thats why your nose runs when you cry. There could be a connection with her eye rubbing/nose trouble.
If something were constantly bothering me I would be frustrated and irritable too. Check with pediatrition and see if she may need someone to look at her tear ducts/sinuses for infections or irritants or just something wrong.
Good luck!

Maybe she's kind of dry - which would cause her nose to get dried out (dry boogies are itchy). Push fluids - give her a cool water bottle (or let her pick one out) and with alot of fluids her nose, eyes and skin would be less dry. When my daughter was in 3rd grade she used to lick the palms of her hands. It was gross. I tried using antipacterial gel to give it a bitter taste - but she'd go to the sink and rinse it off. Eventually I figured out that her hands just felt really dry - so we tried a few different moisturizers until she found one she liked (Mary Kay - go figure) and she was cured.

As for the temper - kids use whatever works. Subconsciously they begin to realize cuase & effect and if a behavior gets her waht she wants (attention, a treat, a food, etc.) she'll use that behavior more and more. My daughter was also one to have these huge meltdowns over stupid minor stuff. I begn to jsut pick her up and move her to the side (of the room, into her bed room, whatever) and ignored the temper tantrum. If we were in public we'd just leave and go sit in the car. I'd read something or clean out my pocketbook while she raged in teh back seat, or her bedroom, or the hall outside the kitchen. If she moved herself into the middle of the room whre I was I'd move to a different room. I didn't get upset, I didn't scold - I just ignored. After a number of episodes (5 maybe?) she began to realize she wasn't getting what she wanted. It stopped. She's now 16 and we have had some skirmishes over the years since then. Age 14 was really tough for us (first year of high school) but we kept doing the same thing - encouraged the positive and ignored the negative (when appropriate - soemthings required consequences like losing priviledges).

As it regards the temper - she needs to understand that you and dad are the boss - not her. She needs to know that even if she can't control herself that you can. Calmness and ignoring negative behavior seem to work best. STaying calm is best - but not easiest - that's for sure!

Good l uck mama - this parenting stuff is so much harder than I ever realized!!!

She's using her finger like a person uses a plunger on a clogged drain. She's got buggers up there and it's likely she needs something to moisten them so she can get them out. That's something YOU need to address. If you see her picking it then use some saline spray for the sinuses and get her goo saturated so it will come out easier.

It truly sounds like she's dehydrated to me. If she's dry in her sinuses and her eyes are dry too she may just need to wash her face more often to get rid of allergens and then use some items to moisten these mucus membranes.

Does she have allergies? If her nose & sinuses are bothering her, maybe you should have her checked for allergies.

Also, do you use a humidifier in her bedroom? Maybe her nose/sinuses are too dry, thus she wants to pick.

Some amount of picking is very normal. If she is obsessing about it, I would look for an underlying medical reason.

It sounds like there could be one of two things going on.

1. She could have a medical condition where her mucus membranes don't retain enough moisture. Hence, the inside of her nose and tissue around her eyes is going to get very irritated.

2. It could be something psychological or neurological in origin. Sensory processing disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder both come to mind. (And for many people, this is a dual diagnosis.)

Either of these possibilities will make a child irritable, and irritable kids have tempers.

I would take her to the pediatrician and try to rule out the mucus membrane thing first. If that gets eliminated, try talking to a developmental psychiatrist.

And -- importantly -- all of the conditions I've listed have at least a chance of being treatable. I hope that diagnostic language didn't sound scary. Really, it's the first step on a journey toward a solution (or at least a partial resolution.)

We're in the process of diagnosing my son (5) with Adhd or Tourette's or maybe something else. He flicks his fingers and has a hard time falling asleep among other things. We haven't been to a specialist yet. Could be worth looking into with your daughter.

I, too, suggest that there is a physical reason for her doing this. It sounds like her nose and eyes are dry and irritated. She is trying to get the "buggers" out or her nose is dry and itches. I have this difficulty. I use a personal lubricant to keep my nose moist. Before I learned about using the personal lubricant I used petroleum jelly. That works too.

I'd try using eye drops, not the ones that get the red out, to stop the itching.

And I also suggest having her go to a private place to dig those "buggers" stuck inside out.

Sympathize with her. Help her get comfortable. Don't nag. Don't get upset. Spend time with her helping her so that you can learn what's causing her to do this.