My sister is attending a wedding ceremony and reception at a floral shoppe in a large metro area. The reception is cocktails and hors dourves only. The bride is a childhood friend of her adult children. Would you adjust your wedding gift value based on the venue and menu?
You guys rock! It's nice to get the perspective of others for a well needed reality check. I'm going to direct my sister to this post.
No. I would not.
Sounds like they chose to focus on the marriage and let people to come and start it off right instead of spending $50K on a bunch of "fluff".
Absulutly not! I buy the gift based on how I feel about the person, not where they are getting married or what kind of reception they are having. Who am I to judge where they get married or what they are serving at the reception. And I don't penalize them because I chose to travel to their wedding either. This is their special day they should not be judged, just loved.
no because to do that means your paying for what you think she is spending on you. You give what you can. Not everyone can give a big lavish party. Those who can could probably afford to have the big lavish wedding and don't need the wedding gift. Those who can't need it more. Give what is in your budget. no more no less
How nice there is still a couple who doesnt feel this stupid need to keep up with the outrages prices for a wedding! Showing off a $10,000 dress and spending $50,000 on the whole splashy venue and cake is really horrible and its nice to hear of someone doing it sweet and simple and not caving to the pressure of all the spoiled rich couples who probably get divorced before they pay off the wedding anyway! Id give them a really nice gift! (carefully stepping off my little soapbox now) (o;
Wow. That's like saying that a kid who has a party at the park should get "lesser" gifts because the party is not at a "venue" where it costs a week's pay to have a party.
Last time I checked, you went to a wedding because you wanted to celebrate, not keep track of money.
No. You give a gift from your heart. Does your heart change based on the venue and menu?
No. I would not. Gifts are supposed to be from the heart. Not on how much money they spent on the wedding.
Of course not. WOW
Is this what is your sister thinking? "Hmm, since they are not spending $XX amount on me and spending a lesser $X amount instead, I will go cheaper with my gift because they went through a cheaper venue and din't spend $XXX on me" How judgemental is that???? GEES. Maybe your sister should politely decline and send a card. I don't go to weddings expecting a dinner or entertainment based on the value of my gift.
I applaud the couple for keeping their spending within their means and not going into debt with a wedding. Who cares where the wedding is held, my gift would be what I would normally spend on a wedding gift based on how well I know the couple... even if I travel to the wedding. I am not going to go cheaper because I had to travel either.
(..helping K's Mom down off that soapbox while applauding!)
It sounds like this couple might want to celebrate the marriage and not throw a huge free-for-all with funds that could be spent elsewhere!
(and maybe they are paying for it themselves??
No. That seems very presumptuous and judgemental, since it's only *your* opinion this is somehow not a classy venue.
For all you know, this floral shop has some sort of significance to this couple, or the place may be extremely beautiful and have a unique layout. Most important, to this couple, this is probably as elegant as any 5-star hotel, country club, or estate. They chose it as their venue, and in the years to come, floral shop or not, this place will be special to them.
So no, do not buy them a cheap gift because of the venue of the wedding. Buy them a nice gift because you want to wish them well and give them something special to commemorate their special day, or you want them to have something useful to warm their new home together. It's the right and fair thing to do.
I adjust the gift value. I had a friend get married and we had to fly from DC to FL, stay for 5 days, my husband was in the wedding, so he had to pay for tux and golf outing while there. In that case we gave a smaller gift. We have a friend getting married next month and it won't cost us any extra to go as we are just guests, so we will give a larger gift.
I would gift based on what you are comforatble spending just as I would for any wedding.
I think having the event at a floral shop is a great idea. I love the smell and look of a really nice flower shop and they will save tons of money fresh flowers as well as the venue.
So many couples spend money THEY DO NOT HAVE on an expensive wedding that puts them in debt and will burden their marriage. In my opinion the only things that really matter at a wedding are the feelings of love and family. I have been to very high-end weddings that lacked that feeling and I've been to simple ceremonies by the ocean that were so romantic and joyous it made me cry.
One other final thought is maybe this couple would truly appreciate a gift for thier new home becuase they need it. Since they seem smart and practical buy them something useful for their home and spend the same amount of money you would on any other wedding gift. Don't penalize them because they didn't spend enough money on you, it's not about you!
I usually don't read the other answers before replying. I'm not sure why I did this time. However, while I do understand the point of view of the other mamas, my answer would be yes.
My feeling is that you base the dollar value of your wedding gift on your own personal budget and your relationship to the bride or groom, not the expense of the wedding.
I'm curious (and I mean this sincerely) as to how the venue or ceremony has ANY bearing on the gift value you give them?
I personally give money or what ever is on their registry within my budget. regardless of location or reception details.
Who does this??
