Did Any of You End up Getting the House?

I used to work as a paralegal for mostly family and real estate law. Here's a few pointers on "how it generally works"...
1) Yes, don't ever leave the house. You won't get back in.
2) The idea of keeping the same house for the sake of the kid's stability is a good one that the judges will follow but only if it makes feasible economic sense to do so.

If your husband makes a whole lot of money and is able to maintain two households without a problem, it may happen. I generally only saw this happening where the husband made way in the upper six figures and the kids were older (already established in school)

If your husband doesn't make enough money to really support two households, it probably won't happen. Generally, the house is sold with the proceeds split to start over.

Getting lifetime maintenance (formerly alimony) (which is pretty much what him paying for the house is) is near impossible, again, unless your husband makes a ton of money and you were married forever and don't have any skills. Younger people who just didn't work are pretty much expected to find meaningful employment and then daycare costs come into play unfortunately.

My honest advice is to stay in the house as long as possible, but don't "fight" for a house that you can't afford yourself if your husband really doesn't make enough money to support two households. You'll end up wasting more money on lawyers than you can imagine. Be realistic in your expectations of what your husband can and can not provide. In other words, he isn't expected to move into a $400/month studio apartment just so he can pay for the house forever. He is supposed to be able to afford the same type of house (think that your children will have to stay in his residence also) as well as your old one.

In reading this back it sounds a little negative and I meant this to be helpful and not meant to be harsh or insulting in any way... sorry if it comes across like that and now I've got a jillion things to do and can't figure out how to quickly fix it. These are just generalizations...if you want to pm me, I might be able to help more with knowing more about your actual situation. I worked for a bunch of divorce attorneys, from the regular suburban ones to the high powered loop ones and have pretty much seen it all!

I have a family law attorney I can put you in touch with. He will talk to you on the phone quickly to give you some advice. Let me know if you want his number.

Also, make sure this is what you want. Divorce is hard for everyone: you, him, the kids, extended family. You love him once what happened? If there is a way to work it out I highly suggest it for all involved. If you absolutely can't work it out or you are in a dangerous situation then get out. I say this only because everyone has hard times and you want to be able to say to your children "We tried everything in our power to work it out but we couldn't."

I am married 20 years! Some good, some great, some pretty miserable but I am glad we are still working things out. Good Luck!

My brother just got divirced. His ex wife and kids are in the house, AND he is paying for the mortage. She is responsible for all the other bills, except the mortage. My friend is also staying in the house while her ex pays the mortage.

Do not move out of the house!
I did at the advice of my attorney, went back to the lawyer (same lawyer who told me to leave) and he said I couldn't have my house back. My two children and I then went to an apartment. The lawyers said that we would be unable to pay the mortgage which turned into less of a payment than the apartment we had to get. We eventually moved into a house again. Not the same however and it can be devestating for kids. I don't hear of anyone getting the ex to pay for the house unless there is a stipulation that you pay until the children are eighteen.Or you have a temporary order until your court date resolves the issue. You'd have to pay your share on that one. Now you might have assets which would provide for you. I'd start looking around the file cabinets now. Please be very careful about what you do. Even if the man you separate from is wonderful most of the time people get nasty sometimes in separations.

I got the house, however he is no longer responsible for payments on it. I am working on requesting a loan modificationso that the child support payments will cover the bulk of the mortgage payment because as of right now they only cover half and I don't have extra income to cover the difference.