Diamond Debate

HELL YES I'D WEAR IT. Why not!? You only live once, I say go for it. Worst that's going to happen is a stone falls out or you lose it or someone steals it, and then what? That's no worse than it sitting in a safe! Either you wear them or let her, but that's a waste of beauty to hoard it away where no one can see it and appreciate them.

I wouldn't wear a diamond at all - I hate them.
But in light of the overarching question, yes, I would wear an expensive piece of jewelry if I liked it. Jewelry is meant to me worn, not locked away and never seen.

7k is not that big of an amount for a diamond ring... I've been wearing mine everyday for the past 10 years (worth more than 7k) and I've never had a problem, none of my friends have ever had issues either...
I would take them out of the safe and wear them. That's just me~

Sorry, $15,000 isn't that much for a piece of diamond jewelry. Certainly nowhere near Liz Taylor territory. I would (and do) wear jewelry worth more than that. If you think it's irresponsible, then give them to your cousin so she can put them back in your grandmother's wedding ring. She's right, the sentimental value is worth far more. I have my grandmother's wedding ring and I wouldn't in a million years think of selling it. And, clearly, your grandmother really wanted your cousin to have it, not your mother. Personally, I think it's a crime to break the ring apart like that.

ETA: I just saw that you added in that little sentence about your other 6 cousins. Their opinion of what she got is irrelevant. And, it makes it seem all the more interesting that your grandmother chose to will the ring to that one cousin. Again, she clearly wanted her to have it and only broke up the stones because your mother asked for them. To me, it sounds like your cousin coveted the ring itself, for it's sentimental value and to wear, not for it's monetary value. I presume that your mother is now gone and that's why you have the stones.

Being worth $15,000, does not mean it would retail $15,000. In reality, diamonds are rarely an investment. They are like any other collectible. I might have a chair that is technically worth $20,000, but I have to work my butt off to find the one collector who wants this specific chair. The cut of the diamond does NOT matter, unless you find a collector who wants that exact cut. Cuts do not make the diamond valuable, unless the cut has value to a specific person. You are NOT sitting on $15,000. Collectors will not pay full value for anything.

I think your mom got into the mix, and totally manipulated your grandmother. Your grandmother wanted the cousin to have the ring. How do you even have the diamonds, they aren't willed to you...?? YOU can't refuse the stones to anyone, they aren't even yours!! Not your "investment" to make, not yours to stow away "in case." Anyway, I think the ring should be the cousin's. Stones and all. It's what your grandmother wanted, and her ORIGINAL (before your mother used her) wishes should be honored. I'm sorry for your grandmother, that your mother took advantage, and squashed her last desired. That's horribly selfish. For the record, I do believe YOU are being selfish. The rings were not willed to YOU, and you are stowing them away in a safe, in case YOU need them. How is that not selfish? Your grandmother didn't even want you to have them!!!

ETA: Am I missing something, here? People keep saying how they are yours, and you can do what you want with them. They weren't willed to you, correct?

Yes, I would wear it. What a waste IMO that the diamonds are sitting in a safe. I am sure your grandmother did not intend for this to happen. I would think she would have wanted someone to be enjoying wearing them. This story makes me sad.

Edit: I would be mad and upset if the diamonds were sold. I am not particularly sentimental but they are a family heirloom.

Yes of course I would wear it. And FWIW, I think it's stupid that the diamonds and the ring are not together. The diamonds, I'm guessing, are the most valuable part of the ring. It's a shame that you are ruining a beautiful piece of heirloom jewelry over some proprietary sense of investment and entitlement to the very stones that are supposed to go in it. What a waste to keep those beautiful jewels locked away out of fear. If you were really afraid if theft, you could buy an insurance policy for the diamonds or the whole ring.

If wearing large diamonds isn't to your taste, you should let your cousin have them. Perhaps draw up some kind of contract that states that you still retain ownership of the actual stones but are letting her wear them with the ring, that you can take them back in the future, and that she is responsible for insuring them against theft, loss, damage etc.

Beautiful jewelry should not be hoarded and left in a safe - it should be worn.

An in the scale if diamond jewelry, $15K is not an outrageous amount.

Why don't you offer to sell your cousin the diamonds instead of a pawn shop or something. Just because a diamond is valued at 7,000 for insurance purposes doesn't mean you could actually get that if you sold them. I have a diamond in my wedding setting that is appraised at 6,000 if I were to sell it to a reputable jeweler, not even a pawn shop, I would only get 1,000 for it, ya know?

So find out what someone would actually pay for the diamonds and sell them to her. Win win

Okay, the way they are cut doesn't make them more valuable unless you find the right buyer. The ring I spoke of is my mom's old engagement ring. I can't remember what they call the cut but it is not how they cut them these days as is all the diamonds I inherited from my grandma. They hold no more value than any other diamond unless you find a buyer that likes that cut and is willing to pay for it. You may want to stop looking at it as an investment because it is not.

Yes I would wear an expensive ring. I know many people who wear wedding and other rings that are even more expensive and rare.

The diamonds left to you are sitting in a safe doing nothing. Your cousin would like to wear the ring intact and you don't want to wear the ring.

Suggestions:

Loan the diamonds to your cousin with the provision that she insures the diamonds (incase of loss) and makes you (or in case of your death, your daughter) the beneficiary of the policy.

Sell the diamonds to your cousin and let her make small payments and still have an insurance policy with the provision after the diamonds are paid off, she can change the beneficiary to the person of her choice.

Give the diamonds to your cousin with the provision (in an irrevocable will that upon her death the ring goes to you or the person of your choice)

Share custody of the intact ring 50 - 50...in a formal written agreement.

Beautiful things should be used, displayed, loved and passed on to family members who will appreciate them. I have my Grandmother's china and I use it every day...not always the big pieces, unless I'm having a formal dinner, but the salad plates, cups, saucers...all the time. They are beautiful and remind me of her...she was a great lady!

Blessings.

Your mom wanted the diamonds from the ring so she would have part of the ring too and your grandmother felt guilty so complied.

Nobody is going to rip a ring off of your finger.

Get the diamonds insured and then have them set into a ring b/c you can't take them with you. IT may seem like a lot of money but thats actually kind of the going rate for diamond rings. Just let yourself enjoy them like your grandmother did.

What is the use of having 2 diamonds if they are in a box?
Is your mother still living? what would she like to do? I know my mom would want the money so she could travel.

"Again, PERSONALLY I would never wear a ring that valuable"

Since you have said the above.. Sell them to cousin.

You can get them appraised and see who will offer to buy them, but I promise, NO ONE is going to pay you $7000. per diamond. Jewelers purchase them wholesale.. An individual with lots of money will only purchase through a trusted jeweler.

Take the money and be as practical as you like with the money.

Yes, I would wear a ring work $15K, in fact I do everyday. My husband gave me a beautiful engagement ring worth well over $15K and I never take it off. Jewelery is made to be worn.

As an aside, smaller diamonds are not ideal investment vehicles because scarcity is artificially maintained by the mining conglomerates. There is also the difficulty of resale. I'm not sure where you would find someone who would actually pay you $7,000 per stone.

This was your great-grandmothers ring, I'm guessing she would rather have you or someone in your family wearing it and remembering her when looking at it than locking it up. IMH, this is a family heirloom, the value of comes more from the memories attached than an appraisal.

I've never worn a ring worth over $100, including my wedding ring which cost a little less than $100 - no stone, just a very prettily designed gold band.

But, if I had two diamonds from my grandmother, I would take them to a jeweler and have them set in some type of jewelry so that I could wear them for special occasions, and hand them down to my daughter eventually. I would never sell them.

The sentimental value of these diamonds would be worth much more to me than the $$ value. The only thing I have from my grandmother is a small metal tea pot that she would make tea for us in when we were kids. My grandparents and parents had very few material possessions.

About your cousin - she was willed a ring with two missing stones. This is not your problem no matter how much she makes it out to be. But, I can see how the "lock them away in a safe" approach may be adding to her frustration. She also has the option of resetting the stones she received into a nice new setting that she can wear.

Yes.... And insure it too

I'm not quite sure why you posted other than to see what others might say, but it clearly wouldn't change your opinion. It's totally your prerogative whether to keep the diamonds, wear them, or put them in a vault.

I'm saying that on the assumption that they were willed to you or given to you by your mom, who owned them after your grandmother.

Here's a thought, though it isn't intended to influence you. By agreeing to will the two stones right out of the ring, your grandmother unknowingly destroyed what could have been an extremely valuable piece of jewelry -- worth far, far more intact in its original state than it is now either as a ring without the two stones, and worth more than your $14,000 worth of diamonds. Do you ever watch the TV show "Antiques Roadshow" on PBS? The key rule there: Never take apart or alter things. The whole would have been of much greater value than the separated diamonds and the ring are individually. Probably your cousin knows that. Even removed and then reset, the original diamonds would be worth more than their $14,000 when back in their original setting.

As for wearing jewelry: My brother is a jeweler and has been for ages. He always says: It's only rock and metal. Values go up and down. Jewelry isn't an investment, it's an emotional statement. All that matters is the associations you have with it. Did grandma wear that wedding ring every single day of her life after she was married? If so, it's a pity it was broken up for the value of the stones in it, rather than kept whole for the value of its associations with your grandmother. If it actually was not a piece she wore all the time (maybe she, too, felt it was nice but "too nice to wear") and no one had particular attachment to it as a memento of your grandmother, then whatever arrangements she made were hers to choose.

Sounds like you and your cousin are not that close, if this could come between you ---? I would not have ever told the cousin that you plan to sell the diamonds as an investment. That's too much information. They're yours, the ring is hers, and it was the earlier generation that made it that way -- not you and not your cousin! But I'd stop talking about this at all and change the subject if she brings it up. Plenty of jewelers like my brother would be delighted to find her some stones or reset the entire ring with new ones. She can do that and you can both stop discussiing it.

I haven't read the other responses, so sorry if I repeat. I think rings are for wearing, valuable or not - especially rings with strong sentimental value. I find it a shame that your grandmother's wedding ring was split up in this fashion, and if I were in the same situation I would feel a great compulsion to return the diamonds to their rightful place.

No offense, but $15k isn't that expensive for a ring. I work as an insurance appraiser and we don't even blink an eye at that. Walk around NYC and no one would notice a 2 carat ring (about $20). Mine is a little more expensive than that and I wear it all the time, no one thinks it's outlandish or anything and it doesn't look gaudy. Just get it insured and you won't have anything to worry about....you guys are making too big a deal of this, if she left them to you, they are yours. If you don't feel comfortable with them, sell them and invest the money. Why should you have to give her your diamonds, she can buy new ones.

Hmm... the diamond in my engagement is worth more than that, and I wear it daily (and no, it's not a gigantic diamond, but it has very good cut, color and clarity). Of course it's also insured, so if it ever were lost or stolen, it would only be an emotional loss rather than a financial loss also.

In my opinion, if you have something so durable and beautiful, why not have the diamonds set into a ring and actually wear them? It seems a shame to have them sitting in your safe collecting dust. I'm sure that your grandmother never went a day in her life without wearing them, and looking down at her hand and smiling, remembering her wedding day. I do, anyway. To me, leaving them in your safe is kind of like having a nice set of china and then never serving a meal on it because you're afraid of breaking it, right? Go get insurance on the diamonds, and then make use of them! Or if you will never do so, sell them to your cousin at the low end of their market value, so she can wear them. Keeping a family heirloom with the intent to sell it off seems sort of sad to me. Just my opinion.

the diamonds are not yours...so I don't know why this is an issue with you...let alone why you have them...

Are you taking joy over the fact that you have that much tentative money stashed away...and that you have it and the rest of the family doesn't?

I think what really needs to happen is the diamonds need to go back to their rightful owner (your mom) and if you mom passed away then they need to be opened up to the family and if need be... sold and the money divided amongst everyone.

Yes, I would wear a ring that expensive in a heartbeat. I would take the diamonds to a trusted jeweler and have them made into a ring. Personally, I think you're being silly about the cost. What about the emotional value of the ring/diamonds. Do only see cash value and not that your grandma wore these stones? It would be like wearing a piece of her daily. I have my grandmother's diamond wedding ring and I wear it all the time. But I don't wear it to show off - I wear it because it makes me feel like my grandma is still with me.

I wouldn't keep them tucked away for a rainy day. I don't think your cousin is out of line for asking for the diamonds, per se. I think she should offer to buy them from you because you aren't using them. But if you don't want to sell them, don't. But I you should do something with them. Are they identical? Can you have them made into earrings?

I don't think it's selfish or irresponsible. If the diamonds and the ring are insured then what is the problem? If this person has a history of being negligent with her belongings then maybe I'd be concerned but why keep it in a safe when someone could be wearing it!!!

I wear my ring all day every day doing whatever it is I need to do and have never had an issue with someone trying to steal it or losing any part of it. I think you are being a little selfish with the situation. If she wants to wear it, let her. They are doing no good in that safe. Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't make it wrong.

Okay, let me just add that I reread the question again and I will take back the part about you being selfish, sorry. Those two diamonds are technically yours so it's okay that you don't want to give them to her, but I still don't think it's wrong or dangerous to wear a ring of that size, but since the ring was technically broken up, which is weird, then she'll have to get replacement diamonds to wear the ring since she has her part of the ring.

I wear the engagement ring my husband gave me - it's a near flawless diamond set in platinum. It's worth a lot of $, but it's worth more to me - and I want to enjoy it. I've never been anywhere where people's fingers are regularly cut off to get their rings...few people are going to look at it and know what it's worth anyway.

I'd hate to think people I loved would fight over this ring when I was gone. But I wouldn't give someone the diamond and someone else the plantinum band. What did your grandmother intend, do you think? I'd try to honor that. If her intent was to look after you financially...or for you to have the diamonds...or what?

This is hard, because it's an odd choice she made. I understand why your cousin wants the diamonds. To her, it probably seems as if you aren't enjoying them. But they are yours, so it's your choice.

good luck!

Yes. Absolutely I'd wear them, and have worn jewelry worth that and more.

Insurance.

Jewelry is for wearing, and responsible people get expensive jewelry insured. (Even if the jewelry sits in a safe most of the time.) That means if somebody robs you, you're covered for the money. The real loss is the sentimental value.

Since your diamonds came to you by proper legal means, I don't think your cousin has any right to ask that you GIVE them to her. However, since you have no use for them other than financial, you could offer to sell them to your cousin at fair market resale value (probably less than $15k). If she declines that offer, then she has no one to blame but herself.

Why have nice, pretty jewelry if not to wear it? 7,000 isn't exactly extreme when it comes to diamonds. My engagement and wedding rings are appraised over that and I wear them every day. I live in an area where I see 40k + rings every day. Also appraisal value does not equal resale value. If the diamond is appraised at 7k, I'd be surprised if you could sell it for 2k. Honestly there's no point to two loose diamonds just sitting in a box. I don't quite understand why your mother asked for them to be separated from the ring to begin with.

If the diamonds are your moms, and not your cousins, why is this even a discussion, unless I'm missing something?

Also, like some others have said, every day I wear over 7k in diamonds and have not thought twice about it. The only time my rings have been off my fingers was when hubs and I went to Mexico, then I wore fake ones for obvious reasons.

I would just put an end to the family drama. Everyone was willed what grandma wanted them to have and that's the end of it. If you bring it up to all the other cousins, then you are the one with a problem. Pick your battles and let it go. If your cousin needs diamonds for grandmas ring, she can buy them herself. Good luck.

well they were willed to ur mom so they are hers...ur cousin is just out of luck. would i personally wear a ring worth that much....hmmmm. not every day, and i dont really have any special occassions, because id be scared id lose it. my ex flushed my 4000 diamond ring down my toilet and it sits somewhere in my septic field....had the tank sucked out but it was like finding a needles in a haystack so u are right to worry what could happen...but they are urs now? so i like you would save them...

Don't the diamonds acutally belong to your mother? So why would you give them to your cousin or why would you sell them if they are not really yours?

I'm sorry, but I am confused. Your grandmother willed them to your MOTHER, and you are holding them in your safe for her, right? They do not belong to you, right, so you wouldn't have the right to give them to your cousin, even if you wanted to.

Your cousin can get her own diamonds to put in the ring if it makes that big of a difference to her. I know diamonds aren't cheap, so perhaps she can get some simluated diamonds for now.

(I misread the question, so totally changed my first reply.)

You should do what your Grandmother wanted.

My opinion is that the diamonds are yours and your cousin is a rude boor to keep going on an on about this after a decade of you telling her 'NO'

My wedding rings cost about $9,000 together:) so yea I would wear it.

Your cousin can have cubic zirconia stones put into the ring. There are high quality stones that are so good one would have difficulty telling the difference.

I have a friend with a large diamond engagement ring and she didn't wear the ring everyday. Instead she had a ring set with cubic zirconia stones for everyday wear.

I think I'd lock the ring up in a safe and have a similar ring made with cubic zirconia to wear everyday.

The stones belong to you. Why would you give them to someone else? Can she afford to buy them? You could sell them to her and then invest the money in something else, perhaps diamonds that don't have a sentimental value.

If I were willed a complete ring and had it checked to see if it was secure, Then yes i would wear it. I would never choose to spend that much on jewlery, but being gifted it I would wear it for special occasions and treasure it every time i put it on.

I wouldn't give the diamonds to your cousin, as they are yours now and you own them.

Is she offering to buy them from you? If so you could just as easily buy some gold and stick that in your safe for a rainy day.

but in my opinion it is very very odd for your grandmother to have given her something .........I can't find the right word, defective, broken, damaged, unusable......... that still isn't right, but a ring with the big ones removed seems like a crappy gift. I suppose she could get new diamonds set to replace the big ones, but that's money and work for her. plus it reinforces the sentiment that Grandma didn't want her to have the original diamonds the sentimental diamonds.

Does she think you are an idiot and will just hand them over?

lol, i love the suggestion to ask for the ring. Actually yes do that!!!

edited: hmmm now i have to ask hubby how much my ring is worth maybe i'm walking around with more than i think on my finger.

I think the answers you get would vary greatly if we knew your "overarching" LOL finanical picture. if you grew up poor or maybe are having a hard time right now people might view your question differently, I also wonder about the cousin and what her financial picture is. I think she has some big ones to be ordering you to "give" her the diamonds. just saying.

ANyhow i maintain that they are yours you do with them what makes you happy for some that is knowing there is something put aside for a rainy day.

Is your own mother dead? Is that why you have the stones in your possession now?
Either way, just get them set in something and enjoy them. If they are yours now (through your mother) then they are yours to do as you wish with. Some here think you are being selfish, but I don't see it that way. Your cousin certainly had a right to inquire about them, but you said no, and you shouldn't have to feel bad about keeping what was given to you. Likely, she wants them for the money too, so you're both going after them for the same reason anyway. Get them insured, though. My diamond fell out of my setting 4 years ago, and we didn't have it insured, and well, that was that. So don't make that mistake.

My engagement ring, solitaire, is a rare cut and is appraised well over $15,000 ($15,000 is not that much anymore) and I wear it daily and guess what.... I am responsible and I've been wearing it over 20 yrs.

I am insured on a special jewelry rider for my diamond, earrings and gold Rolex to the tune of about an extra $1000 per year.

I'm not really worried about someone trying to jump me for my jewelry. I just don't live in fear of the unknown.

If you go to sell them you will not get near their worth. Also, make sure your safe is the good kind that is bolted to the floor and will never be moved.

We also collect numismatics and our safe is very large but in a concealed area of the house secured to the foundation. It will never move.

You could offer to sell them to her (if they are yours to sell: where's your mom?) since it doesn't seem to hold much emotional value to you. That's how things work at least in our family: if someone wants the family home, and it's part of an estate being divided among 3 children, then the house is to be assessed and then the one that wants it can buy it from the other 2 (the total value minus their own 1/3 of the inheritance). It's pretty simple. But no, if you don't choose to sell them for some reason, there's nothing she can do. If it was just a stone and I didn't feel attached to it, I'd sell it to the person with the rest of the ring. It's weird and sad to me that it'd be broken apart but that doesn't mean you "have to".

I'm confused about why you're asking about diamonds that aren't technically yours. If anything, your cousin needs to ask your mom for them, and your mom should technically have possession of them. You really have no rights over them, according to, well, you ;-p.

I don't blame you for not wanting to wear the diamonds in any jewelry, though. Not everyone is a fan of flashy, showy, "look at me" jewelry. I wouldn't be comfy wearing it, either. Plus, their value is highly over rated, as is their rareness.

I think telling her if she wants to buy the diamonds outright that you'd sell them to her for less. Not much but still, the ring was a set of matching stones. I would have them set in a piece of jewelry of some sort. Something pretty that is only worn once in a while.

Obviously the ring is worthless without them. She can't match the stones and anything she puts in it would look nasty next to the nicer ones.

Well, you are both greedy. (But that's okay.) Your grandmother wanted it this way, so you have a pass for the "greedy" word here.

Stop talking about it with your cousin. Tell her that the diamonds your grandma gave you are your business and no one else's.

I have to say that if you let your cousin anywhere near these diamonds, you'll never see them again (except maybe in court). Then again, she may tell the judge you made the whole story up. Do NOT give her those diamonds, period.

(And to your question, no, I wouldn't wear a $15,000 ring - but then again, I would have sold the diamonds already and put the money towards my kids' college educations...)

Dawn

My engagement ring is worth quite a bit more than $7K and I've never taken it off except to clean it. How is it "irresponsible" to wear my diamonds? I also wear my wedding band, which has a channel setting of diamonds and I wear my anniversary band, which has some diamonds as well. I probably have $15K on my left hand.

If I were your mother, who owns the two diamonds in question, I would set those diamonds in a new and unique ring or necklace or earrings to honor her own mother.

No I wouldn't.
I had a gun shoved against my head and the beautiful wedding rings my husband gave me ripped off my finger.

your cousin should get over it already. i know she is probably perplexed and hurt over her inheritance being dismantled (i would be, i'll be honest) but it was what grandma wanted so...

12 years later, it's over.

I wouldn't have told her that I may consider selling them. I would think pretty much in the same way you do, but I just would have never voiced it. It is none of her business what you plan to do with them. Now that she knows, tell her that if you ever have to part with them because you need some money, you will give her first shot at them for fair market value and that is the only way you would part with them. Until then tell her she can put what ever stones in the setting that she chooses. If she decides she doesn't want to wear the ring that is her decision and that is not of your concern.