I've been having trouble communicating with my OB (I'm pregnant). I don't really let him do his job as he (and I) would like, and the reason is I'm terrified, I was raped a while ago, and for some reason I can't even talk to him, I don't know why, and what to do. Also I didnt have this feeling with my previous doctor, and this doctor is really not bad, he is really patient with me and I feel like he is a good doctor, only I can't stop from freaking out. Should I tell him I was raped, no one, except my husband not even my parents know about this. What do I do?
Thank you moms, for all the support, and suggestions!!!
Unfortunately I don't feel like I could go to a support group or really talk in detail about my experience. but I do have some good news. So my husband and I talked to my OB, and he was really cool about it, he suggested a female doctor, and also a nurse is always present at the appointment. The good thing is he is now calmly talking me through everything that he is doing, and the nurse (who is really nice) was there holding my hand, and we agreed to have my husband with us as well, after I talked to him I felt way better and although it was a bit awkward, I think I can stay with him. We still gave it kind of a trial period and we'll see what happens.
I really think you should tell him. If it's too difficult for you, maybe hubby can speak with him. Remember there are tons of confidentially laws and rules so he won't tell anyone else. Tell him you don't want it noted in your file.
Another thought, maybe you might want to consider having a nurse present during the exam. Maybe hubby can stay with you during the exam. Would you be more comfortable switching to a female doctor?
Would you be more comfortable with a female OB? Is there one in the same practice or another in your insurance plan that you could switch to?
I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I wish you the best.
K.
Tell you doctor! It may change the dynamic for you where you become comfortable with him. Or he may be able to refer you to someone else that you might feel more comfortable with. Perhaps he even knows someone who can help specifically with your issue and help you move through your feelings during your pregnancy. Take care!
Have your husband go with you to your appointments,it will help you feel safe and secure. You may also wish to switch to a female doctor. If you really do like this one then share it with him while your husband is with you and explain your issues.
Yes, definately discuss this with your doctor. He will be alot more understanding about your fears. You also may need to consider whether or not you would feel more comfortable with a female phsyician.
i think that it would be a good idea to talk to him about it. Even if he is already being patient, i think it would help him know so that he can help sooth you regarding any exams or anything. Is your husband able to come to the visits with you? that may help. Or maybe finding a female doctor?
Maybe you can switch to another doctor that makes you feel more comfortable. he may indirectly remind you of what happened for whatever reason. Good luck and congratulations on your newest one. I'm sorry you had to go through this though.
How about finding a midwife, someone you can really trust?
I would tell him. If you say he's great but the only issue between you is this, he needs to know so he can effectively treat you. He will have a better understanding why you "freak out," if you do prefer a female doctor he may be able to recommend one for you, whatever it needs to be to make you comfortable.
Legally this doctor can't tell anyone that you were raped. Since your parents and other family members don't know, if you do talk to him about this, I would stress that. You wouldn't want a comment to slip out while around your family. I am sorry you're having a tough time, maybe your husband can go for more support for you. Take Care.
I would tell him if you are comfortable doing so. Otherwise, maybe you would be more at ease with a female doctor and female nurses.
