Desperately in Need of Reassurance!

I had some spotting with my first pregnancy, my daughter is now a healthy 15 year old. I do remember I was told not to vacuum. Try to lay down and rest as often as possible.

You're right, spotting is certainly something of a concern, but it sounds like you did the right thing getting professional advise! So take a load off and relax in this area. You've passed the 1st trimester, which is the biggest risk time for miscarriage and there isn't anything you can do to prevent it outside of normal pregnancy precautions.

Best wishes on selling/renting your house. This economy is a tough one, but as we've been house hunting lately, its hard to find a reasonably priced rental home, so maybe renting it will be a good thing, as that part of the market has a vacancy. However, think of how our grandparents and great grandparents did it. Many of them raised large families in very small homes. Somehow they made it work, and it was considered more normal. The size of the average 3 bedroom home has grown exponentially in the last 20 years, as have the sizes of cars and stuff like that. So my point is, it can be done. Keep the bedroom for sleeping only and keep toys out. Get a bunk bed for the boys, that will open up floor space (they have ones with good safety rails, and some can be trundle beds so the top isn't so high up and the bottom one slides under it once they're done sleeping. You just need to be creative and smart with the space you have. But you can do it! Take it as a challenge - watch a home improvement show to give you inspiration - and make it work. And keep the house on the market, the spring is a great time to buy or sell it.

Remember too, pre-school is not required, and he's pretty young. Most parents use it as a babysitter so they can get stuff done at home. If its too much for you to get him ready and out the door, keep him home. He can learn lots from you as well, and the social stuff will come with time, he's not an only child, so he's got a lot of it already. Also watch how he handles it, the timing of him going to school and the baby's arrival might make him feel as though he's being pushed out of the nest by the new baby, or missing out on the fun at home, things like that. Or he might LOVE it! So just be flexible to his needs and reactions.

Best wishes!

K.,
You got a lot of responses, but I thought I would give you another;)
I am a work at home mom. I am going on 30. I am pregnant with our third child. I am due in August. We live in an 840 square foot house with no basement. Stress is a big part of my daily routine!;)
I had spotting with my first child. I had had three miscarriages before I had my first child, so when I had my spotting...which was right about the time you are at, it really freaked me out. But, it didn't last long, and I went full term and had a beautiful little girl.
You sound like you have a lot on your plate, but remember to look at the positive things in your life and focus on those. That helps me get through my day. Our house is small, but we love eachother and are closer because of it. The kids all will share a room, but that is ok...that means I can have all the toys in one place!
Try and find some way to relax, it is important for your baby.
You sound like you have a lot of things to be thankful for...roof over your head, two kids, one on the way, and a husband...and I assume food on the table;)
"Borrowing trouble"...worrying about the unkown can't do you any good. Focus on your life now and enjoy it in the moment.
Good luck! And know that their are many women going through the same thing as you...you are not alone! I hope you find comfort in that.

K.

Hi K.. I've been in your shoes, I am a natural worrier. I had spotting w/my 1st child (after a previous miscarraige so I was FREAKING). Anyway they did an ultrasound and all was fine, I heard the heartbeat, I think I was about 6 or 7 weeks preg. So bottom line, relax, you heard a heartbeat, the chances of having a miscarraige after hearing a heartbeat is VERY VERY unlikely. Most miscarraiges occur before you can even hear a heartbeat. Congratulations!

Hello, K.,

I can't offer advice about spotting during pregnancy from my own experience. My mom spotted when she was pregnant with me. The first time, the doctor put her on bed rest. I asked her if my dad did the laundry and cleaning. (I have 2 sisters and a brother older than me) Ha! He carried her up and down the stairs to do the laundry and cleaning. Gee, what good was that? So, the second time she started bleeding, she just put a pad in her undies and kept going, trusting that whatever happened would be the right thing. Now, I'm 40-something.

Maybe what I can offer help with is how to socialize with pre-schoolers. I would be lost without my Mom of Preschoolers group (MOPS). I'll be graduating this year as my daughter will start kindergarten in the fall. I also have a second grader. You can find a group close to home at www.mops.org

I know it is difficult, but we all have times when we need to learn how to ask for and accept help. If you haven't asked for help from or leaned on your husband, well then, now is the time. He won't let you fall. He may be unsure of how to help you during this time. Or, he might just be a clueless man who needs you to explain it to him. (Mine varies between the two.) Either way, the men we chose to make our spouses generally take their vows - in sickness and health - in good times and in bad - seriously. I count in my blessings a husband who sees caring for our kids as my full-time job and caring for our house as our job.

One more thing. Bigger houses aren't necessarily better. We moved 6 1/2 years ago - just at the peak of home sales. Our goal was a bigger house for more kids. We only had one more child. So, now our house feels kind of - too big. And, now I have three(!) bathrooms to clean! (2 full and 1 half bath) Three toilets! We got a great price because it was a fixer-upper. But, now that we fixed it up, we couldn't sell it if we needed to. Our house value is now less than our mortgage+equity line used to fix it up. So, we wait and hope my husband is still employed.

These are some of the things that I have learned. I hope that they help you rest comfortably in your home and with your family. With love and prayers, D.

You need to get a baby heart beat doppler, and not like the ones that you buy at target or walmart. you can rent Dr office and hospital grade ones online for like $1-3/day usually pd by the month. I am telling you it was my saving grace, I had alot of problems with 3 out of 4 pregs. and it gave me much needed reassurance. www.heartbeatsathome.com is one, and there are many more... all you have to do is google it. And anytime you are spotting i am sure the doc told you it is your bodies way of telling you to take it easy, unwind and rest. Also after spotting no sex for 1 week after the last time you spotted. And last but certainly not least.... say your prayers!! GOD answers them. If you need a friend, or just have any questions, you can email me.... ____@____.com.

I have been pregnant three times, and have two children ages five years and almost nine months. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. Then, with my oldest daughter (my second pregnancy) I started spotting, and then bleeding at about 10 weeks. I was so scared and nervous, especially having previously had a miscarriage. I had a lot of opinions from both doctors and midwives. Some said bed rest, others said if I was going to have a miscarriage there was nothing I could do about it, it was just going to happen. Like you, I went for an ultrasound. Everything was fine, but I was still bleeding. The doctor said that up to 25% of all women bleed at some point during their pregnancy, and still have a happy baby. He also said that the bleeding will most likely stop as mysteriously as it began. And he was right. It lasted for around two weeks, and then just stopped. My daughter was healthy, and still is. I know it is hard not to worry, but stressing yourself out is only going to do more harm. My suggestion would be to be very positive. Tell yourself daily you are going to have a healthy baby, that you are healthy, and that your baby is healthy growing inside of you. Good luck!

Oh my K....take a deep breath and try to relax!! Since you had an ultrasound and baby cakes is fine...stop worrying about THAT. I spotted the first 6 weeks of my #2 baby and all was well (she is 27 now) As far as the who sleep where when #3 arrives....no rush...no worries. Keep the new baby with you for 6 months in a bassinette or your bed. You could also put Logan and Tyler in a bed together. I did this with my 3 and they slept like little kittens...my eldest daughter, now 30 puts hers sweeties in bed together too. As for the preschool starting, is there a playgroup he could go to in the summer a couple days a week for a few hours? It would be good practice before #3 arrives....keep in mind the baby might arrive before preschool starts, you never know. Starting preschool and a new baby could be bit much all at the same time. Having some practice at being away from you could be helpful to him.You are smart to be thinking about these things now, instead of in August! Good Luck and all the best to you!

Hi K.,
I'm 15 weeks today and started spotting/bleeding (it's spotting if it is brownish and bleeding if it is red) at 13w 3d. I had an ultrasound as well and it showed a low-lying placenta (placenta previa). I'm on restrictions now - pelvic rest (that means no sex!), no aerobic exercise, heavy lifting or anything strenuous.
This is also my third. I have a daughter who will be 4 at the end of May and a one who is 2 years and 7 months. Both of my girls will start preschool on opposite days in September, meaning I'll be taking someone to school every day of the week! The way I think of it is that I'll only have to take care of 2 kids every morning! This is a good thing. My older daughter is in preschool now. As every mom is, I was also concerned as to how she would adjust. The first couple of goodbyes were a challenge, but she loved it after a couple of weeks. Do try to get out a little and have your son around other kids. If you have a good friend with kids his age that he knows, try doing a 'drop-off' play-date a few times to see how he does without you. Or a summer camp this summer. There are a few out there for 3-year-olds.
Aside from the house issues, we have a lot in common! You can do this!!! Feel free to email me!

Dear K.,
It sounds as if you are overwhelmed! Are you a believer? I had two children living in a room the size of a closet...Your house size isn't the problem, right now. Kids are resilient. No matter the size(for right now) as long as it is clean and safe...your kids will manage. There were days I felt as if I was Anne Frank...but I gave those days to God, along with the spotting I experienced. I mean, I faced my worst fear...losing the baby..and went to the doctor...followed his instructions...so what more could I do? It was totally in God's hands..who knows your baby and even knew him BEFORE you conceived! He also knows not only the plans for your baby, but plans for you..plans for your future. Try to trust Him during this time and ask your friends for prayer! I now have three beautiful handsome, healthy young men and have taught them the same(Give your worries to God..He cares for you!) I will pray right now that you will have the peace that trancends the understanding of man...the peace that only God can give! God Bless!

Hi K.! First, You really need to stop worrying. I know sometimes that's really hard but it doesn't help anything or change anything. You need to stay healthy.
I also have a house for sale for 3 yrs. And My house is too small for my family. But the kids are surviving and they know that it won't always be this way. So they are fine. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't like it or understand it. If you believe in God, then my advice is to pray. (No, I'm not a religious freak) But that's what I do instead of worrying. And it helps alot.
As far as your son, you have plenty of time to prepare him that because he is such a big boy, he gets to go to school! and make it really exciting for him. That's going to be a crazy huge adjustment time for your family!!
C.

I am 29 weeks pregant with my 2nd child. I had the same situation around 12 or 13 weeks. Spotting that lasted for a good week or so. I called my doctor and they asked if we had recently had intercourse and we did...it seemed to go away after the week and I have not had it since. I didn't have an ultrasound which you did and you also saw the heartbeat. Hang in there, I was worried about it for a good month. I had no spotting with my first pregnany at all so I was very nervous just like you are.

Hello K., Good news! I had the same issue with my first pregnencey. My daughter was born with a 10 apcar(sp) score and is now 26 and very healthy. The bad news! I was told no sex, and to stay off my feet for 6 weeks. Your husband should take over all the resposability of any reality issues, this is too much stress for you. Change for your son this close to the baby arriving may prove to be too much for him and for you. It might be something to re-think. But trust your hubby on the house dealings, and don't allow yourself to worry about it. This is hard to do, but with distractions like music, it can be done. Think of the room situation as a temporary fix, can the baby sleep in the living room in a porta crib at night? Hope you the best, I will keep you in my prayers. P.S. I had 5 brothers who all shared the same small room. There was enough room for two sets of bunkbeds, with a trundle under one set. There was no room for a dresser, but all worked well for them.

Well Congradualtions for 1. I am suprised your dr did not indicate no intercourse if that is whats happeneing. I had that happen on one child. They just told me if it keeps happening maybe lay off having sex till after. You will do fine with three it will be crazy but it will all work out and you just need to plan right for it and you'll get it. You will do fine just follow your gut. Maybe your spotting because the baby is low. which is all normal and if your dr doesn't seem worried you shouldn't either. Just relax and breathe. Things will work out with everything.

The only thing you can do is rest and relax! Spotting can happen throughout the pregnancy. You are over the 12wk mark which is huge. Just so you know there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage. Over 50% of pregnancy end in a misscarriage, however, not everyone realizes they are even pregnant! I have had one and I blamed myself for the longest time; but in the end it's all okay. I would just start enjoying the pregnancy for all it's worth.
As far as the house, good luck. I can't really tell you a whole lot more than that. The market really sucks, I'm in the same position as you. We need more room, but have to deal with what we have. My husband just keeps telling me to be thankful that we have a roof over our heads; I hate it when he tells me that, but it's true. Good luck with everything!

Hi K.,
Congratulations on your pregnancy. It does sound like a stressful time. I would like to offer an idea, which may sound off track, but ultimately will help you now and during birth. I teach HypnoBirthing childbirth education classes. This method teaches relaxation techniques to control pain. It absolutely works, I did it twice. Relaxation practice now before birth would be most helpful to you as well. If you are interested be in touch with me via my website www.YourPeacefulBirthing.com

Good luck with everything,
J.

K. -
I understand your worry, but I spotted with both of my pregnancies and my boys turned out just fine. I have a friend that had almost a normal period throughout her pregnancy and her son was fine too. She didn't spot at all with her second pregnancy though. So, it may be just something your body is doing. I'm sure your OB will monitor it closely so you need to put your faith in him/her.
I don't have any real advice for the house...but if you don't sell, your kids will be fine in the same room. Think of how close they will be growing up! I shared a room with my sister and we used to talk each other to sleep and even now she is my best friend. So, it's not all bad to be close.

Good luck!

I had spotting with my first pregnancy as well. All the doctor had me do was to take it easy, physically (no major working out, etc). My daughter is now a healthy (and big!) 2 1/2 year old (and I'm pregnant with my 2nd - no spotting so far). each pregnancy is differnet so even though you didn't spot with your first two, it doesn't necessarily mean anything major is wrong with this pregnancy. Just be sure to take it easy.

As for your oldest starting pre-school right before you deliver, I suggest (if you're up to it) starting to get him into some social situations now to prepare him. You can try taking him to play-group type places like Gymboree where he can interact with other kids. Then reall "talk it up" when it comes to pre-school. Keep telling him of all the fun things he'll be doing and how exciting it will be.

As for your house... that's harder one :( If you want to consider renting, you can look to see if there is some sort of reputable management agency that will do it for you (of course, it will be at a fee). They should be able to do a nice background check on any tenant you may have in your home which may alleviate some stress.

It's SO important to try to limit the stress in your life (I know, easier said than done!) I understand though - I'm pregnant right now too and my husband and I both work for organizations that are going through lay-offs so we're both fearful of losing our jobs (just like almost everyone in Michigan, sadly!) I try to remind myself that nothing is more important than a healthy baby and that we can get through anything as long as we have each other and our family :) That helps me calm my fears. And if you're a religious person, I highly recommend praying. At church a little while back, our pastor gave a sermon on the importance of "quieting" the voices that cause you stress and simply talking to and listening to God. I find that this technique helps calm me when I start to get manic, worrying about finances, kids, work, etc.

OMGosh your story sounds very similar to my own. When I was pregnant with my 3rd child we lived in a 900 sq ft home and one of the bedrooms was 8 x 11, the other about 11 x 11 and ours wasn't much larger (fit a queen bed & dresser & that was it!). Anyway, we had it on the market for 3 years including the entire time I was pregnant!!! It did not sell until we closed the day before my 3rd child's 2nd birthday (last year).

We are christians and we prayed and we prayed and we had everyone else praying too! And everytime a house came along that we thought was perfect we'd try to "convince" God that it was the perfect house for us. We did not understand why our prayers weren't being answered. In the midst of the economy & the market we knew that our God was able and could make it sell if He really wanted to. I was very stressed and down about all of this, but I also drew nearer to the Lord (started reading my bible more, developing a stronger relationship with him, etc.)

The entire time my husband wanted to rent out our current house and I was against it. Finally I prayed, Lord if you want it rented then change my heart and bring a renter along because I cannot handle the stress of that. I kid you not, about a month later someone came to us asking to rent it!!! So we decided to begin the process and see how it went. The money even came thru for the city inspections, etc. (remember that stimulus check everyone got last year - it was perfect timing).

This was about mid-April and our renter had Section 8 and absolutely had to move by June 1st. We weren't sure if we'd be putting our things in storage and staying with the in-laws or in an apt until we found a house or what. There was one house we were trying to deal with the seller's on, but it just wasn't coming together and now we were into May!

It was about the 1st or 2nd week of May and a house came on the market at the top of our price range (but it was a great price on the house for the way the market was). We went and looked at it and it was bigger and better than any house we had ever wanted in the last 3 years. It had 4, possibly 5 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, 2 1/2 baths, 2 dining rooms, sun room, attached garage, large yard, finished basement, in the school district we wanted, 5 minutes from both our work, and the owner had remodeled the kitchen and updated everything so beautifully. It was more than perfect!

The first week on the market and we offered the asking price, plus we asked the seller to pay $12k toward closing costs, prepaids, down payment, etc. And he accepted!!!!

We closed on May 26th and even at closing everyone there said they don't know how the inspections, and all the paperwork came through so quickly for us!!!! It was definitely the Lord's hand in it all. The owner was even out by closing so we didn't have to wait!

The Lord gave us abundantly above all that we could even ask or think! And now we are so grateful that we waited on the Lord...even though it was tough being crammed into a small home with 3 kids in a bad school district for so long. For months I walked around that house thinkging "wow I just can't believe it...I can't believe it."

Anyway, needless to say, even when we don't think our prayers are working the Lord is managing it from every angle even when we cannot see it.

And come to find out, the seller of that house had divorced a few months back, remodeled the house to his liking cuz he thought he'd stay their forever, found a new woman that he fell in love with, and they bought a lake home somewhere else so that's why he as selling. Of course, the Lord knew all of this was happening, and what was to come the entire time.

As far as your pregnancy goes...I'm 10 weeks pregnant with our fourth child! I was in the E.R. last week bleeding huge blood clots and it was a horrible mess. I was so scared. I had miscarried at 5 weeks last summer so I thought that's what was happening again (but this was worse).

When they did the ultrasound I honestly did not expect to see a baby, but I still prayed, "Lord regardless of the bleeding and the way this all looks I know their can still be a baby because you are the giver of life." The ultrasound tech turned the screen toward us and pointed at the baby & the heartbeat. I was astonished!!!! It looked just like a little peanut, just like yours!!!!

The E.R. doctor didn't even understand the ultrasound results so he had to call my OB that was was on-call. He came down and explained to us that there was a blood clot in my uterus keeping the placenta from attaching. He said that in these cases, the majority of the time, the placenta will absorb the blood clot and everything will be ok. (and of course there is the chance of bad news too) but he was pretty optimistic. I have an ultrasound today to see the progress.

I'm not saying that is the same with your case, but I hope that maybe my experiences can leave you with some encouragement today. If you don't mind I would love to prayer for you and your family. It will all work out for you because everything works together for those that love the Lord and are called according to His righteousness!

God Bless!!!!

Hey K.---Congratulations on expecting #3. My prayer for you is that you are able to take all of this in stride. For everything that is going on, you have take a deep breath and make your best plans. Whatever is going to happen will happen as it is supposed to. After you do everything that is within your power, you must realize that you've done all that you can do. Worrying about things won't change them. Know that you and your husband are capable and when a new 'situation' arises, you WILL be able to handle it.

I have to tell a story about when I was young. I am the oldest of 6 kids, and until I was in high school, the six of us shared 2 bedrooms. Actually, my poor brother had to share the smaller room with the 3 youngest girls for a time. Theree was 13 years between youngest and oldest, but, you make do with what you have. It's not so bad that 3 of them will have to share a room for a time. Oh, we only had one bathroom with a small shower and toilet in the basement. The men in my house growing up didn't stand much hope of ever getting a tub bath.

Anyway, take time to step back occasionally and realize that all will be ok in time. It will be because you will make it so.

Good luck and feel free to call me to chat. D. ###-###-####

Of all of the advice that I can give you, it would be..don't worry. I know that sounds like an impossible task, but sometimes the spotting is really minor, nothing that would affect you or your baby. I had some spotting with my second child, and it all turned out to be no big deal...he's healthy now. Just relax...take your docs advice, and don't be scared about asking for help (taking your kid to school and everything else). I'm sure you have people who can help you, and would be willing to do so!

Hi K., you sound worried, as any mother would be. But you also sound like a wonderful mother, wife, friend. You have checked things out with your doctor, and so many other things are going on as well. Look back to a time in your life, where things really made you worry, you had no idea how you could make it, but you did, and things actually worked out quite well. I spotted during one of my four pregnancies, I was 5mo's, working full time, 2 other children at the time, 8 & 9 yr. they did take me off work, as I was, and still am a cosmetoligist, so to much time on my feet, she went full turm, 7lbs 6oz. she even had hair, the first girl of mine with hair, at birth. I think you have done everything you can, and everything will work out fine for you & your family. Sounds like time is short for such a busy mom, but have you tryed meditation, even for short periods, this has actually been proven in studies to help the body, everything you need you already have, just need to take a deep breath, and take time for mom, and new baby. Congradulations things will be fine.

I had spotting throughout my two pregnancies and everything was fine! You sure have a lot on your plate, but you have to believe that everything will work itself out in th end!

Women often bleed during pregnancy. I bled for 3 weeks.. My child was fine. If they see a heartbeat on ultrasound. That is a very good sign. The baby will probably be fine.

I would get your son involved in some social activities now... library story times. playgroups... sunday school at church... anything to get him used to social settings. My duaghter just started preschool at 3 years old. she has doen very well-- but I have been taking her to library story times and playgroups for almost 2 years.. so she is very used to being around kids and talking to teachers..

most kids do quite well in preschool and are ready to play with the other kids. but any thing you do now will make the transitioin easier on him.

I am 37 weeks preg with my second child (this is my 3rd pregnancy; 1st one ended in miscarriage). I did spot for a full week at the beginning of this pregnancy (week 6) after we had intercourse. I was 99% sure I was going to miscarry but I'm still pregnant!
I rented a doppler so I can check the baby's heartbeat whenever I need reassurence. I heard it for the 1st time at 9 weeks and I would check it everyday because I'm nuts like that!
We also live in very close quarters. We have a 830 sq ft upper unit condo. No basement, no attic, no garage, no storage, tiny closets, 2 bedrooms, 1 small bathroom, etc. There is no way in the world we would ever be able to sell it right now! I just tell myself we will be "cozy". I'd rather have a small house filled with kids and lots of love then a huge house that feels empty. Yes, it's frustrating that my husband and I can't fit in the kitchen at the same time (mostly b/c of this huge belly) but we just try to make the best of it. What else can we do?
Hang in there! Maybe try to join a playgroup or enroll your oldest in a class at the community center over the summer to get him socialized and used to being away from you.

Hello, K.
I had a similar experience with my first son. It was not spotting though but felt like a full blown period. I was about 10 to 12 weeks.
I first started bleeding on christmas eve at the middle of a family dinner. I bent down to pick up something stood up and felt like what seemed to be a gush of something. I thought why is this happening to me now! My husband took me to emergency and they did an ultrasound and saw the baby's heartbeat. They could not explain it. The next day I want and saw my regular dr. They also did an ultrasound. I was told it was some type of implantation bleed. I went on to bleed for about two weeks straight. I also continued to work everyday as well not knowing what to expect. It eventually stopped. The rest of my pregnancy went on with no complications at all.
I would try not to stress out too much. I know its frustrating.
Hope this helps

K.-
I spotted at 16 weeks called My OB and they sent me to the ER for an ultrasound and a pelvic. (sense I was under 20 weeks they did not want me to go to labor and delivery) anyway- after hours of tests and ultrasounds Dr's coming in and out, they said the baby looked fine and that spotting or even a period like bleeding is normal after intercourse, just to take it easy. They gave me paperwork to follow up with my Dr. in a week. Everything was ok, and it never happend again.
I would just keep tabs on it and how you feel, you know your body better than anyone, so if in a few days you feel strange go back. Trust your gut.

Good luck & Congrats!! Im sure everything will be fine
:-)