I know there are countless questions on here from moms regarding naptimes but I don't know if any of those moms are going as crazy as me. I will preface my question by saying I had a good two years of 3-4 hour naps from my son. And I cherished those naptimes because it was my time to relax and do what ever the heck I wanted to do and didn't have to feel guilty about it. Sometimes I was productive and did housework or prep dinner but usually I spent it on the computer.
My son is not 2 1/2 years old. For the past 3 months I dread naptime because it is always a battle. I stick to our schedule by putting on pjs then reading 3 or 4 books. He finally let me start lying down with him to sing him to sleep and that worked for about 2 weeks. It was kind of a double edged sword cause he would fall asleep for 3 hours but I had to "help" him do it and it took 30 minutes or so to do it. Not so easy when I've got a 9 month old to attend to as well. I was willing to do whatever it took to get him to nap. Well now he will not settle down to sleep no matter what. I find myself getting very angry with him during this time. I turn into someone who I don't want to be. I get mad and yell at him. I leave him in his room for naptime and he just turns it upside down. Plays in curtains, pulls clothes out of drawers, unplugs monitor. I've taken all toys and books out of his room so how is it possible that he spends 2+ hours doing virtually nothing and not falling asleep. I've tried leaving a few books in there for him to read but he still doesn't fall asleep. I've tried going back in there and putting him back in bed. I've tried a reward system. I've tried everything and nothing works. I will say that while I've tried everything I don't do it for more than a few days before I give up and try something different. I guess I want a quick fix.
It absolutely drives me bonkers that this kid will not give up the fight and sleep. I know he is tired cause he's yawning, rubbing his eyes. He starts getting really cranky and if he doesn't take a nap he is an absolute pill by 5 pm and then bedtime is 6:30 - 7pm. I absolutely refuse to give up naps. I am a firm believer that kids need naps until at least 3 years old and then at least quiet time. I get so worked up over naptime I think it's affecting my health both mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm at the point where I feel I might need to seek psychological help to deal with "my" issues of naptime. It really is the battle of the wills and we are both too stubborn to give in!
Sorry for the long drawn out explanation or question, but I'm at my wits end! I kind of feel better just having typed it all out.
What I did when my son started protesting naps was to tell him that he didn't have to sleep but he had to stay in bed for quiet time with the light off-just like regular nap time. 99% of the time he fell asleep for his usual nap.
You are most definitely forgetting that every child is different. Sounds like your son is growing out of his nap. (Both of mine did in their 2's.) I would suggest you implement quiet time with books or playing quietly in his room. Other options would be to take him to the park or pool and exhaust him. The more energy he burns the more likely he will settle down for a little while in the afternoon. Or move his bedtime later. If you move his bedtime to 8:30 he might be ready for an afternoon nap. You cannot be so rigid. Good luck.
Well, it sounds like YOU need naptime more than your son. Whether or not you're a believer of naps until 3YO, your 2 1/2 YO has other plans. I agree quiet time is a good idea, but you may not get him to go to sleep. I mean, how effective would it be if every night at 10p.m. your husband screamed & yelled at you to "GO TO SLEEP RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!! I MEAN IT!!!"??? I don't know about you, but for me, that would have the opposite effect that he was going for.
I understand being exhausted in every sense of the word, my kids are only 17 months apart & yours sound about 20-21 months apart. The first couple of years is really, REALLY hard, but you need to adjust to their changes when they're ready to make them. Maybe your son is ready to give up, or at least shorten his naps & then go to bed earlier at night so your free time will just need to shift. You are aware that most SAHM's don't have 3 hours of free time every day, right? Because they don't. I didn't have 3 hours to myself until my kids went to school. Seriously. So, with that in mind, if you feel like you might need some help, then go get it! Don't put it off, you'd only be wasting what little time you have while your kids are tiny being angry! Hugs to you!!
Please don't interpret this as snarky. I don't mean it that way at all. I relished my son's naptime too.
But I can't help but think, by the way you described your situation, that it's not so much that you are "a firm believer that kids need naps until at least 3 years old and then at least some quiet time," as much as you are a firm believer that YOU need your kids to nap until at least 3 years old and then at least some quiet time.
I'm not faulting you, just telling it as I *read* it.
I know your son still 'appears' to need his naps, but it sure seems like he's ready to give it up. There's no magic age that is the same for every kid when they're ready to give up their naps. You have to be a little more flexible on this if you are going to have any peace. I'd work on him with moving toward the 'quiet time' phase of your plan, and let go of the nap. Save your sanity. You are fighting a losing battle. You can't FORCE him to sleep. So work with what you have to keep yourself sane.
Best wishes. I miss naps too.
It may be time to switch over to "quiet time". In our house (recently turned 3), we have naptime every weekend afternoon at 2:00. He goes down like a rock at preschool by 1:00, but home is different. Anyway, we don't harass him to go to sleep, as long as he is being quiet in his room. Most of the time, he'll lay there for a half hour and fall asleep. If he doesn't after 30 minutes, we will let him cuddle a bear and flip through books for another 30 minutes. The whole house is quiet for that hour. I would say 9 out of 10 times, he gets bored and sleeps.
I am like you - my 3 year old really doesn't need a nap anymore, but I sure as heck do!
so what I do is when naptime comes, I put her in the car and we go for a drive to see the "horses" 20 minutes and she is out for 2 hours.
This of course only works if you can get your kid out of the car without them waking up, and I have it down to an art.
She doesn't nap every day now though, more like every other, the days she does not nap, I put on a dvd or two so she can watch it.
Your child goes to bed very early, sounds like you get quite a lot of downtime, but having kids is stressful. Mine goes to bed at around 8.30.
My son is 4.75 and still naps, in the afternoon, everyday.
He needs it. If not he turns into an over-tired fussy TROLL.
He has napped, everyday, regularly since he was a baby.
It is just the routine.
No battles.
However, at 2 years old, this is the age juncture in which sleep tweaks happens. They are changing in cognition and imaginations and they do not have fully developed impulse-control at this age.
They will not, at-will all nicely, go to nap on their own.
At this age, they still need assistance and need to be cued.
ie: they will NOT at this age, tell themselves "oh gee, I am over-tired, I need to nap and tuck myself in."
You NEED to cue them and assist in the transition. They are young. You need to 'direct' them.
Thus, don't just leave him in his room by himself. They can't self-regulate. At this age.
Have a chair, sit in it, read a magazine... don't engage with him or "play." In a boring voice, cue him. Tell him "Nap now...." Tell him to lie down.
A kid this age also needs to WIND-down first, before nap. Nothing hyper and no horse-play before bed. That just keys them up, more.
BEFORE nap time, like 1 hour before, WIND-DOWN. Incorporate this into the timing of his nap time. Thus, don't wait until nap time to wind him down... do it BEFORE the actual nap time.
Also, what I do with my son is: in the MORNINGS, I do physical activity things.... gross motor things. So he gets out his yah-yah's in the morning.
We already went to the park, for example and ran around.
Then we come home.
Then we play and then eat lunch.
THEN, he poops,
Then it is wind-down.
THEN it is nap.
Before nap I always cue him, telling him what is coming up.
He KNOWS that.
Then we get ready.
Then he goes in his room.
I sit and read a magazine. I don't engage. I don't look at him.
He lays down.
He starts to key down.
He falls asleep.
I leave the room.
He naps for 2 hours.
It is a daily routine.
My son knows it like auto-pilot.
TRY, to have BOTH your kids, nap at the same time.
When I had my 2nd child, that is what I did.
Both my kids, napped at the same time and I synchronized it, that way.
I used to drive my boys to sleep at this age. It is hard to fight when you are strapped in to a car seat. Gas was significantly cheaper then, though. We would go all over. We got a real good look at all the rural neighborhoods in our area.
Time to change tactics. Does he like to be in your bed? My boys would love to sleep in our bed. But, there were rules. If they got out of bed, made noise, played, etc, they were out. I would lay with then for the first few minutes, explain the rules, then leave. I left the door open until they were asleep then i closed it.
I am sure he is just afraid that he is going to miss something. You could just let him stay up one day. Do what you normally do, ignoring him (within reason), giving him no attention whatsoever, and show him that he is not missing anything.
Good Luck
Is it possible that he needs a different nap time? Toddlers and babies are constantly changing their needs. It sounds like he may be getting over tired and then that is when it gets impossible! I wonder if you can try to settle him for a nap at a different time, or take the babies for a walk in the stroller or ride in the car (anything to settle them down right?)
So sorry I feel your pain, mine is 3 months and his sleeping schedule is constantly changing, however my 10 year old sleeps great lol. So hang in there it doesn't last forever!
