Desparately Needing Help with Potty Training

Updated on January 30, 2007
D.S. asks from Austin, TX
18 answers

My son is 3 years old. I can not seem to get him to even go potty on the toilet let alone train him. He sits on the little potty but doesn't do anything. He knows when he needs to be changed and will go and get a pull-up for me. He even sometimes takes off his pull-up before he hands me a new one. My family gives me a hard time that he is not trained yet. My doctor says he will be trained in time. Any suggestions anyone may have would be greatly appreciated. I am new to this site and there may already be something out there. I am just needing any help I can get.

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A.B.

answers from Brownsville on

I'm in the process of potty training my last one. However all three of my children have been different. my middle one was easiest i guess because i had practice with the first. what i did with the 2nd child was i found his favorite character. at that time he liked spiderman and bought him undies that had spiderman on them. once i had them i would tell him in order to wear them he needed to go to the restroom like big people did. also, while sitting on the little pot i would entertain him with flashcards and reading. i know its time consuming but it makes sitting there a little easier for them. plus, i would reward him with a fruitsnack or cookies of some sort once he finished.(healthy snacks)

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M.B.

answers from El Paso on

I went through the same thing with my daughter. I had to listen to what my dad and mom used to do to get us potty trained. For the first couple weeks I had to go sit on the toilet and potty and take her with me. After that, she just started telling me she needed to go. Along, with that she would get a treat (small toy or candy) after she peed. The only thing I can't get her to do now is poop in the potty.

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H.W.

answers from El Paso on

Hi D.,

I started potty training my oldest son when I saw that he was taking an interest in going to the potty. It was hard. I tried all kinds of things. Instead of a little potty that goes on the floor I got him one that fits over the adult toilet seat. He liked that better. Also, I completely took him off diapers during the day. I had him wear little tighty whities. When he peed or pooped in real underwear he hated it because it stayed wet and uncomfortable. Not like diapers or pull ups. I also bribed him with M&M's and beef jerky. It worked. My favorite thing that really worked was that I used a kitchen bell timer. I set the timer every 15 minutes. When the bell rang I would get really excited and Yell "It's time to go potty!" We'd race back to the bathroom. If he went in the toilet, I made a huge production out of it. If he didn't we said we'd try next time. Remember, don't put too much pressure on him about it or else he may regress completley! HOpe that helps!!!

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P.

answers from San Antonio on

My son didn't go until 3 1/2 after the day care provider fought with him, the school tried (he was the oldest and last to potty train almost!) and I tried. His cousin came to visit and made fun of his "nappie" and he found the motivation and wanted to show his cousin his underwear. He pretty much started going on his own after that. They are all different and some take until age 4 and people do fuss at YOU, but it all works out.

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L.N.

answers from Austin on

D.,,,i too had lots of trouble potty training my 3 yr old daughter...after 3 other girls who got it fast,this was frustrating to me...but if u just let it happen naturally and not push the issue, he might get it.It seems as if they are pushed to hard they rebel...with mine anyway..she was scared to go because of all the hoopla we made of it, but then we just kinda let up and she decided to go on her own one day,and so has been on her own evry since..maybe u can try a potty video.The best of luck...L.

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A.P.

answers from Austin on

3 years old is old enough to get a handle on this. First, I would say talk it up for a few days, "big brothers go on the potty" or "It is going to be so great when you can go on the potty just like mom and dad," etc. Then, I would let him pick out some underwear at the store himself. Then, I would have a "Potty Party" Talk up the party to him, tell him its coming and that after that day, no more pull ups for him! At the party (we had a cake and balloons and a few people over), make a big production of "throwing" the pullups away (we put them in a garbage bag and took them to the garage - he was none the wiser). If people want to bring a gift, ask that it be underwear. After the party - and this is where your resolve will come in - NEVER go back to pullups (even at night). Just a couple of days in the underwear, he'll have the concept down and be mostly pee pee trained (the poop was harder for us). Also, when he has an accident, make him involved in the cleanup process and stress to him that we don't pee pee or poop in the underwear. Pee pee and poo poo go in the potty. Oh, and ditch the potty chair. Just put the seat on top of the regular toliet (it makes it more real and is a lot less clean up for you!). Also, dad could be instrumental here. My husband took him to the bathroom with him for a "live demonstration" if you will and it worked wonders! Persistancy is the key here. Once you've made up your mind - stick to your guns and he'll have no choice but to come around. Be prepared to have it take at least a month or more. I just put a basket on the back of every toliet in our house. The basket had a couple of fresh pairs of undies and those Kando wipes. This made cleanup easier.

A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

D.,

My daughter was very difficult to potty train...and in the beginning it was her training me; me rushing to get her to the potty, sitting there for 30 minutes where she would do nothing, and then as soon as she pulled that pull up on...tada...look mommy I went potty. ::sigh::

In the end it was a combination of things.

A) I removed the pull-ups. I realized she saw them as an extension of the diaper and wasn't really uncomfortable when she messed them. So I got rid of them and bought some normal training pants that let her know when shes wet. She did not like that sensation.

B) I made a game out of it. I created a board...one side for peeing. One side for pooping. Anytime she peed in the toilet I gave her a small sticker for her to place on the peeing side. Anytime she pooped I gave her a large sticker to put on the poop side...along with tons of praise, hugs, and kisses and the Im so proud of you...you are getting so big comments.

C) I was never negative. I never reprimanded her for her accidents.

D) I never rewarded with food. I did not want her to associate good behavior with food. So that is why i opted for the stickers.

and last....

E) I told her when she didn't potty for an entire month in her panties...then she would get her grown up panties of her choosing and a toy of her choosing.

With all of this. She did wonderfully...the stickers alone motivated her. Just make it fun. And keep it positive. It will be frustrating at time. But the key is to get rid of the pull-ups. Outside of bedtime of course. I also used the incentive that once she slept through the night with out going potty in her bed, regardless if she was wearing a pull up or a pair of panties, for one month, she would get a toy.

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L.S.

answers from Odessa on

I remember when I was having trouble potty training my oldest. I asked my grandfather if she was ever going to learn, and his response was, "Well.....you don't see any high school students going around in diapers do you?" Everybody learns at their own pace.

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J.H.

answers from Brownsville on

playing sink the cheerios helped with my son. through a few cheerios in the toilet. have a male show your son how to sink them. sounds kind of icky but they have fun and it helps with accuracy. also, having a favorite to, with us it was buzz light year, so to the poddy and then get a sticker was a great help. just remember to be patient and stay positive

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S.P.

answers from Abilene on

My son was very head strong about potty training also. I started with him when he turned 2 and it took more than a few months. The thing that worked for me was to make it fun. I would let him pee on cheerios in the big potty and stuff like that. None of my kids ever liked the little potty. I also let him run around naked and told him not to pee pee on mommys floor. I would even let him go outside to pee when we were at my moms house (who lives on a farm with no neighbors). He thought that was so fun and started telling me everytime he had to potty (he thought going outside was the coolest). He eventually moved inside and to the potty. I also let him stand to potty. He would put his knees on the seat and potty inside the bowl. I think the key is consistenacy tho. Start it and go with it. Pull ups never worked for us, I had to get him the potty pants that are fabric on the inside and plastic on the outside (to prevent a lot of leakage). That way he knew when he was wet and nothing really obsorbed it.
HTH!

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L.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I'm with you D., my three year old girl would go #2 in the potty and we are really having a hard time with her telling us when she needs to go #1 also. Don't feel bad about your family my is the same way. It really makes me feel bad sometimes when they say your not trying hard enough. I have three children and it's hard to give only one of your children your whole attention, it's just life. Hope this helps to hear. Best of luck,
L.

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K.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I am not potty training as of yet but all my girl friends that are say let it go. If you push him then he will not want to do it. If you let him be in control then he will do it. I wouldn't worry about it and let it go. It will happen when he is ready and only when he is ready.

K.

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K.M.

answers from Abilene on

Hi, I'm K. mother of 3. 7, 2, an 4months. I will tell you from experince that he will use the potty when he is ready every child is different. When he thinks it's his ideal an he's ready he will do it but if you push it an make him cry or be upset over it it will just prolong him not wanting to. Don't worry with you family just take care of that little man an do what works best for him. sometimes we try to follow the books an doc advise but sometimes the best thing to do is let our kids lead a little bit. He will potty train in no time just step back a take a breath an relax an when your not exspecting it, it will happen. take care an good luck hope this helps K.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I had my son change himself. He gets the new pull up, puts the old one in a plastic bag in the trash, and puts his new one on. The only thing I would do was wipe a poopy butt. We started Friday night and by Sunday afternoon he was 100% "potty trained". During the week & at preschool he wears a pull up b/c sometimes he forgets the time element in getting to the potty to pee - but he hasn't had a #2 accident since that weekend.

I also told my family to kiss my rear end - my kid, my issue - if I wanted their advice or input, I knew where to ask.

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N.L.

answers from Waco on

The best advise I was givin on potty training was, put him in a regular pair of underwear you may even take him to the store and let him pick some out. leave him in the underwear all the time ( you may have to clean up a couple of messes) but after about a week he should be potty trained. Doing it this way you can also tell if he is ready to be potty trained or not. If he is in his underwear and he potties in them and it doesn't bother him then he is not ready, but if he doesn't like the wet underwear touching him then he is ready. this is how i knew my daughter was ready. If you have any other questions just email me. my address is ____@____.com

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

This is not going to be alot of help. But I had the same problem with my son. What I learned was HE would decide when he is ready and I can't make him. So be patient. Keep sitting him on the potty and talking to him about it. But don't get mad. Just wait, and soon enough he will let you know he needs to go to the potty. One day out of nowhere, Angel (my son) told me he had to go pee-pee. And then he was trained after that, only two accidents. Good Luck!

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N.W.

answers from Austin on

hi! Also in Ausitn and brand new to the site-- this is my first response!
i also have a about to be 3 yr old..and he does the same thing-- he'll even play with his poopoo sometimes. All i can say is try to constantly reinforce positive behavior and constantly take him to the potty-- the hardest part about it is, it is sooo time consuming, and it takes a while for them to "get it". I've just had to pay a lot of extra attention to him and take him all the time. I also bought a few potty books and Elmo's potty time-- to help move it along-- he loves books so he'll sit on the toilet forever and just read-- i just havent been able to get him to actually "go".
Anywyas i got him to actually sit on the toilet with the books, sometimes traets , and lots of excitement and encouragement. My friend has 3 boys and said they all started in their 3's also. Plua i've been told boys usually take a little longer anyways:)
anyways good luck

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L.R.

answers from Austin on

I had the same problem with my son. The only advice I can give you is patience. When he finally got it he was almost 4 and once he got it that was it. My Daughter is having problems now. She is 4 1/2 and refuses to poop in the potty. I am at a loss with her. Don't let family make you feel bad. They always feel a need to tell you what to do but rarely have any useful advice. My mom is driving me crazy with the potty train with my daughter. He will get it in time. just keep reminding him to try to go. There are some good books out there. I got my son The pooty book for boys and we would read it when he was on the potty. I dont know how much help this was but just know you are not alone. It is frustrating but he will get it.

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