Dermoid Cyst, Need Your Support

wow, this is about so much more than a cyst. in fact, the little ol' cyst seems to be the least of your problems, hon.
schedule the surgery. losing a bit of an ovary isn't the end of the world, and then at least the cyst will be off your list of 'things to worry about.'
it's relatively easy to cope with the loss of an entire ovary. it's not easy to cope with depression, anxiety and marriage to a schmuck. so get the surgery and then tackle the schmuck issue.
and it sounds as if your best bet is to get out, easier said than done, i know. but you've got nothing to stay for, do you? it doesn't sound as if you two love each other at all, he's not a partner or a friend, and he's training your son to grow into a schmuck too.
hope exists, but you need to move out of the shadows to see it.
religion does not exist to make problems non-existent, but to help you cope with problems when they do arise. i'm always puzzled by people who cling miserably to a religion that is either doing nothing for them or making things worse. don't expect your religion to clear things up for you. but if you're in the right religion for you, calling upon your god(s) for strength during times of trial should help stiffen your spine.
and you'll need a stiff spine, sweetie. but won't having a future, hope, health, and a better life for you and your child be worth it?
good luck!
khairete
S.

First of all, I will tell you that laproscopic surgery on your ovary is so much better than cutting you open. I had a cyst removed from mine - 7 cm. And my doctor was surprised that my ovary could be saved. I didn't lose it.

I know you are afraid, but I have to say after reading your post that all I could think was that I hope that this surgery spurs you to make some REAL CHANGES in your life. You need to get rid of this awful husband. The LAST thing you need is to get pregnant.

You need some counseling. Please call the Battered Women's Hotline. You say that his hitting and shoving and slapping isn't serious. You are so wrong.

You should stop worrying about love and instead think about survival. Getting out from this man's clutches is SO important.

Please don't get pregnant. Please get some counseling. Talk to a divorce lawyer about what you need to do to be ready when you leave him. Please don't stay with this man.

Do get the surgery that is why you have two ovaries. I lost one early in life and still got pregnant with the other.

When you go to the hospital you are asked if you feel safe in your home? Tell them that you don't. They will take the information and pass it on and get you help to leave.

Check out the women's shelter and make a plan. You are in a controlling abusive situation that will only get worse. Getting this guy out of your life is the first step to finding out the real you and being a successful person. No one should demand all of someone else's time, money, and energy just to please them. Your self-esteem is being ruined and you will begin to think that you are worthless and nobody will want to be around you. That is so far from the truth.

If he hits, you, call the police and have it documented so that there is a paper trail to his violent behavior. You are a mother and mother's do whatever is necessary to survive and to protect their young. You have to get into the "fight or flight" zone and get out ASAP.

Here's a big hug to you. Don't become a statistic.

the other S.

PS Don't have anymore kids with this guy he is not worth it.

Cyst is the least if your problems. Get help and get out now.

Your husband is abusive. LEAVE HIM ASAP.

The medical issues will work out. This marriage is doomed. It is NOT your fault. Leave him and your life will get so much better.

As far as the cyst goes, have it removed; laparoscopies in thegrand scheme of things, are piece of cake....and you can still have kids with only one ovary if need be....that's why God gives ya two of 'em...

As far as your marriage....LEAVE HIM...he is an abusive man....pushing, shoving and slapping are all serious....and what's he going to do if you do have the surgery and need a couple of days to recoup?

feel better

Honey, schedule the surgery.
The existence/lack of an ovary does not define you.
I have a friend that conceived two children having a quarter of O. ovary.

Next, your marriage.
Looks like hubby is going to get a wee taste of what it's like to run the house for a few days. How perfect.
Try to arrange for someone to come and help you out during recovery because I can almost guarantee you he's going to screw everything up.

After you HEAL and RECOVER, I would urge you to get some counseling for yourself to sort out these feelings and give you perspective on your relationship. Which, by the way, sounds a lot like "ownership" to me which is definitely not OK.
All the best!

Your cyst didn't happen because of or despite your religion. It didn't happen because of the person you are or the choices you've made so far. Sometimes medical things just without any particular cause. Cysts can be spontaneous, or there can be a family history.

I do believe in signs, and I think this cyst is your sign to take action and look at what really matters. Fertility issues can be emotional, but you have to consider the fact that it would be awful to be pregnant again by this man.

"He has hit me in the past, ***but nothing serious*** only some pushing, shoving, slaps."

Pushing, shoving, and slaps are EXTREMELY serious. Downplaying the wrongness of it is a typical and normal thing in women who are abused.

I've been married for over 16 years. My husband has never so much as poked me with a fingertip in anger. He has never grabbed me by the arm. He's never even lifted a hand like he was thinking about slapping me.

You need to take back your power and learn to love yourself. Your self worth has to come from inside, it can not be measured by outside influences. Until you learn to value yourself you will always be a target for those who would hurt you and take advantage of you.

You have a ton of garbage to deal with in your life right now. It is awful and it isn't fair at all, but only you can control where your life heads. Please contact a women's shelter, social services, or whatever is available in your area to start forming your escape plan. Your medical needs are a part of the big picture, so you're going to need help figuring out if you should stay long enough for that or not. You may need legal aid in order to protect your son.

I can't speak to the other issues you mentioned, but as for the dermoid cysts, I had to have two surgeries on both ovaries for these, back when I was in my twenties and early 30s. I went on to have 2 children after that. I was scared and upset about it too, but I suffered no after effects. Oh, and they were so large the first time around that they couldn't remove them laparoscopically (had to do an open incision).