As you may recall my sister has many phobias....and she has been desparately trying to be brave enough to go to this dentist appointment for 1 filling and for them to make a mold of her gums so she can get some partial teeth to fill in a 5-tooth gap that the teeth were rotted and had to be pulled. (IN the front of her mouth) Due to the fact that she just can't go to the dentist. She has made so many dentist appointments and never goes. She has walked out after being in the chair before the dentist comes in. So I mananged to get her into one appointment by saying I will go in the room with her. We went....but at least 3 times during the procedure I had to keep her from getting up out of the chair. We told the dentist ahead of time about her phobia. Okay...so we have had another appointment planned....you know....I go with her for support. Today...just now....she texted and said its a no-go. I have rearranged my schedule 3 times to go with her, I wonder if you think enough is enough..she just not going back?
Time for you to stop facilitating her problem and for her to take responsibility. Find her a sedation dentist, and offer her a ride when she makes her own appt.
She might need to look into sedation dentistry, especially for big procedures. If she's really phobic, she might need behavioral therapy to get over it, too.
The dentist I use advertised as being good with nervous patients and he is. I dislike the dentist (always have, most doctors, really) but I can get through even a filling if I feel like the dentist cares, will stop if I have pain, etc.
Try to be understanding. Thing of one of your worst fears. Now imagine voluntarily putting yourself in that place. I can't blame her for having trouble following through.
Not everyone can "get by" with never seeing a dentist. We all have different issues and different levels of enamel and some people can brush and still have issues. My SD has to have very thorough cleanings at least 2 times if not 3 times a year. Good thing she's not phobic.
Why doesn't she pay for the laughing gas? Also, just to clarify, her teeth have rotted because she doesn't brush/floss like she should, not because she doesn't go to the dentist. The better you are at brushing/flossing, the less dental issues you can have. So maybe check into seeing if she can ge the laughing gas to help her relax and then encourage her to keep up with cleaning and maybe she won't have to go and have such drastic procedures done in the future. Good luck!
Perhaps she might look for a dentist who provides sedation dentistry?
Basically, the dentist gives the patient a strong sedative before treatment. No fear, no pain, no memory of the treatment.
ETA: In response to MzKitty's comment...I have an awful phobia of the dentist that I've beat back for years. I agree with your comment about brushing and flossing. I've been to the dentist once in ten years, brush and floss every day and have beautiful teeth. But as for the nitrous-oxide (laughing gas)...I can't have it because I'll have a panic attack. It doesn't work for everyone.
Fear of the Dentist is actually one of the top three phobias.. being up there with fear of spiders and of flying.. So it's actually not unusual to have such a fear. There is a program called "my naked secret" whereby people reveal what they consider their deepest darkest secrets about their physical bodies. on the show, there was a woman who had an EXTREME fear of the Dentists and because of it, despite her teeth literally falling out through the years, she simply would not go... she go to the point whereby she had NO teeth and because of it, stopped socializing and basically wasn't living the life she felt that she and her children deserved.. Then she talks to this therapist whom some how gets her to face her denoms and go to the Dentist (the Dentist being on of the denoms) :) as you can well imagine. Fast forward, she does go in for a denture fitting and eventually has the work down... They don't show all the therapy it actually took to get to that point or every single thing they did in therapy, but if you saw this woman and how terrified she was, then you'd see that it will probably take more than your support (that woman did have the ultimate support of her husband) but even that wasn't enough.. So your sister may need someone who deals with this type of anxiety.. but of course, she has got to want it..
take a look at that show... there might be something online specific to dentists.. I think it's a great show because they discuss so many different things and when you watch it ,whether you have a "secret fear" or not, it's so inspirational.... I think it could help inspire your sister too..
I wish her all the best
Has she tried sedation denistery? There is a buddy mac lee close to Victoria but not in Victoria that specializes in it. Otherwise yes enough is enough. Three times shes gotta find another person to "help" her. Only other option for you would be to trick her. Tell her your going shopping together and move her into the dentist. You have much more patience than I do . I would get mad and tell her to deal with it like a big girl. I have skin phobias and still go to the skin doctor and feel like I am going to pass out. I just talk myself through it. If she is not willing to even accept the help your giving her then I would pass next time she asks.
Perhaps she needs to make a NON-procedure appointment with the dentist so she can be there and not be scared? No idea - but maybe you can call the dentist to ask if he has experience with this and what he suggests. Good luck!
Stop going with her.
She needs a professional Therapist.
Take her to her regular doc and have them give her a prescription for Valium. I cannot go to the dentist unless they are going to knock me out totally. Can't do an MRI either.
Tell the doc you need about 3-4. This works for me. I take one the afternoon the day before, then again that evening. That way I have a very good nights sleep and am a bit "hung over" the next day. Then I take another one the morning of. The soonest in the morning I can get in the better. The Valium takes a few days to really build up in the system so that panic and super size anxiety can't over ride it. This will work for her each and every time she has to go. Once she does this and "if" her other teeth are in semi good shape she can go years without going again. Until another tooth needs to be worked on.
I don't think you'd say I have a 'phobia' of dentists but they sure are not on my list of favorite people. I have to talk myself into going and then just go and hate it the whole time I'm there. I found a dentist that is gentle, works with me if I need to stop for a minute, etc. and can at least make myself get there. Maybe your sister needs to find a more sympathetic dentist but if not you can't keep going off and on and messing up your schedules. Maybe she should do like me and brave it alone. :-( All this to say, I just went to the dentist on Wednesday last week and all the shots he's given never hurt and this one did really bad. Now I have to go in today to see what happened as it's still swollen and black and blue and green. It looks awful...this is my face and jaw I mean. I don't know if he hit a nerve or what. Ever heard of that? Now I'm really more scared of them. But have to go get the permanent crown on eventually. :-( I hope your sister will go back though.
