Defiant at Bedtime

Hi P.,
We are having the same problem with our 3 1/2 year old son. I took everything out of his room except his bed and dresser. I told him when he started going down for naps and bedtime like a big boy again then we would start putting things back in. That worked for naptime but at night he kept running out of his room laughing. We tried putting him back into his bed without saying a word but that didn't work. We started threatening that he wouldn't be able to do certain activities, such as going to the Children's Museum or the library (whatever was on the schedule for the next day). We told him he had to go to bed or he would be too tired to go anywhere. We also woke him up at regular times in the morning and after afternoon naps. This was hard for him because he was getting to sleep so much later. With all of that he is finally starting to get better. He has stayed in bed the last three nights. I keep reminding myself someday we will be yelling at him to get out of bed at noon!
Good luck!

Wow, this is a tough one. My 3 year old went through a phase where she did this. Fortunately, she has never really left her bed so once we put her in, she stayed. She wasn't happy about it though. I guess being consistent would be the key. Maybe you could try a sleep chart. For every 5 nights he goes to bed without a fight, he can do something special, or get a treat or stay up a little late on a Friday night. He could choose his reward. That might help. I'd say that punishing the behavior may make it worse. My daughter has NEVER responded to us taking things away. One time I even went as far as getting a garbage bag and put her toys in it, the little stinker helped me pack up her toys and throw them in the trash. Good luck, sorry I wasn't more help!

my situation isn’t exactly the same, but I have a 27 month old that was slightly difficult (not bad at all) to get to bed and even more impossible to pick up his toys before bed then when I put him to bed after reading 2 stories and signing a few lullaby’s he would cry for the first 5-10 minutes.

2 weeks ago I bought a time out timer and also printed off a rewards chart. I use the timeout timer for timeouts and also for bedtime and naps - I set it for however long i want then tell him when the light turns red it is time to pick up your toys and say your goodnights, HE LOVES IT. He watches it until the light turn’s red then he yells "mommy bed". Then I tell him its time to pick up his toys to get a star, he is so excited to get a star, he gets one on his chart and one on his shirt. He does whatever I ask of him just to get a star. (As I said he is only 27 months old, so it may be different for a 5 year old).

I also put him to bed 1/2 hour earlier (7:30 now) and I found that helped alot. I found this book at wal-mart that is a nursery rhyme book with a cd in it, I read that book before bed, then when I put him in his crib I put the cd in the player and tell him to listen to the lady telling him stories and I don’t hear another peep out of him.

Another suggestion I have heard other people use is to just tell him he has to go to bed to rest, he can read and play in his bed, but he cannot leave his bed. They usually fall asleep in 1/2 hour or so. You could also try putting him to bed earlier, he may be overtired by the time you try to put him to bed.

I hope this gives you at least ideas to maybe try, good luck!

Maybe try waking him up early so he would be more tired at night. Warm glass of milk also could help. Melatonin synthetic version induces sleep. What does he get to do before the bed time? Watching sedating things versus playing action games might help. Is he getting a snack too late? Does he eat breakfast so can do without food after some predefined hr? Preinform him that bedtime is coming in X minutes. Give him options like taking a bath before bedtime. Choice of the last entertainment thing before bed. Tell him your going to sleep too and get in bed and turn out the lights! Play relaxing music prior to bed time. Teach him YOGA and Mental imagery relaxation techniques including deep breathing.

Hi P.,
Maybe you have already tried this, but what I've done before and have found it to work is to put my son to bed quite a bit earlier than his normal bedtime (Like 6:30 when his bedtime is usually 7:30 or 8). When my boys are all out of whack from vacation, etc I have found that I do this for several nights, longer if they are still needing more sleep. After they seem to be adjusted to a more "relaxing" bedtime routine for all, I then gradually work them into the bedtime that would be more normal for our routine, etc. You could then get him into the time you want him to go to bed for school, etc. It seems that they were so tired they were fighting me all the way at bedtime, so I just moved the bedtime up- putting them to bed quite early helped them go to sleep before a major meltdown. It might seem really early at first, but it just might work. :-) My boys are 4 1/2 and almost 3.
Hope this helps some....
Tami

Hi P.,
One thing that really helped at bedtime was special quiet things we did together. When my children went to bed I sat and read to them while they were going to sleep. Their dad would sing to them (usually Christmas carols and off-key but they didn't mind)and we said a bedtime prayer together. The quiet attention helped them settle down and drift off.
Blessings,
G.

If you son went to bed well before vacation, then I would give it a week or two. Every time we come back from vacation it takes us a week or two to get back on schedule, especially if there was a time change. For one, he sleeps in the same room with us on vacation and sometimes in the same bed as he will wake up scared, not knowing where he is. But after a week or two at home, things get back to normal. Just stick to it and keep taking him back to bed. :) Good luck