December, Birthday and Bills

Bake her the traditional birthday cake and in her card let her know she can have a special summer celebration instead... if you make that a tradition it will work well.

why don't you throw a birthday party in the summer for her?? my cousin does that, her son's birthday is just days before christmas, and she has ALWAYS done his birthday in the summer, because it's not fair to tie birthday with christmas for those that can't help it. plus that will give her more options to do for her birthday, such as some type of water party

I think it's a great idea to just do something special with her for the entire day on her birthday. Even January birthdays are tough because I, at least, am still recovering from the Christmas expenses!

Everyone celebrates Christmas but only SHE celebrates her birthday! I would never move it. Find a way to make it work; she only turns 5 once!

Given that she already has a count down going I have to agree with the others and *not* move her party. Birthdays are very special in my house.

Make it about her and her special day rather than the party. Start talking now about (Her Name) Day that is coming up! Make a special breakfast before school, pack a surprise birthday card in her lunch or "hide" handmade cards around the house. She will be happy if you cooked her a favorite meal for dinner, had cake and ice cream after dinner, get her a tiara to wear, and got her a couple of small presents to open, etc.

You could always do a cake at your house and invite the family over for that... no need for a big party at 5 years old anyway... get some party stuff at the dollar store and decorate the dining room... princess style or whatever she is in to... and it should keep the cost down to almost nothing.

Our daughter's birthday is 12/27 and because it is so close to Christmas, we make a SPECIAL effort to make sure her special day is separate from Christmas.

If your daughter is "counting down the days" Please make her day special, even if it is a small family event with a cake and balloons. If you really want to have a party and can afford it..... do it in January.

Don't go into more debt because of the holidays. You are giving a bigger gift by keeping yourself OUT of debt.

I'd actually cut back on the Christmas gifts instead of her birthday. I think everyone 'gets' that it's tough financially for most people. Couldn't you get the grown-ups nicely framed pictures of your daughter? Frames aren't that expensive. You and your husband could get each other an IOU for a dinner date in January.

At 5, she likely WILL think it's unfair to move her birthday because she doesn't understand that a heater, bills, etc are important ;)

Perhaps tell the adults for whom you usually give gifts
that this year you can't.
For the children . . . . make up something creative . . .
perhaps coupon books, w/coupons good for,
for example, a trip to a park or an amusement place
sometime in the spring or summer,
help with homework, a visit to a museum, etc.
About your daughter's birthday party,
depending on her age and (relative) maturity,
she might __appreciate__ having her birthday party
a few weeks after the hubbub of Xmas and New Year.
If appropriate, ask her what she thinks about this.
My son's birthday is 3 days before Xmas
and we (extended family) always combined Xmas
and his birthday party, usually the weekend before Xmas.

I wouldn't move it if she's counting down. Try something that will be very special to her, but not cost too much. Maybe dinner and a movie with just mom? You could take her to icecream after and make it a day she won't forget.
Perhaps a treasure hunt to find her gift? You could get her several dollar store items leading up to one bigger gift. Get creative. There are many inexpensive things you can do to make her birthday great.

As an adult, I can appreciate your situation.......however, I think your daughter would be so sad if she could not have her birthday until later.....especially because she's counting the days!

A cheap girls party I've used was a "Glamour Party".........having all of her guests dressup in their moms (or play clothes) fanciest clothes and sit down for fish sticks (or whatever) to eat on your fine china with a decked out dining table. You could invest in plastic champagne glasses and tie bow around the stem. This could be their party favor, as well, for them to take home.

Once the girls get seated together, the "party" will take care of itself....the girls will have their own "imagination" of how to dress and act......You can use your cake plate as a "cake" full of cupcakes (cheap)......

At age 5, she won't really keep track of who specifically gives her gifts, so I wouldn't worry about giving her anything.........a few friends and family can do that.

I was on a budget years ago, and threw this same party for my step-daughter. We didn't give her a gift........the weather was nice enough to send them out to the neighbors houses on a scavanger hunt (with a heads up note to my neighbors first)....the girls loved it because they got to show off their outfits. The whole party didn't cost me much at all....I served Top Ramen and fish Sticks with Sparkling Champagne and you would've thought they were sitting down at $100 a plate :o)

Anyway, the choice in the end is yours........we moms always put so much pressure on ourselves to create the "perfect party" for our children. It's just not financially possible all of the time.........if you can spare about $25-$30 bucks....you can put on this party for her.........

My step-daughter is now 25 yrs old, and her "Glamour Party" is still talked about with her friends as the best BD party ever :o) And we never got her a gift! It was simply the fun of dressing up together acting "big".......

I hope this idea will work for you and your daughter :O)

~N. :O)

Being a Christmas Eve baby myself, I would have been really hurt if my day was moving to the following month. I'm sure she gets the short end of the stick most years any way (from others, not you). You don't have to do a big party. Just cake & ice cream but do something for her.

I have two boys with December bdays (15th & 20th). We have always celebrated their actual bdays with a dinner & dessert of their choice with immediate family (mom, dad and granny). They get one special present from each of us then. Then we celebrate their bdays with a party some other time of the year - more friends can come because everyone's schedules are less busy and we can do more things. We've had parties in February (bowling), June (swim party 1st day of summer vacation), August (in the park with water structure), September (back yard camp out), October (Halloween). You get the idea - they get to choose the time and theme - my boys love it and their friends think its cool to have a 1/2 or 3/4 or whatever party. Mom & dad usually get another small present as do other family members. Good luck!
PS as a family we've stopped giving gifts to adults - only kids, to cut back on costs. We make small donations to charities in other family members names ($10 to local food bank, $10 toy to toys for tots) and take pics of the boys making the donation and make up a special "certificate" in honor of a family member. My boys love picking the charities/donations and help make the certificates!

Hello R., We have a December birthday as well(the 26th but I was in labor all Christmas Day). What we did when he was very young was have a special Christmas tree just for him and his birthday cards and what ever items he wanted on it. On Dec. 6th we would invite just what ever age he was for friends and have a simple theme like a movie and have popcorn,candy, and juice boxes. It was really fun with movie tickets as the invitation and all very reasonable. When he got a bit older we just changed the month of the party!! So he got a UN-Birthday Party and we let him pick the month. But we always had something for family or just he and us as parents on his Birthday. Good Luck.

My birthday is 9 days before Christmas and my sister's is 2 days after.
It was rough, to say the least, either financially or with everyone being out of town on vacation visiting relatives. We always got cake, our favorite thing for dinner, and one special thing for dinner. For instance, when I turned 10, I got to get my ears pierced. Birthdays were very warm and loving, just celebrated with close family. Usually we would get in the car and go look at all the lights and we just did fun stuff.
But....my father came up with the most fabulous idea.
We celebrated what he called our "un-birthday" on June 21, the first day of summer. We could invite as many kids as we wanted, we went to the park and had bbq's and games and swam and just had a great time. He said it was celebrating us being our age plus 1/2.
Do you know, until he died, he still sent me and my sister cards for our "un-birthday" every year and called us?
There are so many ways to make a birthday special without going all out on THE DAY.
My son is a June baby so we always have his party before school lets out for summer, otherwise, no one would ever be able to come with their vacation schedules, etc. He doesn't mind. He sees it as getting two birthdays.
I wouldn't worry too much. Just do something special on her day and let her know how much she is loved.
My sister and I never felt robbed because our parents were so good at being creative when it came to that.

Best wishes.

My birthday is on December 5 and I have always hated the fact that it is so close to Christmas. I lived through a childhood of "this present is for your birthday AND Christmas". It wasn't my parents but other relatives that did it but it hurt nonetheless. My brother's birthday is in August and he always had pool parties and parties at the park but I always had to just have parties at home where only a few people could come because the weekends were always taken up by family holiday events. My suggestion is to let her pick the day that she wants to celebrate her birthday and stick with that. Since she is so young, it will be easier to start it now and she will be used to it by the time she is ready to start inviting her own friends. My daughter's birthday is exactly one week before mine and I fully planned on doing the above with her had she not been severely developmentally disabled. Still, her birthday falls on Thanksgiving every fifth year so we still have never been able to celebrate on her actual birthday due to holiday stuff and she will be 21 this year. Remember, she will be celebrating her birthday for much longer than you will so starting this now will be an investment in HER life for the future. T.

We have the same problem with my daughter's birthday being December 1st. A few years ago, she agreed to not having a friend birthday, just a small one with family. Instead of having the friend birthday, we had a party at a local park six months later (almost to the day). It was sunny out (which it usually is not in December) and the kids were able to have water gun and water balloon fights in the park. There were also play structures for them to have fun with. I told the parents that there would be a barbeque for all that could come including siblings. You might ask for a potluck type, if necessary. I also asked for no presents. It was not her birthday party, it was birthday celebration with friends. I cannot remember if we got a cake, I don't think so. Maybe some cupcakes or something for you.

Basically what this means is that you don't worry about having to put a lot out now, but transfer it six months when things are hopefully not so tight.

Hope this helps. God bless and birthday greetings for both of our daughters.

Personally, if money were tight, I would cut back on the Christmas gifts and keep the birthday celebration on the actual birthday. I think moving it to January might work if the child were older. A turning-5-year-old is still pretty much into the immediate gratification thing, if she's like most others her age. And especially if you said she's already counting down (my daughter used to do the same thing!) it would be a shame to disappoint her. I think the idea of spending a very special day with you is great! Have her help you plan it. Maybe you could include a couple of her friends. If the family still wants to get together for her birthday, then just have a little something in January. I just think its important to celebrate in some way, within your means, on the actual day.

Hi Momma-
I have 3 ideas: one, the all day with just you 2, like the other mommies said.
two, save up throughout the year -- $20 a paycheck (if you get paid twice monthly, that's $440 before Christmas). If you pull out $20 from each parents paycheck (if you both work) and set it aside, it doubles into a pretty nice lump sum of cash. Then tell her she can invite 1 or 2 friends and take them somewhere like Universal Studios or Disneyland. You can get cheap tickets at Kern Schools in Bakersfield for places like that and Magic Mountain. The invite can ask that each kid bring money for food, but you will provide the tickets. It could be fun!
3rd -- Christmas in July....It's just a saying, but what about moving her birthday to a date chosen by her at a different time of year. On her day, do get her a nice card with a small gift, like dinner out and a movie or pizza in and a new dvd. Then, on her chosen date, that's when you throw the party, so finances don't get totally strapped.
I hear you on the bills thing- my tags are due right after Christmas, all my bills are due by the 23rd of the month....so in August, my hubby and I start taking cash out, little by little, for Christmas presents and what not, It helps some, but it does get tight.
Good luck mama! There are some awesome suggestions to your post!
-E. M

my daughters birthday is 3 days after christmas and for next year for her 5 we are going to do her birthday party in the summer and have a pool party. I would just tell everybody that you are on a budget and won't be able to buy presents for everybody and see if you can just get together and have a nice meal.

I think it would be ok if you recognize her birthday with a special treat of some kind. I have a friend who's son's birthday is also in December and she celebrates his half-birthday instead of his birthday. She does this for a few reasons....one is because the half is in june and you can go outside. Two, it is easier. I personally think it is a little strange, but it works well for their family and their friends always seem to understand.

You can make a special craft day for her instead of a big party. I don't know if you have a "cheap" or cut rate movie theater. We have the original movie theater in one of the malls (before they built on the new and improved one) and the movies are just $1.50 - they are just the movies that are not quite on DVD yet.

I don't see a problem either on waiting an extra month to celebrate either. Times are really tough and it's not going to get any better for awhile either. You have to make sacrifices at times. I know I'm planning on doing a special party for my sons 5th this next year. I also come from a family that doesn't do parties anyway...but I feel my son's 5th birthday should be recognized.

Another idea too - do you think you could set aside $5.00 a week for her birthday bash? It's 8 weeks until the 24th - so that would be $40.00 you will have saved up for it. I know it's not much - but you can get a nice cake / small present for that or a nice present. Just a thought.

Good luck - I hope it all works out for you and just remember to breathe.

Absolutely!! I had a friend who spent the summer in Hawaii with her husband's job and her son turned 4 in August. So they did a party in October at a pumpkin farm. So fun! And TOTALLY acceptable!

Hi,

My December birthday girl is turning two this year, and I decided to throw a small party the first week of November (this weekend). I found out last year that December is a tricky month to plan for this. I'll throw her b-day parties in November until she's old enough to decide when to celebrate (perhaps in the summer!) Anyway, I think this is going to work out well.....and on her actual birthday it will just be a small celebration with family....perfect!!

S.

A small party at your home will do just fine..There isnt a rule that says a child has to have a bday party every year..How about you and her make a bday cake personalized, thats alwasy fun..My 6 year old loves to make his own cakes and cupcakes are even more fun:) Your spoiling her..I am a single mom and i used to feel guilty too but now I just simply say is it a party or Christmas present? My kids no to make choices, they know love doesnt mean how much I buy them its the quality of things we do and the games we play and the time spent together.
As far as the all the goddaughters and godsons..thats hard sometimes a simple card in the mail with a gift card is the easiest..If their parents expect something more in these hard times, then they need advice on their behavior. lol. Honesty is the best policy and , you just simply cant afford it.. Hope this helped

I think that would be fine - I would try explaining to my daughter that more people would be able to attend in January because December is so busy, and I am sure that she would understand and be fine with it. I always just do a little dinner for my kids on their actual birthday - just our normal family, and they get to pick what I make, and then we do cupcakes, or brownies or whatever.....