S.M.
I definitely understand what you're saying. I lost a lot of family & friends at a young age, including my brother, and now that I'm a mom it has made me a bit paranoid and overprotective. I see a therapist now and that helps a lot, she's helping me to focus on the things I CAN control and not dwell on things that are out of my hands. You can make this work for good, you will be a more attentive parent than people who have never experienced loss. You should try to find a good counselor so these worries don't build up on you too much.