Dealing with My Nephew's Death Vs. Miscarriage Vs. Every Day Life.

I would suggest getting some professional help. Two losses.so close. It would be hard for anyone to bear. It sounds like the whole family could benefit from it.
I went to a college orientation and sat next to a very nice young woman who seemed guarded and fidgety. When we went out on her break, she thanked me for being so nice to her. (I'm nice to everybody).
She was afraid that when I heard her name or saw her that I would automatically know she had been in the news for running over her own child. I had heard about it in the local news but never placed the name or anything. She cried on my shoulder because she felt so guilty and felt like everyone who looked at her knew. My heart broke for her. It was an accident. I could tell it was something she might never get over.
I never saw her again. She dropped out.
I just really think that you all should be a united front and get some family counseling. You won't ever get over this, but you may find ways to get past it and be able to move on.
My heart goes out to all of you.

Best wishes.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but when deaths occur in my family we do even more family get togethers. But instead on being in a house, we like to meet at a park, or something like that. The kids get a chance to play together, the fresh air seems to do us good, and just seeing everyone outside of a confined area is nice. I will be honest though....there are times when we do it we all cry together (away from kids of course) and then after that someone will make a joke, or bring in a funy memory of the person who has passed and even with tears in our eyes we laugh. Our spirits are lifted. My heart goes out to you and your family, you are still in my thoughts and prayers.

There is so much pain here where do you begin? You will all have to take care of eachother and stay strong for eachother. Your sister is going to have so much guilt that if her husband and her closest family can just listen to her and watch her as she could spiral into a depression and lots of people consider suicide. She needs immediate help. You have also suffered a great loss and I am sure want to be there for your sis and family but you need time to heal and also make sure you don't fall into a depression. Your whole family needs something to do to regroup. Is there a way as now summer is here, after school lets out you all can go somewhere together as a family like a rent a big house or some kind of compound away from all distractions except for eachother and begin healing together? Maybe inquire from your pastor some sort of retreat? Wherever you would go perhaps you can involve a professional who can have seperate meetings with you all as individuals and as a group? This family has to heal together. And since it is so soon since your losses I am sure their are lots of pent up anxiety and questions and everyone needs a safe place to speak of these things. My heart goes out to you and your family. Remember in your darkest moments when you don't think you could bare one more thing, you are still here, your family is still here and you will all in time heal and hopefully accept what has happened and continue to live your lives.

HI Bethany,
I am sorry to hear about your losses and I have a suggestion for your family. Ft. Worth has a wonderful resource for children who have experienced death. It is called The Warm Place and the phone number is ###-###-####. it is located in the Medical district at 809 Liscomb Street. They have counselors and group therapy and family activities to help children. When I went to the website to get the phone number, it says it now also counsels young adults who are experiencing loss. Several years ago I visited The Warm Place on a "community fieldtrip" and then later that year, I know a family that went and were helped.
We will keep you and your family in our prayers.

I would get involved in a grief support group. By talking about your own experience and listening to others talk about theirs in a guided way helps us to heal. Hospitals have grief groups and you can find others in local freebie newspaper ads and perhaps in the yellow pages.

There are also groups for children who are grieving. Dougy's House is one. Wednesday's Child is another. I think they have places all over the US.

I was in a grief support group after my parent's deaths. They died 2 weeks apart. I learned that there are stages to grief and gained a better understanding of myself and what I needed to grieve. I also learned that it often helps us to repeat our story over and over. Our friends may not be able to hear the story so often but the group can.

One thing that you and your sister can do for each other is to listen to each other. Take turns. Tell each other what you need from each other. If you need and want hugs you can share those. If you want some distance for awhile give each other that.

Individual grief counseling may help, also. There are also good books about understanding and handling grief that can help.

Having both happen so soon after the other feels overwhelming. It's nearly unimaginable that both could even happen let alone at the same time. Know that your feelings are normal and allow time to heal them. Do what helps you and each other. Feel your way along the way while getting information and support from others.

This is going to be difficult for anyone to answer , because no-one really knows what you are going through and how you are feeling. I think I support group would be a good place to start , for yourself and other family members , also the other kids on the family who are old enough to understand that their cousin is no longer with them , and can see the family are hurting so much , but do not really understand the depth of it all would also benefit from a support group or therapist. There is a long road ahead for all of you , and you will need to take each day as it comes.

I wish there was more that I could say , but the truth is I have never dealt with anything like this. My thoughts are with you all.

I feel so bad for your family. My family has been praying for your family.

((hugs)) I wish there was something I could tell you that would take the pain away, but I'm sitting here and am lost. I know how hard miscarriage can be (I had one last December), and to have to go trough that pain followed shortly with a loss of a nephew is way more hard than I can even begin to imagine.

I agree with Shane B. Maybe the best thing would be to see someone who can help you all trough this. Talk to someone one on one who is not family, and who will listen to everything you are going trough, and that see the best way you can deal with it.

It will take time there is no doubt about that, but at least you will not keep it all in!

Hi Bethany,
Even though we're complete strangers, I wish with all my heart I could be right there with you and girl we'd just sit there and cry together until we couldn't anymore. My heart hurts so much for you. I 'm at a loss at what you should do, except allow yourself to grieve. The healing will come in time. Your sister.....I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through.
Life will never be the same, not like it was before without this little precious boy, but eventually....maybe little by little.....one day......you get stronger as you go.

I am so sorry for your losses!! I wish there was something I can say or do for you, but I will praying for you all!

I'm not C., although my prayers are with you. What i/we have done in my family is upon arrival to anywhere take a survey as to who you see and who sees you. Make it a habit to back into the driveway with windows down & radio off. My three got the understandin of STOP when they got the full swing of walking almost running. STOP can be a matter of life & death. The KEY word can also be ASSOCIATED with the childs name, meaning all the same "FREEZE" without using the word FREEZE! While on a bike, with a toy walking, running or playing.....
THE CHILD FREEZES & GAINS IMMEDIATE EYE CONTACT!!!!!
While backing IN can be a task itself, it can be still easier than backing OUT! While pullin out you can still see the front of the vehicle almost the same as while you were approaching it!
DONNELL..........

Bethany, Your situation brings me to tears every time you post. I am so, so sorry for your loss, both of them.
Is there a grief counselor around? For everyone, you, your sister and BIL especially, and the grandparents?
MAybe there is one who has dealt with children's deaths.
There are so many emotions and phases of grief.
Know that we are praying for healing for your family.
God Bless you.

I'm praying for you and your family Bethany! I'm in tears reading your posting, I can't even image what you are going through, the lost of your child and nephew is so overwhelming... I encourage you to get Steven Curtis Chapman's latest CD "Beauty Will Rise"; his son ran over his daughter around 2 years ago, this CD was part of his healing process.
I'm praying for your family,
God Bless!