Dealing with Leaving 4 Yr Old at Pre-school!!!

Most of the other ladies had some advice on how this is a phase of life, and it is. I've been a SAMH for 13 years! My best advice, tell her how much fun she's going to have, but don't tell her you'll miss her a lot....tell her you'll see her when preschool is over in the afternoon (or whenever) and that you're going to have fun, too. Then find something that will occupy your time while she's away. Start a project that you can do while your 2 year old is napping, that you wouldn't normally be able to do, because you have a 4 year old underfoot (like painting a room, or sewing something, or meal planning, etc.). Make sure it's something you'll enjoy, and treasure that "me" time. :)

That's my best advice. I'm sure you'll do just fine, and so will she. We moms have been doing this for ages! LOL! It will also making her starting kindergarten next year that much easier for both of you.

Pick a hobby, and have fun doing it. Or maybe plan a nice lunch with a girlfriend once a week. Believe me, the time will fly.

Good luck!
S.

When I left my first son at pre-school I was very exited for him, but at the same time I wasn't ready for him to be a "big kid" yet. We talked about how much fun he will have and all the new friends he will meet, weeks before school. On our way to his class for the first time I had "wet eyes" as he used to call it. He turned to me and said, "Bye mom I'm gonna go find some friends." He was gone, the room was full of fun and excitement. I knew everything would be fine, it was way harder for me than him. Needless to say he is my big 2nd grader and does amazing in school!! He was very excited for school to start. I thank the preporation is the key to pre-school. hope i helped you out.A.

I've never had to leave my kiddos at preschool but I was a preschool teacher for years. I can tell you that the transition will be easier on her if you don't act out of sorts with her. Don't act stressed, because she will definately pick up on your emotions and feed off of it. Another thing is, when you drop her off daily, get a routine down. I had one parent that took her child potty, walked her to me, told her to have a good day and left every single morning. If the crying starts, keep going. It will make it worse if you hang around the classroom. I would suggest to make one call to the teacher during naptime to ask how she's doing. Calling during the day when the teacher is with the children will interupt the class and is hard on them when the teacher has to leave the room. Nap times are better or ask the teacher what time would be a good time to call.
I hope this helps, goodluck, I know I'd be a wreck too.

K. - I don't really have any advice for you....just wanted to tell you that you are not the only one feeling that way! My twin boys (3 yrs old) will be starting preschool next week. I am in the same boat as you - a SAHM who has never left them before. I have been so excited about this day, waiting to have some time to myself. But, as the time approaches, I get more and more nervous! I know that they'll be fine, it's good for them, etc......but I can't help feeling a little sad. I'm quite surprised by the apprehensive feelings I'm having about this little adventure! :) I know that they're going to cry and be upset (especially one of them) because they tend to be kind of clingy anyway. I guess that's what bothers me the most - just knowing that I have to see them get upset and then "walk out" on them. It is somewhat comforting to know that other moms feel the same way! Hang in there - you'll get through it!!

A.

Schedule yourself a pedicure and manicure. It'll help take your mind off and you'll both get some "independent time".

K., look at it this way. On the one day that she is gone that gives you and your son some time to yourselves. Take him to lunch or to a park or take him somewhere to do something fun. I only have one child right now but I still take her to lunch once a week just the two of us. She loves it because she still gets to play with other kids but she gets the time with mommy to. I know I will probablly be a mess just like you when she starts school but I still have another 3 years. Take that one day to do something special either by yourself or with your son. If you keep yourself busy she'll be back before you know it. If it makes you feel any better I'm sure she has adjusted just fine. My neice just started kindergarden this year and we thought she wouldn't like it and not want to go back...it was the opposite...she loves it and can't wait to go back! Give yourself some time!

She'll be fine, you need to be brave in front of her so she's not scared. The best thing to do it walk her to her class room greet the teacher, hug your daughter bye then let her walk in..don't hang around..I used to teach and it was hard to get the child calmed down if the parents didn't just "drop and leave" nine times out of ten minutes after the parent is gone the child id fine..for you once you drop her off meet friends for coffee and relax; you're doing the right thing for her by getting her ready for school. Good luck

Hi K.,

Same happened to me when I had to leave my little one on her first day of preeschool, I even cryied.....and took off really slowly like I didn't want to leave, I know of some moms that stay in the parking lot all the time for the first few days....I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and you are not loosing it!
Talk to your daughter about school, tell her and make sure that she understand that she will be there for a short time and then you will pick her up. Minimize stress on her and you will feel more confortable knowing that she will be alright. Hopefully she will like it and will come home all happy and you will feel a lot better the next time.
That is usually what happens, kids like being there with new toys and other kids to play with. Don't think of them as stangers...cause they are not! They are experienced teachers and school staff that know what they are doing and also talk to the director or principal and let her know that if your daughter wants to go home, she can call you and you will pick her up, so if she cries, you 'll know and can get her home untill she gets used to.
I never had to go back and pick my girls up, but I was ready for it just in case, I didn't want my girl to be one of those kids that cries all day untill pick up time.
To me, the first steps are mainly sociable, so I did want her to have a great experience, get used to it and socialize with other kids her own age.
Does she want to go to school? It is really important that you help her with that, tell her that she'll be going to be with other kids and new toys and a great playground and other adults that can help her with anything she might need.
You can also ask the principal if you can stay around (without your daughter knowing of course) for a while(5 min). I did that my first day with my youngest (she wasn't even 3! but she wanted to go to school like her sister) I heard no crying so I left.
I even peak and she was already interacting with other kids.
It has to happen sometime.....you are not alone here....
Believe me, the hardest part will be when your little boy start school and you look back in your car and see those empty seats.....You will be alone for the very first time....it can be sad but you will also learn to enjoy some freedom too.
I am goint through that right now! snif, snif....
You'll get used to sooner than you think. Let us know how it goes....
Big Hug!
Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsfirst.com

Most of the time the parents are worried about all the possibilities that could go wrong. And yet nothing usually does go wrong. Parents are also worried the child will be scared, lonely and asking for Mom. But usually the child doesn't think about the mother at all until it's time to go home. Sure some kids do. But not most.

In other words, the parents have a much harder time than the kids do. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. Does your daughter know your home phone # and that she can call you if she needs to?

I'm sure you both will do ok. It's just one of many phases in your/her life.

Suzi