Daycare or Grandparents?

Ok, I'm late to the party but I wanted to add a thought here... I'd ask my husband point blank if he objected to me going back to work or didn't like my parenting if I were you. This situation is so insane I can't believe there isn't more to it.

Don't do it. You will regret missing out on that year of his life if you do. Cherish these younger years, they go by so fast.

Good for you (Yes, I know I am late). Keep us posted on how things go. Remember that yes, the first 3 years are important, but a good day care works with that also. Basically it is either daycare here or daycare there. Being with mom and dad is the most important. Best of luck!

Do WHAT? This is even a considered option? What is wrong with your husband?

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be mean, but seriously? You MIL AND your husband are on board with this? This is absolutely NOT OKAY.

Your son needs his mom. Period. Not once every three weeks - every single day - even if it's only a couple of hours each day.

You need to get MORE stubborn than your MIL and husband combined. Let your mamabear out. This is not okay and it's not okay that they're ganging up on you to get you to do it.

Daycare is generally an incredibly enriching experience for most children. Isolating them with adults all day can actually be detrimental to their social development. Especially as they hit two and up. Most stay-at-home moms realize this and do everything they can to get their children social time with other children as much as possible. Will you MIL do this?

Seriously - this is not okay in any way. If your MIL is upset that she doesn't see your son as much as she'd like, then she needs to get moving and come to you.

Just no.
No way, no how.
Your MIL is done raising kids and if she wants to raise more, she'll have to look elsewhere.
Your son will be fine in daycare and you'll see/be with him every day.
What is your husband thinking to want to send his own child away like this?
Won't HE miss him?
You are the Mama and there is no reason for your son to be sent away.
Your husband needs to figure out who he's married to and it's not to his mother.
If anything, I'd consider moving farther away from her.
It doesn't look like 125 miles if far enough away.
Additional:
Her working at a day care changes nothing.
He's your son.
He lives with you.
You put him to bed every night and see him every day.

It is very important at this stage in your son's life that he be around other children to be able to socialize with them, learn to share, learn to take turns, have conversations with his peers, learn to take directions from someone other than his parents, the list goes on and on.

Your child needs YOU everyday. He needs to sleep in HIS bed and in HIS house. Your MIL is being selfish here by insisting that your child go to live with her. I can't quite figure out why your husband thinks this is a good idea and I don't want to speculate because something really mean might come out of my fingers! This is a bad, bad idea on so many levels.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow your husband to talk you into sending your child away. He needs his mama and his daddy daily. DAILY!

Definitely don't send him there all week. The mornings and nights are important time together.

The idea of your son moving away to live with his grandparents so he doesn't have to go to daycare is crazy. Talk about doing him harm. No question. Put him in a good daycare.

Could there be more to this story that maybe you are unaware of? Are there any probelms in your marriage? Be careful and good luck!

Honestly, this seems like a very bizarre situation. Can your MIL move IN with you guys and go to HER house on weekends?? I would NOT send my child away for any reason at any point. Lots of parents work. Lots of kids go to daycare. It's not as if you're working insane hours or as if you're going to be deployed. Don't be bullied into someone taking your son away. I just can't fathom being away from my little guy for time periods like you describe--how is this a consideration?

Otherwise why don't you just hold off on going to work until he turns 3?

Is your husband's family Asian? I have heard of this in the nail salons around here. Many of the people will send their young kids to their parents or grandparents in the homeland while the parents work to support them. I think its wierd!! But, anyhow, I personally would not do it. The only difference between you and most every other working mom is.....oh wait nothing, kids go to DAYCARE and visit grandmas on the weekends unless they live very very close because time spent with moms and dads is precious and vital to building strong and secure bonds. Stick with your gut. You are the mom, you are the one raising your son and if you give him away during the week, then you are not raising him, she is. At daycare you get to help with rules, you get to interact, you get imput, and you get accurate (hopefully) feedback about what you son did for the day. I don't see you getting it from her. I know working is hard, but doing without that bundle of joy to come home to would be worse! Oh, and you can always move his bedtime to later so that you can see him more, well if he can sleep later too. Good luck in being strong and standing your ground. Remember, you're the mom.

Absolutely NO WAY would the MIL situation work. You are the parents and you should be the most important part of your kids life. If your MIL is the one watching him all day, putting him to bed most nights, taking care of him when he is sick, you will become a part time person in your son's life. Either MIL should come to your house and stay during the week and she can go home on the weekends or your son goes to daycare. Period.

What the hell?

NO WAY. NO HOW. That boy needs his MOM and FAMILY. Not your MIL. How controlling and selfish of her. And, what the heck is wrong with your husband. How could he WANT that?? Does he even want a child to care for? There would be BIG issues in my marriage, if my husband advocated for this.

Do NOT let them bully you. You are the mom. You keep your child in your home. Don't you even consider their stupid idea. I can tell you, I'd be telling MIL right where she can go, and I'd tell my husband to go with her.

insane option. do not consider.
khairete
S.

You are right. Don't let your stubborn MIL or husband bully you in this.

Absolutely do not send your child away from you for such long periods of time.

This is an essential period in your child's development...the time where he builds attachments and bonds with his mother and father. Sending him away can severely hinder his development and cause major problems in the future.

Daycare is absolutely the best solution in this situation, if you HAVE to keep your job. You'll still have your child every night and can establish a comfortable schedule for everyone. Keep him close to home. If MIL wants to keep him...tell her to move closer. 125 miles is WAY too far away. This is your child...protect him.

I'm sorry, but that's just crazy, and I don't think it should even be a question. He needs to be home with you guys and hopefully he will benefit from the socialization and activities he will have in day care. Your home is his home - not your MIL's. I can't believe that your MIL and husband expect you to just go along with having him gone from you during for that long (up to 2 weeks!) that far away. Millions of kids are in day care every day and they are fine - if I was in the same situation, it wouldn't even occur to me to have my child away from home for the whole week just so she could be cared for by a grandparent. It would be different if Grandma was watching him during the day but he was still home with you guys every night. Grandparents are wonderful but who says she's going to be able to really take optimal care of him 24/7 for 5 days straight every week (or more)? How much gas will be used and wear and tear on the cars from driving an additional 250 miles every week? Not to mention that that is about another 4 to 5 hours every week just spent driving in the car. Like someone else mentioned, maybe having her stay with you guys for the week would be a better option if they are that opposed to day care. But stand your ground and stay firm - as far as what they think should be done, absolutely not. They may be really stubborn but you'll just have to be more stubborn. You are the mom - they can't just force you into this.

Read where you added that MIL works at a day care - I still say no way. Your son needs to be home in his house with you guys every night and on weekends. Period.

No way in hell would I agree to this. You need to put your child in daycare if you have to work.

My gut instinct says, "DAYCARE"! I can't imagine an arrangement of literally handing your child over to the grandparent 125 miles away. You are the mother and no matter what job, it would not be worth not seeing him grow, change, and be able to take care of him.

You would have to think about LEGAL implications with an arrangement like that, having them responsible for his medical needs, being able to take him to the Dr., what if he had an injury, accident, what then?? They would have to have authorization or power of attorney to make those kinds of decisions.

I see red flags all over this idea. You say that MIL is very stubborn, your husband sides with them?? What if something happened in your marriage that would cause such a rift that they could be setting this up to take him away from you.

You asked, this is my opinion. Do you have any close friends or your own family closer? I say nix the MIL, or let them come to your house. Maybe look at different job options for different hours?

wow i am so sorry you have to face this choice! i seems like you want day care... i would talk to your husband again. IF he will not budge and you are not willing to leave over this, then tell him to figure out how to live on his salary for another year unil your son can start nursery school (which for some reason appears to be more acceptable than daycare)......

Absolutely NO WAY would I ever send my child to live with someone else. Daycare is awesome (as long as you pick a good one). Daycare will not stunt his development. He needs to see his mama every day. Keep your child with you and send him to a good daycare. Good luck.

Daycare!! At first when I read the subject line I was going to say grandparents for sure, but not if it means you only get to see your child only on the weekends. No way! I know I could never do that. If you do, be prepared that he will come to think of grandma as his primary caregiver as that is essentially what you would be giving up.
Stand your ground. If you have to go back to work, you get to decide what is best.
God Bless,
A.

I personally can't even imagine sending my kids to live my parents or in-laws (no matter how much I trust/love them!) for a week or two at a time. I understand your MIL's good intentions here but putting your son in some form of day care is not going to be that "damaging" to his development. There are various forms of daycare you could look into that you and your son are comfortable with..... a traditional daycare center, a homebased daycare (a daycare run out of someone's home), a nanny coming to your home, etc. There are millions of families out there who, out of neccessity, have their child/children in daycare. Again my response is in no disrespect to your MIL because I think she has the best intentions but I think having someone else watch (daycare/nanny) watch your child during the day and then being able to come to his mommy & daddy, have dinner with you, play with you, and do "normal" bedtime routine with his parents is a much healthier decision for everyone. Regardless, wouldn't you miss that little guy sooo much! :) Even if you only have early mornings and evenings with eachother (and EVERY weekend/holidays too!) you can look forward to spending quality time with one another during that time. Its far more time that once a week or once every other week. And lastly, please remember this is YOUR child. Not your mil's. I think what makes this decision for you really difficult is that you and your husband aren't on the same page. I would suggest you discuss more with your husband. Best wishes for an easy transition to your family's new schedule. :)

No, no, no, no, no - if they lived next door or 25 minutes away where they could drive to you, SURE it would be better if he were cared for DURING WORKING HOURS by his grandparents. BUT, there is NO WAY IN HELL that arragement would work for me of not seeing my child when I get home.

IF they want to watch him and be a part of his care/life till he goes to school and then after school, they can move closer. If you want that. Cause maybe you don't want them to live closer if she's like this all the time.

Per your edit - this makes it an even BIGGER NO - as she wouldn't be the primary caregiver, he'd just be going to another freaking daycare in another freaking town. WOW, she's got some nerve. Let your protective mamabear out and put your foot down on this one.

Absolutely not!!!!! This is a crazy option! To uproot your child from his home and not see him? And not even for individual care, but to be put in daycare with 12 other kids (even if your MIL is the teacher, she's still got the rest of the kids to care for)

If you can get your child down for a nap from 3:00 - 5:00 (or possibly 3:00 - 5:30) then he could could be up until 9:00 PM and that would give you a three hours a night with him.

You must absolutely put your foot down and say no. This scenario they propose is a non option. Show them the answers here and schedule a consult with a child psychologist for you and your husband if you are still battling this out with him. I can assure you that no one who is trained/knowledgeable in child development will suggest this option.

ABSOLUTELY NOT! You are his mom. He NEEDS time with you every day - even if it's just a little. Go with your gut. Stand your ground on this one. Stubborn or not, it's not your MIL's call. In fact, she should have no say in the decision whatsoever.

yup caught this late but H*LL NO! Are they crazy? He's a baby and being away from you all day is going to be change enough. Not to mention he is YOUR son, not theirs, it may be well intentioned but it just sends off all sorts of warning bells in my mind.

He is your son. He is not her child. Even if she is a young grandparent, there are usually glaring differences in values in the raising of a child. As long as you can still get money enough to be ahead of the game then place him either in daycare or contact your local school for people who do in home daycare. You WILL see your child every night. The only reason to do it is if you would lose your ability to keep a roof over your heads.

Speaking from experience... Don't Do It...

Keep your precious son with you. An entire year away, even with visits, will devastate him and his trust of you.

I am speaking from very personal experience. I took a promotion at work when my DD was 2 years old and I had to move states. I could either take my daughter with me and find another daycare where I would be temporarily for only 6 months, or leave her with her dad, as we were divorced already, and he would keep her in the same daycare.

I foolishly thought she would be happiest staying with the same routine and she would be with her father, and new step mom.

All I can say, is that I was totally wrong. She had nightmares which turned into horrible night terrors that lasted for a couple of years. She was mad and angry at me and did not have the verbal skills to tell me. She missed me so, so much. And I was given a free ticket home 2x month for a long weekends. It was not enough.

That is the biggest decision I have regretted most in my life, is leaving her behind, thinking we would all come out for the better. Uh-uh, there is only one mommy, and you are it. Grandma is not mommy. Grandpa is not daddy.

That is too, too far away.

Oh God NO you need to see your son every day and he needs to see you! If he's going to be in a daycare with your MIL anyway how on earth is that a better option? Why would your husband even think that? This is just really odd, do you think your husband just wants a "break" from your son during the week?
Who cares how "stubborn" your MIL is, it's YOUR child, she has NO say!
No way, get him in a quality program as close to your home/work as you can.

are they kidding?

read the responses below. then add me to the list.

I think every kid needs to be home with their parents, just my opinion. Of course there are time when they have to go with someone else and sometimes on a more permanent basis, but if all is well in the home, they need to be home.

I think if you allow him to go with the grandparents for such an extended period of time, you will lose control of him. He will no longer see you as the parents.

This is your child and you have a say in it as well. You can do this easily by preparing meals on the weekends and freezing them or simple meals, which he will appreciate at this age. There is plenty of time for him to spend a week with grandma down the road. Talk to your daycare and ask how they handle vacation time to hold his spot. My daycare charges $60/week.

He needs to be home with his mommy and daddy. Put your foot down!! If your MIL and husband still are persistant then you could give them 1 other option. Dear MIL can come stay at your house each week and go home on the weekends. Bet that won't fly with FIL and hubby probably dosn't want his mom at your place all week either. It's better for your child to be at home and during the days in Daycare with other children his own age. How is it possibly better for him to be with two elderly people all day and no other children to play with. Have you thought about caring for 1 or two children in your home that way you could stay home with your son, do field trips, library and other fun outings with the children. Thats what I started out doing years ago when my children were little, it worked out pretty good.

It's either your lose a job or the kid goes to daycare. Your MIL has nothing to do with what goes on in your house. PERIOD.

I have to agree with the majority of the responders that the child should not be with MIL otherwise you have lost your child and you might as well move on to another life with another man. You won't have a family. Your son will be a stranger to you with hostile thoughts because mom "gave me away" to MIL to raise. Think about how you need to grow a good strong set of balls and you use them to stand your ground. MIL didn't go through the labor you did to deliver this child.

Good luck to you and your family. Time to learn how to stand up to hubby dictating waht is going to happen because he is a bully.

The other S.

heck no I wouldn't let him go. Your son needs his momma, everyday, at this age. What happens if he cries and wants you, and you are not there, for 2 more weeks? Grandmas are great, but I think this is a control issue with her, and I would not give in. Your husband needs to think about his son, and not his momma.

I think your MIL has raised her children and she needs to let you raise yours. Ay his age he needs to see you every day even if only in the evening. Please do not allow your MIL to do this.

Daycare. Definitely daycare. No doubt.

I personally would do daycare. Even if your inlaws lived closer to you, that can become really undependable (just as a home daycare can)...personal emergencies and/or health issues become YOUR emergency and cause you to miss work. You also run into the problem that the line between grandma and mom gets blurred and harder to manage. In your case it would also pose the problem of your son having to adjust now to being away from you and dad all the time and then adjust to being away from grandma and grandpa in a year...that's a lot for a little guy in just one year. He's young enough that he won't understand the why but just feel you left him. A good daycare will provide social interaction with kids his age, age appropriate activities, and a good schedule.

If MIL and hubby are that set on MIL keeping him and you are ok with it other than the distance and time away from him, let her come stay with you during the week (even if you pay her weekly travel expense home). Even then, you have the other concerns that I listed but you do compromise with them. Another option would be to plan ahead and schedule for him to spend time with inlaws on every daycare closing.

I'm late, too, but never ever would I have my child separated from me like that. Never.

Hell would have to freeze over solid (not just flurries or a light dusting of snow........COMPLETELY SOLID) before I would only see my child every other weekend for a year.

*****unless

**Is there some unhealthy environment/choices/situation that you are trying to avoid your son being influenced by? ie - is one of you detoxing? getting anger management/abusive behavior under control? you're doing phone sex as a career and you don't want him to hear? (Even that..... I wouldn't give up my kid for...... just insulate a room with egg cartons).

**Are you (or your husband) unfit or severely mentally ill in some way that renders you unable to care for you son? One or both of you can't get out of bed until the middle of the day? Emotionally abusive... yelling, insults? Are one of you in danger of molesting your son?

**is there a behavioral issue with your son that you feel your MIL is more equipped to deal with that you feel, for some reason, you could not learn to adapt in order to help him cope with whatever is going on? If you and your hubby need parenting classes, extra support etc.... there are services available.

You say the first 3 years are the most important.... I actually would disagree. I think the FIRST 18 are most important.

One additional note...... "daycare" at 2 should be viewed as "pre-school". Your son will be learning things (make sure the day care you choose has a curriculum) while you are at work. This is NOT the same as handing him over to someone else to raise. So, your evenings and weekends are IMPORTANT so that you bond with him, teach him things, incorporate him into your FAMILY.

Why does your husband want to give up that time with his son? Why does your husband want YOU to give up that time with your son?

I don't understand how this is a real scenario? Please give us more detail.

I can't believe your husband wants to "give away" his son for weeks at a time!

I would never send my child away with anyone for weeks at a time. Your son is young and needs you and his dad. I would think it would be more damaging to send him away to grandma's then to go into daycare.

Go to care.com and find someone who does in home daycare. Make sure you do a background check and check out their references. I know daycare is hard but your son needs you even if it is just in the evenings. 2 yr olds get sick all the time with colds and such and he needs his mommy there! How hard that your husband sees this differently. Hold your ground and maybe the two of you should go talk to someone professionally. There seems to be other pieces to this than just the daycare. Please expand your support system because I think you have your hands full with this bunch. You need people there for you as you make decisions that are best for your child.
Blessings

My first recommendation would be to lose the job and stay home with your son. Obviously since you have not been working for 2 years you are doing okay without the income. Treasure the time you will have with him over the next few years before he starts school, and find another job then. There are other jobs out there. Your son will only be little once.

If you did chose to go back to work though, I would absolutely INSIST that he stay in a daycare in your city and he come home to YOU. He is YOUR son. Period.

No no no! I'm all for grandparents watching the kids, but your situation isn't good. He won't even be at home with your MIL he'll be in a daycare! That's even crazier. Your son will definitely bond with his grandparents and it will make your weekends a living hell. You'll miss out on so much. Don't do it.

Hug to you. Hang in there, mama.

Oh man I wouldn't even consider it! Who cares if your MIL is stubborn, she is NOT the parent. I don't get your husband. Why on earth would he want to send your baby away for a year???? This would be a deal breaker in my marriage if he did not back down. I would leave my husband before sending my child away. Please, set them both straight in no uncertain terms that your baby is NOT leaving!!!!

Your son is only young once, don't miss it! There is nothing wrong with daycare at the age of two. My firstborn was in daycare and is now at the top of his class. Maybe they would respond better to a home daycare situation until your son is older? I would not cave-in though, as a mother you deserve to have your son with you, not your MIL. Good Luck!

There would be NO way I'd ever send my child to pretty much live with my MIL!! The mornings and nights and weekends you have with your son are important. Your son would most likely get confused on who his mom is. Shame on your husband for siding with his mother. That's ridiculous.

Your MIL should be the one seeing your kid once every week or two not the other way around.

Don't let them bully you into thinking that situation is "best" for YOUR kid. If MIL doesn't like it, too damn bad. Who's kid and decision is it ultimately up to? YOU.

If my MIL ever tried to do this to me I'd tell her where she could go. No way for me. My baby my decision, end of discussion. I love my hubby but there's no way he could convince me this was a good idea in the least.

don't do that. from 2 to 3 years old is a big change and he will do all the milestones with your mother in law. if your doing it for the cost I would look into some help for paying your daycare but I would not give up my child for basically what sounds like a year.

It's not appropriate for your son to live with grandparents and see you once every week or two in order for him to avoid daycare. He is your child. Please don't abandon your son. He is not better off living with his grandparents. Daycare just means that he spends several hours a day away, working parents don't typically send their child away from their home to be raised by someone else. It'll be traumatic for him and then again for him to move back home after a year. What would he gain by being raised by his grandparents for a year til age 3?

Home with you in daycare. Non negotiable IMO.

Hi M.. If i were you i would definitely go with daycare not grandma. Yeah you may only see him a couple of hrs each night but atleast you will see him. I personally could not be away from my kids. Sounds like grandma is being very pushy, is she always like this with you? sounds like she may be trying to take your spot in your son's life, i may be completely wrong but why send him off the grandmas' if even she will not be spending all that time with him? even if she was in his classroom, he needs to be with you. Stand your ground M. or she will try to make all kinds of decisions over u.

Ummm, no way.

That child needs his home, he needs his mom and dad. If they lived in the same town then for sure I would let them babysit. Paid too. Anyway. Tell her no, you are a normal person and your child will go to child care like normal kids.

This is from a grandparent raising grandchildren too. So I fully understand the legalities and the roles very well. They would have to have some authority through the court system in order for your child to have any sort of medical treatment, even the ER and their choice of a pediatrician.

When the child goes to stay with someone besides the natural parent for some length of time the parents and grandparents can go to the local pediatrician and local ER and ask in the business office if they have certain forms that they use for permission to treat a non custodial person. They often do have such a form. They require the parents and the other party to both sign the papers in front of them and use a notary.

The problem with this is if something happens when the main office is closed. Then the staff does not have the ability to access the paperwork. They can actually refuse to treat the child, or not call a judge to get a court order for permission to treat.

Going through the court system for a limited guardianship is a really good way to go in these circumstances. It is a court paper that gives explicit authority to the party watching the child and it does not remove any legal custody from the parents whatsoever. They get a copy of the court order and they can carry it all the time. Since it is a court order it is legally binding and whomever it is shown to must obey it.

But still, your child needs to live in his home.

Please don't let him go. LIke you said, the first 3 years are incredibly important for development, and I believe parenting!!! If you are not present, you basically are not the parent. I would fear a "dis-attachment" from you and your husband if this were to happen. Most working parents I know, usually only get to see their kids in the evenings and weekends, and they make the most of that time together. Keep him with you and cherish those times together and do fun stuff! If he's away, you'll miss out on so much and so will he. I would feel like my arm was cut off if my kids were that far away from me for that long. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking that way.

Good luck, and hopefully your husband will come around. You become parents to actually "parent" your kids. Not send them away and only see them occasionally.

Absolutely daycare. My son was in daycare from 9 weeks of age and I think it was a great choice. You will be the parent, not your MIL. You can find a daycare that will conform to your parenting style - you cannot change MIL's parenting style (if you wanted to). Your daycare will feed your son what you feel is best not what MIL does. They will discipline as you feel is appropriate. If not, you will find a center that fits with what you want. You can't find another MIL. I think if you want a good relationship with MIL, she should be the grandmother and you should be the mother. Best of luck.

Ignore your mother in law's wishes. Politely tell her that you are his mom and your child needs to be raised by you and not go live with her. (I find her request VERY strange). Don't let her or your husband bully you or persuade you. Find a nice day care nearby - good luck! With my son I had to go visit about 10 different places before I found one I liked. It was a home daycare with 5 other kids and the woman who ran it was AWESOME. She was such a great match for my son and he had a blast there. It was like a little preschool for very active children who like to get out and do stuff. :)

Your instincts are right. Keep your child living with you. Stand your ground. this is YOUR child! Good Luck.

Hi--
Just wanted to re-inforce your own thoughts. Keep the baby with you :-)
J.

I think I sent a flower to everyone as we all agree it's CRAZY to basically trade roles and have her be mom you get to visit your own child! As other posters have said, perhaps she should stay w/you. I'm repeating others, but you need to see your child every day even if it's for a few hours. This arrangement would damage your relationship with your child. I can't imagine sending my kid away like this!

Stay firm Mama!!! Daycare can be great for your little one. My son always went to daycare and he is fine. It was easier to send him to Kindergarten b/c he was used to us being apart in a "school-like" environment.

I can't imagine why your husband would be okay with this, but keep your foot down that this is your baby and you're the mama!!!!

Go with daycare. You need to see him every day. Just spend some time finding the right daycare, whether it be a commerical one or a home daycare.

My daughter left her job last year as a public school teacher to stay home with her baby, and has started a home daycare. She is so good at what she does, nurturing and teaching babies to preschoolers that her children's parents don't have to worry.

If a place doesn't feel right, then keep looking. When my kids were little, I paid 3 deposits and went through 3 daycares before I found the right one. (One place only had the offices air conditioned, not the children's areas-and this was in Phoenix!)

I was going to say that since your child is over 2 yrs. Old, it won’t be too bad to be exposed to Child care germs; but now that I see that he would be in a Daycare setting anyway, what’s the point of your MIL having him there? These are critical years for the bonding between you and your child and that can be harmed if you don’t see him often.
As a somewhat personal story, my cousin lived with my grandparents during the week because my aunt worked and was a single mother, so she was only with my cousin on weekends; I believe that has affected her all her life and the way she sees family, even as an adult and mother of grown children herself. I’ve only seen her being affectionate towards my grandmother (granted, I don’t see her often) and calls her own mom once every month or two.
So unless you were sick and couldn’t possibly take care of your child, keep him with you, a couple of quality hours a day with mom is better than a couple weekends a month, or believe me, he will believe you left him for your convenience (I know that wouldn’t be the case) and that will probably damage your relationship.
Good luck to you!

Sounds like you already know what you are going to do.....and I absolutely think you are right. Your son needs to be with you. He is your baby...you make the decision. There are plenty of good, quality child care options out there. Find one you like and trust and keep your son with you where he belongs! Stay strong, Mama! You know what is best. Trust your gut.

I would not even consider an option that meant seeing my own child every other weekend. A loving, good daycare by your work is your best choice. Grandma won't be giving him individual attention if she is working at another daycare anyway. It is better for you to have all of his evening not Grandma. At 2, I think he would find it traumatic to be given away to grandma and just have weekend visits with Mom.