Daycare Issue - Woodland,CA

Unless it was acid there is nothing inherently harmful about being wet. My kids used to sweat a lot and be wet almost every nap, yes we ran the AC, they were just little space heaters.

Anyway to me they did the right thing, I would rather let my kids sleep than change damp clothes. After all if they actually were uncomfortable they would wake up and cry as most babies do when they need something.

So considering he was comfortable enough to sleep, where it the neglect? Is there something else going on here?

I never would have woken a sleeping baby. If being wet didn't make him uncomfortable enough to wake him up I would have left him.

the daycare providers have no way of knowing what's paramount to each individual parent. you may think it's negligent to let him sleep in damp clothes, another parent might be infuriated if they woke her sleeping baby.
what i don't get is why he was put down with a bottle. i'd definitely want to know what's up with that.
khairete
S.

I am with suz T!

I RARELY EVER woke a sleeping baby. It was kind of a 'cardinal rule'.

I would be concerned about the bottle. Even if he had fallen asleep in the swing with a bottle, they should have taken it away when he fell asleep.

More than that, why were they not cuddling him while feeding him?

Best!

Not knowing more details, thus based only on what you said I would also have not woken him. If he were uncomfortable he would wake up on his own. Wet clothes do not hurt a baby. Are you happy with his care otherwise? If so let this pass.

I might spend more time talking with his caretakers so I would know them and trust them to care for my son. I would also visit snd observe even tho nothing untoward had happened. I did this with my daughter's and grandchildren's ccaretakers. I knew them well enough I was comfortable with them. When I had questions about there care it was easy to find out what had happened. We talked until I understood and either felt ok with ehat happened or the two of us came up with a plan for next time.

If having him dry is important to you ask them to wake him up and change him if this happens again. Your relationship with your son's caretakers is important and worth cultivating.

I suggest you research practices at daycares. I know that at the daycare my child goes to this wouldn't have happened because:
1) babies aren't allowed to sleep in swings, only with someone holding them, or in their cribs.
2) babies don't get bottles in their cribs. They are held while they are getting bottles, and if they drift off to sleep, the bottle is taken away.

I know lots of babies sleep in swings, but daycares with high standards don't do it (check out NAEYC for daycares that meet high standards).

I agree with many moms below - being wet isn't your biggest concern. Sleeping outside of a crib or being allowed to fall asleep with a bottle that is not removed is a pretty big issue.

Go with your gut and start looking into new options. Is he in someone's home or in a center. I think centers are better. There are many sets of eyes, are better regulated and tend to mind the law. You will never know who comes in an out of someone's personal house while you are not there.

I don't think it's urgent to find a new place tomorrow but do some looking and make a decision as soon as you can. And be sure to let them know why you have decided to leave (if you decide to leave).

I couldn't leave my kid with someone I don't trust. There are a lot of possible explanations, like the other responders have suggested. But the real problem is you doubt the person who takes care of your child. To me, that's the biggest problem.

Well, perhaps he'd had a hard time falling asleep. Did you ask or show them how wet he was? What did they say?

I have often let a child sleep then when they woke up washed them off and changed them top to bottom. I don't think it's a horrible thing compared to so many other things that could be done to a child.

I'm sorry you were so unhappy. I would have let him sleep instead of waking him up just to wash him off and change him.

I'm not sure I'm understanding right - was he laying flat in the crib with the bottle, or was he in the swing? How would have have a bottle in the swing? There's not enough room.

If this was a bottle in the crib, from now on, NO BOTTLES in the crib. Babies are not supposed to lay flat when drinking their bottle. It contributes to ear infection because the eustachian tube is so short and the milk flows into it, causing infection to set up.

Now about not waking a wet baby - it could be that she felt that the nap was more important than waking the baby. That's not necessarily neglectful. It's a difference in point of view and opinion. As the mother, you are well within your rights to tell them that you do not want your baby to be left in wet clothes and that from now on, they are to change the clothes regardless of whether or not baby is asleep.

Anyway, by saying no bottle with sleeping baby and always keep baby dry, you have let them know what you expect. If they ignore you later, then THAT'S when you get up in arms...

Well sleep trumps many things at that age. Maybe it was the bottle leaking. Maybe the blanket, while well meaning, actually made him warm and sweaty. (Kids are different. My kids would have overheated in the pj's their cousins wore.) Maybe his diaper did leak. If he was in a swing, it's quite possible fr a boy to leak up. Could have been a combination of things.

My youngest was a very good sleeper, so I might have changed him if he were wet. My oldest was a terrible sleeper. No way would I have woken him!!! Unless he had a poopy diaper, it would wait. Sleep was just that important.

Find another day care.

If you don't feel comfortable talking with your childcare provider(s) about this, then you should probably look at another daycare.
The baby shouldn't be in a crib with a bottle. And, I don't think baby should be napping in a swing... although I guess that depends on your state law & daycare center. A little wet... a lot wet... that's personal, I suppose--I probably would've changed the clothes.
But, what it really comes down to is if you trust (or don't) these people to care for your baby! When dd was having constipation issues, I told the providers no bananas, and I provided prune juice. When I picked her up and she was wet, I had them change her immediately. If she was going through a clingy/whiny phase I requested that they hold her a bit more. They never argued, just followed my directions. I absolutely trusted them--she was only 9-weeks old when she started there and just "graduated" from their pre-k program! Baby #2 will also be going there in a few months.

Laws for every state are different. I am a childcare provider in Kansas. We are not allowed to let a child sleep in a swing or bouncy seat, if they fall asleep we are to move them to a bed (pack-n-play).

Were they propping the bottle while he was in the swing? That also is not legal, a child must be held while being fed a bottle unless they can hold it themselves.

A child is never to be put in bed with a bottle.

I would not have left the child in wet clothes.

M

I guess my question would be did he smell like urine or did he smell like water/formula. if he was sleeping I would have left him alone unless it was urine. that can cause a rash etc. but if he was sleeping soundly and it was just water I would leave it alone. and some babys sweat. mine did. was he hot and sweaty and they turned the air on? At that age my boys could all pull on the nipple of the bottle. a bottle can drench a baby. so if he pulled on the nipple and it was falling out and they didn't notice til he was asleep then they might have done the same as I would have and left him alone. a nap time is a short amount of time to be wet. not the same as all night long. lots of questions but if your not comfortable then you need to switch him.

If he was so wet that they were worried abut the ac, then he should definitely have been changed.

I would talk to them about why the bottle was with him while he was sleeping. That in itself is not safe, IMO. He shouldn't be left to feed himself. He should be held or supervised closely. I would be upset if someone knew my daughter was soaked but only put a blanket on her. Diapers leak, too, and perhaps it was some of each. Either way, I would talk to the caregiver and from there determine if you also need to talk to the director.

If you feel uncomfortable find another provider. There is something in the tone of your post that sounds like your intuition is trying to tell you something.

Soaking wet baby, sleeping in a swing with a bottle does sound less than ideal to me. I always thought the "never wake a sleeping baby" rule was for the caretaker as much as the baby. Like when they finally fall asleep in a less than perfect place, or maybe even wet, and Mom lets it roll because she is so freaking exhausted her sanity trumps baby's dryness. I think parents are allowed to take advantage a little when it comes to this stuff. If you had made the determination yourself to let him sleep while wet then that's your choice, you're the Mom. It's not a call the caretaker should make.

I only breasted my babies, so I don't know. Do you give him a bottle in his crib at home? I know you don't with formula or juice, but do you with water? I know that if diapers go too long they get tremendously heavy, so I think it would be very easy to see the difference between water on clothes and urine in a diaper.

The daycare my son was at when he was a infant he was always dry when i picked him up. If he had been napping they would change him before I went home with him. Infants at daycare centers should not be sleeping in cribs. If my son was sleeping in a crib and woke up with a wet onsie I am not sure how i would react because that happens at home.

Find another provider.