Daughter Won't Speak Clearly Anymore

My son started doing that this morning - just for one conversation. It drives me INSANE! I just looked at him and said "I don't understand what you are saying, so I can't help you until you talk normally." It stopped pretty quickly.

Simply tell her "I will help you/listen to you/get you what you're asking for when you speak properly."

If she continues, shrug and say, "I can't understand you, so I can't help you."

Then turn away and continue what you are doing.

My oldest sometimes gets overly silly and starts talking using an almost cartoonish voice. It drives me nuts. I tell him that I want to talk to my son, not a cartoon. He stops immediately because he knows I won't listen to him until he does.

I agree with Christy Lee and Fanged Bunny - kids often play pretend and do mock voices as characters or as imitation. That's fine for play time or pretend time, and it's not okay for mommy time or reality time. It's possible that the kids with speech issues are getting more attention, or it's possible it's just a novelty for her. Since she already speaks well, she is very good at imitation and duplication. Which means she can and should speak properly. Just tell her you don't understand her, and then WALK AWAY and ignore her. The more attention to give her to correct her, the more she will continue. Obviously this is not a developmental issue with her - she can speak clearly, has spoken clearly, and does not have a hearing problem. So it's behavioral. That means you address it with your own behavior.

And learning to ignore undesirable behavior will be a great skill that you will need in her teen years, so practice now! LOL.

Imitating other kids is an annoying but normal thing. Both my girls do this from time to time. I always tell my kids "don't speak the way ___ speaks, speak the way YOU speak", and they usually stop. Until the next time. :)

If she CAN speak clearly when you ask her to, this is probably just a phase. Honestly, she's demonstrating that she has a natural ability to fit in with her peers and make other kids feel comfortable. This will save you untold amounts of heartache in the long run. To keep her practicing clear articulation, you can encourage her to play "mommy" or "teacher" -- see if she'll speak clearly in those roles.

My own son has multiple speech impediments, and he's also a bit socially immature, though he's very gifted academically and is in every sense a good kid. Speaking just for myself, your daughter's issues don't sound like a cause for concern.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Sounds like she's getting on well in pre-school.

Find out though if she's engaged in some sort of pretend play, like pretending to be a baby. She should be allowed some pretend. Then explain that you can't understand baby talk, and do what Christy Lee suggests.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I think it's pretty common for kids to imitate other kids, especially as they first begin preschool and the other kids are VERY interesting to them because everything's new and different, and the other kids' ways of doing things are attractive just becuase they're different.

Saying that...are you sure this is a case of imitation? Have you asked the teacher about this behavior, not just with your daughter, but in general? The teacher may be able to reassure you that your child speaks quite clearly to her in class but imitates other kids when with those kids (and at home with you, where she is relaxed and more willing to experiment with her new speech than she might be with the teacher, who is her new authority figure).

Can you spend a couple of class sessions observing and listening to her and other kids without being seen? So you can really hear how she sounds in class and how the other kids talk too?

It can't hurt to see a speech therapist but get one who specializes in very young children. Our preschool had a speech therapist who came once a week and did fun lessons with the kids on sounds -- it was wonderful. And she also listened to individual kids, which is how she identified that our daughter was using the "V" sound for "TH," as in "muvver" for "mother" and so on. About three months of weekly one-hour sessions took care of it. Some speech issues do manifest at around preschool age for the first time. Your child does not necessarily have any speech issues and seems to be just in an imitation phase, but if it continues or the teacher says she also hears the dropped Ls and Rs all the time, see a speech therapist for an evaluation. Our therapist made it all like playtime and craft time and our daughter LOVED going....

I think that she is figuring out what's what. She's hearing different things and is imitating and practicing them. My son was saying certain words at about 6-8 months that he let go of and didn't brign back around until about 18-20 months. He likes to hear it and then swirl it around a bit, practicing on his own until he decides how he wants it to sound from him. He also understands English and Spanish, so that makes him put more thought into it. He likes to figure stuff out on his own.

I say, just keep modeling the way that you want it to sound, and she'll pick up on that.

Perhaps you could say "I don't understand what you said" and look away and ignore her. If she wants you to pay attention, do what she wants or answer her question, she will have to speak correctly, or she gets nothing. (Kind of like ignoring a child when they whine...)

You might try that and see if it works. That's what I would do if I were in your shoes.

Dawn

a lot happens during the preschool years, & kids love imitating others.

I do believe this is just a phase, & if you leave it alone....it will go away.

If you make her repeat herself, you could be creating a situation where she thrives on the additional attention. :) Give it a couple of weeks, & see what happens.

Also, be prepared for the stuttering stage...it's coming! & it will pass quickly. Happens to most preschoolers. :)

It is normal for people of any age to take on regional dialects (think Madonna speaking "British"). To her the way the other kids talk is like a dialect and imitaing it is normal.
You don't have to be on her for that, just ask her to repeat when you don't understand her. It is a phase and it will pass - no worries.

I would consider it a phase. Kids her age often have problems with Ls. It's something we are working on with my DD. We play word games with her to try to get her to say them but there are other kids in her class who are much worse. If your DD imitates those around her easily, she may do well with learning a second or third language.

I would tell her that I know she can speak clearly and I would like to understand what she is saying, but I can't when she uses baby talk or whatever it sounds like to you. When she can ask you in a way you can understand, she will get what she wants. We use the same strategy for not whining and being polite. We also used this when SD regressed into baby talk when she was 9/10. I wouldn't punish her other than the natural consequence of if I can't understand you, you don't get x.