Daughter Wants to Be Held All the Time

Hi R.,

Oh my stars! My kids were the same way. If I would've had my daughter first, I wouldn't have tried for another. LOL!!
But I am glad I did.

Our son was easy going, everyone wanted to take care of him. He was no trouble finding a sitter at all. He always played by himself, had his own fun. Then I became pregnant with the second child, and I asked God to give me a little girl I could snuggle with. Our son didn't like to be held. He was just Go, Go, Go.

I learned to never ask that again! LOL! But yeah she was a little hand full. Actually she was such a little hand full that people stopped asking to watch her. (I am laughing as I am writing this but it was tough on me back then)

They'll let you know when they want their independence. Our daughter was about 3 before that happened. She did have probelms sleeping at night. So we let her sleep on the couch while we were watching TV and when she fell asleep, we would put her to bed. She would fall asleep sometimes, sometimes she would wake up. I remember the only thing that would put her to sleep some times was driving in the car, so we took road trips alot. Yes I was exhausted. No I didn't have any help beside my hubby. Because she was a handful, nobody wanted to watch her. I could tell you stories! Yes we worked it out, as you will too. Your daughter is only four months old. You & I were both spoiled with our first ones. LOL! Hang on to these precious times though, because your little ones will grow up one day and trust me, you'll want those precious days back.

Many Blessing to you and your family,

J.

Hi R.! Have you tried babywearing? I got a Moby Wrap sling for about $30 and they are amazing! You will be able to go about your life with her content right next to you!
I know that it is SO hard to get things done when your babe wants to be held all the time but this behavior is totally normal for her age and, in my opinion, SHOULD be indulged. She will outgrow it but part of her being secure later is her feeling secure now and that means being close to you.
Check out the moby wrap! You can do everything you normally do with your baby snuggled close. It's hands free and doesn't put strain on your back. You can use it to 35 pounds so it lasts til the toddler stage.
-Anne

My daughter was just like that - by the time she was nine months, she changed a great deal - now she's more confident and independent than other kids her age (She's three and 1/2 now). I wished I had had a sling when she was an infant because then it would have been easier to get things done. I'd recommend holding her more now in a sling as that "need" will go away sooner because she'll know she's ok. Don't worry about creating any habits or clinginess, in fact, I would wager she'll be more clingy/fussy the more you try to establish time away. I noticed this too with my daughter as at first I tried to "train" her to be ok without me picking her up all the time - the more I held her, the longer she'd let me lay her down later in the day. Some kids just need more physical closeness. Now I can say I love that my 3 1/2 year old is very affectionate and very caring - but I laugh at how she wants "time alone please mommy." So different now. It's difficult at your stage, it will change eventually. Plus, it's difficult to be "on" all the time,I know. Perhaps you can talk to the daycare - a really good daycare will do their best to hold her if she needs it. My best to you.

Hi R. :)

My baby girl is the exact same way and has been that way since birth as well! I began "babywearing" so I can still get things done. I use the Peanut Shell sling which she really likes but have also tried the Moby Wrap which is great as well. I have always held her as much as she needs because I've noticed that the days where I put her down more than usual made her even more clingy! I truly believe that this is just something that some babies need more than others to feel secure and grow comfortable with their new world. And she already seems to be growing out of it slightly, so I think it's something that just passes with time. I know it can be very hard to have such a demanding little one but I think that their need to be held all the time should be nurtured until they are secure enough to outgrow it. I found the book "The Fussy Baby Book - Parenting Your High-Need Child" by Dr. William Sears to be very helpful. It was great to know that I wasn't the only one out there with a "high maintenance" baby.