Daughter Scared to Sleep in Her Own Room.

I remember having this same, crippling, irrational fear when I was a child. My parents were very stern and did not allow me to sleep anywhere else but my bedroom. I remember feeling the compulsion to look out the window every thirty seconds to see if someone was looking in at me. It would cause me to lose sleep, and just worry. Ultimately, I did grow out of it.

Why not just ask her what she thinks you could do to help to ease her mind? A relaxation CD may help- the noise can distract her and relax her at the same time. Have her listen to it on an Ipod or something. My daughter has lots of anxiety and I have her listen to music on her Ipod at night, seems to help her fall asleep.

Good luck, trust me I know what anxiety can do to a family!

This might seem a bit harsh, but c'mon, she's almost 10... old enough to know that 'ghosts aren't real' (I believe in them, but I hardly believe your daughter has ANY reason to know they're real), and how many times has a robber broken in before? Chances are, zero. Turn off the tv, don't let her watch the news, and tell her 'you're 10 now, act like a big girl'. I think she's just manipulating the situation and getting the attention she wants in return. I'd cut her off cold turkey... 'Happy 10th Birthday! Now getouttamuhbed!' ;)

OR, if you're certain these are very real fears (and she's not just whining 'but what if a robber...'), then she needs to address this with a child psychologist.

Best wishes!

I wouldn't let her sleep in your room as that is your room. Maybe let the kids share a bedroom for now. Has something happened to your house or to a friends house that would cause her to worry? You can also get window alarms that may help ease her fears. We have a nightlight if not two in every room to help with this problem and to help us see when we come home late at night.

You may also try having her talk to someone neutral about her fears.

When I was a child I was TERRIFIED of everything at night time. Ghosts, robbers, demons, satan.... you name it, I sat in bed at night time worried about it. Even when I was old enough to know it was my imagination, I was still terrified. Now that I am older I realize what I have (and had then) is night terrors. Things I see in the night--- hallucinations of a sort-- are VERY real to me at the time... and the next morning as well. Even though I am all grown up, you will have a hard time convincing me that the snake in my bed isn't real (at 2 am) when I am clearly seeing it with my own eyes. Your daughter may not be able to put an explanation to her fears--- I didn't realize I had night terrors until I was in college--- but she is afraid. I don't think it's fair to say "you're 10. get over it". Fears can be crippling and if you arn't there as a source of comfort and support for her she will always feel like you weren't compassionate to her needs. That doesn't necessarily mean you need to let her sleep in your bed. My parents certainly weren't interested in having us sleep with them.... I was lucky, though because I DID have an older sister. Just having her in the same room with me made me feel safer--- even though, realistically, she wouldn't be able to do anything if a "robber" came... My sister was sweet enough to sleep with me even though we had separate bedrooms. We slept together until we were about 13 and 15... You said that your 10 year old sleeps on the floor of her sister's room--- if she is doing this she must be REALLY afraid. Can't you add a twin bed in there or make your older daughter's bed a double so that they can share? I bet if she felt that you understood her fears, didn't judge her for them, and wanted to help her feel at ease during night time by making her more comfortable in her own bed in her sister's room, I bet she would sleep alot more soundly and happily.... I would also talk to the older sister and explain to her that letting her sister sleep with her is part of being loving and supportive family members.... Just a thought. Good Luck. Feel free to email me if you want a grown up perspective on what your 10 year old is probably going through--- because I still remember many nights of my childhood quite vividly.

No, do not make her sleep in her own room right now.
Let her sleep in your room. She needs to feel safe.
Pray with her at night. Give her a bible to keep by her side.

Give her time. It's not easy being a kid.

She is coming to you for comfort. She needs you now.

I had a similar problem with one of my kids - she was afraid of everything, afraid to sleep in her bed, and just wanted to be with me. Here's what I did: I have a few stuffed animals, and I made a big deal out of picking one of them to give to her to sleep with. I made sure she knew it was my favorite one, that it was like a part of me, and that it was like I was giving her a piece of my own heart. I would even hug it with my "mama power" every night so that it would be full of my love. It worked. My daughter felt comfortable sleeping away from me as long as she had my stuffed animal with her. She's now 15 and still sleeps with "Pepper" every night, and as far as I'm concerned Pepper is still MY stuffed animal, LOL!

My daughter was afraid of burglars at that age. We bought window alarms at Ace, the kind you mount to the window and the sill and when the window opens and the 2 pieces are no longer next to each other, an shrill alarm sounds. We also put a second bed in her room and for a while I actually slept in there (my husband snores LOUDLY and refuses to admit he has allergies, but that is another story, but I did not mind sleeping in her quiet room for a few weeks!). Once she knew I was coming to sleep there later, she would fall asleep without me there. After those few weeks I would tell her I may come to your room or maybe sleep with daddy. After a while I just stopped sleeping in her room altogether but kept the bed there. About a month of not sleeping in her room I removed the guest bed and put it back in the guest room. There would be the occasional time that she would wake up (4 AM seems to be her "witching hour") and come to our bed, but I would walk her back to her bed and tuck her back in and maybe stay for a few minutes but go back to my bed again later. She seems to be over it now.
I would NOT let her watch any news, our daughter was just too aware and we did have a string of break-ins nearby that I think may have started this phobia, or perhaps it is just an age-related awareness issue. I would say adjust her environment to her until she is comfortable to adjust herself to the environment.

Many Asberger's kids have irrational fears -- cats, rain, thunderstorms. You may want to have her evaluated.

Just a quick suggestion because we went through and still go through every once in awhile the same thing. We had our son read about sage and cleansing rooms or homes. We did a cleanse it helped so much. Maybe books at the library would help her too. Good luck Also incesne in a room is suppose to help calm and be a free "safe" place. Hope this helps.

I would think she has an underlying fear and you probably need to gt to the bottom of it. I remember as a young girl we lived in a two story apartment. My parents and brothers slept upstairs and I had the bedroom downstairs. I do remember getting scared occasionally (I was about your daughter's age) I would run upstairs and roll up in the carpet or at the foot of my parent's bed when I got scared or thought I saw something. Kind of funny because I actually had to go through the living room where I thought I saw things. I grew out of it, but if she continues I would figure a way to get to what is actually bothering her. Maybe check with a child's psychologist(?)

P.S. I grew out of it :)))

Good luck

R.

It's hard to reason a child out of fears.

A new room can seem like a great thing to a child. Then the child is actually in the room, and it's like a whole different world - and perhaps not a pleasant one. I remember, when my kids were little, reading the "Ramona" book (by Beverly Cleary) in which Ramona gets a room of her own at last - and is afraid to sleep there.

This could be a time for talking and listening. She needs to come to understand that her mama and daddy take such good care of her that she doesn't need to worry about the things that go bump in the night. She also needs to know that it might be a comfort to sleep in mama and daddy's room, but it isn't so comfortable for mama and daddy!

Maybe this might be a time for a bit of partying. Maybe instead of her sleeping on the floor in her sister's room, her sister could come sleep on the floor in her room instead. Maybe she could invite a friend over for the night in her own room. Ghosts simply don't stay in bedrooms where there is a lot of fun and laughter.