Daughter Packs Unhealthy Lunches, Throws Away Healthy Food I Send

If she is like my son, threatening to make her eat the cafeteria lunch instead should provoke enough fear that she will stop complaining and eat what you send. Works every time for my kid. lol

Let her pack her lunches. When she gets home have a healthy snack and a good dinner. This is not something worth arguing about. She knows what is healthy, she knows what is good. Take her shopping with you to get pudings and fruit cups, she might eat them. Try jello with fruit.
I buy mine the tiny clementine oranges and granola bars. She usually gets her own foods, I have let her choose since she was in 4th or 5th grade.

Very simple. Stop buying the "bad" stuff and she won't even have the option to take them. Only provide her with healthy choices.

Some schools have a program where you can go into the menu and accept certain foods and decline others... it cost more, but my BFF had to do this with her daughter. This way, she can ONLY select healthier options (while still picking which one's she likes), but won't be able to purchase side, cookies, snack cakes, etc.

Make sure there's nothing BUT healthy treats in the house, that way she doesnt have a choice.

I agree, dont buy the snacks anymore. Shes 10, the teachers dont have time to babysit her at lunch (sorry if that sounded rude, dont mean it that way)
Also, another option, is to let her buy lunch too. I let my daughter buy lunch once a week and she got a hamburger, blueberries and a salad. School lunches have come a long way. I dont let her buy everyday to save money. But if your daughter is just throwing away healthy food, thats a lot of money down the drain. I would consider having her buy lunch a couple days a week.
I dont know if your school does this, but our school requires parents permission and signature to buy extra snacks. Or if they dont do that, maybe call and they can restrict her account from extra things.
Under my parent account for school, I can see what she buys, and if shes taking advantage of the "extra" snack option she will be cut off. :)

Don't buy treats. I wouldn't even have them in the house until she can make better choices. What we are trying to do here is teach that you can have a treat IF you have eaten plenty of good food first. Treats are not a right; they're treats. Do NOT contact the teacher; you are setting yourself up for some major trouble with your daughter there. I would also try to make less of a confrontation out of this. Just make it a matter-of-fact consequence - good food, then treat; no good food, no treat.

I love the expression "healthy centerpiece" but depending on what the treats are and what you consider to be a centerpiece, I wouldn't take on this battle with a tween. We are all so culturally oriented to that centerpiece...the sandwich at lunch or the roast at dinner, but really I can eat yogart, fruit and a granola bar for lunch and match the nutrients to a turkey sandwich pretty closely. Depending on the bread chosen, yogart might be higher in carbs, the turkey is definitely way high in sodium. And if it's a lunchmeat other than turkey, it's going to be a lot higher in fat.
So I wouldn't take the responsibility away from her, I wouldn't embarass her with a lunch monitor. I would make it a little home science project to research needed daily nutrients and read labels with her to determine if those needs are beng fulfilled. Here is a good article on nutritional needs for school age children you can use to get started.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/343301-nutrition-requir...
Using food labels, have her assess normal breakfast and dinner. Then she can assess a lunch that she put together herself and she can make revisions based on how that stacks up to her needs.

If you're feeding her a healthy supper, I wouldn't wory about the junk lunches.

If you're the only one grocery shopping, what if you try to only buy healthier snacks? Lots of fruit, carrots/celery, yogurt, string cheese, goldfish or pretzels.... My kids love those Special K cereal bars, they're not too bad. It's OK to eat mostly snacks, as long as the snacks themselves aren't all junk.

I agree with the others. I think I would do two things.

1) Stop buying treats while she isn't choosing to pack a healthy lunch. If you feel she needs a daily treat, only have one for her for after school, not as an option to take with a school lunch. She can't pack what you don't have available. Then I wouldn't worry if there is no "healthy centerpiece"

2) Buy school lunch if your school offers a good program without unlimited access to junk food.

You won't be able to control what she does with her lunch once she gets to school. Don't get the school involved, they cannot monitor what individual kids eat and do not eat. If you force your DD to take things you select she doesn't care for she can easily throw it away. Better to eliminate the junk fillers. Then she'll be more likely to eat the healthy foods, because she'll be hungry and won't have a choice.

Why send her lunch? She is old enough to buy her lunch and save you the hassle. She is eating what she wants at school anyway.

No treats. No chips. No cookies.
Just a healthy lunch.
oh - and a bottle of water.
LBC

My daughter fought me on healthy foods as well until I had her watch Food, Inc. It changed the way she looked at unhealthy foods! There are other movies similar to it as well that might be beneficial and back it up. Good Luck!

Don't bring home any treats for her to put in her lunch. My kids don't always get a treat in their lunch.

Does the school have a cafeteria where she can buy lunch?
I would stop sending her with one and force her to eat in the cafeteria.

Now, overall, you can't MAKE her eat healthy, given that can't supervise her 100% of the time.
I would say make your best effort, make sure she's active to offset the junk, and let it go.

Don't purchase the treats in the first place. Don't have them in your fridge, your pantry, on your countertop. If they are not in the house she cannot stuff her lunch with them. You say you want her to have treats -- Why daily? Take her out once or twice a week to Starbucks for a hot chocolate instead.
She doesn't need a daily treat in her packed lunch.

Figure out with her what healthy foods she does like. If you label them "healthy" she may claim she hates them, when in reality she does like, for instance, carrots or cut-up fruit, but will balk at them if you say "This is healthy..."

But most of all, she cannot pack what you do not have in the house at all.

I would ensure too, if you want to control what she has at school, that you do not put money into a lunch account for her except a tiny amount in case one day she totally forgets lunch. If she knows there is, say $40 in her cafeteria account "for emergencies" she might just eat up that $40 worth to get what she wants and prove her point. I'd put in maybe $5 tops (about one lunch and maybe a bottle of water worth of money).

Would she respond better if you gave her books like the American Girl "Food and You" book, which talks about moderation for snacks and healthy eating? Try to turn this into "how cool it is to be healthy" rather than the power struggle it's clearly becoming.

By the way, I can't see any teacher providing a monitor to watch one child eat lunch. There isn't enough staff anywhere to do that kind of watching. Drop in and have lunch with her as a surprise from time to time but don't let her feel you're spying on her eating habits as you do it. Talk to her and her friends about their day instead.

I agree with the other mom about its not worth arguing about. Pick your battles..I think its gret she is being independent and making her lunch. You can maybe offer a couple "healthy" suggestions and buy healthy snacks she may include, but to save yourself aggravation let her do her part for her own lunch as your probably not going to win this one. You can serve healthy dishes for breakfast and dinner. Or when you do the shopping just buy healthier snack options, there are plenty out there. I wouldnt "monitor" her that is just going to further upset her-She is 10, and is completely normal in her food choices. Dont make food a battle or she will end up having issues.

I think the mom that said the healthy rest of the day will balance out lunch. But I was wondering if there is a compromise somewhere. Some healthy foods are just boring and don't taste good.

Is there healthy stuff she likes? My 4 year old eats tomatoes like they are apples, loves edamame, blueberries, etc. What does she like? Involve her in the shopping for her lunches, teach her how to eat balanced, include the snacks/treats.

Good luck.

When I found out my 11 year old was doing the same thing I stopped sending the treats.

If you don't buy it, she can't pack it or eat it. You pack what you want in her lunch and she either eats it or goes hungry till she gets home. She is only 10 and probably hormonally challenged right now (that's what I call my 11yr old DD's episodes) and this is also a power struggle too. You need to remember you are the mom, you are in charge. Sit down with her and have a calm talk and see what compromises you can come up with that will make you both happy. This allows her the chance to be heard and you to listen and is the opportunity to lay the groundwork for good communication skills as she grows up between the two of you.

Don't contact her teacher, this is between the two of you.

Good luck
S.

Most likely it has to do with her friends....she's too young to not be "part of the crowd" and feels like she's the only one who has to eat healthy foods....probably true...all her friends parents let them to bring junk to school (it amazes me what parents allow their kids to eat)....my 11 year old went through this too last year. She was always the one with the lunch box filled with organic, whole grain, healthy food.....I think she started to feel like a bit of an outcast because most of this healthy food I would give her was unrecognizable to her friends....she ended up barely eating anything for lunch. I was pulling my hair our for a bit until I decided it wasnt worth it. I told her she could buy hot lunch (something I was completely against) She was happy because this was something most kids did....then I made her watch Jamie Olivers Food Revolution (a show about the horrors of school lunches) and guess what...she decided she wanted to bring lunch to school again.....Now we decide together every weekend what we will make for the week....I give her lots of options and its not always a "traditional" lunch...sometimes its just fruit, yogurt, cheese and crackers...read my blog for 25 other lunch ideas http://www.captaincooksblog.com
When she usually comes home with a virtually empty lunch box... she is allowed an after school snack...On the days when her lunch box comes home mostly full....I make her a small hot meal before she is allowed to do her normal after school activities....

She can have the treat when she gets off the bus.. heathy food at school.

Have her buy the school lunch until she gets the idea. She won't starve and definitely don't contact the teacher! She is waaay too old for that!!!

I agree with the other Moms who say don't give her access to the "junk" at home. I have always been very insistant with my children that they have to "TRY" it all 1 time. We have a silly saying in my house that my kids learnt from an earlyish age - "you get what you get and you don't have a fit". Having a tantrum in my house never got you anywhere but timeout. You are incharge, give her something like picking out her own clothes each day to help her decision making skills. Or give her the choice of either lunch A or lunch B, both of which you have prepared with healthy choices.
Trust me the battles will only get worse the older they get. The trick is to nip the attitude in the bud before it blossoms! LOL
M. F

I have volunteered numerous times in the cafeteria of the school that my children attend and I can tell you first hand that LOTS of children throw away their lunch, drinks, snacks. I have also witnessed children throw away their uneaten lunches that they purchased. What I do for my children is always pack a healthy lunch, they get juice or chocolate almond breeze, a snack, and something else like a cheese stick or yogurt. I know my kiddos eat it all because that is what they eat at home so I know they like it. I make a homemade snack mix that is yummy to them, easy for me to make, and gentle on the finances. I mix a box of cereal (my kiddos love Honey Nut Cheerios), two bags of M & M's (not the HUGE bag, but the large bag), a box of Honey teddy bear crackers, and a box of Cheezits. I mix it all up and store it in a large air tight container. I made this mixture at the beginning of this school year and with three children (they get a 1/4 cup of it in a baggie or container small enough to fit in their lunch box) and we are just about 1/2 way through this mixture. You can mix just about anything you want...I've even used small pretzels and yogurt raisins.

Does your daughter like sandwiches? I buy these flavored tortillas (they come in spinach, tomato, and garlic), slices of cheese, deli ham or turkey, lettuce, tomato ~ layer it all on the tortilla, roll them up, slice in half and you have yourself a yummy wrap. I love tortillas instead of bread. Also, mix softened cream cheese, chopped or sliced black olives and slather the mixture over plain flour tortillas and roll them up. Slice into rounds and serve with salsa. My kiddos love cream cheese wraps! You could send her off with Spaghettios in a thermos, or soup. My kiddos love lunchables but the healthy variety that I provide for them. I buy club crackers or some other flavored cracker, some salami and cheese. Slice up the salami and cheese and get a small container to hold some pizza sauce. Or forget the pizza sauce and make sandwiches with the crackers: put a little mayo or mustard on each crackers, a little slice of cheese and salami, top with another cracker and make about a dozen of these cracker sandwiches and place in a container with a lid. Yes, I would let her teacher know that your daughter is not eating her lunch. When I volunteer at the school, I gently encourage the children to eat what they want to throw away.