Daughter Just Lays Around

Hi Jen,

Tell her what you told us. Tell her how you feel. Let her respond. She will tell you what she needs.

Good luck. D.

Sounds like camp is keeping her busy and she just needs to recharge her batteries,as long as she is busy most of the day,if she didnt have camp and just hung by herself everyday then I would be concerned

Welcome to the world of teenagers! LOL Every child changes when they hit that certain age. Some change a little, some change a lot. Some start at age 9, some not until 16. But it happens. It's not unusual for teens to become lazy, bored, busy with their thoughts, hormonal, emotional, moody, ditsy, complaining and so much more. Pick one, lol. My second son is 14. The last couple years he's slowly gone into what I fondly call his "blond stage". Now, he's starting his "unpleasant" stage. He used to be such a pleasure to be around but now he is more work than my four year old triplets! We recently went on vacation and although the triplets weren't on their best behavior, the 14 year old was a terror! He did things unlike himself and seemed confused by our anger. When we got back he went to our oldest son's home for a few weeks with his wife and baby and needless to say, big brother is seeing a whole new little brother, lol. He's baffled at the 14 year old's brain right now, but such is life with a teenager. I told my oldest that if you think the 14 year old is bad, you were worse at that age, lol.

Teens have many hormone changes that come out in many ways. They face a lot of thoughts that they didn't have before. As long as they're staying legal and moral, and following your family rules, let them be. But do watch that it doesn't go too far. We will throw our kids out of the house at that age when they're sitting around too much, which we do with the 14 year old these days, and I'm sure we'll be doing again when he gets back from his brother's house. We make reasons for them to get out like going to the store and picking something up. We tell them that the summer will be wasted if they keep sitting so the least they can do is sit and relax outside rather than on the couch. So sometimes we do end up throwing the kid out of the house and tell them not to come back for two hours. Take your cell and go to the pool! LOL

It's all normal. Just work with them but don't fret at all. It just pushes them to hide away even more.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
chat and events within 2 hour radius

It seems like if she is going to camp all day, she needs time to unwind at night...it seems perfectly normal.

Hi Jen.
It sounds like your daughter just needs down-time after a busy day. She is just recharging after being stimulated all day at camp. (Think how WE feel after a super-busy day!)
She's fine- let her relax. :-)
Have a great summer.

My daughter's the same age and exhibiting the same behavior; I remember doing the same at her age, and from what I hear from other parents (and see on this site) this is absolutely normal.

I think there's a lot going on "under the radar" in their lives--lots of changes, new ideas, thoughts, hormones, etc., and they just need down time to process it and recover, mentally and physically. I try to get out with her, just the 2 of us ("Let's walk downtown for ice cream" or "Let's cruise a new mall" LOL) so that she can talk on the way if she wants, but I don't push it.
Best of luck!
L.

I think that she's just learning that it's okay to be by yourself sometimes. If her mood or behavior hasn't changed I wouldn't worry about it. 13 is a weird age. When she turns 15 and you hardly ever see her you'll miss this time that she was just hanging around the house.

Jen,

My son is a month shy of turning 13...and I'm noticing a bit of the same thing. Previously, he was always the life of the party...the more the merrier...and he NEVER wanted to be alone. Now, though he still likes to have a lot of friends over...he's starting to want some down time without them. If he has a good book, he can be lost in it for hours. I'm thinking it's the age. Since she's at camp all day and is seemingly interacting well with the kids there, I wouldn't worry.

P.

My kids are tired after camp and just want to relax.... Maybe that's all that's happening.

While it probably is just puberty still keep an eye out. Your daughter is entering a time in her life when self doubt and body image insecurities sneak up. It is also a time of drama between friends and such. Sure, she may just be tired after camp. When she is home watching tv sit next to her. Do not say anything just sit. If you go on an errand ask her to come with you. Kids talk when they want to, not when parents want them to. I would not be overly concerned just keep your eyes and ears open. You can even make an observation. "I have noticed that you seem to need a lot of downtime lately." Leave it at that or even offer to take her to get a new book. She will know that you support her needs and if there is something up she will tell you. She may just tell you that camp is busy and she just wants to chill when she gets home.

B. Davis
Child And Family Coaching
http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family

Jen,
Thank God .
a grammy
ps= your husband is correct .

Sure have...it's called puberty :)

Yes, actually, I have gone through exactly this, only it was ME, not my child. ;)
Being busy at camp all day takes a lot of energy out of you, so when your daughter comes home she engages in quiet, relaxing activities, which is just what I did at her age. Your daughter is relaxing, recharging, and re-centering herself, although mind you, I obviously can't speak FOR her, that's just my best theory.

My best recommendation to you: don't just observe your daughter, ask her. Express a desire to be involved with your daughter as a person - for who she is, whether she be your daughter or not - and just ask her what's on her mind or what she's about. Do this anytime, and I think your daughter will appreciate it, people - especially young people - tend to appreciate when their folks seek to understand them and know them better.

Well, it IS summer, and she's going to a summer camp and is enjoying it, right? Maybe it's just raging hormones and a certain aspect of maturity kicking in? If she seems to enjoy herself during these "down times" I don't see what the problem would be. You know how girls that age can be.....mean...exclusionary, etc. maybe it's just a sort of rift between some of the kids? Personally I wouldn't worry too much. Once school starts again, she'll most likely be back to a life packed with school, homework, activities and sports. I guess the only thing I would worry about would be if she seems to be turning into a couch potato and make sure you know where she's going/who she's talking to on the internet.....

Dear JW:
I waited until school started to write you. Many times the "growing pains" take many forms. If I were you, I would enjoy her being around. I would go shopping with her, go on a cruise with her; and, also, let Dad know, that as Daddy's little girl, there should be time for Father/Daugher time, whether it is golf, tennis, movies, something that is going to give her an identifying idea of how parents should be treating their "developing" teenager. It is always reassuring to know, as a teenager, that your parents care, they are there to direct and guide and teach her to "fly". Spend time with games, discussions, prayer, whatever....but let her know that you are there for her!
Someday she'll be gone and you'll never forget the great memories that you made.
Enjoy,
E.

Does she call her friends just to talk? how about emailing on computer?

My 13 year old at times just wants to sit in her room and have quiet or read a book.

If it continues in Sept then talk to her, but she is probably just chillin

Hi, it sounds like she is just really tired from camp. I have heard the same from other kids and parents who's little ones go to camp. It's a full full day for them, and afterwards they are just spent. If she doesn't seem depressed, I'd just honor her chill time. It's sweet you are so concerned and caring.

Enjoy it because the older they get the less you see of them. i think it is just her age adn hormones.