Daughter Brushing Own Hair

You should get it trimmed the split ends make it tangle more. Personally I was through dealing with it, and even though DH was against it, we chopped it off and donated it to Locks of Love. DD loves it short now and it is so easy for her to do herself. He was not willing to deal with the battle every day, and neither am I so off it went.

my 7 1/2 yo with a cut bob cut at her chin. Still can't easily reach the back of her head, getting her to brush it is a pain. it's easier after a bath or shower when it's been conditioned.

I'm a hairstylist. Trim the girl's hair. It doesn't have to be a big cut, but a trim will help with the tangles, since the ends are jaggedy from growth, from breakage, split ends and from daily hair loss... that is why small trims on long hair is crucial to keeping it healthy. Trimming the hair will also make it appear fuller and longer. Don't trim her hair yourself, take her somewhere to get it done. You don't need daddy's permission to take care of your daughter's hair. It will grow. I had hair past my butt at this age. It was long and beautiful and I got regular trims.

One way to help her learn, is to split her hair in two parts and put one part over each shoulder in front. Then she brushes the front... start from the ends and gently work her way up. Also, put her hair in braids to help with tangles as well.

Whatever you do, make sure she knows she has to brush the underneath part of the hair too. I have a young friend, who at age 12, was only brushing the top layer of her hair. The underneath was a GIANT tangled mess, as it hadn't been brushed in weeks ... Didn't even come out when she washed it. It took me 45 minutes and 3 long conditioning sessions to get a comb through it. Not pretty, and yes, she cried, but her mother didn't have the strength to do it for her, so I had to. She's never repeated that particular mistake! Best wishes.

What is up with dads deciding (adamantly in one post) that their daughters need to have long hair? Frankly, I think it should be partly up to the daughter and partly up to the person stuck with dealing with the hair. If the person who brushes and cares for the hair is the dad, sure they should have input. If the person responsible for much of the hair care is the mom, they should be the one with the most input. Everyone else needs to recognize that their opinion can be stated and heard but may be ignored for the greater good.

I recommend giving your daughter a hard trim and telling your husband the reason you did it. Don't tell him it was an accident. Be direct. He really has no business giving orders about your daughter's hair, particularly when it's a PITA to brush it and you're the one stuck doing it.

My 7 1/2 year old has very long, straight hair and she's been insistent about bathing, washing her own hair, and brushing it for two years now. I give her help when she asks or feels like being babied. :-) But it really is getting so long that she can't always reach the last few inches. I've been trying to teach her how to pull it forward over her chest to brush those bottom inches. She's learned to brush her hair upside down too.

We've also graduated up from baby shampoos this past year and a half. She gets a gentle shampoo with a nice, light weight conditioner.

She also gets about half an inch to an inch trimmed off every 6 to 8 weeks, and I do that myself. It's not completely one length, but a little bit graduated on the sides because she likes it that way, and it's straight across in the back. When her hair starts to get tangled no matter what we do, I check for split ends and do a new trim.

My 9 1/2 year old recently has become more able to bathe herself and last night actually brushed her own hair for the first time. She missed the bottom tangles but I'm really proud of her. It's not easy since her hair is also long, but it's also wavy, curly, and THICK. We have to use a very moisturizing shampoo and conditioner in her hair plus a spray moisturizer (she uses mine actually... L'Oreal Ever Creme for Dry to Very Dry, vegan shampoo & conditioner plus the after spray) and we also use a curl moisturizer and enhancer to boot. Both act as a detangler for smoother combing out. Her hair is also trimmed every 6 to 8 weeks, although not as much is trimmed because it's so thick and she doesn't get as bad split ends.

So. Trim, moisturize, detangling and moisturizing spray, and the correct type of brush for her hair type would be helpful.

We were raised like Melissa, You can keep your hair anyway you want, but no complaints about what it takes to care for it.

Our daughter has a LOT of hair and it was curly (still has a lot and wavy hair) we had the same rule.. Want to be able to wear it in a pony? Then it has to be brushed and no complaining. ..

I used to have her brush her hair first and then I or my husband would finish. I also had to purchase a special, expensive, brush, because it was the only one that worked.

Very convenient for your husband to say you cannot cut it, but he does not have to deal with it.. Sometimes, moms just have to make the decision based on reality, not wishes.

Practice makes perfect! Maybe if you brush it out for her first to get most of the snarls out, and let her practice brushing her hair when it's free of tangles, just to get the dexterity and movements down. Then you can start leaving a few tangles in for her to work out, but still do most of it for her. Then just gradually leave more and more in until she is doing it on her own.

Not sure if I have any advice, other than to say, is it worth it? I never did hair drama. My girls had adorable little bobs pretty much until they were around five. They wanted long hair, they had to brush it, period. Thank God my husband didn't care one way or another, but it would not have mattered. The parent that has to deal with the "problem" is the one who should make the call as far as I'm concerned!

LOL... get used to it... i have 4 girls. Only my youngest, who is four, is interested in brushing her own hair (and doesn't do a bad job). My oldest (just turned 9), STILL doesn't do her own hair and when I ask her to, it doesn't look good.... she has fine curly/wavy hair- very difficult hair. My second oldest (almost 8) sounds like your daughter. She also has fine wavy hair that is very long down to her bottom (it resembles disney princess hair when it is groomed well, LOL)... and she makes quite a fuss over her hair... she has brushed her own on occasion, but has to be told to.

They JUST aren't quite at the point where they CARE about their looks yet enough to actually put effort into it. Thankfully they are all naturally beautiful... but ONE day they will care about taking a little more time getting themselves ready... and when that happens it will be another problem for me because they will all wanna hog the bathroom and powder room mirrors, and most likely fight over it.

But seriously, I know only a couple of girls your daughter's age that does their own hair... and the ones that DO either have a mom that focuses a LOT on her own self before she goes out or a teenage sister that does.

My daughter is almost 6 and has a hard time brushing her hair too. It is easier to brush it out when it is wet with a little conditioner in it. I try to have her wear it up (or at least the front) to help prevent knots. I have started having her brush out the knots with me watching so she can figure out how to do it herself with less pulling and pain.

Hello,
Get her a small, flat paddle brush. Have her grasp her long hair with one hand, pulling the hair in front of her shoulder and onto her chest. Still holding the hair in one hand, have her start brushing the ends first and moving higher and higher on the hair shaft while working the tangles out. (Holding the hair keeps her from pulling it at the scalp, which hurts)
Have her do this right after she towels off from her shower while her hair is still pretty wet. Once it starts drying even a little bit, it gets harder to brush. You'll probably have to help her with the back crown of her head area as that area is still hard to reach at that age. Our daughter is 7 and is still mastering brushing out her long hair, too. It just takes time.

This is a paddle brush:
http://www.folica.com/tools/hair-brushes/denman-small-pad...

My philosophy is that you can only have long hair if you can take care of it. Sorry but if it hurts to brush and it's too hard then she cannot have long hair. Plus, if DH wants her to have long hair then he can wash it, brush it daily and comb out the tangles.

Hair grows and when she is ready to take care if it she can grow it back out.

I always comb the tangles out in the shower. I just let her face away from me after she's washed her body. I lather it once, rinse it with the hand held shower head, then I put in conditioner and comb it out, then rinse it well. I wrap a towel around her head with the hair not all scrunched up.

For school, I brush it in the mornings and then she brushes it at night time.

So if she does a good job in the evening and puts it in a braid or pony tail it should not have tangles in it in the morning.....

I also have a spray bottle from the cleaning section of Walmart that I put a few drops of Tea Tree Oil in then filled with water. I shake it up well then dampen her hair. This repels head lice and also makes her hair more manageable.

As for your daughter, I think she is at a good age to sit down in front of a mirror and practice brushing her hair. She may be more visual and just not able to "see" what she is doing.

She does need time to learn to do this. Patience is the biggest thing you can do for her right now. She needs to get through this stage where she isn't liking the brushing.

She will get it, especially if she scoops her hair up and brings it around to the from of her chest so she can really see it in the mirror.

We with curly hair only brush while in the shower with LIADS of conditioner in it (makes it very very slippery).

Is that a possibility for you?

Similarly, braiding when wet keeps tangles at bay (and adds wave).

My daughter also has long straight hair. I say straight, but really it has a lot of body, and a wave at the ends, but because it is long it is heavy and LOOKS very straight. It is also fine, and that makes it tangle more easily and is more difficult to brush. She is 11, and has just really been able to properly brush it the past 2 years or so. Age 6 is pretty young to expect them to do a GOOD job of it, when it is long.

The tendency (as another poster mentioned) is to brush the top layer, and stick it in a pony. Then the undersides just become a MASS of tangle. Grr...

My daughter would actually LIKE to cut her hair up to shoulder length. But I don't want her to, and my husband is adamant that she not. She just wants it like mine. She says so. But I would keep mine longer than I do if I could. It's just that the older I get, the coarser it seems to get and the more easily it gets damaged.... and so I can't let it grown any longer any more.

Use a wide tooth comb to comb her hair out immediately after she is done in the shower. And if she isn't getting all the shampoo out, that will make things TONS harder. A good quality conditioner helps. Not a "kids" conditioner or combo product.
And she DEFINITELY needs to get it trimmed. Husband likely won't even notice! Seriously! My husband is serious about keeping my daughter's hair long, and he never even notices when I trim the ends. I tell him, and he says-- I can't tell. This is with me trimming 2 inches. It grows so fast.

If your daughter has never had her hair even trimmed, that is the majority of your problem, I promise. Use good scissors, too, made specifically to trim hair--not a pair of school scissors or something cheap. That makes a difference too.

If your daughter's hair is half way down her back (I'm guessing here...), trimming 2 inches will not be noticed after about a day. I promise.

I see you got plenty of responses but I have to throw this one in as well:

Our daughters are the same age but mine loves to brush her own hair (not that she does a very good job of it all the time) and has curly long hair. We use, what I refer to as the "magic brush." it's not expensive. Goody makes it. It has a large rectanglar shape head with those plastic bristles with the those little round balls on the ends. I'm telling you, it works like magic!

You could also add a little conditioner before letting her brush it.

Good luck!

Does she have straight or curly hair? My DD is almost 5 and can certainly brush her own ( long) hair. I am pretty pragmatic when it comes to things like that: you can either brush it and keep it neat or we can go to the salon and get you a cute, but shorter cut so it's more manageable.

Now DD had straight hair that is easy to maintain, so I think my expectations are appropriate. If your DD has curly hair she may need help for a while longer... But she can definitely be expected to try to take care of herself. A shorter cut doesn't have to equal a punishment - but rather it may make things easier on both of you...
Good luck!

I love long hair on girls and do not like it shorter. Probably because my mom put a bowl on top of my head and cut around it. Yep she really did this and I always hated it. I got mistaken for a boy so many times. My own little girl has long hair. She's three and can brush her own hair. I got her a knot genie (just google it). Works amazingly well and always tells me it doesn't hurt anymore when she or anyone else brushes her hair. A trim would probably do her some good just to get rid of split ends.

First, make sure that her ends are not split--that can really cause a lot of tangles at the ends.

Next, make sure she is using shampoo & conditioner, not one of those shampoo/conditioner in one. Pick a shampoo that is for her hair type.

Spray the detangler on and let it sit for a minute or two, then brush.

With brushing, start at the ends and gradually work up to the top of the head. I start at the ends, and brush them all (I throw them all over my shoulder so that it's sort of like a sideways ponytail, hanging down the front of my shirt). Then work in sections gradually moving up. Also, for me, I only brush my hair when it's dry--if I have to do when it's wet, it seems to tangle even more. Do this in front of a big mirror, so that she can see what she's doing, and you do it first, to show her so she can see.

One thing to do is to put on a show and have you gradually do it, going slow so you don't pull at all. Then, once it's combed through and free of tangles, have her try it. Oh, and don't let her use one of those round brushes, where there are bristles on all sides--that will just get caught in her hair.

Personally, I always found that me brushing my hair (once I knew what I was doing) caused less pain than someone else if the someone else wasn't really careful.

Also, you can use the carrot approach--you can offer to do her hair for her in cute braids/pigtails/etc. once she has brushed her hair out.

Another thought is to take her to a friendly hairstylist, and make an appointment, and ask the stylist beforehand to talk to her about caring for her hair.

If this continues though, dad's desire for the long hair may need to go by the wayside--if long hair & brushing is causing lots of misery and tears, short hair and little brushing is a better choice (at least in my opinion :).

I never had long hair as a child because my mom said that wasn't happening until I was old enough to take care of it myself. I thought I'd let my daughter have long hair, but she hated clips, headbands, ponytails and having it brushed. I, on the other hand, hated dealing with the knots, seeing it fall into her face, and seeing it get into her mouth when she ate or talked. So, until she's old enough to fully take care of it herself, my daughter has an adorable bob just barely long enough for a ponytail or braid if desired. So much easier to care for; I love it. She can put on leave in conditioner, and it resists tangles. She's 4, and she brushes her own hair for school. I think my mom was on the right track....I'd get it cut until she's old enough to fully take care of it.

my daughters hair is down to the middle of her back, she doesnt want it cut she wants long hair, i dont care either way bc its HER hair but we do take her in every 6 months (sometimes more) to get a trim especially if her hair is starting to get VERY hard to brush