Daughter Afraid of Bees

Sometimes the best thing to do is to educate about bees. My stepdaughter was stung 3 times by a wasp and was terrified of them and wouldn't go outside. So we got some books about wasps and she learned about them and their habits. She learned that wasps get aggrivated when they are swatted at, and she got stung because she swatted at the wasp with a tennis racket and angered it. Now she knows that if a wasp comes near she should walk away. She should also avoid hitting things like trees and other places where they might live with a tennis racket.

We also learned that bees and wasps like sweet smells and soda pop. So if we are going outside she should not wear sweet-scented lotion or perfume. If she has pop outside we use a plastic cover (made for soda cans) to keep the bees out and so they aren't attracted.

I think 5-years old is old enough to learn about bees. I'd get a children's book about bees out of the library and sit with her and teach her about them. Then she can learn for herself about how they work, and that they are actually good little honey makers, and they won't bother her unless she scares them. Ask her lots of questions like "what can you do?" so she feels like she's coming up with the solutions.

Hope that helps!

My son had the same issues - but was never stung by a bee. He had always been completely afraid of bees - would bug the lunch ladies on the playground and hug the walls. The way I finally got him past this irrational fear, was to have him talk to a therapist and they used art therapy. He sculpted bugs during one session. After that, believe it or not, he was significantly better. Along with the bug sculpting, they talked about the reasons for bugs and why they are necessary. Hope this helps!!

My 6 year old daughter was stung a few weeks ago by a wasp, and we went through the same thing. To be honest she's a bit of a drama queen, and with her I have to do a lot of tough love or the drama just escalates. So, i just kept telling her to come out and making her stay. Now, she's still afraid, but at least will be outside. It's a process with her. She needed to see that she won't always be stung, every time there's a bee around.

Anyway, I don't know if that is any help, but that's what worked with us. Also, soon the bees will be gone and hopefully by next summer, she will be less afraid.

Good luck!

I'm interested in the responses you get to this inquiry. My daughter, now 12, has developed a fear of anything that might sting (bees, wasps, etc), and thus will always wear long sleeves when she has to be outside - even in 90+ degree heat! I don't know what to do - and she has never been stung.

I think it just might take some time. And maybe a lot of time. My now-21-year-old was stung her first day in first grade on the playground at recess. It seems like it was just yesterday and it was SO TRAUMATIC for her. She didn't want to go outside pretty much that entire fall until the frost killed all the bees. I knew bee stings hurt, but was reminded that next year when one got me. It hurts really really really badly -- at least it felt that way to me. So I had some empathy for her then. She still really hates bees but never has been stung again. It's just a bad time of year and they are all of a sudden aggressive because their food supply (flowers and plants) is dwindling, so they go after food and people who are near the food, etc. I would try to take her out for things to do where there is no food. Then the bees wouldn't be so close by. But I still think it's going to just take a lot of time.

Hi D.,
My son had this same fear when he was this age (and he was never stung by a bee!). It got so bad he was terrified to go out on the playground at school, and broke into hives when his class had to line up for an extended period of time one day, and he had seen a bee. What helped him was to do small practical things to discourage bees. For instance, he skipped wearing yellow for a while, since bees are attracted to that color. I also put a little bit of rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle and spritzed his clothing, since bees do not like alcohol. Of course, I am sure this did nothing to actually keep the bees away, but he felt some power in it. I also just spoke to him very calmy about the bees. Yes, bees can sting you and this hurts, but it is rare and does not usually happen. He outgrew his fear by the next summer. Good luck!!

My son went through the same thing, even the wind would freak him out because he got stung on the ear :( One thing that worked for us was our "magic bee spray", (otherwise known as water in a bottle) that we would mist all over him before going out so the bees would stay away from him. The power of suggestion is so strong at this age that he was okay after getting sprayed. After a week or so he was fine going outside without it!

This is kind of a tough one because your daughter's fear is a mostly realistic one. Don't take her on picnics for a good while, like until next Spring, or to other situations where bees can be counted on to be buzzing around, ie. gardening. In my backyard they are curious little creatures and come buzzing around me whenever I am out gardening for a short time. Going to playgrounds on artificial surfaces is one thing that you can do to take her outside and be away from bees. As the year goes on and the bees are gone, speak about how they really only sting us when they get frightened by us and that if she will not scream and swing her arms in the air, but just walk away quickly, she should be okay. Tell her that it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for a bee to get stuck in her hair and it won't happen again. Then tell her that if she should get stung again she will be braver this time, she will be older and she will know that someone will take care of her quickly, as you did in the past. She is a little older, but it is very common for children to get afraid of bees or spiders and not want to play outdoors. Fortunately, the great enjoyment that they get from doing so works in your favor to get them over it.