Daughter Afarid to Poop (On the Potty and in Her Diaper)

My daughter recently had a similar problem. We did two day of LOTS of fruit. Every meal I gave her was about half fruit and by the end of day two, things were moving. Fruits with a lot of water are supposed to be the most helpful. I fed her grapes, plums, watermelon, peaches, pineapple, strawberries, you name it.

OMG I am so sorry. Our son does the same thing. He holds it so long it hurts to come out and then we have to use a stool softner to even get him to go.

We have tried the following things, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I'm sorry, but I hope some of this helps:

Tablespoon of Dark Karo syrup per day
Offering a piece of chocolate each time he poops (the most recent success)
Letting him run a lot each day (it helps move things along)
Feeding him beans to give him gas (which later moves things along)
Stool Softner
Letting him read a book by himself in the bathroom on the toilet with the door closed
Going back to majorly praising him when he does go

K.:
I hope this is new information as I haven't gotten to read all the responses. Yes - it's common. It can have much or little to do with diet. Fiber does work wonders - but only if there is sufficient liquid (preferably water) taken in or the fiber just sticks in there and makes the problem worse. Here's what I learned when my little potty trainer would pee-pee train but would not do BMs on the potty. The large intestine needs water and movement to work properly. So keep the water coming and get your little one more exercise (Moving the legs helps peristalsis in the large intestine which moves the poo through) Also - our little ones can WILL themselves to hold onto poo. Once they have - it stretches the large intestine and makes the BMs bigger and more painful. Holding onto it draws more water out of the poo and makes them harder. See the vicious cycle? They start this and then it just keeps getting worse. We happened to go to my son's 3 year check-up right after he started holding. The Dr told me to go get Miralax (no prescription needed)and give him 1 teaspoon per day in juice or water on an empty stomach (we do 1st thing in the morning before food)Doc said he may need to be on it consistently for about 6 months. I'd say it took a week for him to go consistently. Miralax is a stool softener but not a harsh, cramping laxative like some of old. It draws water into the intestine so the waste will leave and people will have a natural response to go to the bathroom. He literally CAN'T hold it now. The physiological reason to get this corrected is that the large intestine has to shrink back down with regular sized BMs so eventually they will go naturally without laxative help. But for now - this is working - without pain, hesitation or accidents and he's totally potty trained in 2 months. He is so excited when he goes #2. Every time he jumps off the potty and yells - I DID IT !!!! He wants to see it and show others - we are really hoping that stops before he goes to school. S.

Hi K.- my son is going throught the same thing, and you feel so bad for them, you can tell they need to go but for some odd reason hold it in! My doctor encouraged more fruits and vegetables, and we actually give prune juice in the morning and Miralax (stool softner) mixed with water daily, which has helped greatly! I hate to use a stool softner, but whatever works! My son is 2 1/2 and this problem started when we tried potty training, and that's when he got all backed up! Good luck
K.

there is some good advice on askdrsears.com under the chilhood illness tab you will find a section on constipation and all the way down the page they talk about toddlers holding stools...hope that helps

My doctor recommended Miralax for several months when my daughter had the same issues. The longer she held it in the harder it got for her to go. I also tried adding more water to her diet and a little less cheesy things. Then I showed her stickers and made her a special rewards sticker book. Each time she would use the potty we added a special sticker to her book. She loved it and it worked. Now she has no problems going on the potty.

Did she have a hard time going last time she went? If she did I would venture to say she is probably afraid it is going to hurt. My daughter had such a hard time going when she was little that her doctor put her on miralax to help her be able to go with out me having to help her go. If I were you I would call her doctor & see what they recommend.

I think the first thing to do is make sure she has plenty of prune juice and pedialite (works for my daughter) so she can't hold it too much. I would also go to the doctor because it may be painful for her to eliminate or she just had one that was a little too large for her and is afraid to go again. Then maybe you could show her how you go and say bye bye and do something fun when you flush. Sometimes a little encouragement goes a long way. Good Luck!

Maybe she has held it so long she is afraid of the pain of going? I would give her a fleet baby lax (they let me give them to my daughter at 2 months for severe constipation) so I guess they are pretty safe. She won't be able to hold it after that she will have to have a bowel movement so I would make sure she had a diaper on. Might cure the fear of the pain if you can just get it over with.

Best Wishes!

this is common but that does not make it easier (i hate hearing a dismissive, 'this is common'). my daughter has a long history of this problem. if she is 4 or older it may be a control thing. my daughter is 2.5 and with her it's a vicious cycle that starting with an exceptionally hard bm so that now she holds them in frequently. hopefully if you straighten this out early the cycle won't start. if it's been over 5 days i'd give her a fleet enema. it's a little messy but totally worth it. we do it while watching a favourite video as a distraction on a shower curtain. with us it is chronic so our old doc put her on lactulose and the new doc seems to think it's a good idea. it is a sugar not digested by the body that helps poop retain water to make it easier to pass. fleet is otc at pharmacy, get pediatric one, lactulose is a prescription. i'd definitely put a call into your doc. good luck, i am sending you positive thoughts.

Is she your only child? Has anything in her life changed that you know of? I have a friend whose son did the same thing and her doctor said it was a control issue for him. Meaning that he had no control over certain aspects in his life and this was one thing he could control. If it continues I'd definitely recommend seeing her pediatrician.