Daughter Accused of Stealing

If it is an IPOD and not an IPhone then you cannot track it. I would ask them HOW they did it-just show up to the house and say you would like to see their information-pretend you are really concerned and on their side. At the point where they cannot give you their information I would accuse them of lying to you. Say-you are saying that you have proof and you cannot show it to me??? Sorry, I am not buying it. And you need to STOP accusing my daughter right now. Seriously-this is a huge thing they are blaming your daughter for and it sounds like they are really escalating it. I bet they are telling everyone they know also. One thing I think you should consider, and without knowing these people it is impossible for me to even guess if this could be the case, is that they did this on purpose to frame your daughter and take her out of the popularity pool at school. So crazy to think but then again there are crazy people out there-esp mothers desperate to have popular daughters. Or their daughter could be doing it without the parents knowledge.

I have a 13 yr old and to be perfectly honest with you, this is the time right now that we can either make it or break it with them. I would just ask her one more time - if she has never given you any reason to doubt her in the past just put it all down before her and tell her that you want to believe her but that you just want her to know that the police may become involved & that if she did do this for whatever reason, to please come forward now. If she says she didn't do it and you believe her, then so be it. If it turns out she did then she is the one that will have to suffer the consequences. I realize there are others that will be exposed to all that is involved but if you believe your daughter, then she needs to know. On the other hand, if she did it, the she needs to fess up to it and make things right. Best of luck to you.

She lets her 12 year old have a Facebook account? I don't even think that is allowed on FB? I don't know if your daughter stole it, but I think the other mom has crappy judgement. I think you always have to back your kids up, unless they prove themselves to be untrustworthy.

Oh Man!!

What a situation to be in....it would make me nuts to think my child stole as well....

I didn't know that ipods came with GPS...if they can triangulate it to your street - then they should be able to find out WHERE it is. they should be able to cancel the service so that the charges don't go through the roof as well.

Well, I would say that if your daughter is willing to take the lie detectors, etc. I would stick by her...tell the other mother this - that she swears that she didn't do it - is willing to take a lie detector and such.

I'm wondering if the other child didn't lose it and instead of coming clean has decided to pin it on someone else....I know - a horrible thing to think - but if the child has a hard time accepting responsibility for her actions - it might be able to "pin" it on someone else.

I would ask her to check with the other children that were at the sleepover as well. Ask when the last time the child had it and where....offer to help search for it.

IF your daughter is lying to you about this - damn - she's good. Don't let this a show stopper for you. Just make sure that she knows she can tell you ANYTHING and don't accuse her...ask...continue to talk WITH her and NOT accuse her.

BEST OF LUCK!

Someone took my daughter's friends phone and was making long distance calls and she was blamed. I didn't even know about it. The parents didn't tell me but said she wasn't allowed at their house. When I heard about it from other people I asked the girls brother about it and he said he knew she wasn't even in town that weekend and that he told his parents it wasn't her. I guess they finally found out who it was but I didn't like that my daughter was being accused without them even talking to me about it. This is why young kids shouldn't have such valuable things. They should be worrying about their grades and keeping their rooms clean not sitting on their phones texting. It is very distracting. When we go to dinner tonight I'll have to check and make sure my kid sdon't sneak their Ipods inside. The reason they will try is because they don't know the family that well and will be extremely bored since they're aren't kids their age. Without the distraction of a phone or Ipod (they text on them) they will have to mingle and that is what I want to teach my children to do.

I just want to say, kids today communicate on FB. Some of them NEED cell phones and technology is never going to slow down.

It is up to Parents to teach their children to respect all of this.

We cannot ban our kids from advancements in todays society, but we can and should each teach them to respect it and to take on the responsibility.

That being said, Do make it safe for your daughter to always be honest with you.. sounds like you have..

Remind your daughter that the behaviors of each member of the family can reflect on the rest of the family.. sounds like she appreciates this,.

Also remind her that she knows the truth and no matter what anyone else says about her as long as she knows she is honorable, she can hold her head high and you will have her back.. sounds exactly like what you are doing.

When I was this age, my mom told me, "I will ALWAYS love you. No matter what. You can do the worst thing in the world, but I will be by your side. I may be disappointed or hurt by your actions, but I will be there for you."

This totally empowered me. I was and still am a pleaser, so I would never want to disappoint or hurt my mother so I always tried to do the right thing.

You are being a great mom. Stick by your daughter.
Remind this other mom, that you really do believe she is being honest and if they slander your daughter, there will be repercussions.

The previous posts are correct. 12 year olds should not have expensive phones or iPods, and they shouldn't have FB accounts! They aren't mature or responsible enough to handle them (as evidenced by the fact that the girl lost her phone and has no idea where it was), and there are too many parents who are either uninvolved or not technologically proficient enough to monitor these things. I'm not sure I would throw things like "lie detector tests" at my 12 year old. The police probably wouldn't do that, and certainly couldn't without your permission. I'm sure that GPS tracking can locate things but the mother telling you it's on your street and not being more specific tells me she's reaching and hoping to get a reaction out of you. I'd stay clear of her for now. She needs to watch her own kid and cut back on the technology, not worry so much about your kid. Meanwhile, I'd suggest that everyone let their 12 year olds actually BE 12 year olds, and not have them using so many replacements for human interaction. They need to be learning to relate to each other and to talk, not just learning to use the keyboard and their thumbs to text each other.

I have AT&T Family Map-it allows me to track where my children are if their phone is on and in range. It does not give an exact location-it will show what neighborhood they're in or if they're on campus, etc. No 12 yr old child is going to take a lie detector test over a lost ipod! Not exactly a felony. Do you know how many cell phones and music playing thingies and such my children have lost over the years? Dozens-it's what kids do-they get an expensive device, that is made to be slippery and paper thin-then they lose it. Tell your daughter's friend's mother to stop threatening you and check the sofa cushions and pick on someone else!

Until there is proof otherwise you believe your child and make sure she KNOWS you believe her and stand by her.
You have done your part helping her go through her things and asking the appropriate questions. If she says she didn't do it you have to trust her and believe in her.

ATT family map is known for being inaccurate. I don't know if it was lost or stolen. I seriously doubt Ipods have GPS or that it would say your house. I think this is a big lie.
Lie detectors are not used in cases of theft.
Lie detectors are not admissable in court.
This is overkill on whoever is threatening this and a mom like me would explain it to any child who shared this story with me. That would ruin the trust. Be honest about it. Kids can go online and ask these questions and plenty of folks will be telling them.
I would tell the mom in a firm way that I don't know what happened to the IPOD but I do know my daughter didn't take it. I would add she needs to stop threatening your child, the truth about lie detectors, and put an end to this.

So what is this all about, the GPS, the FB, rude text messages, the lost Ipod, etc? This girl's mom thinks your daughter A) stole the Ipod B) hacked her daughter's FB and changed her settings C) with great technical skill managed to send anonymous mean text messages to all of her daughter's friends? And she bought into the 12-year-old's drama and went around tracking cell phone messages?

Now the Mom is asserting that your daughter is sending mean text messages about her daughter to all their friends. Text messages are not anonymous messages. When you send a text your phone number appears on it. You know who you are getting them from when they arrive. What does she think, that your daughter went out and bought a pay-per-use cell phone to bash her daughter? For what reason?

This mom must think your daughter is bound for silicon valley, while she's traipsing around GPS tracking text messages and cell phones. Frankly, the mom is a little too involved in the whole issue.

I have a real good solution to the problem. Get rid of the expensive Ipod, the cell phone and FaceBook account for a 12-year-old.

They don't need those kinds of things, they aren't old enough to have acquired the judgement to handle them, and this just demonstrates it. Kids this age are vastly impressionable, expecially by their peers and current trends. It's very difficult to keep them focused on their studies. These kind of electronic devices cause further distraction and many problems. The music they are exposed to may be sexually explicit, they can get into trouble with sexting and bullying situations with a cell phone and FB. They should be involved with healthy activities such as sports, dance or other physical activity type classes, and working on academic skills/getting ready for a vocation or college. If they have extra time, volunteering in organizations that help others and helping around the house, are activities that help them mature into competant adults.

Please make sure that your daughter doesn't have access to any of these devices and a lot of your current problem will cease to exist.

I suggest that you relay what we say to this mom and let her know that if she continues her vendetta against your child that you will obtain a restraining order.

If your daughter didn't take the ipod but feels you don't believe her, she'll be alone in telling the truth. How would that feel, knowing you are telling the truth but that nobody believes you including your own mom?

If your daughter did take the ipod and is lying about the other events but you continue to believe in her, either her conscience will bother her until she fesses up, or her conscience won't bother her and she will lie again (and probably again and again)...and you will have an opportunity to catch her and go back to apologize to this family.

Let her know you want to trust her and that once trust is broken, it takes a long time to rebuild. Threats about the police or lie detector tests may make her afraid, but won't make her tell the truth. She has never done anything like this in the past, so I think the best thing to do right now is to believe her.

I'm sure I would trust my child to be telling me the truth but I would also be using a second set of eyes and ears just in case she isnt being honest. Kids are not all that smart and after a certain period of time passes by I'm certain the truth will come out. "Wow mom, how did this ipod get in my back pack? Or, look mom, I found an ipod in the bushes...." Be aware that your daughter may have taken it and even just hid it to be mean (out of envy of course).
Hopefully, the ipod will show up.
And I know you must totally hate this. You will feel crappy until there is some closure of some sort.
I might do a room search when my daughter wasnt home for a case like this..
Your daughters friend may have lost it prior to your daughters visit and is using your daughter as a scapegoat so she doesnt get in trouble for her own irresponsibility.... making it seem like your daughter took it.
You and the other mom should have a few more convos on the subject so that a wall doesnt form, tell her you would like to avoid that, but one of you has a 12 yr old that isnt telling the truth and maybe together you guys can figure it out.

My son (16 yrs old) lost his phone. We looked everywhere, turned furniture up side down. About a year later found it under a chair recliner (over the year it had worked its way down through the recliner on to the floor). People are so quick to point fingers at others. I pray if and when the phone shows up that the Mother will have the decency to say "SORRY"