Dangerous Situation??

Hey T.,

YES, my husband's cousin's ex wife has been doing this to both of her girls for years. We just found out awhile back ago, and I'm appalled like you. I had never heard of such a thing!

When my eldest daughter was about 2 (she's 8 now) we took a mommy & me craft class. Another mom was telling me about the "wonders" of Benadryl for calming a cranky kid. She said she would even give it to a neighbor's kid she babysat, when the two girls got too excitable & she needed some quiet time. YIKES!!

I don't know that there is anything you can/should do. Your neighbor may have even been exagerating or joking. I would probably just say something like "Hey, I was reading about the effects of Benedryl on kids who aren't sick and it's really dangerous, etc etc blah blah blah."

You would be shocked & surprised how many parents use this. Having said that, maybe she doesn't know about the current studies that show how dangerous this can be for small children. Maybe you could bring it up again & let her know that you know someone who used to give benedryl to her kids also until she learned about the dangerous effects it could have on small children (even death). Maybe you could even pull up some articles on the internet & print them & approach her from a concerned parent & neighbor who just found out herself about what could happen to children if you use this over the counter drug on them. Try not to be judgemental, but informative when you talk to her about this. She is your neighbor & you may be living next to her for a while so I would go about this carefully.

Good luck & God Bless!

Welcome to the world of parenting! Yikes. It sounds like, however well meaning your neighbor is, your neighbor has a very different take on parenting than you do. If this were another era, she might be using whisky instead.

Unfortunately, your somewhat limited in what you can do. I mean, you can say something but realize it may not accomplish much more than ticking her off or, at worst, causing a rift. You can distance yourself from her in order to not have to listen to her parenting advice. Or you can go about as you have been, and just take everythign she says with a big grain ol of salt.

I'll never forget one time I was at Dairy Queen when my son was itty bitty and this woman gave me her parenting advice. It basically amounted to hitting the child begining at about 6 months (oh yes, this is a school of thought -- Parenting up the child or somethign like that). I think I sat there with my jaw on the floor wearing a Miss American smile and in utter shock that anyone would hit a baby and consider that normal.

Good for you for listening to your gut btw. You should always listen to your gut. I think you're right on about the benedryl thing. I'm not a fan of medicating unless there's a reason. Your baby is fussy/crying for a reason and I highly doubt it's allergies. Not sure if I gave you any advice, but I understand completely why you would be creeped out. You have good reason to not follow her "advice".

I agree with the advice to print some stuff off the internet and give it to her. Just say that after she told you about it, you looked it up to find out more about it & found out all this stuff.

But I also don't think you have to worry that she is using it daily or anything. She did say to use it when the baby is inconsolable which doesn't mean exactly regularly.

Obviously drugging a baby or child is extremely dangerous, but my own pediatrician did tell me when my baby had colic that if she seemed not to be getting any rest (or even if I wasn't getting any rest since it would be important to my own health to sleep) that we would try to give her sleep aids and start with benadryl since it is the mildest & OTC. But that is under doctor's guidance and direction only. I didn't end up doing it, because I didn't want to drug her either and felt she was getting enough rest... even though I wasn't :(

You know with all the drug recalls going on with childrens medicine I would not agree with giving a baby Benadryl. In my experience, when my little ones are given Benadryl it seems to make them hyper, not knock them out! I don't think you are over reacting but I do agree with the others for you just to stay away from her. True, different forms of parenting but she sounds like a nut! LOL Besides, those labels on the bottles advise you not to give that kind of stuff to kids younger than 2 years old! Whatever happened to an old fashioned car ride to knock the kiddo out?

This is a bad situation. Because I have a Home Day Care I am continually educating myself and it is also required by the state. But I looked up what was happening in day cares that made so many sceptical. I found a woman I believe in Ok that gave all her day care kids benedyl to get them to nap. One died. I also had a gal come interview me who her child was the one in a home day care with an 18 yr old who put two girls in a closet and one died and it was her child that survived. Then they leave them in vans and forget them. It is very dangerous to give small children meds. Most of the prescriptions do not even give a doze of how much and tell you for a child under two consult your doctor. This is very concerning. I would tell your doctor. She may have to have an investigation and really not realize the danger. I gave my dog some when she had a reaction to her shots and she was so wiped out I could trim her and do whatever. Another thing is if they use that on a regular basis then when they need to really use it for something it probably will not work. I started in my 20's using it for allergies ( doctor approval) and it did not work after awhile. What some young moms do and risk for their own comfort. God Bless you in this situation. G. W

Unfortunately, a lot of parents do this. I agree with Sandee A., she probably doesn't even know it's harmful & you could approach her with the info. By letting her know you were "just looking it up".

Actually, doctors have been known to recommend something like a little children's Benadryl for overwrought children to help them sleep. However, its usually for toddlers and kids that age. A little bit of infant Motrin/Tylenol can also be helpful. This is not for every day, but is occasionally OK. But, note that the recommendation varies by the child and his/her tolerance/reaction to medications. In some instances, Benadryl can make a child more agitated (my son among; makes him angry and sometimes crazy energetic, and not in a positive way. For an infant, if it's just the occasion irritability, check all symptoms to make sure there's not another underlying cause for the behavior. If it's simply a case of the kid being overstimulated (being handled by too many people and too much activity and new things for too long at a time), there's not chance of a tummy ache, ear infection, etc.... a little Motrin, Benadryl or other similar medication (not a full dose,just enough to have an effect) can be helpful in getting the child calmed down enough to sleep.

I've heard of this for long plane rides, but not for calming a fussy baby. I would talk with her about the dangers of this and back it up with some research on the internet like someone else suggested. She may tell you to mind your own business, but at least you have done what you can. Usually when babies cry and they aren't hungry, tired, bored or in pain, they just want the comfort of mom's arms. There is nothing wrong with just holding them or putting them in a sling while you go about your day.

I didn't read the other responses, but I've heard this used VERY often! The first time I heard it was with an acquaintance who had been told to use it before taking her little one on a plane, so she did it and it worked. She was so excited. Now I hear more and more that people do that. It's horrible!

I think without knowing the whole situation or exactly what she meant, you might be over reacting. She could have been joking, making it sound like she does it all the time when it's only an occasional thing. When my son is super cranky and I've tried everything I can think of to console him, I've given him either tylenol or motrin, thinking maybe he's in pain somehow. When he was a baby (he's 2 now), he couldn't tell me if he was hurting (especially while he was teething). BUT...it wasn't an everyday thing, only occasionally, and only if there was absolutely no consoling him after a while. I've never given my son benadryl, although his pedi just told me this week I could for seasonal allergies as needed (but again, he's 2 years, not 2 months). I don't ever give my son a medication unless his pedi gives the ok (even OTC stuff). If you knew she were doing this everyday, all the time, then you would have every right to be concerned. But without knowing more, I would just let it go. The only thing you might do if it's still nagging you is what a couple other moms suggested...do some research, or even call your doc, and then let her know the results.

I think you are over reacting. My pediatrician was the one that recommended my giving it to our little one when she was extremely fussy and wasn't getting any sleep. Understand that it was NOT a huge dose and this is was the CHILDREN"S version not the full strength Adult Version. It was also recommended to stop Diarrhea. In small NOT Regular doses it is very mild to their systems.

SAHM mom of three: 20(married and starting her own family), 19 (freshman in college), and 5(will be 6 in two days and in kindergarten).