Hi C.,
I have dealt with the same situation. I have a three year old daughter who was extremely colicky and fussy as an infant. Around 8 weeks of age we found out that she was allergic to dairy (we gave a supplemental bottle of similac formula and she developed a rash and vomited). This was something I had suspected with her since she was extremely fussy everytime I ate my favorite foods! (cheese, yogurt, milk, ice cream, etc.) Anyways, after many go arounds with the pediatrician we figured it out and then realized she was allergic to soy as well. I took dairy out of my diet completely and after a few weeks she was like a different baby. At 3 yrs of age she can now tolerate dairy but we did have to withold it until about 18 months because anytime we tried she had reactions. I now have a 7 mth old son who was very similar. Extreme colic, back arching, frequent hiccups, restless sleeper etc. Right away I recognized the symptoms and cut out dairy, soy and all tree nuts from my diet. This has been very difficult but it made our life a lot easier! Regarding recipes, I always substitute with rice milk. In fact, I made a roast turkey breast last night, with mashed potatoes. I used chicken broth, rice milk and earth balance tub butter. I also used the rice milk to make gravy. I have developed a real appreciation for olive oil. For instance I make homemade cornbread with rice milk and olive oil instead of butter. If you need fast frozen food, Amy's is a brand that you can find in the natural food section at your local market and they make lots of non-dairy meals. I also developed an appreciation for burritos (homemade or to-go) without sour cream or cheese. We have a lot of guacamole and hummus too. There are lots of soups (minestrone, split pea) and chilis that are dairy free too. Basically there is a lot of label reading involved and it does take some adjusting but eventually you get the hang of it. Unfortunately, the hardest part is that you end up having to cook more, something that can be SO difficult in those early weeks with a newborn and toddler.
Good luck,
T.