Why wait for answers? The next time she might not be so lucky. Waiting for the next time and ignoring the CULMINATION of accidents with no explanation and markings on her body in bizarre places, as well as the behavioral changes warranted the pediatrician to inform me that SHE was filing a report with the CPS.
The number one concern is the safety of the child WEEKLY "small" accidents, that led to a bigger cut in the back of a 2 year old's head is hardly overreacting!!!! In addition to the finger slammed in a door. There is cause for concern when there is no explanation, no note sent, email, phone message and all I get is stonewalling from his mother. There is no explanation as to where her dad is when all of these accidents are taking place. None! How embarrassing was I to tell the doctor (whom he has yet to contact to get health updates that he claimed he wanted) I had no idea where he was with the injuries, etc.
The pediatrician stated the child's environment and as a mother/primary caretaker SHOULD be concerned and if I continued to let them build to something even more serious, then the report would be filed against me for neglect.
A child 2 with a cut in the back of head, could lead to unexplained medical issues that I would have never thought attributed to the cut had I not seen it. It's not a scratch. It was slightly open with dried blood and if you know my child, my child HOLLERS and it broke my heart to know that she must've cried to no end. Did she get hit with something? I don't know. Did she get pushed and fell back on her head? I don't know. All she said was "x hit me" The same with the finger getting slammed in a "car door". I don't know how.
How would that make you feel to know you did nothing because these were small things, and when the biggy happens and there's no hope and it's too late and they say well you never complained before, then it becomes the blame game.
It's about my child's emotional, physical well being, always have been which is why I decided to divorce. I don't care about the impact on others, they are not my concern especially when they are witnessing my child get injured and not reporting.
Word to the wise parents and concerned parents ***who are capable of looking beyond relationships*** and putting their child's best interest first why wait for answers? why wait for something bigger to happen and the child might not recover?
Thanks to those fearless moms for your advice! Glad to have received it.
Thanks to you ALL for giving me the courage to go forward with my concerns. I was interviewed by CPS, and learned that he has hit our daughter. She's only 2 so my question was under what circumstances. I don't use physical discipline, there's a way to reason with a child and time out, but to hit her and knowing he has a temper, I'm concerned about how often. At school if there's an issue, I am told. I support the visits, but I do not and will not condone the neglect (no matter how minor it may seem to others), physical discipline under any circumstances. When we were married he used violence to get his point across and I have every reason to worry about his disciplinary approach with our child since he was abused for many, many years as a child and NEVER got help for his trauma. As for the MIL. she is not a factor. I will make sure the court knows about her attempts to bully me and her interactions with our daughter. My attorney (when I had one) suggested given the MILs history with my EH and her other grandchildren, that if she was involved she should be supervised during visits and my EH did not like that so he withdrew her as an option. The history is there and the history of my wanting my daughter to have a relationship with her father is SOLID!!! I However, if she's sent back with a head injury (that has now left the feel of a tiny lump in her head) I have every right to not send her until we are heard in court and stipulations are in place. I AM STILL IN NEED OF KNOWING WHAT THE PERSON HIT HER WITH THAT CAUSED THE CUT, BLOOD AND THE TINY BUMP IN THE AFTERMATH. That had to hurt o:( o:( o:( And it pains me that I was not there to comfort and support her and it was obvious they were gonna cover it up and hope it wasn't discovered like her thumb. Sad situation all around because I don't feel we are making progress and I am not going to compromise where my child's and my safety is concerned.
Glad the doctor is stepping in. I would limit contact witht he father AND the grandmother. You don't know who is doing the harming of your child so to me everyone is a suspect. Keep track of everything the grandmother says in the e-mail. Keep copies of everything. Good luck!
In the end, you are the mom and I'm so glad you are pushing this. No child should be hurt with "love". GRRRRR
WOW!! I just went back and read your postings...I applaud you for everything you're doing for your daughter and the manner in which you're handling your less than helpful in-law!! Your MIL sounds like a real whack-job just like mine!!!
My only thot (I don't really have any additional advice) is to keep documenting everything like you're already doing!!! Print out those emails from your sweet MIL and keep going in the direction you are!!!
Do you have any documentation of the treatment your ex got from his own mother? I would dig for that and use it!!
While I totally get that you want your daughter to have a relationship with her father (I reserve Dad or Daddy for someone that deserves the title); if he's not willing then I would make sure she has other strong male figures in her life - do you have a brother, uncle, Dad??? Remember, it's the same-sex parent that has the biggest influence in her life!
Good luck and God Bless!!!!
That's what I said in my answer to your last question. Better safe than sorry. Also it's a big piece of info you should've put at the beginning that her father was abusive/was abused by his mother. That's makes it all the more likely that these aren't little 'accidents'.
i'm glad it worked out and he;s reporting. sometimes issues like these cant be communicated as to how serious there are in writing. not knowing about your husband and mil beung abusive and not knowing how big the cut is might have led to some of the responses that didnt think it was serious
if not knowing any of that info you J. said over 2 years my kid has had little cuts, a cut on the back of her head, got her finger slammed in a door
most people would say gosh my kids gts injuries like that all of the time
knowing the more deatiled info you put down here now I have to say good for you to go to the doctor...i'm glad he's calling cps and i hope they investigate thoroughly and find the truth and your daughter is safe
I hope others understand what you wrote. I have no idea who you are in relation to the child, and who is hurting the child and who is just looking on.
