Creating a Legacy for Sick Father in Law.

I like all the other ideas about the letters & videos. What about one of those recordable books from Hallmark??

When my grandfather became ill, my mother video and audio taped him telling stories of his childhood and what life was like back then. She also had him do a smushed up all the holidays in one holiday week. One day was Halloween, one was birthdays, one was Thanksgiving, one was Christmas, one was 4th of July, and one was Father's day. We gave gifts, ate thanksgiving dinner, and christmas dinner, wore costumes etc. so we could get a whole year in. We took tons of pictures and made a memory book with stories for each holiday from his childhood.
He also wrote each of us a letter to be opened on our 18th birthday about his hopes and dreams for us. It was awesome

My FIL suffered from brain cancer and ultimately suffered from dementia. I wish that while he was coherent that they filmed him telling stories of his life, which was really interesting, or him just reading stories to the kids. It would be nice to have him to read to your kids and the fact that they will be able to see and hear him will be great. On a side note, my husband's family refused to see the true nature of his father's condition and they always thought he would get better. They put off getting all of his affairs in order and after he died it was a giant mess. Please make sure that your FIL has a will and clear instructions of his wishes. It tore my husband's family apart, and after 3 1/2 years, there is still a lot of bitterness. I think it all could of been avoided with communication about my FIL's wishes.

first take videos... of him with the kids.. you can pick up a cheap video camera if you don't have one... this way your kids will remember him... i hope htis helps..

Family history is one of the best legacies to have. If your FIL can do it, help him record the story of his life - on video or on audio. Go for the details as well as the high spots (the major spots are good to know, but the details make the story more real).

If there are old family photographs kicking around, this is the time to get them out and get your FIL to identify who's who, before that knowledge is gone forever. Do you live near your FIL - can your children visit him if he's well enough right now? Take pictures of them with him, so that they will have those pictures later (your baby isn't going to remember his grandpa, but he/she will have the picture with him).

Can your children do some artwork for their grandpa for Christmas? Perhaps that's something he can have up, even if he's in the hospital at that time.

My dad passed away one week before Christmas last year from lung cancer. It was very hard and I am so sorry you are going thru this. All I can tell you is visit as often as you can and take your kids to visit before he gets worse. You want them to remember him as himself, (cancer does some horrible things in the end). Take lots of pictures and make a scrapbook or a collage from the photos. For us and the holidays, gifts became irrelevant last year and time was most important with him. Talk about him often to your kids- remember all of those "fun times with grandpa". And down the road if you feel like it- take part in the American Cancer Society "Relay for Life".. It is an amazing event. I did my first one the spring of this year- my kids were included and they know that they are doing something special for PaPa. We are already planning our next one! Good luck to you and your family- it is very tough. PM me if you have questions or want to talk.

I love this idea of painting a picture of their grandfather for them to have. We did something similar with my great grandmother before she passed and it is a book that we all cherish!

Here's what we did... we invited the extended family members to email us questions that they always wanted to ask and we interviewed her! We organized the responses into a narrative that basically told her life story. We added pictures that people sent to us and created a bound book of her life. We ordered copies for each branch of the family and it has been wonderful!

Some of the questions people asked (she came to the US from Poland when she was 8):
- What was your childhood like in Poland?
- What were the schools like?
- What was your favorite food?
- Why did your family move?
- Describe the boat journey across the Atlantic.
- What was it like coming to a country and not speaking the language?
- Did you ever go back and visit?
- Were you a good student?
- Favorite memories with each one of us (day we were born, weddings, graduations, etc)
- How did you meet your husband? How did he propose? What was your wedding like?
- What did you think when you found out you were going to be a mother?

People were really creative and some of the questions led to really interesting answers... and we learned things about her and our family that we never knew! My father doesn't remember it b/c he was still very young (3), but he was there when his great-grandfather died. In fact, he laid down with him b/c (in his toddler words), he didn't want him to be lonely. I know it sounds creepy, but my great grandmother said it was actually very beautiful and loving. He knew he was having a heart attack and asked my uncle to find my great grandmother and have her call the doctor and he laid on the floor. My father laid next to him and talked to him until the doctor arrived.

Stories you may not have otherwise known will become part of your family history when you write them down.

You guys have given some good ideas. My suggestion would be for you to take the still and moving pictures get as many as you can especially the candid shots. If you can get a family picture of everybody and put it in a book for everybody to keep (brothers and sisters and such). The memories of his childhood and growing up that can be passed down to the next generation. I wish I had had a chance to find out more about my ancestors who lived on State Island around 1900s. Letters to the kids to be opened at different ages is great. Get him to talk to them on audio so that they can hear his voice after he is gone. Have them prerecorded for a prom, a wedding, graduation(s), birth of baby or anything else you guys can think of. The 16th birthday. Mainly the milestones in life. I think the pictures of grandpa with his grandkids all around him is a great idea.

You are in my thoughts. Be strong for him, take care of your immediate family and hubby so that he is all right. Know that when the end is near hubby will need you more than you know and understand. Contact the Cancer Society for help or counseling so that you can cope with the changes that are coming. Make him as comfortable as possible but treat him as he was not as he will be - dignity. Was he in the war? Maybe he has a story he can tell about that experience. Ask about the things you heard about but did not know. Let him talk and you all listen when he wants to talk.

Each day he has is a blessing and enjoy those/these days.

Love and strength to you all.

The other S.

PS After grandpa departs, set up a memorial or a scholarship fund or something in his name. Or do Relay for Life in his honor and wear the shirts proudly that are given. I have several and they are in a special section of my closet (another long story).

I think it would be lovely if your father in law could write a letter to each of your children, to be saved and opened at a later date. He might share his hopes and dreams for them, maybe funny things they do that make him laugh, things they've done or said that meant something to him, etc. A couple of years ago my mother wrote a poem to my daughter to give to her when she turns 21. Mom passed away last year, my daughter will turn 21 in a little over a year, and I know the poem will mean so much to her now that Mom is no longer with us. I'm sorry for what you are about to go through as a family - there is nothing quite so special as the grandparent-grandchild bond. Even though your children are still so little, I know they can feel that love!

I am sorry to hear about your FIL. I scrapbook. Maybe you can do one of him. Ask him for old photos and stories. Maybe you can get him to hand write a letter to the children or his son. Take plenty of photos and video of the children with granddad.

Take as many pictures and video as you can. I wish i would have taken more of my FIL. I am so sorry that you are all going through this.

I agree with all who suggested to take all the videos and pictures that you can. We took a lot of videos and pictures. My daughter loves to show them to her daughter when they come to visit.