Couple Time

I have been told by a lot of people that even though you may not be tired, go ahead and go lay with him and have some couple time. That is what I have to do and my kids are 3 and 6. They want daddy's attention and he gives them the time and then he goes to bed and so I go and lay with him and we talk or read a book or something.

Hi T.,

Nicole is right on here. If you are not quite comfortable with a new babysitter, start with having that person over while you are home and see how they do. After a few hours, you will have a firm sense of this person. Absolutely reach out to family and close friends, even if it is just for a few hours here and there. 20 years of working with couples has shown me how "couple time" can get sacrificed with all the stressors in life; this cannot happen if a marriage is to thrive. Perhaps you live close enough and have the time to maybe surprise him with a lunchtime together. I bet we will see more great ideas here too. S. A. K., MFT

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Chino-CA/S.-A-K...

Your children are old enough to be left to their own devices for an hour or so while mom and dad lock the bedroom door and spend a little quality time together "talking" or "watching tv" just with each other. (BTW, the TV makes a good noise cover! lol!)

Send you daughter to bed, then spend the rest of the time before your hubby goes to sleep alone with him in the bedroom behind a closed and locked door. Your son can fend for himself with a video game console, or a book or a project or something for a little while.

Make the time to nurture your marriage. It will sustain you for the rest of your life if you care for it properly now.

I would invest in a babysitter and have a night out and away. Can they sleep over at friends' houses? I would send them to a friend's house and then reciprocate the favor another time. If you have family close to you I would utilize them as well.

See they are able to goto a friends and a relatives house frothe night.
Or if your children are old enough to understand that mama and daddy needs alittle "ME TIME" for a hour a day. After supper or whenever it is convenant for the both of you. But I would make it the same time as much as possible. This way you can talk about the bills or what you have going on during the week.
This is something my hubby and I started to do when our girls were 9 and 7. And now that they are 14 and 12 they know that what time not to bug us with who is who killing who and or can I go to a friends house. I have told them Are you bleeding? or Do you have a broken bone? So many times and they were just fine. So to keep the communication in your marrige it is worth in the long run. And our girls see that we talk on a regular basis and they can come to us at anytime to talk about thier problems. So I truely believe that this is a life lesson learned for the girls. And it has made our marrige very strong and nothing is ever unsaid.
I really hope this helps you!!!

My son goes to a sitter twice a month. I am so thankful to have found her, she runs a daycare 24/7, so it I know I can count on her.

It's a great way to get some time way and do adult things. My boyfriend and I need that one on one time. Most of the time we don't do much, we may go hiking, watch a movie, etc.

With our kids, we kept the same early bed time on either Fri. night or Sat. night and told the kids that though it was the weekend, mom and dad needed a 'date night'. They would go to bed at their usual time and we would rent a movie and have the living room all to ourselves and by the time we retired to the bedroom, the kids were already asleep :)

Hiring a babysitter can provide you and your spouse an opportunity to spend some alone-time together, to enjoy some time free of to-do-lists and time demands. Maybe the two of you will do nothing, a blissful absence of activity, but merely sitting in the park and silently watching the world go by. You may spend time doing something relaxing that you both enjoy (perhaps an evening at the opera or taking in a game at the stadium). You might even go on a romantic weekend get-away. Whatever it takes for you to recharge your batteries and reconnect as husband and wife, that is what you can do. Try Care4hire.com - it is a great resource!

Get a sitter & go out on a date at least once a month. Or better yet schedule a night where they both stay at a friend's or relatives for the the night & stay home together.

They are old enough to understand that mommy & daddy need to spend time together to.

We get an afternoon babysitter......and I meet my husband for lunch once a week. With a schedule like yours.....intimate time should be put on the calender.....

Our kids are much younger than yours (3 and 11 mos) and we constantly struggle with finding alone time. My husband goes to bed about 8:00 most nights since he wakes up at 3:00 in the morning for work. We try to get some time together on the weekends if we can. I've really had to adjust my thinking though. I was in the mindset that weekend time was family time. However, our counselor told me that we HAVE to make time for US too. So, once a week we leave our kids with a baby sitter and go spend a few hours together. Sometimes we go out to lunch and sometimes we just hang out at home. We also spend our evenings together on the weekends after the kids go to bed. Your kids are old enough that you could probably run out for a lunch date with out too much fuss. Or tell your son that he needs to go to his room at 9:00. He doesn't have sleep, but it will give you and your husband a little time together.
Personally, I'm not one for going to my bedroom with my husband while my kids are awake. I doubt I'll ever feel comfortable doing that. That's just me though. The biggest thing is to make the time, anyway you can.

Get a babysitter and go out for the night. Wake up a little early to have some alone time, ask another mom to swap dinner/movie nights. Take a night for you and give her and her husband a night. No cost and all the families get something out of it. Schedule some sleepovers with grandparents or close friends every so often. It's okay to do this and it's okay to want to spend some alone time with the hubby! You need to. It will make you better partners and parents.