Couple of Potty Training Issues...

As for the whining I have always told my guy I can't understand him when he whines, that he needs to use his words and I walk away or act disinterested if he continues to whine. Whining gets nothing from me, only clear words (to the best of his ability) gets him what he wants and that seems to prompt him to try to make himself understood. Once you have your daughter's speech evaluated you will know more and can then ask for advice in how to help her communicate best, even if she's just resisting telling you.

As for telling me he needed or needs to poop, he usually didn't or doesn't. He's been trained awhile, and I learned when i saw him go to hide or make a face to get him (now I tell him to go) to the toilet. Hiding is pretty normal, many children refuse to use the potty with another person in the room or nearby vicinity, they know they're doing something private and don't want to share it with the world, being disciplined for an accident doesn't necessarily bring hiding on. So YOU need to take notice for the time being, or keep rinsing her undies.

To make it easier for him to go independently we have always used a stool for him to climb up and down from the toilet. I think me expecting him to tell me (though he's very verbal) he had to go made him self-conscious so I put the responsibility of him getting to the toilet on him. Once he COULD do it on his own without involving me (except for clean-up assistance) he wasn't hiding anymore.

And, he was a poop holder, would hold it for days, so I went on the site:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

which taught me about a "power incentive" ~ the incentive that works for YOUR child to use the potty/toilet. He was literally running to go poop on his own in just a little over a day after I introduced his power incentive, so check the site out for ideas that may help you to help your daughter.

Here are my suggestions, take what you like and leave the rest:

1) Teach her to sign the words for using the bathroom. If she has any verbal issues, signing will help alleviate the miscommunications AND the anxiety over trying to get the information out. And you won't have to hear whining. It's also discreet if you are out in public. :)

2) Get a step stool for the bathroom. You might still have to help her up, or maybe not. It might stimulate her desire to be independent a bit more, and get her to initiate going without coming to you in the first place. BUT, it also will give her some stability when she is pooping. It might help her to be able to put her feet on something solid when she is 'going'. It is something that we as adults take for granted.

3) Give her an incentive to poop in the potty as well. I don't think it is uncommon for toddlers to hide at poop time. But if she doesn't mind what comes after, she doesn't really have an incentive to change anything. I let my kiddos pick a fruit flavored lifesaver out of a clear ziploc bag after each successful potty trip. It was a BIG DEAL for them, b/c they got to be in control and make some choices. Grape or green apple or cherry or watermelon flavors??? hmmmmm... eventually, they get tired of choosing or caring about it, but the habit of going potty sticks with them forever. :)

She's just barely 2. I wouldn't necessarily expect her to tell you when she needs to go. My son was over 3 and he still didn't tell me. At her age, you just need to keep taking her into the bathroom and saying "let's go potty." After a while, she'll get it and tell you or just go in by herself when she's capable. As for poop, that takes longer and you'll just have to keep putting her on the potty. If she's willing to go, you've made it through half the battle.

There is usually a pretty long lag between the time they can be without diapers and the time they will consistently tell you they need to go. I would just tell her at regular times during the day that it is time to go and take her there (after meal and nap times, etc.) My daughter was in daycare and they had several regular bathroom times each day, so it was something she was used to.

Hiding to poop is also very common. My older SD had a table she would hide under, every time. I didn't use rewards for my younger daughter, but I wouldn't be opposed to using a small reward for pooping on the potty, to see if that encourages her. I agree with the stepstool idea, too. Do you use a toilet lid cover - the kind that fits on the lid and makes the hole smaller so they won't feel like they might fall in? We used one of those for awhile, until she got comfortable with holding herself up.

You could teach her the sign for potty or a potty song if she responds to music.The hiding thing is just her age and there isn't anything you can really do about it. She is a bit young to be expected to be consistent. The average kid doesn't consistently go on their own with no prompting until more like 2 1/2. Don't be surprised if she has times of regression, especially if there is any stress or changes happening around her. Very normal for that age.