Could She Just Be Done with Breastfeeding Already??

I know how you feel. Both of my kids self weaned at 9-10 months old. I don't know if something changes with my milk at that point or if that's when they really started eating more table food and my supply just dropped and they got impatient, but it happened with both of them. BIG BUMMER! I tried everything under the sun, but they were just done. I wish I had some sage advice for you. You could keep pumping and giving her breastmilk in her bottle. My son, especially, started walking at 9 months old, so he was off to the races and wanted NOTHING to do with the breast at that point. He didn't even take a bottle, just a sippy cup. Just try to keep in mind that they are happy and healthy and while you miss it, understandably, they won't be any worse for the wear, so to speak. Best wishes!

She may be done - this was the time my daughter was done. I always think it's easier when they make that decision... atlhough it's tough on us. Maybe find other ways to bond and be close. My daughter was always very very very independent and not cuddly other than feeding... until she was 3... now she just wants to cuddle and sleep next to me at night. They are all different. Good luck.

Keep offering to nurse her. She's really learning about her world right now and might "forget" to nurse. If she's hungry she'll nurse. Don't offer her a bottle. Learning to walk doesn't have anything to do with weaning. My son started walking at 10 months and nursed until 22 months! She'll get interested again, she's just exploring everything around her right now.

Its a nursing strike, which sadly many take for 'self weaning'. Just keep at it, shje will come back to nursing. At 9mos your supply is good and stable so don't worry about missing a few nursing sessions. If she nurses in the morning and at night, thats fine too at 9mos. Just keep offering and relax, she will come back!

Even at 9 months a baby needs the nutrition from breastfeeding more than the small bits of food she's eating during the day. Is she eating too much during the day and not saving room for milk?

Your baby won't "lose interest" in her main source of food for long. If you are serious about EBF, don't give her a bottle. It will pass, and she'll come back.

No time to read other responses so sorry if a repeat. Most kids start getting more teeth around 9 to 10 months old. It makes it painful to nurse. Many people mistake this for self weaning, it isn't. Just let her nurse if she wants to, but don't pressure her. You can try to pump, if you want to give her your milk but if you have not been pumping regularly your breasts may not respond well, since they are only used to baby sucking. My daughter did this around 9 months old, went a few days without nursing at all, and a few more only in the middle of the night and then one day she was back to it. Took maybe two weeks. I did pump some while she was not nursing. But I never got much since i had not been pumping. Finally she started back one day and nursed til she was 4. My son never went through this and self weaned at 2 years old. All kids are different but they will not truly self wean this young. Self weaning happens when kids no longer need it, both nutritionally and emotionally, this happens normally about 2 years of age. But anywhere from 18 months to 4 years is normal. Just let her nurse as she wants don't give bottles if she is nursing at least twice a day, if not nursing at all one or two bottles, or better yet sippy cups would be fine. When my daughter was not nursing at all, I gave her sippy cups with my milk in it and sippy's of water and juice to supplement. She was allergic to milk. But even nursing once a day, she really doesn't need bottles, I would just give her drinks in a sippy cup the rest of the day. A sippy of milk before bed if she really wants milk, or better yet if you can get any pumped with your milk in it is better for her. Sometimes nursing during night wakings is the best time since she will be sleepy and want the comfort and the pain will not bother her as much. Good luck and she will start nursing again if you just let her do it at her own pace.

Sounds like a nursing strike. Generally speaking, babies don't self-wean before 1 year, it's very rare. Most of the time it's a nursing strike, as they are easily distracted, that is mistaken for self-weaning. I would just keep offering, and I'm sure she'll get past it soon.

If you're on facebook, go check out the Leaky B@@b! They also have private forums (on their own site), but I usually just check out their fb page. The wonderful mama's there can help you better than I, since I've never dealt with a full-on strike. But this is my go-to page for any and all BFing advice and support!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/TheLeakyBoob

Forgot to add....I would not offer her a bottle, either. I would just nurse as much as possible, for however long she will nurse.

She could be ready. I too, was ready to nurse my third child until much later but at around ten months, she refused to nurse. She would nip me pretty hard or she would not latch on properly (and this was after ten months of no problems) or she would suck for a quick minute and then stop. We were also having problems with her gaining weight and excema. As soon as I let the nursing go, she was a much happier baby.

Let the baby lead. You all will be much happier.

My daughter did the same thing at that age. Her older brother was much more nursing compliant! My daughter just seemed like she had better stuff to do! She tore me up the last month by ripping her head away (distracted) to see what else was going on! Granted, I couldn't always nurse her in a really quiet and relaxed atmosphere because I also had a 2yr old running around. Was it a phase? maybe? Did I feel like waiting it out? NO! I was heartbroken and torn, but yes, I did give her formula from 10-12 months old. She hardly ever even drank her formula though because she was eating so much food and also drinking water from a sippy cup. Like I said, she had better things to do with her time than sit with me! She also went down to only one nap about the same time - maybe it was some maturity spurt? My daughter has always been more independent from me (and everyone else) than her older brother.......

My second also stopped breast feeding early, done by 10 months...I think it also has something to do with having an older sibling to copy...
Whatever people tell you, it is up to you AND your child. You can't make a child nurse, and I think not giving them a bottle or sippy is not that nice if they'd rather. You can pump if you are concerned about the nutrition of it. I loved breast feeding, but I also loved being done, and that's OK! I know breast milk is best, but so is having a happy mom, and I was not that happy trying to get my second to keep breastfeeding, and neither was he.

Been there, done that! It can be so frustrating & hard to not feel like you're being rejected by your baby.
It's very common for babies to get close to their 1 yr birthday & lose interest in nursing. But with many of those babies, just around their birthday, or a little after, they suddenly have a resurgence in their interest in nursing & want to do it all the time.
I'd be willing to bet money that if you keep trying (but not pressuring!) like you are, that she'll come back to it within a couple of weeks or so.
I dealt with several nursing strikes w/ my first (daughter) & the longest was about 2 1/2 wks (at about 9 mos old too, now that I think about it!). I was so scared that she was weaning already, but she did come back to it & nursed till she self-weaned at 23 mos.

If you haven't already, you could go to a LLL meeting for support and/or look up some ideas for "nursing strikes" on www.KellyMom.com

Hang in there! She'll come back to it!

Hi, MoM:

Keep pumping your breasts to keep the milk available.

In the mean time, continue to provide your quiet time with her even
if she doesn't nurse. Maybe this is a phase and it will pass.
If your time schedule for awhile and see if she gets back interested,
If not, well, still keep the quiet private time to be together.

Good luck.
D.

I would keep offering. My son barely nursed around 8-10 months old. He was too busy exploring his new world, because he started walking around 8.5 months. He would nurse before bed, and most mornings, but not all. Other then that it was all hit and miss. Around 10-11months he had a growth spurt, and started nursing like a newborn again, LOL! He is now 26 months, and still nursing 2-3x a day. Likely it is just a nursing strike. Generally brought on by teething, ear infection, or something of the like.

Okay, this is a long shot, but it hasn't been brought up yet, and I had my babygirl (8 years old tomorrow) do the same at 8 months.
My period had been a few days late, but the pregnancy test I did the day before came out negative, so I attributed it to her 'weaning herself'. I remember clearly that morning, she latched on, popped right back off, and glared up at me. I had already dismissed pregnancy as a possibility, even though I had heard the taste of the milk changes when a nursing mom gets pregnant, the negative test had nixed that. I pumped the morning milk (always lots, had to relieve the pressure), gave her a bottle of frozen/thawed milk, which she liked just fine, and went to work.
Two days later, still no period, did another test, whammo, pregnant.
So, just putting the possibility out there. Again, a long shot, but my second pregnancy was from a very late ovulation, and totally unexpected, as was the premature self-weaning. The first pregnancy was so planned, as an experiment (forgive me, I'm a scientist) I only had 'procreational' sex once, on the day I felt (mittleshmertz) I'd ovulated, and hit triple 7s on that one try. Hubby was a little put out when I told him I was pregnant 17 days later, and asked "well, can we keep trying, anyway?"

I don't think it at all ridiculous to be sad if this time is really ending.

For us, bedtime was the time I could count on our toddler wanting the comfort of nursing. Your daughter is discovering so many new things now. The private room and waiting till she's more hungry sounded like really good ideas. Be sure to make use of the morning nursing if that is all she will ask for so your milk supple doesn't suddenly give out.
Could you have been eating something different recently that might have changed the flavor of the milk? They say kids don't like the flavor of beer, and some have trouble with the type of vegetable that gives one gas, maybe cut down on garlic and see if there's a change.

Good luck, and enjoy the nursings that remain.

D.

I agree with Joanna J. If your Dr. has ruled out an ear infection, it could be teething. I'd pump a bit during the day to keep supply up, and do the standard 'nursing strike' measures for at least a week before giving up (check out kellymom.com for lots in info on nursing strikes and how to get through them).

My son also was done early. He didn't even want a bottle any more at about 10 months. He held on to the before bed one for a long while, but during the day, he wanted to sit at the table and eat and drink like the "big kids."

I totally get that it's sad. I have a much harder time letting go of the "baby" in my second. But if she's ready, offer her a cup (of pumped breast milk, if you wish) and let her do her thing.

Updated

My son also was done early. He didn't even want a bottle any more at about 10 months. He held on to the before bed one for a long while, but during the day, he wanted to sit at the table and eat and drink like the "big kids."

I totally get that it's sad. I have a much harder time letting go of the "baby" in my second. But if she's ready, offer her a cup (of pumped breast milk, if you wish) and let her do her thing.

My daughter made it to 11 months and then just was done. I was sad about it, also. If you've tried everything, she just might be done with it.

Try tylenol.

If her mouth hurts she can eat from a bottle super easily, but it's more pressure intense to nurse. Babies are kings and queens of "If it hurts, don't do it."

Molars tend to start moving around right around 9mo and then take about 2 months to cut (typically)... I've found a lot of "nursing strikes" to actually have a medical root. AKA teething, ear infection, or sinus infection. Meaning that the physical act exacerbates something else that is going on. A bottle, meanwhile can be positioned in ways that breasts can't, as so "fixes" the pain problem. Not dummies, the baby prefers the 'no pain' option when available.

There are other ways to bond with her. She may be done. My son self weened at 3 months!