Condolecences

"I am here for you." says it all.

If you know food he likes, perhaps you can make some meals for him so he doesn't have to cook.

Is he religious? Find a nice one and add your note. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If there is anything you need I/We are here for you. Did you know his sister well? a nice thought about her to include would be nice. Send a flora arrangement/plant. A meal for his family. Any act of kindness I am sure will be appreciated.

J., I sang this song to my daddy over the phone the day before I flew back to the States from overseas. I was trying to get back to him because we knew he was dying. I missed him by 5 hours.

A Thousand Winds

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight that ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumns’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

Many people who are grieving feel better in knowing that their loved one has had a positive influence that will live on far beyond them. If you knew or met your friend's sister, write about how something about her influenced you or others in a positive way, for example in optimistic spirit, her courage, etc. If you can't think of anything, write a positive memory you have of her, especially if it could make him laugh. If you have never met her, try to think of a way she has positively influenced him.

If you knew your friend's sister, the family would probably really appreciate a memory you have of her.

As a person who lost a loved one to cancer, write what is in your heart. It does not have to be poetic or sentimental, just write what you feel. That will mean more than anything else. And please don't tell him that "things will get better", because as a person dealing with grief it's insulting. How could life be "better" with out his sister. Just offer to be there even if that means only to hold his hand while he cries.

My cousin Stephen just passed from brain cancer and I'm sending all his children St. Stephen medals ... if he's catholic, and you know his sister's name maybe you could find a little medal or a key chain w/ her saint's name on it.

I often write something along the lines of, "May your favorite memories bring you peace."

I think just letting him know you're thinking about him is a suitable kind gesture. But I also liked the ideas of sending along a booklet of stamps or a restaurant gift card.

So sorry for your loss, may God help guide you and watch over you during this painful and difficult time. God Bless!

I either include a book of stamps because they will be writing out a lot of thank you cards (i am sure) or else i include a gift card to Applebees or somewhere nice to eat. Honestly, any gesture is nice. Cooked meals are good too! Especially ones that freeze easily as i am sure family will be at their house for the next several weeks or so.

I lost my son 16 months ago and the cards with memories of him are so touching. Since you don't know his sister or family a simple "I am sorry for your loss, you are in my prayers" is enough. What happens after the funeral is more important and with that invite him to coffee and don't ask "How are you doing" but "I am here to listen if you want to talk" Get him telling some favorite memories he has of his sister. The problem we find is people don't want to see us cry or upset us so they don't bring up our loved ones. We on the other hand don't bring them up because we don't want to make you uncomfortable so if you ask, it helps with the need of talking about our missing loved one and that is worth more then all the other things a person can do to help a grieving person. Never ever tell them it will get easier with time, or it has been long enough they need to move on. I always want to ask them how long they would grieve for me if I was the one gone or their child or sister... Being there for your friend is important because people who lose a loved one is avoided for a while, it is probably worse with losing a child then a sibling in this because I think some think it is an eye opener and they have to face the fear of what it would be like losing their own child. Hope this helps.

Anything but, "my thoughts & prayers are with you". When my brother died we were overloaded with nice cards, and after a while we could predict what half of them would say before opening them.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you have many happy memories of your sister.

Anything that you feel is appropriate. It's a hard time. most people know it.