Communication Confusion - Interpret?

Sounds like a lot of drama to me. Written communication, such as email, is always hard to decipher. Tone or intent is very hard to pick up sometimes. Either ask her about it, or don't. Either be her friend, or don't. Don't carry this with you; there is no need.

This reminds me of the saying - Some friends are there for a reason. Some for a season. Some for a lifetime.

Maybe YOU were there for HER for a REASON. Maybe that reason is over, and so is the friendship. It doesn't mean it is any less valuable or that it wasn't a "real" friendship. You were probably a very good friend to her. That's an acceptable experience. Don't discount it.

That's an odd situation. Why did you include her in your friend email in the first place, if she basically used you previously? Maybe she's giving you a warning (I'm not a true friend). I probably wouldn't have emailed her the follow-up, either. If the conversation was left hanging, I would have let it be or only followed up to finish if she inquired herself. In any regard, just move forward and onward. She sounds like a user. Good luck, you don't need people like that in your life.

From my perspective, Marda is right. You yourself mention having had some unpleasant feelings toward her-- let her go. Believe me, life is too short, and she won't die if she's not included in your email list. (If she does...well, that will be a first!:) )

I've been where you are and I've spent way too much time in my own life wondering 'what did they mean' and wracking my brain over stuff like this. Life got much better when I moved on and kept in mind that friendship is a lot more about 'friendly actions' than words. Let that be your guide.

She told you you weren'tfriends. So why are you pushing yourself on her? Why are you treating her like a friend? I would never share confidential information with someone who is not a close friend. YOu won't share it with your friends. Why did you feel the need to share it with her who has told you she's not a friend? We all ask questions. That doesn't mean they should be answered in detail or even truthfully.

I urge you to take here e-mail address out of your computer and maintain the distance appropriate for a non-friend/acquaintance.

I suggest her lecture was intended to "teach" you about boundaries. She's telling you that this is the sort of information you should share with friends and not with her.

I didn't "hear" what you heard. I heard her try to be an advisor and tell you that you can trust the people in your life, so you should share. Not "Don't share this with me" but "You should be more of an open book with the people you care about." To take it further, maybe she thinks that you expect people to bare their souls to you but you aren't willing to do the same. She could have gotten that from this: "I asked her to keep the addtional information I shared private, but if she knew of anyone that I could help, please send them to me so I could talk to them/help them." That could have translated in her mind to, "I don't want to share my vulnerability with others, but I will assist them with theirs."

What I interpret was that she wanted to make it clear to you that she would like to keep the distance that she created from you and yours but she did not mind hearing your business. I could be way off though!

You are teaching her how to treat you by including her on the email when you have done so much for her and she just let the friendship go so easily.

My take is that when you got interrupted, she considered the conversation over because it obviously wasn't that important to her.

Then, when you followed with additional information in your e-mail, she took it as you starting another conversation, not finishing one you didn't feel was complete.

I don't think she was really that interested and only asked to be polite or perhaps nosey.

I would not contact her again, and I would take her off your email list. It will help you not try so hard with her. I think that she was just being "polite" when she asked an additional question, and you fell for it and thought it meant more than it did,so you emailed her additional info.

You learned that she is a poser and and user. You don't need that in your life, right?

Dawn

I had a "friendship" like this some 25 years ago. Your "friend" is no friend at all. She's an opportunist. You don't need this superficial person in your life. She will only drag your self-esteem down. You seem to be a very nice person! Stick with people who will be by your side in good times and in bad.

She's doing exactly what we do here. She's sharing her experience, and offering you advice on how best to accomplish your goals.

I'm doing exactly that now, and we're not "friends", but we're not "strangers" either. I think she's offering an olive branch - up to you how or if you respond. (which is me giving advice :) )

I am confused by your story. You said you shared good news, what was the good news. I mean if it is great news I just started an at home business the end of her email is bug your friends for sales not me.

See that is what I find confusing. You say you sent out an uplifting happy good news email. Yet your description of talking to her makes one think of private family problems. Then she is speaking of supporting you like something bad happened. The only conclusion I can find is you are starting some work from home venture like sales and she is reacting to a hard sale.

Why on earth did you feel it necessary to include her in the email? You, yourself, said she was a user. What would you possibly gain by emailing her? I don't get it, honestly Did some part of you want her to react or show that she cared? In any event, it is clear that she has affected you, and now you are over analyzing an email from someone you don't even consider a friend.

My advice is to stop emailing her, drop it, and move on. It's not worth it.

I have been there with a friend like that. She only calls or text when she wants something. We used to be really close then she needed me to watch her three boys over night two night a week for an entire school year. After that she only contacted me when she needed something. And she was my best friend and it does hurt. Now I try not to have a lot of contact with her but every once in a while she will text me to tell me her mom is not doing good to pray. But when I ask how things are going no response.

Next time you have something to share leave her out of it. And honestly I would do my best to not even have my kids play with hers.

Good luck and God Bless!!!