Coming of Age Party

I think thats a good idea. I don't have a daughter but when I was going through puberty my mom was pretty real about it. She let me know that it was a part of women's hygiene to have those items at hand. She taught me how to use it and she made me feel very comfortable. That is the key. Make the conversation a comfortable one and she'll be just fine.

I think it's a great idea. My daughter will be 11 in July. Last year I bought her a book, from Bath & Body Works, called Your Body. It explains everything from periods, to breast growth, hair etc. It tells you what to expect & how to take care of your body. Maybe you could include that in the box.

Hi K.!

I think your idea is great!! When I was younger, I had no clue what to expect or what was going on with my body, and I too was a very shy child. My mother never took the time to mention anything to me, or to help me understand what was going on with my body. It was a very uncomfortable time. Of course we learn a little in school, but It's not the same as discussing it with your Mom.

I agree with the other Moms to do it in private though, just the two of you and make it a special day for the two of you. Depending on her personality, It may emabaress her if their are others around. I think your idea is wonderful though!

Take Care

I remember when I got my first period. My mom and I went to the store to buy pads and I pretended not to know her, God forbid someone actually saw me with pads!!! I told her to go to a cashier we didn't know and I'd meet her at the car. Your daughter may not be so shy about it, but if she is even remotely uncomfortable about the subject, a party may do more harm than good. I'm far from shy about anything nowadays, but the beginning of puberty for a young lady can seem embarrassing. She may benefit just as well with a one-on-one sit down with you or maybe even a visit to the hair and nail salon and lunch. Only you know your daughter and how she may respond to something like this.

I remember on the Cosby show they had a "Women's day". Take her out for lunch and some shopping. Maybe get manicure's and pedicures.

I guess it really depends on your daughter's personality. She could be humilated or she could be all for it loving the spot-light. Tell her that you recognize this special time and ask her what she'd like to do. For instance, some like me at that age would have appreciated being left alone at a drugstore, or Target or something to shop, read labels, at my own pace and just on my own. Then maybe a dinner out with just you and her to discuss what she learned and what questions she has.

When I was that age, I was just so excited about wearing a little lip gloss or nail polish, that was a fun gift for me!

When my girls (now 17 & almost 15) were "coming of age" I put together a gift bag with all the necessities and some special items (darker color nail polish, lip gloss, a small bag to carry personal items in.) I presented each of them with a copy of a book all about growing up and we reviewed it together. I made them understand that they could come to me with any questions they had about puberty, sex, drugs, etc. When the big day arrived we had a special mom & me day at the local day spa. Also when it finally happened neither girl was scared or upset because they understood what was happening.
Best of luck to you - it can be often be more traumatic for mom than daughter but you'll get through it.

maybe you should get some of her other friends or cousins thats the same age and do it as a group, so she wont feel so alone, the party should be for girls becoming of age, who didn't experience going through their period.Give it almost like a babyshower but remenber you should be celebrating four or five other girls because its a group of girls. Then by the end of the day give her something personally! No men! Even her father. What do you thing? I hope it all goes well whatever choice you decide.

Honestly, I cry when I even think of this time my daughter will soon face. She will be 10 this May. We recently had a scare. She was complaining of constant cramp like pains. Turns out it wasn't anything. She bounced back.
I think that's a very good idea, the box. Maybe not the Midol unless you feel she's old enough to self administor. Being prepared and speaking to our daughters so that they have a clue is much better than it happening and them not even understanding what's going on.

K.,

I would be really careful with this. Girls at your daughter's age are VERY sensitive, and you run the risk of her feeling uncomfortable or embarassed, depending upon who is invited to her "celebration". If you decide to go ahead with it, I'd try to find a way to work around to getting her feelings on that kind of thing beforehand.

One idea I put forth to another Mom was a bit more of a private celebration. You may want to take her on a special shopping expedition for all of these items, get her fitted for a bra if she's ready and not yet wearing one, some "grown up" panties, etc. Then spend the afternoon at a salon getting her hair and nails done, maybe take her to lunch someplace sophisticated and special.

I totally understand how you'd want to mark your daughter's entry to womanhood, and make the experience special and memorable for her. It's so important that she view the changes in her body in a positive light. I just wonder how she'd react to being at a table with her girlfriends, or her grandmother (even worse, depending on Grandma!) and opening a box full of maxi-pads, Midol, and acne medicine. I remember adolescence, and I would have wished for immediate death, just to escape the moment. I was very shy at that age. Of course, your daughter may be thrilled, or find the whole experience hysterically funny. It all depends on her personality.

Jess

I think it's a nice idea. The western world doesn't place much consideration on rites of passage, but it is important to celebrate these things and remove the taboo from them. Isn't it confusing enough to go throught these changes without adding more mystery? : )

I would certainly be mindful of her level of shyness and plan accordingly. If there's anything worse than going through it alone it's having the whole world know! :) hahaha...

In my family there is a core of women that I would trust with anything and everything... my cousins I have grown up with, my sister-in-law, a few aunts and my mom. They are my circle. If your daughter has a circle of friends that are inseparable (they will be going through this too) it may be nice to involve them. I think ultimately, however, you should involve her in the process, don't make it a surprise.

My daughter is only 2, but I will honor her growth throughout life in stages and not merely years. Great idea, K.! Good luck with it! : )

K., i will never go through this situation, being that i have three boys, but i can tell you what my mom did for me. I started puberty around that age and my mom celebrated me. She sat me down and explained, the best she could, what was happening to me. Then she took me to lunch and shopping. We picked up all the essentials and had a good time together. That is a bonding experience you two can remember. Good luck and god bless!

K.,

I too agree with Jess. I think it really does depend on her personality. Thank you for this question because I think I'm actually going to do the same when my daughter reaches this point :-( It's a really great idea to have a mommy daughter day & spend it however you'd like, present the box of items to her & let her a let her know she can come to you with ANY questions & it happens to all of us. I know when I got my period it was right before my thirteenth birthday & my parents friends were over it was terrible! I was completly embarassed everyone knew! My mom was all excited I was now a women ohhhhhh it was awful!

K.

Hi K.,

I agree with what Jessica said. Girls at this age are very private and might not be excited about celebrating this new part of her life. I would give her the gifts privately, and enjoy a day together.

It is a very wonderful idea it lets the child know how precious they are and could be used as a tool to celebrate the aspect of how important it is to keep from having sex till they are married. Done the right way a child can learn from the experience.

Excited to see this post here.

Curious, since you posted your question more than two years ago, have you already had your party? Would love to hear an update from you...

My daughter is nine, and I am planning to do something similar. I am going to make her a bracelet and bought some special stones/beads, will probably make her some cloth pads, and then will include some books, which I have already bought. I started when I was 10.5, so I anticipate that she may also start early, though I hope not. She seems very receptive to having a few of her close friends (we already talked about it with two of them last summer).

Great idea, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and so many girls don't have supportive moms, or their moms teach them it's a BAD, dirty, or shameful time of the month. The gift sounds nice, just don't let her open it in front of anyone, lest she become embarassed. Welcome to Womanhood! is the theme there! I did the same thing for my Crissy, I only let a few of my close friends "in" on the event, so she wouldn't be embarassed, but we all made a big deal that she was "one of us" now, not a little kid anymore, she was thrilled that we made it into a NICE thing for her :)

Hello there is a great book from christine northrup womens wisdom i have it on tape that states that when your daughter hit puberty you should buy her a small piece of jewlery to celebrate the occation and take them out to lunch make it really special I did this with my step- daughter and she loved it her mom is very confined and she didn't want to talk about it when she moved in with us and noticed that I don't use pads I use flannel cloth pads and soak them in water and feed it to my plants it is full of nutriants she wasn't into the pads but it has opened her up to talking about things like her body and whats going on I had taken her out of school and had a beautifull lunch at her favorite place and because I'm so open about health and women I had her read the other book mother-daughter wisdom creating a legacy of physical and emotional health from dr. christine northup she writes some awsome stuff well I hope it helps I have found a lot of people think I'm crazy on this theory but i secure with it if you ever want to talk ____@____.com
god bless,
A.