Hey Mama's...
You all have always been very helpful...maybe you can help me again. My stepdaughter recently moved in with us. When my husband and her mother got divorced back in 1997, in there divorce decree it stated that they had joint custody and the amount of child support that he was required to pay. When his daughter was 3 yrs old we moved to another city in Colorado which was 4 hours away from where his daughter was. Well in the past 12 years he has never missed a child support payment, and he obeyed his orders on visitation. Now that we have been back in town the last 5 years my husband and his ex have basically let her decide when she (my step-daughter) was goin to come to our house, which was weekly. Well as of the beginning of August her mother is going through divorce #2. She wanted to live with us and my husband said she needed stability in this time of transition. Well it has worked out...well. So for the last 3 months he still has paid his child support to her mother and she has primarily lived with us. So we went through S.S. to get our money back since she is with us. Well now mom is putting pressure on my step-daughter that she needs to be back with her because she is going to lose our money. Is there a legal age in Colorado that a child can decide where she wants to live? Mom is thinking of relocating in August..and my stepdaughter does not want to go. My husband doesnt want to take her from her mother...but yet he thinks that we are the better enviroment for our daughter right now. Its not fair that she gets the money and isnt even there 90% of the time. Any suggestions will help...we cant really afford a lawyer...any advice on who to talk to and how to get our money back will help. Thanks Mamas!!
the age is about 12, BUT! You have to see the judge to change it all anyway and it is up to him if he wants to let a younger child make that choice. I have seen kids 8 years old pick a parent here in Idaho. I would go back to court and tell the judge the child wants to give him her opinion on it. It can be a private affair. I would also point out that the ex is trying to talk the child into moving back in so she doesn't lose the money.
I think the best advice would be to talk to a lawyer who deals with custody cased. You might be able to get one consultation free or low cost. But I know that, it general, you shouldn't have to pay child support if the child is living with you - the whole point of child support is to help contribute to the costs of rasining a child. To get custody, you will probably need to go before a judge. At this age, I'm sure your step-daughters desires will at least count for something. But it's also helpful if you have some documentation as well, that show your home would be the better environment (specifc incidents or environmental factors you have seen that support this).
I don't know what Colorado's legal age for a child deciding what parent they want to live with. I would assume since a lot of states start letting a child decide around age 10-13 that if she is in that age range she would have the right to make a case as to which parent she wanted to live with.
I would talk with legal aid in your county for advice. If nothing else they might represent your daughter as an individual helping her write a letter to the judge stating she wants to live with her dad as she has been because of these reasons. She can even put she doesn't want to move because all her friends are here if that is the case or what ever the reasons are that she would rather live with her dad and you instead of her mom.
T.
Well T., the short answer to your question is no, Colorado does not have an age where the child gets to decide who they live with. At 13, the court will "consider" the childs wishes. Find a good mediator and work this out with her Mom ASAP, so your daughter doesn't have to be in the middle. That is most likely what a judge would order you to do anyway. Good Luck!!
Legal Aid would help, but I don't know if they have a branch in Colorado. I would ask the state if they have any resources.
Most states will take into account the environment, the maturity and stability of the 12 year old and what her reasoning is. *I wouldn't try to influence this* They don't necessarily go by a set age...
It does sound like your home is more stable.
T., I think you've gotten good advice. In CO, a judge will listen to the wishes of a teenager in most cases. You should seek legal advice immediately - child support goes to the parent caring for the child and if the child is with you, that automatically gets recalculated. You can find the child support calculator online.
take care, S.
Hi T. - it looks like your daughter is just 13 so if the ex is unwilling to work with you, the courts would be the best option to restructure the child support and residency. It all depends on what the child support/custody order says regarding restructuring the agreement. There might be some free legal resources available through DSS or you might be able to get help from one of those prepaid legal services.
Good luck to you!
