Cold Sore! - Bonsall,CA

I have had cold sores on and off since I was little and after visiting several doctors and dermatologists I have been told by more than one that the cold sore is no longer in an infective stage once it scabs over. It is the clear discharge from the pustule that forms that carries the infective material.

I've had cold sores all my life. Literally since I was a little kid. As I got older, I also got shingles. There is something about my own immune system that caused me to be susceptible.
My mom, dad, sister, my husband and neither of my children have ever had so much as a lip bump.
Please do not worry so much about this.
Also, I would like to say that ALL cold sores are not caused by the herpes virus. They can be caused by fever or extremely chapped lips.
Regardless, if there are no open or active blisters, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

If your MIL truly does have issues with Herpes related cold sores, she can ask the doctor for acycolivir. It's an antiviral that can be taken at the first sign of an outbreak to lessen the severity and shorten the duration.
They also make a medicine called Herpecin-L that comes in a tube like lip stick. It's really soothing and helps clear them up.

That's just my personal opinion.
Best wishes.

I read somewhere that over 80% of all adult Americans get cold sores from time to time. I had never had one until a few years ago, and they are no fun. But my dentist prescribed an anti-viral medication that I take as soon as I think I might be getting a cold sore, and it never even breaks out. Granted, it would be better not to have to worry about it, but it's not the end of the entire world to have cold sores.

Now, I DO think it was hugely irresponsible of your MIL to kiss your baby while she had a cold sore, but I suppose the baby could have picked up Grandma's coffee cup, or chewed on the TV remote that Grandma's hand had just been on, or any number of other ways. Shoot, the next time your kid gnaws on the shopping cart at Target, she could be getting someone else's cold sore! (Eeeeew) When she goes to preschool and grade school, really watch out. Schools are a regular petri dish of nasty germs. I'm just saying, germs are out there. All you can really do is support your child's immune system with a healthy diet and plenty of rest, and hope your little girl can fight it off before it becomes an issue. And if not, then you'll have to go get medication to keep the virus at bay whenever it surfaces. Don't make yourself crazy over this.

I get cold sores and no one in my family has gotten them. I wore a face mask when the kids were little if I had one since you never know when an infant might inadvertently touch your face. As they got older I could tell them "mama has a booboo and do not touch please". The statistics are that a very large percentage (something like 80%) of all Americans have the virus even though not all have symptoms.
I am from the Netherlands where "cold sore cream" is sold over the counter. Here is it called Zovirax and costs about $40 for a tiny little tube. I put the cream on at first tingle and often the sore does not even develop. I would ask your doctor if there is anything that can be done preventatively if you think she has been exposed.

Honestly...you should be worried. Your MIL you should be ashamed of herself!!! You can get herpes simplex (cold sores) whether or not there are any signs of a cold sore. It is a virus that you can treat/manage, but NEVER get rid of.

The virus will always be present in the body, even if a person does not have reoccurring outbreaks. It is false to say that because a cold sore is not present that a person is unable to pass this virus along to others, but the virus is more likely to be spread when sores are present.

Once you have them you will always be at the mercy or certain triggers: stress, lack of sleep, sun, nuts, certain fruits, etc. Honestly...your MIL needs to be a bit more educated because they are a horrible thing to pass along to someone you love!

Even though many people have the virus that causes cold sores, there are ways to minimize catching the virus or spreading it to others. Avoid kissing while there is an active sore. Don't share objects, such as lip balm/drinks, that touch your lips. Wash your hands often, and wear sunblock, since sun can be a trigger for an outbreak.

Her best bet is to stick to hugs. I think you should tell her so...it isn't worth being wrong about. I have had the stupid things since a boyfriend gave them to me when I was 19. They are MISERABLE, and every time I stress about work or down a bag of almond M&Ms they are there to remind me.

Well, we can't turn back the clock. And probably nothing will come of it so try to stay calm. But you have every right to be upset and you need to have a serious conversation with your MIL about this. She should not be kissing anyone during an outbreak. She should be washing her hands frequently, not sharing utensils or glasses and not letting your toddler touch. I caught facial herpes from my husband in the early stages of our relationship. Now, keep in mind, there was a whole lot of kissing and face rubbing going on at this point in time so much more likely a contagious situation. My husband has always had a problem with cold sores, even when he was a child and his mom did, too. I don't get it as a cold sore - I get it on my chin. I am so sorry that I was not more knowledgeable about what cold sores were - a herpes virus. The first year I had frequent outbreaks and I was devastated but it did get less and less frequent - like once every couple years when I forget sun screen or something. I take a prescription drug, Valtrex, when I feel it coming on and that prevents it. You need to educate your MIL so that she does not foolishly put other people - and children - at risk. I am sorry this happened and is making you so nervous - it will probably be fine. But you definitely need to address this with her.

I can't reassure you about this because something just like it happened to my stepdaughter about three years ago. My MIL had a cold sore that was healing and she kissed my stepdaughter on the cheek when she was three. For the last three years a herpie has been popping up under my stepdaughters eye. The first time was right after my MIL kissed her. The doctor said that she passed it to my stepdaughter. The last time it showed up was at this past Christmas and it spread from her eye to under her nose and chin. She has to be really careful around the other kids because it's contagious. It's hard on a six year old. So I think you should be very stern with your MIL about the situation.

You are right to be concerned, though it may be more contagious in the early stages than later. I get them (picked them up in college before I knew how easily they spread). I try to be extra careful not to pass them to the kids but it can be hard with babies or little kids. I carry a little bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket and wash my hands often. Ask MIL nicely to be careful about kissing, touching her mouth or sharing dishes.

Also, you may want to pass on that lysine supplements really help shorten the outbreaks. I take 2-3 tablets 2x a day (3x the first day). It is just an amino acid but it helps a LOT. Sometimes if you take it in time it will prevent an outbreak completely. It's well worth the trouble for something inexpensive and over the counter.

Hi Jamie,

A cold sore is the eruption of a dormant herpes virus usually in your system from an outbreak of chicken pox or even if your Mom had ever had chicken pox (you can contract it in utero). Anyone is susceptible to them. You CANNOT get a cold sore if your immune system is working at it's optimum level. If it's not there, there are a few things you can do to boost your immune system and get rid of one quick.

L-Lysine is an essential amino acid that is depleted when your immune system is low. Replenishing it can prevent or get rid of a cold sore. Melaleuca oil (high grade tea tree oil) will speed the healing by getting to the root and drying it out. ICE can prevent one if you get to it before it presents itself. Ice on the spot that is tingling will slow the metabolic process long enough to dose yourself with L-Lysine.

A good absorbable multivitamin/mineral complex for your daughter is the best thing to prevent them long term. You avoiding stress (stress depletes L-Lysine in your body) always helps....helps a lot of stuff, right??? Don't worry about your MIL. You can always ask her to do what you want but most people do what they want to anyway.

Fever blisters normally arent contagious unless they are still showing puss. I think everything will be fine...

God bless,

M.

Sorry this has so upset you. My husband and one of my daughters get cold sores. Several of my brothers and sisters do as well. Neither I nor any of my other children do. I think it's one of those things that some people get and others don't. And, honestly, I've never avoided kissing either of them, with a cold sore or without. And though they're uncomfortable, especially for a little one, please keep some perspective or you'll upset your daughter -- and your mother in law (though that may not be as big a deal). Fortunately, as far as I know cold sores may come when another illness is present (the stress reaction another poster mentioned?) and can be painful -- but they're temporary.

In addition to the L-lysine and Zovirax that others mentioned, you can get Abreva over the counter. Helps my daughter and my husband a great deal.

Good luck -- and I hope your little one doesn't get the virus.

Cold sores ARE a big deal...I know because I get them and they suck! I have been exactly where you are now...worrying and stressing over whether or not my kids will get them! I am sorry I do not have better news for you, other than you are right for worrying.

I kinda think they are less contagious after the scabbed over stage but I just do not know for sure, sorry!

~My kids are 19, 16, 7, 5 & 3 and I have been lucky not to pass on this nasty virus to any of them or my hubby...but it takes a lot of effort and bring very aware and cautious when I get them.

Cold sores suck! You are right to be concerned and be mindful of your MIL and remind her *nicely* to not touch or kiss the kiddo when she is having a breakout, regardless of what stage it's in!

It is less contagious once its passed the scabbing stage, but yes they are highly contagious. People dont think so but it is.