Co-sleeping

My daughter is now 15 months and co-sleeps with me since birth, I wouldnt have it any other way, this morning I woke up to see her smiling at me and I almost cried, it was the most beautiful thing in the world, to wake up each morning and see her smiling at me.. she now naps in her own room but at night I have to have my baby beside me, it will change pretty soon since I am expecting in another month, but there is nothing that can compare to waking up to see someone smiling at you like you are the only thing that matters in this world..

Both of my kiddos (I have an 8 y.o. boy and 6 y.o. girl) slept with me. In fact, by the time the second one came around I didn't even bother with a crib because I knew she'd never use it! Personally, I think the only reason to put an infant in a crib/co-sleeper is if you personally (or the hubby) has an issue with the child sleeping in bed with you. If you look world-wide, it's the US that's the odd man out-- most countries are into co-sleeping. In reality, I knew that I got more sleep with my babe right up against me (it's sooo much easier to whip out a breast and fall right back asleep than to try to stay awake and move them back after they're done nursing) plus that baby isn't going to be little for long-- take as many snuggles as you can for as long as you can!

Co-Sleeping is wonderful for mother and baby. That little baby was as close to you as a person can get while he was waiting to be born, there is no need to keep your son far from your body after birth. I co-slept with my daughter until she was done breastfeeding at a year old. It helped both of us sleep for longer hours each night. Keeping the baby close to you while sleeping is in no way harmful to him. There is a misconception about "spoiling" a baby by doing that, but that is not possible. You can't spoil a thing so small and precious. So get sleep as you can take it and enjoy every min and every closeness because soon enough he will be up and running around and going off to school and way more interested in spending time with his friends.

Hi K.,

Cosleeping is a great way to keep your baby close to you even during the night when you are sleeping. Your son will feel your presence and know that he is safe and loved. He will not feel lonely or scared during the night, and will never have to wonder where his parents are. Our society places so much importance on getting babies to become "independent", that we forget that babies are NOT SUPPOSED to be independent, rather, they are supposed to depend on us for their every need and we are supposed to provide that to them. Part of giving your baby everything he needs continues through the night with giving him warmth and comfort through the closeness of your touch and breast while he is sleeping. Other societies all over the world sleep with their babies and consider it the only way to sleep.

My son is 1 now and has slept with us since he was born. Sometimes I will lay him down in his little bed right next to mine and when he wakes I'll bring him into my bed, but I find he sleeps so much better when he's with me. When he's in my bed all night, my son will only wake up once when I come to bed, and once around 4 or 5 or so to nurse and go back to sleep. It's such a wonderful feeling waking up with a sleeping baby next to you! There are several great websites that talk about the many benefits of and reasons to cosleep. My favorite is naturalchild.com, which has a ton of articles on a range of topics.

As wonderful as cosleeping is, you have to do what is best for your family. Don't ever cosleep if you or your husband has been drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. That just creates an environment for danger.

Regards,
A.

I have a 2 week old baby that sleeps in bed with me. I am constantly getting told that I need to quit letting him sleep in the bed with me. He was 3 weeks premature and so having him sleep next to me is comforting to not only me but to him also. You need to do whatever you feel is right who cares what others think. It is your baby and you know what is best for him. So if he is content sleeping with you then let him. Yeah it will be hard to break but maybe he is not feeling good and just wants to be next to you or maybe he isnt sleeping well for some other reason and just wants to be up close to mommy. There is nothing wrong with that.

S.

I have been co-sleeping with my son since he was born (we also had a side car co-sleeper) and am a big fan. Sometimes he would use the co sleeper, sometimes he would not. We just kind of went with the flow. My husband, who was skeptical at first, is now 100% loving sleeping as a family. Now my son (who is 2) goes to sleep in his own room and joins us in the big bed when ever he feels like it- which is sometimes an hour after going to sleep and sometimes not at all. Like I said we jsust go with the flow of what works. I am not worried about him becoming too dependant on us or forming an unsafe connection with us (these are the two worries we hear most from others...). We are expecting our second child in July and will happily welcome him to the family bed. Remember to work with your family and do what feels right, there is no 'right or wrong' way to raise your family. Good luck and happy sleeping!

Good for you! Cosleeping is great! Some babies need that closeness with mom and who can blame them after being inside us for9 months?! There is a transitional period while they adjust to being on the outide from about 3-12 mos. While you might be missing a part of you (when he was inside), he's missing you too!

Read "The Baby Book" by Dr. William Sears and you'll never feel bad about cosleeping again! The author is a seasoned pediatrician who raised 8 kids with his RN wife and they have written over 20 books about child care. Now 2 or 3 of his kids are Drs in his family practice as well. They've been on Dr Phil. This is sort of a good starter book if you have not read any of the others, it's got a lot of info from the other books (see also Pregnancy Book, Sleep Book, Breastfeeding Book, Nutrition Book, Discipline Book, Preemie Book, Fussy Baby Book, and more! this is just off the top of my head!) and "The Baby Book" covers birth to age 2.

For a nursing baby, the benefits are great. They cry less since you are right there and can nurse immediately, which is also great for moms as you get more sleep. Frequent crying wastes energy they should be using to grow and learn. They will learn security and love from the beginning. Patience can be taught later. Yes, it reglates their breathing as they hear and feel mom or dad breathing. Great for preemies or those with sleep apnea issues. Cosleeping babies do not die of SIDS, that's why it's called Crib Death, it happens in a crib when babies are sleeping alone.

On a personal note, we are still cosleeping with our son who is almost 3, and on a waterbed (never had any issues) which I like because he cannot fall off, it has rails around all sides. I found out that most of our friends were cosleeping as well and tend to gently transition their kids to their own beds/rooms once breasfeeding was over, usually between 12 and 24 mos, some longer. Most of us let our child wean on his or her own. Our son does sometimes sleep in his own bed that is in our room, but prefers to sleep with us! I know one day he won't want to have anything to do with us so I don't mind sharing our bed for a little while... although Daddy is starting to nudge!

I think it's great, and believe me - it will not last so enjoy it now!

My own son is four now, and sleeps on his own, although he does wake up earlier than his dad and me, so he'll usually crawl into bed with us for about an hour in the morning, which is nice.
Don't let anyone tell you that it's a bad habit - it's a special time, and it is fleeting like everything else in childhood. Enjoy your baby!

I was amazed at how safe I felt sharing sleep with my son. I had never slept so still. I would fully awaken before shifting so there was never a risk of rolling on him or pushing him away. I did have the co-sleeper attached to the bed which he went to bed in, then when he woke for his first feeding he would just come to bed with me, the co-sleeper then acted as a guardrail (kept him from rolling off of the bed).
The AAP advises against allowing infants to sleep in the parents bed, but I think that is a blanket advisement. It is easier to tell everyone to use a crib than to get personal with the parents discussing weight issues, smoking, drinking or drug use, as well as bedding.
If you follow basic sleep sharing guidelines (see The Baby Book by Dr. Sears) your child will most definitely benefit from sleeping by your side.

My son co-slept with me. When he was 2 I got him his own bed. He moved to his own bed just fine, in fact he was excited about it. He's not 3.5 and sleeps in his own room just fine. He goes to bed easily and doesn't come in until the morning. The trick is that once you get a child his/her own bed you need to be firm about them staying in their own bed. Kids know when they can manipulate a situation.

I think co-sleeping is great, especially if you're breast-feeding. You like to sleep with your husband (or just next to someone) right? If people generally like to sleep near other people, why would a tiny baby want to sleep alone?

Hi K.,

I ALWAYS said that I was never going to co-sleep. I ate my words! My son is 10 months and we have co-slept from the time he was born. I glad I do it and wouldn't change a thing. I think it's the best choice when you're breastfeeding. I know I get quite a bit more sleep because my son sleeps better. He does sleep in his crib initially...usually anywhere from 3-7 hours. When he wakes up, I bring him to bed with me and nurse him back to sleep. He stays with me until morning when he wakes up. About 3 hours after he wakes up in the morning, we take a nap together too. I've noticed that he sleeps SO much better when he's laying next to me. I've tried to let him nap by himself and he'll only sleep about 20 minutes. When he naps with me, he'll sleep about 2 hours! I love the extra sleep too! I will probably continue to co-sleep until I'm done breastfeeding. It makes me a little sad to think about my baby not being cuddled next to me at night. My advice...as long as co-sleeping is working well for you, keep on doing it! Good Luck! You're doing great!

R.

hi there,

my son is 9 mos old and has slept with me most of the night from the beginning. as long as you can sleep comfortably with him in your bed i think it is wonderful! he won't always want to be right by your side, so enjoy this extra special cuddling time while you can! i will say however, that my son's transition to his crib once i decided that i wasn't sleeping well with him in my bed was a little harder than i think it would have been had i started it earlier. the other thing is that while i think co-sleeping is wonderful, it is just so easy to roll over and nurse any time they make a peep or wake up. it gets you through the night a little more easily, but seems like my son had a bit harder time learning to self sooth once i decided i would like my breasts to myself a little more often during the night. anyhow- i say do whatever yoyu feel comfortable with. good luck!

I have 5 children all grown now. And I love breast feeding each and every one until they were one. I know how tired being a mom is. At one time I had 3 under the age of 3 by 3 months and my husband was in Germany in the service. I have always felt that there is one place in my home that is mine a sactuary a place where I could go to re-group and that was my bedroom. So even when I was drop dead tired I would get up find the most comfortable chair in my house and enjoy those quiet just me and baby times. I can remember times I wouldn't turn on the light in hopes that the baby would sleep and not think it was time to play. But when push came to shove we both slept in our own beds. Because not only was it my sanctuary but it was also my husbands and we need a place where we were husband and wife, not mom and dad. I hope this doesn't offend you. Tee

I co-slept with my first until he was 3 months old and kicked me in his sleep. My second is about to turn 3 months, and I'll see if she's ready or not.

I just don't want to wait longer than 6 months - all my friends who coslept more than that are STILL trying to get their toddler out of their bed at 3 years old!

I love co-sleeping with my little guy. My 4 year old daughter sleeps in her own bed all night, but my son won't sleep without me. I didn't nurse either one, but if I had, they would have been in bed with me too. When they were babies, I would just make sure their head was all the way to the top of the bed...so their faces couldn't get buried in our covers. I love the closeness, though my husband gives me a hard time. My daughter has a full size bed so sometimes I let them sleep together and the closeness keeps them asleep all night. :) My husband always says my son will sleep with us until he's 10. I seriously doubt it...but he is a big mommy's boy! I think you will both be better off bunking together ;)

I loved co-sleeping with my son until he outgrew it naturally at about 8 months. It made nursing so convenient, and I feel like it helped him bond more with his father since they would usually end up cuddling!

i don't see anything wrong with co-sleeping unless you're a heavy sleeper and might roll on your baby. but they have little nests that you can put in your bed for that. they seem to defeat the purpose of co-sleeping since you wake up more to get the baby out of its nest.

anyway, i co-slept with my first daughter until she was a year old. at that point, she started rotating in her sleep and kicking us in the heads so i stuck her in a crib in our room. it was a pretty easy transition.

for my second, she was a restless sleeper right from the get-go and being a light sleeper, i couldn't have her near me or in my room because i would wake up at every little noise. she slept in her own room and crib from the beginning.

we had a lot of trouble with the night-time schedule with my older one, once we put her in a twin in her own room. it took years for us to straighten out. whereas my second started sleeping through the night once i stopped breastfeeding her. so was it our tactics or their personalities? i'm just glad to get a full night's sleep finally.

i did enjoy the co-sleeping while it lasted. i think it will ultimately depend on your child's personality as to how hard it will be to get him out of your bed later. i would suggest doing it around one year because if you wait until more around the 2 year mark, it seems harder to make them do anything.

Hi! I have a now 6 month old son that I had in a co-sleeper as well. I would pull him in next to me to nurse when he was a newborn, but then he would be so content to sleep next to me, and he seemed to much warmer, that I would just leave him there, and after a while, I just forgot about the co-sleeper. He is by far the most alert, contented and happy little boy I've ever seen, and I think it's because he feels secure at night. I did a lot of research on bed-sharing, and although I don't think I'll go all the way and have all my kids in our bed until they're two or three (yikes!), I am a definite convert to bed-sharing with infants. When he was sick a little while ago, the doctor told me to expect lots of crankiness, a decrease in nursing and about two weeks for him to recover... he was happy as a clam snuggled in bed next to me, he nursed just as mush as he had before, which seemed to help clear his stuffy nose, and he was better in only 4 days. There is a book called "Three in a Bed" by Deborah Jackson that was really helpful to read. It's very well researched and footnoted.

I co-slept with my oldest son until he was six months and loved the closeness and convenience. I moved him to his crib then because he was getting more mobile and I was worried that he'd fall off my bed. (The first night in his crib was ROUGH. I sat on the edge of my bed watching him crying on the baby monitor while I cried and resisted the urge to run to him. But after that horrible first night, he was great about going down into his crib.) I co-slept with my twins for their first three months. I had them in the middle of the bed and moved from one side of the bed to the other to care for each baby as he woke. At three months, one twin started rolling over and I was worried about suffocation, etc. and the other twin started sleeping for longer and longer blocks of time and didn't care whether or not he was in my bed or in his crib as long as his tummy was full and his bottom was dry! I moved both of them into their cribs - but kept them in the same bedroom. They are ten months old now. One sleeps through the night. The other wakes up at least once to nurse. I take him to bed until he's done nursing and then I gently put him back in his crib. In order to co-sleep, I removed the comforter and the blanket and ONLY used sheets because I didn't want to risk smothering any of my boys. I also only had one small (not fluffy pillow) for the same reason. I'm not a heavy sleeper by nature and I NEVER co-slept with my boys when I was over-tired or when I had taken any medicine (allergy, cold, headache). I took all the precautions I could think of to make certain they would be safe, and as soon as I had concerns they went into their cribs.

I think everyone has to do what is right for their family, but as someone with children who is trained in child psychology, I can tell you that the sooner your child learns to sleep on his own and to self comfort, the easier it will be for him. Babies make this transition easier when they are younger.

Also, do not forget about your marriage. Being a mommy and daddy is great, but you also need a special place where you can be husband and wife.

Hi K.! My name is D. and I have a 5 month old daughter and am in the same positon as you! :) I personally feel that it is ok, she sleeps in her basanet until she wakes in the very early am and then stays in bed with me until her sister who is two wakes up. I also nursed my two year old and she slept with us until we put her in her own room at about 11 months.....it was a tuff adjustment for us both I remeber that much, but I am having trouble with the thoughts of putting my baby in her own room, the time is really flying by! It's so nice to have that bonding time with them too. Doctors recomend against it, but I personally haven't had any issues!

I let my son co-sleep with us, even over my husbands arguments. I thought he was just being mean. Now 3.5 years later We are still fighting with him to sleep in his own bed. We are making progress but he has to sleep in our room right next to my side of the bed. I say if you can, and trust me I know its hard, but get him in his own bed or you'll end up having him sleep with you for years. I mistakenly thought it would be easier to get him out after he was older, wrong, its harder. I love having him sleep next to me, it gives me comfort,and him too, but its also hard on the marriage. Ok theres my 2 cents...lol.

Hello,
Some people will tell you never to co-sleep that you're children will be ruined for life, but I don't think anyone can really say that. All children are different. One thing to maybe think about is when are you going to want him to start sleeping on his own. At some point he will need to. My Aunt and Uncle always co-slept with their children but then when they were 4 and 5 years old they had a really hard time sleeping on their own and always went into their parents bed. I had my daughter in my room until she was 3 months old and then she got her own room. I also breastfed her. At a certain point though I knew she wasn't really hungry at night and she was just developing habits of waking up and eating and sleeping with me. I knew she would be fine sleeping until 4 or 5 in the morning in her own bed. The thing is figuring out when your child is starting to do it out of habit rather then need. But that is different for everyone. Good luck.