Cleaning up Own Potty Accidents?

I don't think it helps to have the child clean up as a punitive action. If she is having accidents it is because she is too distracted to recognize the signals her body is giving her. She will grow out of it. But you can still have her help and I think it is totally appropriate to approach it from the same standpoint as having kids help clean up any mess they make. With my son I would use these opportunities to ask him about why he thinks he had the accident. I learned a lot about where he was in the potty learning stages by doing this (he was able to tell me things like "I didn't want to stop playing" or "I couldn't feel that I had to go").

Each child is different and develops at different levels. Making a 3.5 yr old clean up her own accidents might make things worse. They say that you should never make a child feel guilty about accidents because in most cases, they do not do it on purpose. She might end up having more in a case that she feels bad, ashamed, or embarrased about having accidents. When, instead she should be encouraged when she's doing it right. She'll come around...all kids have accidents, it's part of life and she'll come around. Just give it time.

Yes, I would have her help clean it. She can take off her wet clothes and bag them up. She can wipe up the mess (which you can bleach when she is done) and throw away paper towels. She can get out her own dry clothes and put them on. I would talk to her parents about this and see if it is happening at home and how they react to it. I would also require her to go to the bathroom and at least try every hour while she is having accidents. I would set a timer for an hour and when it goes off, she tries to go potty. Avoiding the accidents is the best bet, then you don't have to worry about cleaning them up.
S.
mom of 3 and daycare provider

I work at a daycare center. Our policy is to take the child to the bathroom get them extra clothes have them take their clothes off and get dressed and put their soiled clothes in a bag but thats it. We clean up any extra mess on the floor. Kids general don't do it on purpose, and it could make them feel degraded to have to clean up an "accident". She is also only three. If you feel so strongly that this is what you would like to do, check with her parents to make sure it is ok with them to have her clean her own mess. Good luck.

In the rare times that our son (3.5) has an accident, it's because he's waited too long to go potty - he's too involved in whatever he's doing & doesn't want to be bothered to go pee.

Yes, we have him help us in the clean-up. He helps mop up the floor with towels, gets himself changed into clean clothes & gets the wet clothes into the laundry room (or at least to the basement). I don't think it's punitive so much as it teaches him to take care of himself & consequences of his actions. We're teaching him that all actions have consequences - good or bad depending on the action.

He thinks it's a drag to spend time cleaning up, changing clothes, etc. and has learned that it takes far less time to interrupt his activity & get himself to the bathroom.

If you're concerned about having her help being perceived as punitive, maybe talk to her parents about what they do when/if she has accidents at home. That might give you some insight into what happens for her regularly & give you some peace of mind about your plans.

Good luck!
J.
Mom to Chase (3.5)

I personally think that holding a child who is only 3 accountable for potty accidents a little extreme, I mean if she was 4 or 5 then that's getting to be a bit old for accidents but a 3 year old is pretty little and understandably doesn't have the control an older child would. It doesn't sound like she is doing it to get attention. I have only ever potty trained boys so far (I have an 8 year old and am in the middle of training a 2almost 3 year old boy) but I have twin girls who will be potty training soon (they are 21 months old) and although it will be difficult not to get annoyed with accidents (I am having plenty of that right now with my middle son and it IS frustrating) I don't think I would require too much from them until about 4 years old. I also mirror another reply in which I would certainly be hesitant to trust a 3 year old to do a remotely good job of cleaning up after him/herself. I think making her take off her old clothes, bagging them and putting on her new clothes is a fair enough consiquence. But I really feel the actual cleaning should be up to you only an adult can clean up a germy situation like that accurately, especially in a daycare situation. Have you talked to the parents about this at all and how they feel it should be handled?
I think it is good that she doesn't seem too upset by the fact she is having accidents, she obviously is aware that they happen and there's no use getting too upset about it. I hope I can keep my cool and teach my kids that as long as they are trying then accidents happen and we'll just all move on. Obviously these are just my opinions about things. I totally understand though how frustrating it is to clean up messes of that kind.
Hope you are able to work it out.
K. H

My daughter is 6 and still has tiny accidents, she's busy or lazy and races to the bathroom too and has a dribble or two in her pants but mostly goes in toliet. It frustrates me beyond belief. Usually I will have asked her 5min. beforehand if she needed to go. And she usually tells me oh no mommy.

I make her 100% in charge, she knows the drill and is so good at it sometimes I don't even know she had accident unless I notice soiled panties soaking or she changed her clothing.

So I force her to go sometimes. If I know she hasn't gone in awhile and she most likely is being lazy I'm like to bad go up stairs and try.

As far as running a daycare I'd leave the mess up to her except for the chemicals to clean it up. Maybe you could make her go every 2 hours regardless or she has to atleast try every 2 hours. Is she doing this at home too or just at your house where she's busy with all the kids?

If she's borrowing your clothing or your spare clothes make it something not fun to change into also.

*Although keep this in mind, when my daughter was 3 and had been potty trained for awhile and would have 3 accidents in one day I took her into the doctor. I thought my goodness there must be something like a bladder infection. Well they did a xray which I thought was weird and it ended up my daughter severely constipated which meant everything was pushing on her bladder. So there was a medical reason for her many accidents out of the blue, with a prescription to help her go #2 she stopped having the accidents like that!

As a mother who takes her kids to a home daycare, I would feel uncomfortable with this going on. If it were just you in your home, I'd say fine (or my kids only in my home). But urine is messy and bacteria and viruses can easily be spread. Sure maybe he doesn't use the chemicals, but I also don't expect a 3 yr to be good at cleaning his/her hands thoroughly - which could then spread germs to toys or things that all the kids use. If you do decide to do this, could you make him wear gloves or something? Just sharing my thoughts on this....