Christmas with the Inlaws

Wow, that's incredibly rude! I can't imagine falling asleep at a relatives house like that, especially on Christmas.. If I were you I'd make it real hard for them to fall asleep, like "This Christmas we told the kids no TV, so the TV will stay off so we can spend time with family" or something along those lines.. why don't they just leave if it's that boring for them or they are that tired? I'd be scratching my head.. If they did fall asleep I'd blare Christmas music and make lots of noise with the kids lol.. but as my husband tells me I'm a tad bit passive aggressive...

Wow, they're so *comfortable* at your house, aren't they?! Do they then spend the night? Or do you shake them awake and send them on their way home? They sound like children!

As soon as they arrived, I might tell a while lie (of course the whole family would have to be in on it, though): "TV's broke. Oh well! We're playing charades immediately following dinner this year!"

Obviously these people are not normally involved with your lives. It's birthdays, Christmas and other occasions. They are a distressed family without any social skills. It is too late for 180. But, instead of ruining Christmas day with these people invite them for Christmas eve. That limits everything. Extend the invitation for 6 PM and serve dinner then. Exchange the presents and then they will go home. For Christmas day invite a friend and their children whose family lives too far away for them to go home. Have your games and fun times and for once be happy about Christmas at home.

I would do a Christmas Eve party with finger foods and desserts. Everybody mingles a bit, has a few bites, opens a presnt or two, hugs all around and Night night, I'm sure you wanna beat the traffic, gotta get the kids in bed, Santas coming you know and it's over.

Keep the tv off. Unplug it...or lie and say its broken or cable company accidently turned off cable.

My answer.......... invite some of your lively friends, have a blast, and anyone who falls asleep is fair game. LOL! I would keep some colored eye liner and a camera around for some quick facepainting and photo ops. LMAO! Sorry, but falling asleep at a family gathering on the holidays is plain RUDE! Have fun girl! It's Christmas for crying out loud! I guess my silly side is coming out today! :)

Geez, serve those people some caffeine!!! Give them special caffeinated water or serve double strength coffee and black tea when they first arrive. And serve chocolate covered coffee beans! Try to avoid alcohol which makes some people sleepy. That's what I would do. ;) Also talk to them beforehand and let them know you'd really like to all play Pictionary or something after you eat and you would love it if they would join in. Good luck! PS - Apples to apples is a fun game that adults and kids can all enjoy together!

I know they were asleep, but...they were your guests and you left your own home to go where it was more fun for you? They may never have known what you were doing but maybe this year you can try to be more accommodating and involve them more, rather than leaving if they don't celebrate in the way you prefer.

Plan activities-- don't let everyone get into sit-down mode or they'll fall asleep. You'll need your husband's backing, though. Ensure that as soon as the holiday meal is done, everyone goes for a walk, around the block at the least, and yes, even in the snow, unless it's unsafe and icy. Get out a game and have it already set up and ready before anyone even arrives; talk up the game during dinner.

And most of all-- if the in-laws just check out and still don't participate, enjoy it with your husband and kids. Not all families are the same, and it sounds like you'd like your in-laws to be as fun and active as your own immediate family; you can try to goose things up for a more active holiday but don't be crushed or angry or take it personally if they don't go for it; at least you will have tried and you can go on and celebrate around them as they sleep. They are who they are and they may see your family's dancing, singing and games as too much, while your family would see their relaxation as too lazy. No one's right or wrong -- you just find it too quiet. But for one day you can deal with them, right? Because it's about accommodating your husband's family that raised him, not just about having the fun you're used to having. You can do both if you're willing to invite them to participate but also willing to forge ahead with the games etc. if they don't participate. Your kids will learn from this to be good hosts, to invite others to take part, and to have fun on their own with their family if others don't take part.

One other thought -- are your MIL and FIL older folks? Maybe not very fit? They may actually not have much energy especially after a heavy meal, or they may fall asleep in front of the TV at home on a regular day, not just at your house on a holiday. I'd cut them extra slack if they are older, set in their ways, or possibly not in great shape.

I so can commiserate. My family are all out of state, so we never do holdiays with them. My family holidays always included football watching, board game playing, present swaps and lots of activity and fun and laughing.

At my inlaws, everyone sits around and looks at each other, we eat, and then everyone fall asleep, including DH, while I chase my toddlers around and try to keep them from breaking things. We stay for over SIX HOURS. I really dread holidays and am happy when they are over.

I once got a little momentum going for some Wii playing, but of the three people willing to give it a try, two couldnt figure out the remote, and everyone seemed a little apprehensive about turning my FIL golf channel off.

I look forward to the suggestions.

if the worst thing ur il's do is fall asleep be happy=) maybe shorten the trip, and J. say we're having you guys over for lunch or to see the kids open presents bright and early

Sometimes I wish my MIL would fall asleep! LOL...but then she snores so it's a lose-lose situation.

I don't know what to tell you though. I'm sorry. My family comes and leaves - no hanging out for hours. If they are tired they go home, etc.