Child Who Will Not Potty Train

I had the same problem with my 2 1/2 year old daughter (now 3). I wanted to get her potty trained before I had my third baby, three months later. After about a month I gave up and put her back in diapers. 5 months later I finally decided to try it again, but I did it completely, no diapers, no plastic pants, nothing. I told her that everytime she peed in her pants I would take her barbies away until she went in the potty. It took about 1 or 2 days and she caught on. I haven't used a pullup since (even at night). Every kid is different. When they are ready they will do it. Good Luck!!

Hi J.! One of the things I did for my boys at that age was to make them WANT to do it in the toilet. You can either show him how he's making "bubbles" and both giggle about it OR a really fun one is to throw a Cheerio into the toilet and he can move it around with his stream...play hit the Cheerio!

J.,
I have had 2 boys, now 19 and 14. They were very difficult to potty train. I was ready for them to be potty trained at 2 but they were not ready until 3. He will let you know when he is ready to do more. I used to bribe them with ice cream if they stayed dry all day. That worked!
Good luck

We stayed home for 3 days and let my son run around half naked...for 3 entire days. We didn't really have to train him. After the three days we added undies, but no pants. He had a couple of accidents...but it was no big deal. After another 2 days we added pants...and again, a couple of accidents, but very very few. After about 2 weeks, he was 100%. Every time he went potty, even if he had a small accident, but finished on the potty, we gave him big hugs, kisses and a high five. We never let an ounce of negative discipline come into play during potty training. After the 2 weeks we started to forget to give the hugs, kisses and high five, but he reminded us! Ha!

We started my son at 23 months old and he was trained before his 2nd birthday, but don't let that discourage you. He had been waking up every morning dry since he was 9 months old, so he had good control...not all kids do.

We used candles and they worked like a charm! Each time my son actually goes he got to blow out a candle. Birthday candles work great. I kept them and matches up high in the bathroom closet so they were always handy.

We are also working with our two year old daughter on potty training. I have heard from other wise mothers that you as the trainer have to be patient and disciplined. They will be ready when they want to be ready. You can't force a two year old to go potty on the toilet (if you know what I mean). I have also heard that some boys just don't want anything to do with going in the toilet until they are three - and then they get it and it clicks. That is good that your son is already going morning and night. That's a great start. Just be consistent with that and he will get the in-between times.

I had a son the same way. I read this book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" by Nathan H. Azrin, Ph.D. It seriously felt like it took me longer to read the book than to potty train him after. The process takes an entire day of just you and your son, nobody else (get a sitter) and nothing else. But I swear to you it works.

My son wasn't ready until he was closer to 3 yrs old. He did really well at first, and then regressed. It was frustrating because like you, I knew he knew when he had to go, and it just didn't make sense that he wasn't going on the potty. I got sick of cleaning urine off of everything, so I "gave up" for about two weeks. All of a sudden, he was volunteering to go potty and keeping his pull ups dry all day. Just be patient, and he'll come around! That was probably the best advice given to me :)

Good Luck!
A.

I'm sorry you're going through this frustration. It must be so hard! I will start by saying that I'm not speaking from my own experience as my oldest is also 2 1/2 and not even begun to have interest in potty training. But I asked my sister about it recently, she has 6 kids, and she told me this: you can't train a child until THEY are ready. And from the books she's read on the subject, most kids aren't ready until age 3. So you can start teaching them at 2 1/2 and have to beg, cajole, threaten and plead and they'll finally do it at age 3. Or you can wait until they are 3 and do it quickly and painlessly. That's what she's told me and several friends with older kids have confirmed this idea. So I'm going to wait until my 2 1/2 year old says she's ready and wants to do it. I already fight her on eating...I'm going to hold off on poty training. Good luck!

Hi,

The clue here is his statement of wanting to be a baby forever-he WAS "the baby" before his little sister came along and may see this as a way of getting some of that attention again. He will outgrow it. Half the battle is won in that he recognizes and knows WHAT to do, he's just CHOOSING not to do it and there is (deep breath, sit down, are you ready?) NOT A THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT *LOL* (I mean, you can't squeeze it out of him, right?) and he knows it.

So if you just stick with pull-ups and make it clear that it is HIS decision of using the potty, and if he wants to still use the diaper (which pull-ups really are) then he may. Once you let it go and turn it over to him (the one with the control of his bladder) much of the draw of 'playing you' will be gone.

I went through similar problems with my kids and when I turned it over to them I was much less stressed and they did it when they were ready.

Good luck, and relax :-)...

I think your son is holding on to the last thing that is absolutely his choice--the one thing he has complete control over. My suggestion would be to take the pressure off, let him use the potty as he has been, praise him for making a good choice,and then be very nonjudgmental about other times. Tell him that it's his choice. When he chooses to really start going, he'll feel in control because HE made the choice, not you. There is still plenty of time.:)

My daughter is 3 and finally potty trained. I started her quite early, because she was going to the bathroom by herself, she would take off her diaper to go pee or poo. So I figured well she must be ready. After the excitement wore off which was only a few days, she went back to having accident after accident. I was doing laundry all day long! After a year of struggling with her, I finally put pull ups on her and said fine do it when you want~ I still got tired of changing poopy diapers though, and knew she could be potty trained if I got creative and worked harder at it. So since she had a small bladder, it seemed like she went pee every 20 minutes. I set the oven timer to 20 min. and took her on the potty...usually she would always go. After she went I would set it to another 20 min. Did this for 3 days~ Her reward for going pee, was to move her little butterfly on our reward chard...1 space per every pee...two spaces per every poo! :-) There are 10 spaces total and when she gets to the end...she gets a treat! It has worked great!
For your little guy you may have to give a treat every time he goes pee or poo...like an m.n.m or skittle, did that with my son. Eventually we all forget about the treats and their potty trained! Good luck!

I have been dealing with the same problem. My first potty trained herself before two so I thought the second would be a breeze as well. But at three and half she is still not there yet. I have read books, talked to doctors and friends, and come to the conclusion that she will potty train when she is good and ready. There is nothing I can do to push the issue. I just take hope in the fact that she won't be in high school in diapers. Recently, she has started telling me that she needs to go on her own. I am confident that because I stopped pushing the issue she has begun to tackle it on her own. You might try just backing off for a while, otherwise it could become a power struggle if it isn't already.

You may not want to hear this, but I'd back off for a while. 2 1/2 years old is not very old to potty train. You may be hearing others saying that they potty trained their children at 18 months or some other outrageously early time. I didn't potty train my children (both male and female) until they were 3 1/2. My kids were trained in very short order by waiting until they were older.

If you have outside forces that are pressuring this little boy to be trained sooner, I would give the older boy some "grown-up opportunities" that the younger boy would find appealing and when he wants to participate, you could tell him that he needs to be a "big kid" to have it or do it. He probably sees the attention you give to your little girl and wants more of that. The privileges of growing up have not sunk in yet. Good Luck!

Hi J., I'm a 60 year old grandmother and my own children were easy,BUT not my granddaughter. My daughter tried everything and nothing worked. My granddaughter is very bright like your son and she knew exactly when she had to go. She even wore panties for hours and then asked for a diaper. The bottom line is she was 3 years old and going to be 4 in January of this year when they had a break thru. She was in a pre-K program and they said she could not come back until she was potty trained, so here is how they did it. She stayed home while her younger sister went to school and had fun and her mother started taking things away until she went potty. Example no movie or Baby Einstein til she went potty. It worked in about 3 days, now she is the potty princes. Her sister is 2 time will tell about that one. Good luck M.

in some cases just going in the morning and night for a 2 1/2 year old is a big accomplishment.
that's a start. i would stick with what he is doing positivly and just go with it. and still talk about the wearing underpants some day positivly without judgements or guilt. he will be ready mentally in time.
you showing your frustration will only slow his progress down. trust me..lol

Well, all I can say is be patient and he will do it when he is ready. I have a 3 1/2 daughter who won't potty train either. She is also lactose intolerant and she wants to be a baby forever. Her 2 year old sister is more interested than she is and we are expecting a boy in June. I am just trying to patient and not force her because it just makes her mad and cry. My 8 and 6 year girls both potty trained right before they turned 3 so I was hoping for that with this one. I know she will do it when she is ready. I have been so frustrated by it though. AGh!

One thing that helped us was to find out what your child's favorite tv character is, i.e. Barney, Elmo, Thomas, Superman, whatever. Then see if your husband can do an impersonation of that character. If so then tell your child that if he goes to the bathroom on the potty then he can call them on the phone and tell them that he is a big boy and went on the potty. Of course you are calling your husband at work and not really the character. If he is not able to be contacted at work, see if a friend can help. This really made my kids excited to actually talk to their fav. tv character.

The best way I got my son to start to go potty i asked him if he wants to start going places with his grandma and grandpa or with us he will need to start being a big boy and useing the potty chair. And it seemed to work.

It's a power struggle that really you can't win. I have 6 children, half of which did the same thing. I put mine back into diapers but if you don't want to do that then I would recommend pull ups. When he gets bigger he will eventually decide that he wants to use the toilet. With mine, I would give them 6 more months and then try again.

After reading the various responses, I don't want to give more of the same...so first note that a bribe is a reward before the action and a reward is given after the action and is VERY good! By three and a bit years old, my son still showed no interest in being potty trained. I have potty trained my other kids all while being pregnant with the next one! So I'm 5 months preg. and I don't want two in diapers. One day at walmart he sees the big container that has individual cars packaged. He LOVES cars! He has been begging for cars for weeks, so I give in, but tell him that they will be "potty" cars. That he will get one when he puts poopies in the toilet. I put them up high and when he pooped he got a car, when he peed he got a car sticker. He went from no interest to completely potty trained in 3 days...no accidents...no taking away the pull ups. His big sisters were his biggest cheerleaders. I had one or two pee messes as he didn't run fast enough. And not getting his sticker was so dramatic that he made sure himself that he was making it. I never reminded him either, or else he would not go because he doesn't like to be "nagged". Know that everybody is different along with every child. My first I forced...nightmare...my second got to two years old, noticed big sister was doing it and potty trained her self over night...they still compete and they are 11 & 7. I have one more to go and I will find a toy that he can't resist!
Good luck

I am a mother of four. I have two girls (11 & 7), a 5 year old with severe disabilities (therefore haven't even thought of potty training him) and a 1 year old boy. I know this may not be helpful, but I have heard boys are just slower to potty train. Maybe continue the morning and evening routine, but back off during the day for a while...let it be his decision to be a big boy rather than cause extra friction between the two of you.

M. T

Iwent to the dollar store and bought little bag of plastic frogs (you can get anything your child is interested in) Each time he peed in the toilet he chose 1 frog, pooped, 2 frogs. After all the frogs were gone he started to regress. So each time he peed in his pants I took away 1 frog, pooped, 2 frogs

It worked!

Yep, I have been there and I tired EVERYTHING. I did every trick out there and nothing worked. I think I was pushing to hard. Everyone always stresses their kid trained early which made me feel like a bad mom. Nope it is totally true they train when they are ready. I basically gave it up for a while. And about 2-3 wks later he was doing it on his own. He was 3 when he accomplished it. Definitely get rid of pull-ups except for night. That helped alot b/c he got sick of being wet. It was super stressful and annoying for me cleaning messes up. But I was totally relaxed and told him he better start using the potty. It was a really rough one week and the 2nd week was better but still hard. Pooping was a whole other story, but eventually several weeks later he mastered that too. Lighten up and let him do it. Besides most boys take a little longer. 3-4 yrs old is okay my ped said. If not by 4 then maybe some problems but a ton of boys master it by 3.

J., check on my responses to this question before. One thing that seems to work is buying 10 little $1 things at a $ store, wrapping them up, putting them on the top of the frig so he can see them but not get them. When he goes potty during the day, he gets one. Then slowly change over from the presents to a healthy treat.

There are alot of suggestions under this catagory. Good luck. mb

Kids won't potty train until they decide they are ready. I had this same problem with my daughters. They knew just what to do, but they just didn't want to do it. You can have your son clean up all of his accidents and "practice" going to the potty when he has an accident. This works for some children. You can also have a talk with him to tell him that he is the only one that can potty train him; it's his responsibility. I personally had to just wait until my girls decided they were ready to be potty trained. They were about 3 1/2.

Little boys rarely potty train before 3....sometimes older! Take the stress out of your life (and his) and just wait until he is willing and able. You'll know when that is. Then I promise it will take 1-3 days and you will be done. He senses that you are all stressed about it right now so that is making it harder for him to go.....Also using your older son as an example might work. Good Luck!

I agree with Lacy. Boys often take their time. I was trying to potty train my son when I was pregnant with my daughter but I had such severe morning sickness that I had to let it go, plus he was reluctant to use the potty. He was a few months past his 3 year old birthday and he just decided that he was done with diapers. He did not have to be bribed, coaxed or forced to use the potty- he was just ready! And I was soooo happy! No stress on my son and NO MESS! Good luck to you!

Our son (then almost 2 1/2) too, gave us trouble. He knew exactly what to do, but never wanted to stop playing to go to the bathroom. Have you tried one candy (M&M's or Skittles) as a reward? This at least motivated our son to do the job. We even did a few "naked" days at home, and he did really well, but if we put him in a pull-up to run errands or something, it was no good. What finally worked was to go cold turkey on the pull-ups. Our son was having a friend over one day, and I new he couldn't be naked all day, so we put him in undies. He had three accidents on that day (make sure he sits on a towel when at the table, etc), but never had another one. He has been in undies ever since, both day and night.

I wholeheartedly agree with J. O. Let him be without bottoms for a while. He won't like it running down his leg. If you keep him in pull ups, it's going to take longer. Being naked works in a shorter amount of time, too. You just need to devote a lot of time to him to get him through this, but in the long run, it will be worth it. I understand that if he goes to a babysitter or daycare, it will be impossible to do, but, it really worked with my boys.

I don't know if you are much into parenting books, but I just recently trained my 3 year old son using the method in the book called "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" by Nathan Azrin. My son was the same way - only going once in a while, but not going when I urged him to. The method in the book suggests that you set aside about 3 hours one day and just focus on potty training, which actually turned out to be kinda fun for me and my son. It's all about positive reinforcement. It's pretty easy reading and didn't take too long to read - in case you're concerned about time. My son has been using the toilet for about a week now - completely on his own and doing awesome (not perfect, but still awesome). I would recommend the book to anyone! I was able to check it out from my library, but if you need to buy it, here is the link to the book on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/06...
Good luck to you!

My boy - now 5 - didn't get potty trained until he was 3 1/2. I have a 3 yr old girl too - she trained at 2 1/2 - MUCH easier. My advice - just be patient. He won't stay in diapers forever. When he's ready, he'll do it. I found that the more I pushed w/ mine, the less he wanted to go! I work outside the home, so he did go to daycare. Finally - the summer after he turned 3, I let him run around naked. He had a couple accidents but all around, he didn't want to wet himself, SO -- just like that - in like 2-3 days he was trained! I don't think it would have worked before he was 3 though, he was very adament about wearing his diapers. This too shall pass :-)

My children are grown passed this stage but I have a 4 yr old grandson we are trying to potty train now. He's just as stubborn, but have found a sucker as a prize works and a lot of praise. He still sometimes forgets (gets busy) but has gotten better. Also telling him that he can't get on the school bus in pull-ups works too. good luck they can be stubborn!

I'd wait a few months and try when it's warmer, and he's closer to 3. Try it again in March when the weather is better and you can play outside. After a few days of being wet, he'll get the picture. Poo is another story though.... my older one would NOT poo on the potty for 6 months after she was potty trained! It took Santa Clause telling her that she wouldn't get any presents unless she poo'd on the potty, and from that day on, she's been fine. go figure....

Good luck!

You know, boys are a little funny this way. Two and a half is a little on the early side for boys, in any case. Mine asked for a potty at 2, made one mistake, and didnt train until he was about 4.

(He also, strangely enough, never had an accident in preschool - so it was never about being ABLE to do it - he just didn't want to! And, well after he was pee trained, he still needed his dipe for poops.)

Force only ended up in tears for us both. Bribes had no effect. So - I let him have control of the issue. If he was wet, he had to change it, if he was poopy, he had to deal with it... and, when he was ready to let go of it he did.

I do not know if just dropping the subject, and letting him take care of it is practical for you... I think it might save you a whole lot of frustration!

My son was the same way - he knew exactly what was going on and just simply refused to use the potty. I found out that no matter what I did, he wasn't going to potty train until he was ready. Save yourself a lot of aggrevation and stress (for both of you) and let it go for a month or two, then bring it up again. I found that my son didn't have any desire just because I wanted him to do it, but as soon as he had a reason - which was preschool - he jumped on the bandwagon.

We used the Potty Train Your Child in One Day (it's a book, but you can find the condensed version on Drphil.com in his advice section) and he was using the potty consistently by the end of the day. I'd say it took about a week for him to fully be potty trained. It involves using a peeing doll to show him how the potty works and then you have a party for the doll with gifts (yeah for the dollar store) and then you do the same for your son. And my son was just over 3-years old when this FINALLY happened.

Good luck. (And I did find my daughter was a MILLION times easier to potty train and she was finished just after he second birthday. You might be like me and get two out of diapers in less than a year!)

I have done the same thing for my kids and it has worked like a charm each and everytime.... Here's what I do.
1 week before their 3rd Birthday I tell them they are not babies anymore so the diapers have to go away now forever. I let them see me through the diapers away in the trash so they realize that this is the real deal. From then on there are no more diapers in my house. I do not believe in pull ups, plastic pants, etc. I think it confuses the child. I go cold turkey....diapers one day then big boy or girl underwear the next. There are usually a few accidents the first couple of days. But I will tell you that once a child potties on him or her self a couple of times they learn real fast how to use the potty. Works like clock work! I have had all of my kids potty trained in just a matter of a couple of days. The key to making this work really well is always have them use the bathroom right when they get up, just before bed, and before they leave the house each and everytime...no exceptions. And under NO Circumstances put a diaper on them again. This may require you stay home for a day or two (no trips to the mall or long outings) It will work if you stick with it. Good luck

He's not ready. 2 1/2 is still pretty young for a boy to be potty trained. Neither of mine were fully potty trained til they were 3 1/2. Boys just take longer. You're going to have to be patient and wait til HE'S ready. Just keep being encouraging, but don't push, it'll just make him dig his heels in and take longer.

My two year old just decided one day he wanted to try it. We cheer him on everytime and make a huge deal about it still and its been 6 months! I went to a local grocery store and bought some Gummy Sharks. He knows that treat is only for him when he goes potty. I never give it to him for anything else, so it helps him know he gets a reward.

Hello-
Don't worry about it and don't push it to much. I owned a daycare for 7 years and both my children started school so I ended up closing it down but, to make the long story short. Every kid that has come into my life and I took care of learned potty training differently. I had only one child that actually caught on to it when he was in his 2's. I don't want to say don't introduce it to him but, ask him but, do not push it that only gets him scared or he tries to hold it longer than what he is able to.
I did have a parent try the M&M treat reward and that worked for awhile but, you can't give him that for the rest of his life.
My personal children a boy and a girl both seemed to really decide that they wanted to be big the day they turned 3. That was the last day that they wore diapers and that is something to consider, by then he will know his feelings and that he has to go and then he will just go. Number one thing is to remember once you start big boy pants do not go back. that just makes their bodies and minds confused.
I hope this helps and I know every child is differnt so don't give up hope he may just wake up one morning and be potty trained.
Good luck
T.

My son did not potty train until 3 1/2. It was very hard as I felt like there was societal pressure of what is normal and I just wanted him to be done...my dear old father said on more than once occaison: "He's not going to graduate from high school is diapers, relax". Good advice, I think. Once he was ready, it was one wet smelly week and then he was far better at not wetting his bed than my other son.

Good luck.

Just drop it. Go ahead and make sure he knows that he is welcome to use the toilet whenever he is ready, but don't push it. If he says he needs to go, then offer the toilet. If he says no, let him be. We ended up spending about a year trying to potty train our first (we knew she could do it, but just wouldn't) and finally found out that she was taking it as a power struggle. We backed off completely. Never brought it up unless she did first. We praised her when she used the bathroom, and changed her when she didn't. Finally, when /she/ decided she wanted to, she just started using the toilet. It took only a couple of days for her to be practically accident-free. If you push too hard now, it might make things worse. It drove me crazy to change her nasty pull-ups when I knew she could have done "it" in the toilet, but I resisted chewing her out, and finally she decided it wasn't worth it anymore.

Sounds like you are just going to have to give up the control. It is the one thing that he can control you over and he is doing it in spades....my three year old wouldn't go either but one day she was ready and that was it...no more accidents. Just tell him that if he wants to be a baby then you will treat him like one. and then let it go...it is a really hard decision to make but I understand where you are coming from...good luck.

I posted this to a lady before and it does work, I wish more parents would try it and not hesitate, I am currently starting it with my 16 month old, not really to potty train yet but to prep for when I do in the next month or 2.....

Let him be naked, nothing on bottom just a shirt, remove the pull up, keep the potty close, remind every half hour, walk him there if he needs that, get a cute cover for the lid of the toilet, it makes it more inviting. By letting him be naked he learns/feels exactly what his body is warning him of and what will happen next, we know he gets the concept that the poopy goes in the potty but know he needs to feel how to get it there. Pull ups offer a false sence of security, you will have some mess, get some carpet cleaner, when he has an accident make it no big deal, walk him to the potty and let him know next time you hope he gets there fast enough, have him help clean it up, kids really don't want to mess themselves, but diapers and pull ups restrict just how "dirty" they get. If you have more questions feel free to message!

I think all children will be potty trained eventually and at different times. Just because you're older boy may have been out of diapers earlier doesn't mean your 2-1/2 yr-old is ready. If it makes you feel any better, my twin boys were not completely potty trained until close to 3-1/2. I took my friend's advice to not push it and you'll see signs of when he is ready. I have had no major problems after they were completely out of diapers, such as bed wetting or accidents (just the occasional laughing too hard).

2 1/2 is still really early for boys. They just dont care to rush into the potty thing. Give him some time, but keep having him go whenever he will. Sometimes its a process and not necessarily an overnight thing! He'll get it. Right now, youre only making yourself crazy.
~L.

have you tried to have him try to sink a "Cheerio" I mean that literally. put just a few "Cheerio" cereal in the toilet bowl and ask him to sink just one -- that will make peeing a little bit like a game, gives him something to shoot for and teaches him to aim at the same time. My mom used to do it with my nephew and it worked like a charm for them.
Hope that helps.
J.

Take a deep breath. I have 4 boys and none of the potty trained until they were well past three. Moms biggest problem with potty training little boys, is you have never been one. You don't know how they think.
Make it a non-issue. Stop training and let him be in charge. Don't ask him about it anymore. Let him tell you when he is ready. Don't take it personally and be his ally. He needs to know that you think he is okay no matter what is going on his life. As soon as you let him be in charge and just enjoy the delightful little boy that he is the quicker he will decide to move on with his life with you as his champion.

I've been doing exactly what Marcia suggested, only with toy trains on top of the TV, and for him getting his BM's in the potty. He gets to play with the train the day he puts bm's in the potty. If he does it twice, he can get two trains down, or a train and a bridge, etc. It's our TIME IN. :) They are new, and his currency, so it's been working WELL. He has gone on the potty in the mornings and before bed, just like what you are saying, for pee. But, not until YESTERDAY did he actually tell me "Mommy, the chickens are wanting to come out." Chickens are what he calls his BM's....but that's another funny story. AND, I put the new trains back up on the TV for the next day. He is so excited about this, that it is a new challenge, etc. He also called his best 3 year old buddy to tell him of his success. That's fun too. And Daddy, and the lady at the grocery store, and the people at Olive Garden, etc. Hee Hee "Roll Eyes." Good luck, and if nothing works for a while, back off, and let him take the lead on when he wants to try again. My son is 3 and a half, and it does GENERALLY take boys longer than girls.
J.

You might try having him go in an "old-fashioned" kind of potty chair and put a small stone that changes colors when it gets wet in the bottom. Sometimes it's just a little thing that makes the difference. But I'm thinking that he might be having some issues with being "ousted" from his spot as the baby. Maybe try constant reassurances of your continued love and some extra "one on one" time. I know that it sounds kind of bad, but rewards (or bribes, whichever) sometimes are just the thing. Maybe he could collect stickers and when he has enough (when he's trained) he can trade them in on something that he really wants, like a big boy toy!

I work at a preschool and although I do not work with the children who need potty training, I can tell you what I've seen those teachers do. They simply tell the kids that they can earn an m&m (just one) for each time they go "poopy" on the potty. Knowing your child is lactose intolerant, perhaps m&m's wouldn't work but you could use something like Smarties. Good Luck!

J., here is a link: this issue comes up very often,
it is sad we do not have some kind of a summary or glossary list to see the answers by topics, but here it is:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/18011963078660325377

and, good luck!!!

I was told (and it worked for us) to let him run around without anything on his bottom for a couple of days. Be ready for some messes at first, but within a day or two he will get the idea he has to go in the potty. Just keep asking if he has to go. I don't know if you use a kids potty or have him go on the big potty. But my daughter would not go on the little potty, only on the big potty. We also got childrens videos and books on going potty from the library to let her watch and read. We also encouraged her to help clean up her messes.
The other thing we did that helped was to let her pick a day trip (out of a list of ones we were willing to do) and we took poker chips and when she would go to the potty she could take a poker chip and put it in the jar. Once she filled it (by them she was potty trained) she got to go. She chose to go to the Jelly Belly Factory.

Getting them to go poopie on the potty still eludes me though. We are doing the poker chips in a jar this time and she wants to go to Chuck E. Cheeses once she fills the jar.

Good Luck!

Don't use pullups -- they feel just like diapers. Put him in underwear, and take him to the bathroom every 1 to 1-1/2 hours. If he wets, either make him change his own clothes ot mskr iy s point to *not* drop everything and change him. It seems mean, but it sounds to me like he *can* control himself more than he's letting on. After getting cold and clammy a couple of times, he should realize it's more comfortable to just go. Don't pay him much attention when he wets; just handle it matter-of-factly, and make a big production when he goes successfully. Good luck!!