Wow! My friend has a three-year old son who just went through this same problem. Listen to her story:
Her son had been snoring very loudly, waking the house, and one night he had fallen asleep on the couch and she saw him completely stop breathing. It freaked her out, of course, and she scheduled him immediately for a doctor's appointment. He was referred to an ear, nose, throat (ENT), and was told that most likely her son's tonsils would have to be removed. Luckily at her first appointment with the ENT, she wasn't seen after a few hours in the waiting room and she had to reschedule with a different doctor. I say luckily because the second doctor ordered a facial x-ray, which revealed a major sinus infection -- even though he'd had no other symptoms. He was given a round of antibiotics and within a few days the snoring stopped, as did the apnea, and he's been fine since.
So, go to the doctor, and if they say surgery, request an x-ray, or seek a second opinion. Anything to avoid removal of part of his body!!!
On a side note, is the same son you mentioned in another post who has aggressive behavior issues? It may be linked to sleep problems and/or diet. If nothing improves after the nose thing is cleared up, does he have a lot of refined, processed foods in his diet? The combination of the sugar and chemicals found in most foods on the shelves is not good for anyone, and causes major disruptions in the workings of such a small body. I know I've witnessed my soon-to-be four-year old's behavior change in relation to her diet. When I'm on top of things with healthy, organic, whole foods, she's awesome. When she eats typical fare, like fast food, sweets, chips, etc. (usually during grandparent visits), she's an emotional wreck, her sleep is off, and she's just different.
I hope some of this can be of help to you. Good luck. And hang in there - you certainly have your hands full!