Child Sleep Pattern

She still sounds like the perfect child to me, if you can get her to sleep after only 3 minutes of screaming.

My daughter is 2 as well and suddenly developed a similar problem. Her Ped. said it was normal separation anxiety. (She is now very ware of being alone and doesn't like it)

It felt like starting over, but what we are doing is this:
1. Normal bedtime routine of winding down.
2. Tell her it's time for bed and give her plenty of stuffed friends to sleep with.
3. Put her in the crib, make her comfortable.
4. Lay outside her crib but hold her hand until she falls asleep.
5. Remove stuffed animals from her crib except for favorite blankie.

If she wakes during the night, repeat steps 3 & 4.

The first night she cried for an hour while holding my hand. I talked softly to her, telling her she was fine but it was time for sleeping. Each night following she has gotten better. It took us one week.
The trick is to NEVER give in during this training period, but always let her know that you are there and she is safe.
Also, reward her with mega praise when she sleeps on her own through the night. But I find that being negative toward her when she isn't doing well in this area is no help at all. Just makes things worse.

Eventually, we hope our daughter tires of trying to hold our hand while getting comfy for sleep. Then we will slowly transition out of the room as she learns to fall asleep again on her own.

Hope this helps!

I feel your pain!!! Our son just turned 2 and has never been a great sleeper but the last two weeks have been worse than usual. We have established a consistent bedtime routine (bath, reading books, going in the crib awake and happy and soothing himself to sleep) and this is working beautifully. But if he wakes up at any time during the night he will not go back in the crib without crying at the top of his lungs. We live in a co-op and my neighbors can hear the wailing, so it is not really an option to let him "cry it out" and we did try this for the last 2 nights for 45 minutes and he did not stop. So we gave in and I slept in his room on a sofa. I know that this rewards his stubborness and gives him reason to believe that if he cries we will come to his room to rescue him, but we both work and we cannot function on 3 hours of sleep a night.

I am right there with you - can anybody help us??

Your daughter sounds perfectly normal and she is probably just going through a phase. My oldest, who is now 4, had a similar problem about a year and a half ago, however he also woke up in the middle of the night not wanting to go back to sleep. I started sitting with him in the middle of the night until he fell back asleep (I was so exhausted because I was pregnant and didn't want to listen to the screaming). Well after about a week and a half I was ready to start giving up and almost just brought him in my bed, After speaking to my pediatritian, who said it could possibly be separation anxiety and that it would eventually subside, i had to let him cry it out. Believe it or not, after a long four nights with the crying gradually decreasing, he just stopped waking up! I guess I techically "ferberized" because during the crying I would go in every 10 to 15 minutes and tell him mommy loved him but he needed to go to sleep.

Then about 10 months ago he started not wanting to go to bed (and he wasn't napping anymore so I knew he was tired). Unfortunately we had to battle some crying for a couple of nights but it worked.

I guess my point is...don't give up. It will pass and if you decide to go the crying route, just don't give in. You'll get through it. Good luck!

my 21 month old is doing something similar. I do NOT think the nap has anything to do with it (and would go back to giving her her full nap). If she were in a good mood she would play in her crib until she fell asleep.

I believe it's separation anxiety. In the past when this has flared up, it's lasted a few days. This episode has been a couple weeks. But I really believe that's what it is, and eventually she'll get past it. We talk about it -- she always wants me to sit in the chair in her room ("Mommy sit!") and during the day she talks about how "no mommy sit" and "mommy waits in the living room". So I think she gets it, it's just something she's going through. Sounds like yours is doing the same thing, and I believe it will pass with time.

This also happened with my daughter. She had no issues when sleeping in her crib from birth to age 2. But at age 2 we switched her to a toddler bed. She never wanted to fall asleep alone. There were nights where my husband or I would have to stay with her for up to an hour to get her to fall asleep. We always read her a story before bed which relaxed her and played music in her room which also seemed to help. I think it is an anxiety issue of being alone. THey are so aware at this age. Just stay calm about it though. If you react with negativity it will make it worse. Try reading to her or coloring...a quiet, calm activity before bed. Bathtime at night always soothed my daughter too. Maybe that will help. After a little while try spending less time in the room, tell her you will stand outside the door and then eventually (hopefully) you will be able to let her fall asleep without the screaming. Good luck.

i agree with a previous post, she sounds like an excellent sleeper!!! just keep up with what you are doing as it sounds like its working well considering you actually get her to sleep. just when you think you have them figured out, they change it all up:)

My daughter goes through phases like this. If this is not the norm, then this is not the norm and don't accept it as just the way it is now. The teeth could be it, when they lay down it puts more pressure on their jaws and can throb. Did you try a little tylenol so see if that was it? Is she ready to have her bottle removed from her routine? Did you cut it cold turkey or cut back slowly? When I remove something from my daughter's routine, I stage it out. For example, we're removing her binky from her day/routine. So, I stopped giving it to her other than nap and bedtime. Once that was established, when I got her up, I started telling her "binkies are for bed!" and I plucked it out and threw it in the crib. Now, she does it herself! I pick her up and she pops it out. Next phase is that I will leave it in her crib, so she has it when she is IN there, but not before. Then I'll remove it from nap time, and finally bed. She's just responds better that way. Maybe it was too fast for your daughter? yes, could be some sort of separation anxiety. Maybe a few more cuddles before nap would help? If it is just that, the cuddles will help her get over it faster. For my daughter, she gets like that when she's not feeling well. It's a sure sign something is coming on. I'm not sure the nap was too long. Also, going from 2-3 hours to 1 hour is a HUGE change for a little one. I'd say just cutting back to only 2 hours is sufficient. If she's overtired, she'll be cranky at bedtime. Good luck1!!

I really can't say what is triggering it, but it seems she wants attention, I wold try laying down wit her, and holding her, in your bed, and then putting her in her crib after se falls asleep.

I will give her the comfort and touching she wants,
help her and you relax and enjoy the minutes together.

M

My son does this once in a while. Lately aside from reading books before bed time, I also have to sit next to the crib and sing a couple of songs. Even then he doesn't like me to leave while he's awake, but I've been down this road before. I've learned my lesson, the more I feed into it the worse i gets. So now I give him a heads up, something like "mommy do 2 more songs and then go night night". This really helps him anticipate my leaving the room. He always says "mommy sit down" as I'm leaving, but I say "night night, see you tomorrow and I love you" as I'm leaving and now it seems like part of the routine. He doesn't scream or cry, so if he does (occasionally) I go back in sing a couple of more songs and then he's OK. I would say maybe your daughter is also pushing the limits. Try staying until she's mellow, and leave so she'll only cry for a minute or so. Maybe you can give her a heads up as to the end of your routine so she can anticipate it as well. Good luck

HI, L.--I don't think it's unusual for your two-year-old to start rebelling at bedtime a little. Two of my three daughters did suddenly stop going right to bed after no problem at right that same age. Suddenly they are acutely aware you are still up and she is not. I am alone in bed--it might be more fun to stay up. To me, it sounds like you're on the right track, creating a new routine, limiting nap time so she is more tired. And if possible, stick to the same bedtime each night--that always helps. Making bedtime fun helps, too, with picking out special stories, reminding her it's bedroom time. Also, she may be old enough for the big-girl bed! And that transition is exciting for them.

I did, with my second one, have some very stubborn challenges. It went on for awhile, even with new routines, etc. After determining for sure that it wasn't teething, illness, fears of any kind, or otherwise (she'd also given up a nap altogether) and we were on to just 2.5-year-old manipulation, I did tell her it was bedtime for her and if she came out of her room, she could certainly stay up but would need to sit in the corner. She chose bedtime with reading, talking, and settling in with a song. You'll get there! It stinks that we have to discipline along with the love, love, love.

Dear L., I have a 4 years old daugther she goes to bed with no problem, since she was babie,I just tell her is time to go bed, we go together we talk to God,we say thanks for evrething,afther that we read a book, I turn off the ligth,I said good nigth,sweet dreams,I love you always and I kiss her, then my husband comes and says goodnight and give her a kiss, my husband a my we take turns all this process take us half a hour or one hour.
I hope this works for you.

Hi L.,  My daughter was 2 in January and for the most part she is a great sleeper.  We went through a period that was exactly what you are going through.  My advice to you is to let her cry until she falls asleep.  Don't get me wrong, this is sometimes hard when the crying doesn't stop for a while(sometimes 30 minutes) but its the only way to get it to stop.  When you keep going back into her room you are showing her that if she continues to cry you will come back.  Even though she is only 2 she is smart enough to pick up on this.  We did this and after 2 nights she stopped crying.  I'm letting you know in advance that it is hard to listen to her scream and there is a chance she could cry so hard she may throw up but trust me if you do it, this will stop.  My most important advice to you is DO NOT GO BACK IN HER ROOM ONCE YOU PUT HER DOWN.  If you have any other questions let me know.  Goood luck and stay strong (I promise it will be worth it).

Beth 

I know how you feel - my son will be 2 in August and is a great sleeper. So whenever he goes through anything where he isn't falling to sleep right away or he is waking up in the middle of the night or really early I feel like it is really tough! But remind yourself that she is a really good sleeper and you are really lucky (read some other requests of problem sleepers).

I agree with a lot of others that it could be separation anxiety, but I do have another thing to consider.

Remember at 2 they are aware of a lot and things could scare them. We realized that my son was turning off our TV whenever something frightening was on. Not necessarily frightening for us, or something we would think not to watch while he was around. But if we were watching a news program and a horror movie preview, or TV show preview with creatures in it came one he would run and shut off the TV.

So what I'm saying is she could be scared of something. I don't know how verbal she is, if you can ask her.
How much light is in her room at night? If she is in complete dark - try a night light. If she has a night light - see if it makes any scary shadows or try to move it somewhere else in the room. Are there any scary noises she can hear that you can drown out with a fan? Does she have a noise machine that makes scary noises. Their imaginations are just starting to work and they don't understand a lot and could be scared of anything at all, even if it doesn't make sense to you.

Good luck.

Hi L., My daughter is 2 also...here is a couple of things that have worked for us...

Teething- always an issue or not having enough to eat- we feed her a little pediasure before bed...has been doing the trick
Also, crib vs. bed- my daughter was waking up during the night 2 or 3 times crying and uncomfortable. We have the 5 minute rule to wait to react if it is not a desperate cry- when that was not working...and me being 6 months pregnant I decided she needs a big girls bed. We changed the guest room to her big girls room with a full size bed and duevet like ours. The transition was amazing. She asks to go to bed now, plays on her bed with her toys and is much more independent. In the crib we found out her feet kept getting stuck between the bars and the mattress was too hard. She started perfering our bed. She is much better now but she is getting in her 3 yr. molars early....but mostly sleeps through the night.

Hi! I have a child that seems some what like yours. She was such an angel never gave me problems. Every so often, she "tests the waters" by doing something like what you mentioned. The fact that she only screamed for 3 min. seems to indicate that may be exactly waht she is doing. I think it is all a part of the growing process. If you just keep ignoring her/letting her cry (for a reasonable amount of time)She will prob. give up. Mine always did when she realized that the rules where set and crying/screaming or other wasn't going to change that.|It just happened once in a while, and still does. (she is 4.)Sometimes it would be trying to stay up later with excuses or whatever, not just crying, esp. now that she is older. We havve always just stayed firm! I don't know if that helps, but maybe it will be encourging. |Good luck, post again in the future ifyou still have a problem!

i'm in ur situation too. my daughter will be 2 next saturday and i just took her bottle away maybe 2 weeks ago (now giving her sippy cup with water) nap time she freaks sometimes, sometimes she doesn't. bedtime she usually goes to bed good, but sometimes she cries...but only for a couple of minutes. what i did was just told her that it's bedtime she HAS to go to sleep and i'm not going to come in every time she cries, but i love her and GOODNIGHT! this has basically worked (after 2 weeks of on and off freak outs. though i have to say, i make sure her belly is full before bed, and that she's completely worn out before putting her down. hope this helps.

OMG! I am in the exact same situation as you! Unfortunately I don't have a solution yet. My 20 month old son use to be the "poster child" for sleep. He started sleeping through the night since he was 4 months old and sleeps up to 12 hours (with a 2-3 hour nap a day). We would read him books, sing songs and put him down. Even if he wasn't tired he would just lay there and play until he fell asleep. For the past week, he has been screaming as soon at you get up to put him in the crib. We haven't even been able to say the work "sleep" or "nap", he freaks out! He is fine as long as you stand there until he falls asleep (but I don't want to get him use to that). Good Luck! I hope you find an answer, because I have no idea. I'm at my wits end. If you do find out something and wouldn't mind letting me know I would SO APPRECIATE IT! Thanks.