Child Holding Poop In

Stop talking about poop at all. Let nature take its course, and then clean it up. Try potty training again in a few months. Is this battle worth it?

G.,
this is so annoying. My daughter would be is such pain for days b/c she refused to poop. i would think 'Just Poop"!! She started holding when she was 18 mos. and i feel we've made some pretty decent process - she's 4! So, personally I have to say this just takes a lot of time. They just get something in their head, think it works, and just stick to it. We did allergy tests, complete dietary changes, enemas, a gastrontrologist, and behavior therapy. Not to mention countless reward systems that would work only at first. So what worked? Time. But during that agonizing time we started Miralax. It was recommended by all of her doctors. You can buy it at any drugstore. Even though the problem wasn't hard stool, this stuff at a full dose, makes it nearly impossible to hold a BM. My daughter has been on it for a year. It's hard for us at times b/c we don't even take Tylenol. But pooping is so important! We figure when she really enjoys pooping - then we'll stop using it. So, good luck, and hang in there.

Hi G.

My son did this a lot..... originally no problem going in his diapers, but when we put pullups on him in hopes of getting him to go in the potty, he wasn't having it.. he would only use the toilet when he had to urinate. then eventually, little by little he would at least sit on the toilet and try and go but if he didn't , we'd put back on his pullups, for which he would then go in those... :)
he would hide behind our recliner chair where no one could see him and go in his pants..... after months of this... he eventually began to go in the toilet... however, this was around age 5.. (some say boys take longer) he is now 7 and while he does go in the toilet, at times I do see him trying to hold it in, especially if he is doing something fun and doesn't want to be bothered or interrupted by having to go to the bathroom :) oh kids will be kids and are all different.. try to not make a big deal out of it.. and she will eventually go in the potty..
best of luck to you!

Hi G.,

While I have not had to experience this first hand, I too have a very stubborn child who would like to control as much as he possibly can. He's two months shy of three and we use cloth diapers. I am SO ready to give up diapers, but he is not. I've had many a mom tell me that he's "just playing me" and that I need to get tough and serious about training. I recently put away the potty because he refuses to use it. I told him to ask for it when he's ready, but I'm afraid I'll be diapering until he's four! :) Part of my fear with potty training is that my son will do what your daughter is doing and I'm afraid to rush things. My friend had a son who did this and she eventually went back to diapers just for pooping. He'd ask for a diaper when he needed to go and go back to underwear as soon as he'd finished. My friend explained to me that some kids are afraid that a part of them is being flushed down the toilet and that scares them. My friend asked her pediatrician and they worked on pooping in the diaper and the child flushing the poops down (supervised, of course). I recently read something about this on the Dr. Sears website and there a few great suggestions such as easing them to pooping on the potty. First, have her poop in diapers in the bathroom only. Once she's got that down have her poop in her diaper on the toilet so they learn how to control those muscles from a sitting position (this makes sense as my son usually bends over and lays on his tummy while standing and pooping). From there, she will associate pooping while sitting on the toilet and gradually ease her out of the diaper. I don't know if this works, but it sounds great! :) Anyhow, here is the link to where I saw this info: http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az7.asp. Good luck and please let us know if you figure this out.

-H.

I have a little different issue but I think what I've done will help. My baby was extremely constipated. It was awful. I started giving him Baby Calm which is a Magnesium supplement from the health food store or online. It's a powdered Magnesium. They also make Kid Calm for kids. The label says start with 1/4 teaspoon and build up until stool is comfortably soft. I'm giving my 11 month old 1 teaspoon a day and he has a full diaper every morning with no tears. The stool is so soft that there is no holding it in. It's not diarrhea but it is definitely soft and no pain.
Before he only had a bm about once a week and 4 days of that was miserable for everyone.
Good luck.

Keep the stools soft. Keep the processed grains to a minimum, and apple juice in small amounts daily can help keep things soft.
MIlk products can be constipating for some people.

Hi G.,
I agree with the other Mom who says maybe it's time to ease up again and just give her diapers to poop into. She's still pretty young, though I know there's a lot of pressure to have them 100% trained by age 3!
I recently checked out a helpful book on potty training from the library. Toilet training the Brazelton way. He emphasizes letting the child be in control of when they potty train. It's their body, and when they're ready they'll do it. They certainly know how, it's just a matter of readiness.
Sorry, I know "patience" is hard to hear!
Good luck with the feisty daughter.
A.

I agree w/ the other Moms that she's probably not ready. My niece pooped in a diaper up until almost 4. She would wear underware but would ask for a diaper when she had to poop. She would put on the diaper and stand in the bathroom to poop. She was really scared of pooping it the toilet and this made her more comfortable. We also have a best friend who is almost 3.5 and he does the same thing. He's been peeing in the toilet for a year now but won't have anything to do w/ pooping there. For both kids, their parents didn't push them and let them lead the training. My almost 3.5 year old son recently trained himself. We didn't pressure him at all. He'd pee easily but for a long time would not poop. He finally did it and I think it was a combo of not forcing him (or asking him to do it) and my Mom getting him excited about "making plops in the toilet" (she appealed to his potty humor and made it funny). I think my biggest bit of advice is don't stress about it and let her lead. She will do it on her own time. Good luck!
take care,
J.

Hi G.,

To add to the behavioral support you have received:

constipation, and painful BMs can become an issue also. You could give her some aloe vera juice to help with that if you want. You can call me or check my website for Aloe Plus. Take a look at Local Business Reviews/Victorious Living with Symmetry Direct for web address.

D. Hendon
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G.,
Our son was the same way and when rewards/punishment/encouraging/pushing did not work, we left the decision to him by saying that we would like him to go in potty but you take your own time and let us know when you are ready to do that. No big deal. Given his own time, he came around himself. When he about to turn 4, we were in whole foods and he said don't buy any more diapers for me. He went number 1 since then but after few trials with number 2, he said I don't like to go number 2 in potty and again we said let us know when you comfortable and ready. And he did after 6 more months and never looked back.

To me, potty training is not taught but it is a physical control that is learned at its own time. Kids may attain physical control but still choose to go in diaper and that does not mean they are not potty trained. Though my son did not completely used toilet until 4 and 5, he attained physical control since age 2. Since that age, He never soiled his underpants, not even in bed. He always told us when he had to go. It was simply his choice to go in diaper. When under social pressure, we start pushing our kids, that is when they start holding in and are not ready for a change. Though some kids may comply and respond to bribes, rewards, or punishments, it is still their decision not our action that brought the desired result. If is child is happy and thriving, I would not worry about meeting the benchamarks.
Good Luck,
-Rachna