Child Has Crush on Cartoon

I doubt it's a crush on the cartoon character, but an interest in the acts of the cartoons characters...you said a lot of hugging and kissing. I am really very upset with the way even childrens cartoons portray relationships between children, violence, etc...they make it okay and indoctrinate our childrens ideas of what is acceptable...but back to the point...this is probably as close to a porno as this 11 year old pubesent boy is getting and there ya go! Children are getting sexual earlier and earlier. What chance do we have with programs & commercials that are so detailed and telling? I don't know which are worse, but being a grandmother, I cringe. Children are learning too much too fast that they aren't able to psychologically handle. I would definately keep an 11 year old boy and 9 year old girl from being alone together for even a short time. He is changing, or about to, and may not handle it as we would like. Bottom line...why take the chance. What I would prefer is to have the restrictions on programming that we had 40 years ago. I watch TV with the remote in hand when my granddaughter (5) and I watch TV, and I'm talking about the supposed childrens stations! I never let her watch alone...I want to know what she sees and hears so I can address any questions or anything inappropriate. The violence and sex on TV (as well as video games, commercials, magazines, just about any advertising)have gotten WAY out of hand and I believe are a major reason for so many of the problems of todays society and the future.

In todays society the TV and computer are raising too many children instead of their parents and good values. TV should be for entertainment and education and watched by children and parents TOGETHER. TV should not be a babysitter.

Suggest that your friend take her son to the library or book store and get some of the great age appropriate books for her him. It's healthier and will exercise his imagination in a positive way.

What he's going through is perfectly natural. Would she feel better if he had a crush on a non-cartoon girl like Hannah Montana? I mean, of all the people to have a crush on, Kim is a great one! She's a strong girl who appreciates her friends. Who wouldn't want that? :-)

As for your concerns and your friends, the only way to prevent any inappropriate behavior is to talk to him. My 9 year old daughter is very touchy feely, but she knows from talks with both her father and me (we're divorced) that she is not supposed to touch people without asking permission, as not everyone wants a hug or to be touched. Kissing is forbidden to her, explained as something she can do when she's older, but right now, kisses are for mommy, daddy and relatives.

Also, I would tell your daughter to be very firm should he decide to try something anyway. My son (10) has to do this with his sister, because he is very picky about affection (especially public affection), which is also one of the reasons I don't worry about the cartoon girls he likes, like Starfire from Teen Titans.

Again, all about communication. Just keep talking. They're listening.

I, too, feel this crush is fine and normal. However, you obviously have concerns about his hormones and your daughter. I would not talk to the boy unless something happens. This would be crossing lines you have no business crossing with someone else's child. However, do ask the boy's mother if she has had "the talk" with him about what is appropriate behavior regarding himself and others. Then, you should have a sit-down with your daughter and discuss what is allowable talk and touch.

Good Luck!
L.

No it's not strange. My son is 3 and he likes Jasmin on Alladin. There's nothing wrong with it. I don't think he would do anything inappropriate with your daughter, but there's nothing wrong with keeping a little closer eye on the 2 of them when they're together if you're not 100% comfortable. You should have a chat with your daughter too. Tell her to let you know if the boy does anything she doesn't like or thinks is weird.

Given the other possibilities, I think it's pretty great that an eleven year old boy would have a crush on an animated girl who is smart, tough, and witty. I've never seen the show all the way through but in the little glimpses I've caught, it seems as though that's not the worst template with which to start puberty.

Honestly, I think its very normal for kids to develop a crush around that age. I mean as long as it doesn't get out of hand I don't see that there is anything for you to worry about. I mean think back to when us females were younger and we had a crush on NKOTB or NSYNC or whoever was the latest and greatest at that time. Its perfectly fine, in my opinion.