Child Forging Parent's Name

ASK him why he is doing these things. why he is acting out so much in school and why he forged his dads name.

Ooooooooh, I so remember my punishment! I was 12, in 7th grade, and I traced mom's signature from a cancelled check onto a progress report that gave me a D in English. I got away with it, until mom flipped out when she got the report card. I gave it to her Monday morning (after "1 last weekend", and in front of my grandma, for protection). Instead of my walking to school as always, she drove me! And got out and went into the guidance counselor's office with me! In a house dress! and slippers! and unbrushed hair! I seriously thought I was going to die.
Mom wanted to know WHY she hadn't been warned that my grade was so bad before this, so she could get me in line. The English teacher had to come out of her class and meet mom right there. She brought out the progress report and said "you did know, you signed this". Mom saw it at a glance and said "Oh......well......I guess.....I'm sorry about this" and was embarassed and about to apologize some more (I ALMOST got away with it!) and then she saw that I had made a little mistake and tried to correct it, whereas mom wouldn't have corrected anything on her signature. So, that's how I got busted. She asked me about it, and I said "Yes, I traced it off your cancelled checks" and she sent me to class (to live in fear all day) and said she'd talk to me when I got home.
The punishment (besides being humiliated by mom's sudden appearance and the day long fear of what was to come) was that I had to TYPE a report on the following things: What is forgery? What is the legal definition, the punishment, 2 cases of people from the periodical section in the library that got arrested for forgery and what was their sentence, etc. Then to what I did in God's eyes: Lying. What is lying? Using a concordance, I had to look up what the Bible has to say about lying, etc, etc. Then from these things, how do I feel about this situation? How do I imagine my parents feel? The teachers? How would someone who is known to be a liar be looked at and what would be the social consequences of that? Do I think I'll do it again, and how do I plan to correct the situation? Finally, a bibliography. YES a freaking bibliography!!! All this was handwritten, and then had to be typed and bound in one of those little report folders. A copy was made to my grandma (shame of all shames), to the guidance counselor, to the English teacher, and to my Sunday School teacher.
Let me tell you that 23 years later, I STILL will not, under any circumstances, ever sign someone's name to anything, even if they tell me to do it for them. No way. I did a lot of stupid things as a teen. But forgery wasn't something I did after that. :P

i was in 7th grade and forged my own absence excuses... I dont remember what happened to warrant it but They called my mom in and she was livid when she saw my 3 or 4 forgeries of my stepdads signature. I got grounded for 2 weeks and never forged again.

This book gets recommended a lot, for good reason. "How to talk so kids will listen - and how to listen so kids will talk". It's so important to keep your child communicating with you at this age and on up. Something is going on in his thoughts that he is behaving this way. I'm not saying punishment isn't warranted for these offenses, but communication is what is needed continuously.

To me, the 'key' thing you said here is "I do not really think he truly gets that what he did was wrong...."

THAT to me.... is very important to consider... in how.... he is handled about these big problems he did at school.
Most kids by NOW... know that it IS wrong.

Since your son does not really understand right/wrong.... then, Punishments... will not work.
Going to Confession, will not work either. Because, he does not understand the INTRINSIC wrongness... of doing what he did.

Forging a person's name... if that were an adult... is a crime.
Throwing a kid's school lunch... is really inappropriate.
Cursing... is just plain wrong and kids even as young as 6 know that.

So... your son, may have other issues or learning issues or other things.
Have you ever had the need, to have him assessed?

Is this the FIRST time he has acted this way?
Is this the FIRST time has does not seem to know what right/wrong is??
If not, then I would have him evaluated....

To me... this is not normal behavior and which Confession or writing something down 100 times is going to solve.
BECAUSE... by now... a child... certainly at 12 years old... SHOULD know... what is right and wrong and that what he did was VERY wrong.

Honestly, something sounds wrong here. You need to get to the bottom of why he has started acting out. Is something going on at school, a bully, a teacher that is harsh, he doesn't like something at school and this seems to be the only way for him to tell you. As for punishment, confession is not going to cut it, nor will a term paper on dishonesty. Although both would be good for him to do along with a punishment. You will need to take something away that is important to him. Tv, video games, freedom to go out and play with friends, maybe all of that. I don't know how you typically deal with bad behavior.

But please, please sit down with him and have an open conversation. Is his acting ot something new...like this year, or the past few months or has he always been a tough kid? If the latter, then you may need to reevaluate your methods for discipline as they are not tough enough or meaningful. I mean we are catholic and my kids attend catholic school too but I know if my kids got caught cursing in church, they would go to confession but they would be in some serious hot water at home too; no electronics, no playdates, no cell phone...going to confession, in my mind was probably an easy out to your son. You probably don't even know if he truly confessed as what is said in there is confidential.

HA! In 6th grade I traced my moms signature and practiced it over and over and wrote my own notes to miss school. My mom found sheets and sheets of my practiced signature of hers and then found out how much school I misssed! Truthfully I don't know what my punishment was but I turned out ok. :o) Your son will too...just part of growing up and pushing the boundaries!!!

My parents had the kind of signatures that were impossible to forge. So, perhaps subconsciously, that's why mine is the way it is. My kids couldn't come close no matter how hard they tried. They never attempted forging my name.
However, they did try to pull some things and I was usually less upset about the actual offense (never stealing or anything serious) than I was over the fact that they apparently honestly thought I would never find out. I told them there wasn't a trick in the book that I wasn't aware of and all they were doing was delaying the inevitable. A) I would ALWAYS find out B) I would be twice as ticked when I did. It was best to come clean, up front.

I would try to get to the bottom of why your son is acting out. He may not even really know. But, his behavior is not acceptible and clearly he knows that or he wouldn't have tried to cover his last snafoo by forging his dad's name. Throwing a kid's lunch is pretty bad, but what he did to try to hide it was way worse.
I can't really say what punishment you should apply, but he needs to know that more than anything, this was a breech in trust and THAT'S the upsetting part.
On the other hand, he tried it and he got caught. (Thank Goodness!)
You need to do something that really makes it not even an option to try it again.

I wish you the best.

When my daughter was 12 she was so stupid that she tore a signiture off another paper and taped it on the document in question - when we all quit laughing ( I was the school secretary!) I kept the offending document and still have it to blackmail her with her own kids stupidity!!!

I thought the essay idea was a good one - complete with the bibliography.

Has anything changed? At home, in the family, at school? I agree that since he is on a third strike for behavior at school he needs to be grounded.. No TV, No computer (except for homework) for 2 weeks..

Also you all need to have a meeting with the school and find out what is his problem that he cannot keep his behavior in check..

Is he in 6th grade? It sounds like a 6th grader who is not used to or cannot handle all of the structure.. It is not like elementary school where they have a real break.. even PE is structured exercise and play..

Make sure at night he has some sort of physical activity.. Tae kwon do, basketball something.. to help him get rid of his physical energy.. Maybe even if it is a Wii with only physical activity if he cannot be outside..

a few forgery stories from my childhood:

My older sister was so good at forging my mom's name (and did it so often) that my mom said if she had sent a real signature in they would've thought it was a fake. I don't recall my sister getting in trouble for it. In general, she signed things like field trip permission slips that mom knew about but had forgotten to sign or things that mom would've been fine with, never a note from school or anything like that.

When I was in middle school, I had a bad grade on my midterm report so I changed it by writing over the D and turning it into a B. In my mind, I had plenty of time to turn it around, I just needed to not get in trouble for the D. I got in HUGE trouble about that - forgery or not. I don't remember what my punishment was, but I remember being in very hot water over it.

While I do like the forgery essay someone else mentioned, I think the bigger issue is the dishonesty about his behavior issues. Really, that's the point you're going to have to drive home, I think. Perhaps set up with his teachers to send you a behavior report (good or bad) every single day so that he won't be able to hide the fact that they're sending a note home. He's been dishonest and broken your trust. While I think that there's a bigger issue here that's causing the behavior problems (which you're going to need to get to the bottom of for the long term), I also think that a breaking of trust like that deserves some suspension of given trust. Check up on him when he says he'll be somewhere. If he says he's finished his homework, insist on looking over it before you believe him. Make him do some work to earn that trust back. Impress upon him that trust is a very important commodity and not to be thrown away lightly.

Your church has a Top 10 list for curse words?! That's awesome.

Wow. I really don't know what I would do either. My heart goes out to you though.

Have him write a three page research paper on dishonesty and why being trustworthy, kind and using clean language are good characteristics to have. In the paper, he needs to explain why he has chosen to do those things and how he can do better in the future.

You may understand his mentality and he may learn something here. Have a good sit down talk with him. Throwing another child's lunch and being disruptive is not appropriate, he knows this. Perhaps he is acting out for attention, maybe something has happened at school that is making him unhappy? Be sure you praise him for all of the things he is doing right, and that you know that he is a great kid, and that he can trust you to help him if he needs.

ps.. I got really good at forging my parents names on my 6 week progress reports.