Hello,
I was wondering if I am being to harsh on my 4 year old son. We have always been tough on the chewing with the mouth open. We think it is bad manners and we don't want our children to be the kids at the restaurant smacking and talking with food in their mouths.
Anyways, he knows that he needs to close his mouth. And when he knows were looking he does it. Sometimes its like it does it just to bother us. Are we being to harsh, and should we let off and let him chew with his mouth open?
My main question is, is he two young to KNOW how to do it?
My son has a hard time with this, gentle reminders and demonstrations OHH and here's my kid's problem SMALLER BITES!! Those are things that may help with the issue. Keep pushing it but be gentle about it.
I think he is old enough to understand but young enough still that he just forgets...I am with the others, gentle reminders until it sticks!
No he should know it is the right thing to do, but he just forgets.
It is normal, but you want him to learn good habits now, because it is harder to break bad habits later.
Smaller bites. Remind him to cut up things smaller. To take a smaller bite. To slow down and no talking while chewing. It also helps having a mirror so he can see how bad it looks to talk with hos mouth full.. Will help him remember.
As a woman who has suffered through thousands of meals sitting next to my ex husband who chews loudly with his mouth open (says he can't help it), I thank you and parents like you on behalf of every girl your son will take a meal with!
(I agree with the others, a gentle reminder, he'll get it eventually!)
:)
I don't know "how" you respond to him when he chews with his mouth open... which matters as much as anything. A freindly reminder like "Mouth closed please" or even touching your finger to your lips and then smiling or saying thank you when he closes his mouth will probably be more effective than being "snappy" about it.
If it is something that "sets you off" he might be doing it JUST because it irritates you... especially in restaurants because he "knows" that he'll get your attention with it, but you are too polite to "cause a scene" in public. (I dare to assume).
You could surprise him sometime. Gasp! LOL... if you do, pick your venue wisely! But chances are if he is NOT doing it to irritate you, he is just forgetful and will respond well to gentle reminding! But no, it is NEVER too young to instill good manners in your kids!
Good Luck!
-M.
My 4yo just asked me about this the other day. My response was, because nobody wants to see your food rolling around in your mouth...yuck! He comprehended very well and chews with his mouth closed.
I guess if he already does it when you are looking, then no, he is not too young to KNOW how to do it because he already IS doing it!!
Oh, I'm with you on this one! I think it is bad manners, and it happens to be one of my husband's pet peeves, so we are very "strict" on this rule. 4 is DEFINITELY old enough to know this...
I have found that the description "chew with your lips closed" is more understood as opposed to "chew with your mouth closed". I've got four kids: 7,6,4 and 2 1/2. The 2 1/2 year old has been the worst with this, but we are giving her some time to figure it out.
Ughhh!!! That one took FOREVER for our two!!! I don't think he's too young. You just have to keep reminding and reminding until the habit happens. Good luck Mama! I can't stand kids chewing with their mouths open either. Keep at it!
I think w/ a 4yo. an occasional gentle reminder is enough :)
i wouldn't be super-harsh about it (he's only 4) but PLEASE do keep working on it! i don't really know how i failed this one so badly, for the most part my boys are really delightful young men. but my older one has always and still chews distractingly noisily and it's just so unpleasant. i've begged, pleaded, appealed to his girlfriends for help, reasoned, threatened and left the room because i couldn't take it any more.
don't let your baby reach his 20s without learning this one!
khairete
S. (epic failure as mom in this department)
I dont know the "right" answer to this, but I dont let my daughter get away with it. It drives me nuts! If she did it to annoy me after I tried correcting her I would send her to her room. Harsh? I dont know, but I too think its important for children to have good table manners.
No. I don't think he is too young to understand or be able to do it. It IS possible that he takes bites that are too big for him to chew "politely/properly" sometimes. If you think that might be the case, then caution him directly about the size of the bites he is taking.
What it sounds like he is doing, though, is deliberately disobeying and throwing it in your face. Totally disrespectful, and worthy of being removed from the table after the first warning goes unheeded.
He is not too young, he should chew with his mouth closed and he needs to learn this early and listen when his parents give him rules. We started telling our children before age 2. You can show him how to do it and if he does not listen, take away dessert, etc until he can learn. He is obviously doing it to test you or see what you will do to react if he is fine sometimes and others he is not. Put your foot down and make him listen.
That was one of my pet peeves on manners as well. I started mine out early, probably by age 2. I dont recall mine ever chewing with their lips opened. I hate it, it's so gross and ugly and noisy. I'd keep on him until it becomes a habit.
I agree with the "gentle reminders" group of posters.
I have to say, as a preschool teacher, I have a couple who frequently chew with their mouths open. While I remind them to 'eat with your mouth closed, please', I do think that if it's a natural habit, they will likely forget. So, if you can work out a non-verbal hand signal to him, this might be more effective. This way, when you are out in public, you do have a chance to correct the action before it becomes a control issue/humilation, etc..
I have a sister in her 30s who still does this, BTW, as well as my dear, lovely husband. His crunching loudly totally bugs me, but I understand that he really *does forget*. So, my advice would be to depersonalize this as a 'respect' issue and just put it in the category of 'good manners' and think about correcting this for his own betterment, not because you are feeling disrespected. It CAN become about this, if you wish, but better to just keep it low-key and consistent.
And knowing 'how' to do it may mean being consciously attentive of this. That's asking a bit of a four year old, so choose those correcting moments with some thought.
the earlier the better to teach good etiquette, table manners, respect etc. He's not too young in fact he IS purposely being disrespectful which means a warning then a consequence like no dessert or a warning that you will take away his meal & he cannot have anything else for the rest of the evening.
No, he is not too young. My only exception would be if his nose is plugged from a cold or allergies. Then I think I'd cut him a little slack. Otherwise, keep it up.
He's not too young at all! My 4 year old daughter has been able to understand this for a couple of years, and now all I need to do is tap my mouth to remind her. My 7 year old son also needs occasional reminders.
My husband NEVER learned to chew with his mouth closed, but he does now so that I can get through a meal without wanting to vomit! :)
He is definitely not too young!! I am on my boys constantly about it. My 4 and 5 year old do pretty well, but my nearly 9 year old stepson is a PIG!! He smacks louder than an animal and I know he does it on purpose because it bothers me so much. I think its disgusting to have nasty table manners and I will not have rude little boys! I think its great you're teaching your son manners at an early age!
Maybe not too young to know but I promise you, the more attention you draw to it, the more he'll do it - not on purpose, he'll just become so self conscious. I know first hand how crazy it makes you, but try to just let it go. Model for him what you want and hopefully he'll catch on. Two things to look for - too much food in his mouth? Is he a nose or mouth breather? He may have his mouth open because he doesn't breathe through his nose while eating.
Does he have any breathing problems. Is he breathing through his mouth? Does he snore. Is he out of breath often?
If not a gentle reminder is all that is needed.
Also he's very likely old enough to use a knife and fork properly especially one that fits his hand size.
No he isn't to young to know that and it is great to teach your kids manners. Keep it up!
Nope- he is NOT too young! My daughter is not yet 4 and chews with her mouth closed and tells her 2.5 year old brother to do it too :) I don't push him yet....I think before 3 is asking a lot. However, if the kids have a stuffy nose, I let them off the hook for that time period because I think that IS asking too much if they can barely breathe .... it sounds like he is young and he is trying....give him positive reinforcement/praise when you see him doing it and maybe he will start doing it more --even when you aren't looking!
If your chewing with your mouth open You might have to much food in there. Try taking smaller bits.
